Sweet Seals For You, Always
Cosmic Funnies
RMH
One Nice Bug Per Day
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
No title available
The Bowery Presents
TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr
sheepfilms
Kiana Khansmith
noise dept.
Product Placement
Misplaced Lens Cap
occasionally subtle
izzy's playlists!
if i look back, i am lost
untitled
KIROKAZE
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
oozey mess
seen from United States
seen from Colombia
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Indonesia
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Denmark
seen from Venezuela
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Singapore
seen from France
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
@bitchblogsupreme
Nothing said by a parent is more insulting and soul crushing than "I never had/have to worry about you. I know you can take care of yourself." Like tell me you're a useless sack of absent parent WITHOUT telling me you're useless sack of absent parent.
I thought driving in Chicago was an absolute ridiculous nightmare but having now lived in Asheville for a year... Nothing is worse than driving on 26 through Asheville, nothing. When I dealt with it in the past I thought it was just a one-off but it's not It's consistently an absolute fucking nightmare.
Stopped at the Starbucks near my work because I'm a millennial with nothing to live for, a caffeine addiction, in healthcare. One of my barista besties is a 60 plus your old white woman who sasses me like no tomorrow whenever I roll up, hands me my drinks while I ask how she is. She looks me dead in the eyes and says, "The horrors persist but so do I. have a great day! " *Slams the window turnip earrings swinging* me *shocked Pikachu*
Actually your society is the freaks for shooting everything that moves and burning half your "nature reserves" every year so that upperclass dandies can eat leaded pheasant. North Americans are the well adjusted ones here, your country has become a desolate suburban lawn in island form
my opinion as an american is that we spend way too much time trying to save african megafauna and nowhere near enough time making fun of the english for turning an entire island--which was once a hazelnut food forest--into a goddamn lawn.
bill bryson once actually wrote down in a whole book and got published that the english were superb gardeners and i about threw the book out the window i was that outraged. the english!!! the fucking ENGLISH. them? that's who you want to laud? the english
the
THERE ARE A GRAND FUCKING TOTAL OF ZERO STAPLE CROPS ORIGINALLY OR EVEN PRIMARILY CULTIVATED BY THE ENGLISH. NONE OF THEM. NOT POTATOES NOT WHEAT NOT TURNIPS NOT RYE. THEY GNAWED THEIR ISLAND DOWN TO A NUB FOR NOTHING. THE WOLVES AND BEARS ALL GONE FOR NOTHING. THE WILDCATS AND BIRDS AND MUSTELIDS AND INSECTS, GONE IN THEIR THOUSANDS, FOR NOTHING. FOR SOME SHEEP. FOR
THEIR MAIN AGRICULTURAL EXPORT IS FAMINE
anyway the english approach to agriculture, biodiversity, and environmentalism is roughly on par with a dog's approach to someone else's homework and everywhere in the world that has inherited their cack-fisted disdain for nature has suffered immensely. i can't overstate enough how bad things have been and still are.
please make fun of them. it's the least they fucking deserve.
@roach-works I think you might be my hero for that one
in case you needed to hear it today:
it’s okay to use your turn signal when you’re changing lanes
it’s okay to use your turn signal when you’re taking an exit
it’s okay to use your turn signal when you plan on turning (can even be done sooner than 2 seconds before you’re about to turn)
you have a turn signal. in your vehicle. two of them in fact.
you are so brave and beautiful and smart and can do it. using your turn signal
it should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. like no i shut it off and back on again why are you still here
When are we going to stop pretending SPAM is good? And when the hell are we going to stop pretending SPAM musubi is a gift from the gods?
An underrated horse fact is that if you have horse that is both A. Not stupid and B. Likes you, it will actively try to prevent you from falling to your doom when you fuck up as a rider. Like actually make an effort not to drop you like a cell phone. I think horses deserve more credit for that.
My mum's favourite horse was a total bitch who hated everyone and everything except for playing polocrosse (she was a polocrosse horse). When she was on the field she'd do everything to win, including keeping a stupid rider properly seated no matter how bad at staying on they were, but the instant she was off the field all bets were off. Her favourite tricks included:
breathing in deep when being saddled for anything that wasn't a polocrosse game, so that the saddle straps will be loose and the rider will fall on their arse. This is a favourite trick of bitch horses and most horse people will check for it so it tends to fail.
biting people. Her name was Nipper, because she liked to bite people.
Doing the breathing trick, waiting for you to correct her and tighten the saddle, and biting you when you were distracted by that
stepping on your foot when you were leading her or standing with her. This wasn't being clumsy. She would step on peoples' feet on purpose.
standing behind you with her head over your shoulder watching stuff, then deciding she wants to watch over your other shoulder. When a horse wants to do this, they just lift their head up over yours; easy. Nipper would lift her head up over yours, then dip her head down halfway through to hit you on the head with her jaw.
chewing the fuck out of everything
chasing dogs, other horses, and small children (not in a 'let's play together' way, she found their fear amusing)
enticing people to hand feed her and then biting the hand that feeds her
She was always very careful never to hurt anyone more than a bruise but boy did she love giving those bruises. If you were in real danger (such as being pressed between two horses and risking being trampled), she would use her own body to protect you. And then bite you. But she'd play these stupid games constantly and then as soon as she was on the field it was like 'me and my rider are best friends, we are a TEAM that will WIN THIS GAME' and was totally trustworthy until the chukka was over. (Between chukkas, she was not trustworthy. I'd keep her warm between chukkas and she'd resent me because she wanted to be out on the field playing with the other horses, not doing something silly and pointless like 'take a few minutes at a slower pace so your stupid horse heart doesn't explode'. Between chukkas was prime Step On Derin's Feet time.)
These two older, fancily dressed ladies (60s/70s ish. Wisend seen some shit types) were walking to their seats at the play when the usher pointed out the hand rail was on the left. The older of the two thanked the kind young man and said "I could use a rail." And without missing a beat her friend says "Me too but prefer them 6 foot."
ASDFGHJKL!! In front of my salad Valerie?! You absolute fucking legend!
MY TONSILS ARE ITCHY
If you're ever curious if you can scratch your tonsils... I can safely tell you. Yes. Yes you can. Any garden variety chopsticks works wonders.
Now ask me if you SHOULD...
weird how no one ever comments on the absence of smells unprompted. the nose just isn't a topic of conversation unless it's urgent huh
"it's dark in here" normal regular observation
"finally some quiet" relatable exclamation
"doesn't smell like anything in here" absolutely deranged sentence
After my many years in the vet industry if I could give one bit of advice it is:
If you think you have your marijuana/THC products up secured somewhere your dog "definitely can't get to it".... You don't. I don't care what you say. I don't care where it is. If it is not physically LOCKED in something and you KNOW beyond the shadow of a doubt that it is IN FACT LOCKED... It's not somewhere they can't get to it. And they WILL get to it. They will eat it. And they WILL go on a terrible trip.
The second piece of advice is:
Just tell me your dog got into your electric lettuce. I don't give a shit. I know when you're lying to me You're not even the fourth person I've talked to TODAY that this has happened to. It will be better for LITERALLY everyone involved if that is the answer to what is causing these symptoms. LET ME SAVE YOU MONEY AND ME TIME. Please.
In light of recent events, an addendum: For the love of CHRIST please don't "self medicate" your dog with your cheap ass weed. It's not good for them, as a general rule of thumb.
ALSO IF YOU COULDN'T DEAL WITH A HYPERACTIVE MOP DESTROYING YOUR APARTMENT YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN A FARKING AUSTRALIAN SHEPHERD THUS RESULTING IN YOU FEELING THE NEED TO GIVE IT A PORTION OF THE DEVIL'S LETTUCE.
MY TONSILS ARE ITCHY
If I could have one wish...in the world, it would be to break every.single. LED headlight with a baseball bat, irreparably, so that they can never be replaced and blind me again.
Listen. If you want to see the fabled perfect synchronization of comrades in battle. The effortless cohesive teamwork of the famed swordsmen of old. Voiceless, instinctual communication of an elite battle tested unit.
You don't need to go to the volleyball courts of a highschool prefecture final. No need to venture to a modern day battle field. Heck you don't even have to go to the wavering bamboo forests of the Tang Dynasty .
Nono. Go sit in the lobby of a vet clinic and wait until Karen and Gary try to come for a staff member.
The coordination of the nursing staff, doctors and CSR... PRISTINE. Different team members stepping in, seemingly at random, to support and care for the comrade in the center of the shit storm.. An iron wall. NOT A HOLE IN SIGHT. NO CHINKS IN THIS ARMOUR SUSAN. They have their 6,12,4 and 9. Solid team work. Immaculate enough to make a SEAL team commander WEEP.
As someone who works w animals “animals are not mindless automatons, they actually do have feelings and individuality and are capable of feeling acute physical and emotional pain and of forming deep attachments with other animals and people” and “animals are not human infants and have a limited capacity to communicate with humans so you have to familiarize yourself with their boundaries bc if they feel threatened or overstimulated they will fall back on their basic instincts and if you fuck around you are going to find out” are statements that can and should coexist
After my many years in the vet industry if I could give one bit of advice it is:
If you think you have your marijuana/THC products up secured somewhere your dog "definitely can't get to it".... You don't. I don't care what you say. I don't care where it is. If it is not physically LOCKED in something and you KNOW beyond the shadow of a doubt that it is IN FACT LOCKED... It's not somewhere they can't get to it. And they WILL get to it. They will eat it. And they WILL go on a terrible trip.
The second piece of advice is:
Just tell me your dog got into your electric lettuce. I don't give a shit. I know when you're lying to me You're not even the fourth person I've talked to TODAY that this has happened to. It will be better for LITERALLY everyone involved if that is the answer to what is causing these symptoms. LET ME SAVE YOU MONEY AND ME TIME. Please.
