𖤐 bisexual jinx 𖤐

fka thisisember he/him • 25 • black for numerology enthusiasts i'm a soul 5, personality 7. this is not primarily a fandom blog btw

[gumy-shark]

playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes

[frailgrl-deactivated20161128]

i need like 9 cigarettes and a gunshot to the face

[disgruntled-neighborhood-wife]

People who think sheep are killed for their wool are so hilarious to me. Does your barber slit your throat whenever you get a haircut?? Are you a returning customer to Sweeney Todd? Lmao it grows back, fools.

[squareallworthy]

This is completely ignoring the fact that the sheep's soul is stored in its wool. So sure, the body remains, but the spirit, the essence of the sheep, that's gone forever, and then as the wool regrows a new soul moves in.

[storm-of-feathers]

What

[shadow-banned-the-hedgehog]

Same for me, I get a new soul with every haircut. That's why my personality changes so much.

[ovenroastedtwerkey]

Tumblr citizenship means being completely unsure if the person posting about sheep souls is being 100% serious or is just taking the piss.

[yoinky-sploinky]

THEY TAKE THEIR PISS TOO?!?!?

[ovenroastedtwerkey]

Yup, stockpiling it in giant buckets to pour on the poor

[cat-goo]

Fun how the bystander effect was coined to cover up how cops are bigoted cowards who let a queer person die and stockholm syndrome was coined to cover that the cops handled a hostage situation so badly the hostages trusted their captors more than the cops.

[ca-dmv-bot]

Customer: I LOVE PUKE DMV: I LOVE PUKE Verdict: DENIED

[quixmustdie]

Girl stop looking at me like that

you and your musty ass hoodie. God i love her.

[narcissene]

affirmations:

- it’s fun to be awake & in an upright position

- consciousness is a gift

- i CAN do this anymore

[killlie]

[idkwhattoputbroo]

did I just write the suicide note of the summer??❓❓🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

[xanaxfarts]

[swarnpert]

NO MORE SONGS UNDER 3 MINUTES. GO BACK INTO THE STUDIO

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

[neuro-light]

Don’t usually go on Facebook because it’s fucking stupid but this. Was too funny.

[the-unflappablewolf]

[something-existing-somewhere]

Sorry I Spent all mY spoons this week already and it's fucking Tuesday. We're heading to the knives

[reputayswift]

THE VAMPIRE LESTAT + 😸

[raccoonmilf]

If the only thing that has kept you going was outliving Mitch McConnell, imma need yall to pick a new person to outlive and fast. Your mission is not over.

[raccoonmilf]

Umm hello??? Do u have the death note @sharkgalaxy????

[sharkgalaxy]

cant believe i have to pick another person to outlive already