never shouldve smoked that shit, now iâm on the july 17th 1995 cover of newsweek
Happy 30th birthday bisexuality
Anything That Moves 1996 issue #10 cover
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@bisexualpride
never shouldve smoked that shit, now iâm on the july 17th 1995 cover of newsweek
Happy 30th birthday bisexuality
Anything That Moves 1996 issue #10 cover
queer people on this site really make me feel like a confused straight guy at pride. the discourse here could kill a man
"why polyamorous people aren't valid" "mspec lesbians AREN'T okay actually" "aroallos are freaks" "he/him dni. cis men dni" "this post is for non-men only" yessss and the one with long hair goes in the girl box, then the one with short hair goes in the boy box!!
maybe I'm just a boring he/him white guy but inventing about 7 trillion terms to define "man" and "woman" so you can reinforce gender essentialism isn't very "love is love" of you. maybe i just don't have a sexuality but picking and choosing what sexualities are normal and which ones are "weird and predatory" sounds like we're all a bunch of republicans on fox news. if you attend your local pride parade and look REAAALLLYYY closely, you'll notice you can't actually tell if someone's gay or not from their appearance, and there's no way to know if they're "invading queer spaces". maybe it's just me, but when i attended my local gaybar last night for the drag show, they didn't ask for my gay-card with a peer reviewed diagnosis of faggot stamped on it. they just let me in the building. i live a life of bliss and luxury in not caring about any queer discourse ever, and just going "WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY :-)" while booting up the latest cod game. and it seems much more fun than whatever the fuck you people are on about
muting my notifs for this post but i need to acknowledge this first. My favorite tags fr đ
what is your stance on minors transitioning?
good question. i'll be honest, i've struggled with this answer a lot for a couple of reasons:
a) i knew i was trans as a minor but was unable to transition until i was an adult and
b) i've seen how impulsive teenagers are
as is the case with most of my answers, it's not a black and white. saying minors can or can't transition as a blank is stupid, just as stupid as saying teenagers can't know that they're trans. i did. my friend who transitioned at 15 did. my other friend, however, did not, and later detransitioned before i even had access to t.
i believe teenagers should be able to access hrt so long as a couple of criteria are met.
1. does the child have gender dysphoria
2. has this dysphoria been persistent for more than two years
3. has the child successfully socially transitioned
you may be thinking why two years, which, understandable. the reason is because gd typically presents somewhere before or during puberty. for me, it was before, but i didn't despise my female body until it became less and less male during puberty. i hated not being seen as one of the guys, but that's my own personal anecdote. regardless, gd generally presents or worsens during puberty,
teenagers should be allowed access to puberty blockers so long as dysphoria has been persistent for six months. not a huge amount of time, but enough for one to denote that these feelings aren't just a hyperfixation or a spur of the moment decision, but something that is likely causing a problem. those hormone blockers will then allow the kid to actually determine if this is gender dysphoria or some kind of fear of maturing, which can present somewhat similarly (ie. my old friend).
that six months feeds into the two year requirement, which in-turn means a kid will be on puberty blockers for roughly 1.5 years prior to hrt, which is plenty of time to socially transition for the most part
now, what if the kid has been dysphoric since childhood and persists until puberty age? then the kid can take puberty blockers for a year then continue on to hrt.
kids detransirion, just like adults do. but kids are influential, impulsive, and want to be special. and what better way to feel special and unique than to change your gender? to be autistic? to have ticks?
like all medical conditions, this is something that needs to be taken extremely seriously. there needs to be consistent therapy to ensure the child is happy and mentally healthy, doctors to ensure blood work and everything is okay, and a healthy support system to make sure the child isn't alone in this journey.
surgeries should be for those over eighteen alone. i understand these are life-saving surgeries, but again, teenagers are rash. hrt is reversible (to an extent), reversing surgeries can me.anywhere from difficult to impossible.
but yeah. that's my hot take. lmk what yall think.
So wait I can't be aspec because I have sex?? I don't feel romantic attraction like at all and you call that preference?? I'm sorry me not liking romance and being grossed out when it's performed on me is just as Valid and your sex repulsion. Saying Aromantic is just a preference is wild. if you are making that point then asexuality is not a sexuality either. Romance repulsion is just as valid as sexual repulsion. Like what,? Since when has aspec mean only asexual? Like why would kick aromantic allosexuals out of the aspec community. Not feeling romantic attraction is definitely not normal. it's not bad either. Please can you stop being hateful and rude to your fellow queer community. What you are saying or incredibly harmful for aromantics especially if they are not ace.
Not normal?
Asexuality is normal.
Bisexuality is normal.
Being gay/lesbian is normal.
Being straight is normal.
Our community is NOT for the abnormal. Its not for the weird and strange people of the earth. There are weird straight people with different desires for relationships. There are weird gay/bisexuals who have different things they want out of a relationship. And there are weird asexuals who want unique things in a relationship. Heck, there are bi/gay/straights who want no relationship at all-- but arent asexual because they experience attraction. Cuz its not about what you want/are comfy doing. Its just about 'who' you like.
Not liking romance is not a sexuality. Not liking sex is not a sexuality. That is in fact a preference. And sure, it'll make finding partners hard. But so will a million and one other things about a person.
And yeah, the SAM makes it so asexuality acts as a preference rather than a sexuality in it's own right. And thats why I dont like it. Asexuality is a sexuality in its own right.
And 'cant' is a strong word friend. You came onto my blog. I never once said you can't call yourself what ever. I have no right to tell someone what they can and can't call themselves regardless of how I feel. And I've never done so. I won't tell you what to ID as. You asked for my opinion and I gave it. I did not say what you are allowed to do. I just said my beliefs. Me stating them on my personal blog is not shoving it down your throat.
And please. If we're taking about hate. Can you not think of our community as the club for the 'weirdos.' And not associate sexuality as the act of 'sex' itself. We get enough of that already without our own community pushing that idea. Odd balls are in every group. We are coming together due to our natural attraction-- that we cannot help and is absolutely normal. The only weird things would be personality or what someone wants in a relationship. Which exist outside a sexuality.
Anymore responses will likely be ignored unless they're actual conversation and not both of us just talking to a brick wall.
Honestly normal was the wrong word. I used that word because alloromantics see aromantics as weird and not normal. I don't think sex is the only thing that makes a sexuality a sexuality romantic attraction can also make a sexuality. A lesbian can be a lesbian if they are only romantically attracted to women and nonbinary people. There is a problem with seeing romantic repulsion as a preference it's no different than seeing asexual as just not wanting sex. Both aromantic and asexual are complicated sexualities with grey area. I appreciate your clarification that there is grey area in asexuality based on your earlier posts and username. However I do not appreciate you saying being aromantic and romance repulsed is a preference. I don't think you would appreciate if I said that about asexuality. I asked you because I saw hypocrisy in your points so I asked for further clarification and I got that so I thank you for that. It is definitely not okay to say a sexuality is a preference when a lot of aromantics are grossed out by being in romantic relationships or when people have crushes on us. I hope this finds you in good health. All sexualities have grey areas.
Aromatism is apart of the SAM. So yes, I see it as a preference. Romance repulsion is a personal preference. Its what you want/dont want out of a relationship-- existing entirely seperate from 'who' you are attracted too.
Knowing you don't like romance is important. Its extremely good for you to know that about yourself. However, this is very much 'what you want out of a relationship.' Which is no romance in this case. Its a 'what' or a 'how.' It says nothing about 'who.'
Why is this such a big deal?
Because preference are capable of change. Capable being a key word here. I have a friend who's sex repulsed and likely always will be. I myself however grew out of my sex repulsion as I medically transitioned and actually was able to view my body as my own. Will you ever grow out of romance repulsion? I cant say. And thats okay. You're still perfectly capable of a happy healthy life regardless of if you do or not. Thats your own personal journey and I sincerly hope it does end well no matter how you grow as a person.
However, it is still a possibility. On a broad sense, preferences are capable of change. Not garenteed. But capable.
Sexuality is not. It cannot change. No amount of anything will ever make me like men. It cant change. Its fixed. Its very very important that is is fixed and unchangeable as its WHY our activism is so strong. We are natural and normal as we are. We cannot be changed. Its why its so important be allowed to exist as we are-- because it is who we are and will always be.
When you start calling preferences (which are capable of changing) sexualities you open the door to stating that sexuality can change. And I have seen so many people within the SAM part of the community claiming just that with no shame. Stating out right that sexuality can change, you can change it whenever you want, and nothing is fixed. While I encourage not bogging people down to a single word and allowing gray area and fluidity into self identification-- stating that sexuality is capable of change is a massive homophobic blunder. And I cannot in good conscious sit and be okay with people claiming otherwise.
That said, I also can't in good conscious take someones right to self identify as they wish away. If you want to use those terms, I have no right to stop you. I refuse to stop you. It is very important that everyone have the right to call themselves what ever they want, and be who ever they want to be. Everyone deserves to be themselves and be happy.
And along with that, it's my right to state when I find issues within the community. Just like I can point out bs in my government, in my family, in what ever groups I am apart of, I can state it when I see it here. I have never told someone they are terrible or wrong. Nor told someone they cant use what ever words they choose to use. But on my personal blog, where I only respond to others and dont go out of my way to interact with those opposed to me? Yeah, I have a hard time believing I'm spreading hate. Its not hateful to express concerns and issues that I've seen time and time again for years. Especially when there are real word consequences that I have seen happen in real time. People I've talked to irl discussing how this idea that preferences are sexuality has caused harm to them and those around them. You have every right to be upset. But anger doesn't dermine who's right.
So wait I can't be aspec because I have sex?? I don't feel romantic attraction like at all and you call that preference?? I'm sorry me not liking romance and being grossed out when it's performed on me is just as Valid and your sex repulsion. Saying Aromantic is just a preference is wild. if you are making that point then asexuality is not a sexuality either. Romance repulsion is just as valid as sexual repulsion. Like what,? Since when has aspec mean only asexual? Like why would kick aromantic allosexuals out of the aspec community. Not feeling romantic attraction is definitely not normal. it's not bad either. Please can you stop being hateful and rude to your fellow queer community. What you are saying or incredibly harmful for aromantics especially if they are not ace.
Not normal?
Asexuality is normal.
Bisexuality is normal.
Being gay/lesbian is normal.
Being straight is normal.
Our community is NOT for the abnormal. Its not for the weird and strange people of the earth. There are weird straight people with different desires for relationships. There are weird gay/bisexuals who have different things they want out of a relationship. And there are weird asexuals who want unique things in a relationship. Heck, there are bi/gay/straights who want no relationship at all-- but arent asexual because they experience attraction. Cuz its not about what you want/are comfy doing. Its just about 'who' you like.
Not liking romance is not a sexuality. Not liking sex is not a sexuality. That is in fact a preference. And sure, it'll make finding partners hard. But so will a million and one other things about a person.
And yeah, the SAM makes it so asexuality acts as a preference rather than a sexuality in it's own right. And thats why I dont like it. Asexuality is a sexuality in its own right.
And 'cant' is a strong word friend. You came onto my blog. I never once said you can't call yourself what ever. I have no right to tell someone what they can and can't call themselves regardless of how I feel. And I've never done so. I won't tell you what to ID as. You asked for my opinion and I gave it. I did not say what you are allowed to do. I just said my beliefs. Me stating them on my personal blog is not shoving it down your throat.
And please. If we're taking about hate. Can you not think of our community as the club for the 'weirdos.' And not associate sexuality as the act of 'sex' itself. We get enough of that already without our own community pushing that idea. Odd balls are in every group. We are coming together due to our natural attraction-- that we cannot help and is absolutely normal. The only weird things would be personality or what someone wants in a relationship. Which exist outside a sexuality.
Anymore responses will likely be ignored unless they're actual conversation and not both of us just talking to a brick wall.
every person Iâve ever met whoâs like my sexuality is so complicated and hard to understand is just bisexual
Hello everyone. I'd like to share a new and improved pride flag I made. I put a lotta heart into it and I think it shows a lot of the important love we have in our community. I decided to ditch the rainbow since it's been taken over by capitalism and is basically meaningless now. We deserve something new and something fun!!!!
As you can see the flag is not a normal rectangular shape. Like I said, I want something fun. We're all different an unique so our flag should be too!!!!
There are three red stripes to represent monosexuals (gay, straight, lesbian). They're all red because red has a lot of positive connotation to it. It's basic color theory. It shows health, courage, and most importantly love.
The white stripes for for non-binary and binary trans folx. White shows peace, serenity, and being calm. And you can't truly be any of those things while denying your true gender. So I think white is perfect!!!
The triangle is for polyamory because they have more than two sides. And they show unity, perfection, and importance. Meanwhile the circle represents being whole since symbolically circles mean totality, infinite possibilities, and feeling complete.
The blue is for asexuaity. Blue represents freedom, intelligence, loyalty and sensitivity. There are so many ways to be asexual it just fit so well. Especially since it allows such freedom of expression. Finally the stars represent all the multi sexual attraction labels (pan, omni, multi, poly, etc). There's thousands of stars in the sky and thousands of ways to express your sexuality and attraction.
I really hope you all like the flag!!! I'm super proud of it! <3
if you unironically think bisexual is "too limiting" as a sexuality then what the fuck
wow this post got so many notes! i'm glad none of them are unhinged and completely illogical--
--oh wait never mind
this probably sounds like a weird question, but what do you think of people who get top surgery but don't get nipple grafts? I'm having a hard time figuring out why someone would do it other than because of fear of complications or something. to me it's on the same level as people who get extreme body mods, because I really don't see how dysphoria will make you not want to have nipples? this just sounds to me like unresolved body issues
Eh. I mean, you wear shirts all day so it's not like you're looking at your chest all day. For me I was much more worried about how my body would look with clothes then how I would look shirtless. It still mattered, but not as much.
Cuz most of my time will not be spend looking at or even caring about my nipples. And there's a chance that they will look bad that isn't always worth it for everyone.
I imagine it's less "dysphoria makes me not want them" and more "my dysphoria doesn't really manifest around my nipples and so I don't really care much about them." Like? It's more a neutral stance then a not wanting them stance. And then complications or other reasons come along and they decide it's just not worth it since the dysphoria is about the boobs not the nipples.
Other reason beyond complications:
-price. Some doctors cost extra.
-preference. Some people just don't care about nipples. It's not important so I don't feel like going through the hassle.
-some might think it's easier not to have them for what ever reason. If they wanna get a chest full of tattoos it might be easier without nipples just saying.
In the end. Nipples really aren't the end all be all for everyone. I LOVE how my body looks now and I'm really happy about how they look. But not everyone is going to care that much if at all.
I hope that helps.
I hope its okay if I add on some more info OP :)
- most of the time you'll lose feelings in your nipples once they are reattached after surgery. They literally cut the nipples off, set them down on a table, then reattach them. (I know, crazy.) So, its possible you'll never have feeling in your nipples again.
- like OP said. It can cost even more money to have a nipple graft. In the USA gender reaffirming surgery is not covered by insurance. (At least, most of the time.) Top surgery can cost $9,000-12,000! đł And a lot of doctors charge extra for the nipple graft. In my opinion, it makes sense why a trans person struggling with chest dysphoria would opt to not have nipples.
- Sometimes people will get "nipple tattoos" that look pretty realistic, until you look closely.
- Oh, and sometimes after paying the money for the surgery, paying extra for the nipple graft, and going through the painful surgery, your nipples will just.... fall off! Sometimes they won't heal correctly, or your body will reject them, and it wasn't even worth it in the end.
- There are plenty of reasons a trans person would opt for no nipples that doesn't have to do with unresolved body issues. There could be a trans man, who is poor, with no support from his family to help with payment. Then he finally saves up enough money to get top surgery, but he doesn't have enough for the nipple graft that may or may not even work. He would then most likely choose to not have nipples, which is fine.
Battle Axe bisexuals are cool as fuck
[âMany gay people will say that their families are âfine.â But when you ask for details, this means, basically, that the gay person has not been completely excluded from family events. Or that their partner, if they have one, is allowed in the house. Very few experience their personhood, lives, and feelings to be actively understood as equal to the heterosexual family members. Often parents or siblings keep the personâs homosexuality secret from others, or euphemize it. They vote for politicians who hurt gay people; they contribute to religious organizations that humiliate gay people; they patronize cultural products that depict gay people as pathological. They speak and act in ways that reinforce the idea of gay people as âspecial interest.â In many ways the message is clear that the gay person is not fully human. But because many gay people know others who have been more severely punished by their familyâs prejudices, they look on their own continued compromised inclusion to be miraculously positive and a product of their own correct behavior.â]
sarah schulman, ties that bind: familial homophobia and its consequences
There is really no solid determining factor to decide whether one is bi or pan.
When one tries to figure out if theyâre gay or straight, they try to figure out if theyâre attracted to men or women. They try to figure out what their biological attraction is.
There is no biological difference between bi and pan like there is gay and straightâbecause both bi and pan people are attracted to both sexes. The âI like all gendersâ argument only applies to those who believe in more than 2 genders. Even if you do believe in more than 2 genders, it is still sex characteristics that people are attracted to.
Plus, and Iâve said this before... âbisexualâ means âattracted to both sexesâ. Therefore pansexual would mean âattracted to all sexesâ. How many sexes are there? Two. Making pan and bi exactly the same at base level.
The âI donât have a preferenceâ argument is something bisexuals have repeatedly expressed as something bisexuals can experience too. The âI see hearts not partsâ argument has been rightfully criticized as something most people can agree with, and not a pansexual exclusive thing.
Every single way to determine if youâre pan or bi, is based on determining whether or not you fall into biphobic stereotypes and misconceptions. Those who fit them are bi, those who donât are pan.
Itâs equivalent to a homosexual man deciding heâs not gay, but something else, simply because heâs not hypersexual and wants to get to know his partners instead of having flings.
Tl;dr:
Pansexuality is not a unique sexuality. There is no way to differentiate it from bisexuality like we can differentiate homosexuality and heterosexuality, because pan and bi are biologically the same. The only difference between the labels is that one is based off of enforcing harmful stereotypes.
Logged in to find the notes filled with a self identified âqueerâ being wildly homophobic. What a surprise.
âiâm fluidâ - youâre bi
âiâm pansexualâ - youâre bi
âmy sexuality fluctuatesâ - youâre bi
âi like the label queer because itâs unlimitedâ - youâre bi
âidk I just like people regardless of their genderâ - youâre bi
Meme Made by My bestie đ
actually, the definition "bisexualily is attraction regardless of gender" has been around since 1976 !!
âComphet is bi/panphobicâ. Itâs one of the things Iâve heard people say.
Now people are just using those terms for anything they want. Doing that will only help you not being taken seriously.
Itâs not anyoneâs responsibility if you feel offended (which is just very ridiculous) about what other people experience with their sexuality.
Thereâs a difference in saying that all queer womanâs attraction to men is comphet and theyâre not really attracted to them and saying that comphet is something that happens exclusively to lesbians since we donât experience real attraction to men.
Comphet has nothing to do with your sexuality. If youâre not a lesbian and/or are not questioning whether youâre a lesbian or not, you shouldnât be offended by something that has nothing to do with you.
Just let lesbians whoâve stuggled with or currently struggle with comphet alone. Theyâre not bi/pan. Theyâre not saying comphet happens with every queer woman. Weâre simply just trying to share and talk about our own experiences without people being jerks about it.
change my mind: pansexuality is useless as a label and should not be used
any definition is either transphobic, biphobic, or exactly the same as bi