baby bi bi bi!

[lupesalvarez]

Y'ALL WE'RE BACK

WE ARE BACK FOR SEASON FOUR

[roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it]

Staff: *bans female presenting nipples*

Me: goddamnit this is exactly how Japanese tentacle porn was created

[roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it]

Japanese. Tentacle. Porn.

Alright everyone sit your asses down and shut up I’m finna learn y’all a thing

Ok so in the early 1900s there’s this dude named Franz Ferdinand and then there’s some peeps that wanna kill him. They all get together one day to kill him while he’s in his car. The first one was a pussy and chickened out and the second one threw a grenade but forgot to factor in the delay so it blew up way passed his car so he took cyanide and jumped into a river but the cyanide was expired and therefore useless and the river was like six inches deep. The rest of them were like “fuck this” and went to get a sandwich. However, Ferdinand’s driver took a wrong turn and was like “oh well I’ll just turn around at this sandwich shop” and the guys were like “oh shit isn’t that the guy we’re trying to kill” and they shot him starting WW1.

The Germans got their asses handed to them in WW1 causing them to get all butthurt and put hitler into power. Around this time Japan was trying to take over eastern Asia (basically just a small portion of China but its the thought that counts) and Germany was like “hey do you guys wanna be friends and take over the world together?” And Japan was like “hell ya my dude” and WW2 started. Also Italy was there. Anyway Germany/Japan/Italy all got their asses kicked and much like post WW1 Germany, Japan got a much stricter government. Their new strict government outlawed porn but the people of Japan were horny and one guy was like “hey guys do you remember those American soldiers that were just here kicking our asses? Well they brought these things called comic books so maybe we could make porn in comic book style” thus the birth of hentai. But then the government tried to ban that because it still showed dicks and dicks weren’t allowed so they started drawing porn with any relitively dick shaped object, the most popular being tentacles. It became so popular that even after the porn ban was lifted people continued making tentacle porn because it was such a widespread fetish.

So there you have it:

The assassination of Franz Ferdinand lead to the creation of Japanese tentacle porn

[roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it]

so for some reason this post has disappeared off my dash so i spent forever searching to bring it back again you’re welcome 

[brokeco]

If I had to read this, I’m taking my followers down with me.

I’d be lonely down there without you guys!

[c4rist4rs]

I read the entire post in bill wurtz voice a la history of japan

[bread-also-salood-deactivated20]

who needs world history now bitch

[ohnoooitsjules-deactivated20221]

Holy fu-

[wazimoomoo]

The butterfly effect works in mysterious ways

[sashibunbun]

Crazy thing is, you can trace it back to the Avingnon Papacy.

[butterflyinthewell]

This is hilarious. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[lovelyassholery-deactivated2023]

I feel so called out yet so understood

[quinnyandco]

sir that’s my emotional support story that I’ve been working on for five years that still has no conceivable plot

[bisexualiruma]

That’s so sad, Alexa play respecting bi people regardless of their preference.