This is gonna be more of a rant. The Galaxy movie is baffling to me because (spoilers under the cut)
I was so convinced that they were going to adapt the ending of the game, where Bowser's galaxy generator implodes and becomes a black hole, swallowing up everything in the universe. Just when all hope is lost, the lumas sacrifice themselves by diving into the black hole, using their starpower to create a newer, better universe. It's emotional, it's a tearjerker, it's a freebie slam dunk for any movie to use.
What they came up with instead was this: instead of a galaxy generator, Bowser Jr. has built a giant planet-destroying cannon on Bowser Planet powered by Rosalina's life force. Peach saves Rosalina by touching hands and using their cosmic grass powers to break Rosalina's free and turn the planet green (???).
Rosalina's backstory is also rewritten. Instead of searching the cosmos with her lumas in search of a mother, she's Peach's long-lost older sister who had to send her away to evade Bowser's capture. I wasn't too upset about this change –– it had potential to also be pretty emotional –– except that it has no substance. Once they're reunited, Peach and Rosalina (who have been separated for up to two decades!) exchange ZERO lines with each other. They literally do not speak to each other for the remaining 5 minutes of the movie. During the scene where Peach explores the observatory and discovers her origins, I was so convinced that they would include a moment where Peach looks through the telescope (because it's an OBSERVATORY. REMEMBER?) and sees the Mushroom Kingdom, realizing that her older sister has been watching over her this whole time. All her life, she thought she was alone. But she never was.
By the way, the doomsday cannon never gets used. The movie spends multiple scenes hyping it up (Bowser Jr. even says he'll use it to blow up the Mushroom Kingdom); the fact that it's never even turned on feels like a joke. The easiest and most logical choice for Act 3 would've been Bowser Jr. pointing the cannon at the Mushroom Kingdom, raising the stakes and giving our heroes a ticking clock to beat the bad guys before their home is destroyed, a la Star Wars Death Star. I dunno why they didn't do that.
Overall, same issue as the first movie. No theme or character arcs, but somehow worse. Because at least the previous movie put some emphasis on Luigi becoming braver or Mario's resilience. In the Galaxy movie, the writers TEASE at a Bowser redemption arc, only to completely abandon it and back track:
There's a brief sequence in Act 2 where Bowser's freed and teams up with Mario and Luigi to escape a planet and get to Peach. In spite of Bowser and Mario's distrust of each other, the three end up bonding (Bowser and Luigi have a weekly book club together; Bowser kisses Mario on the lips). Bowser even sacrifices himself so Mario and Luigi can get to the Gateway Galaxy. It seems like after all the events of the previous movie, Bowser's genuinely made a connection with the bros.
But then, Bowser Jr. returns to rescue his dad. It's revealed that Bowser really neglected his son as a toddler because he was too focused on scheming to take over the world, even sending him off to boarding school. The only meaningful memories Bowser Jr. has were the bedtime stories his dad would read to him about ruling the universe together. Now, years later, the two are finally ready to reconnect and heal their relationship. Bowser Jr., having fixated on those bedtime story memories, is committed to winning his father's love by finishing what he started. Bowser, however, is conflicted. In a later action scene, Bowser is distressed and regretful when his son shoots down Mario and crew. His son scolds him for becoming attached to the enemy, who have corrupted him from his true purpose.
This all has the potential for a really great want vs. need arc. Bowser wants power and domination, but what he really needs is companionship and love. Romantic love from Peach, platonic love from the brothers, and familial love with his son, and he can only earn that by becoming someone WORTHY of loving. Bowser Jr. needs the same, but believes the only way to win his father's love is by hurting others, just as his father had taught him to do. But Bowser's changed. He has friends worth protecting now, while his son... doesn't.
Now we've teed up a GREAT emotional conflict. Bowser has to choose between his son, who he regrets abandoning, or his new friends, who have given him a second chance at life. What's more important to him? Meanwhile, Bowser Jr. has worked so hard to make his father proud, committing himself to a path of evil, only for his father no longer be the person he remembered. The climax could have been a big fight between father and son, both confused and hurt by who the other has become. It could have ended with Bowser telling Jr. that he doesn't need to rule the galaxy or hurt others to earn his love. That the only person he needs to be is his son. And here, the themes of redemption and second chances could've emerged. Hell, set their big confrontation during the doomsday cannon ticking clock. Make it so Mario and gang can't defeat Bowser Jr. and stop the cannon by fighting him; only Bowser can talk his son down and convince him that change is possible. Hell, tie these themes of familial trauma and healing with Rosalina and Peach's relationship and you've got yourself a SOLID screenplay. HELL, tie it into a climax where the lumas sacrifice themselves to birth a new universe you've got yourself a GREAT theme about second chances.
The movie doesn't do any of this. Instead, Bowser's pulled away from redemption and back to the side of evil by his son, then "dies" and turns into Dry Bones Bowser presumably forever. The movie even kinda pokes fun at how static he is. In Act 1, Bowser admits that he was a bad father. In Act 3, he recounts teaching his son to reject friends at boarding school and goes, "Wow, I am a great dad!" No reflection, no introspection, no change. It almost feels cynical, like the movie's theme is that people like Bowser CAN'T change.
That's what pisses me off so much about the Galaxy Movie, and why I don't accept the "It's a Mario movie. Were you really expecting a deep story?" defense. Because the bones of a deep story are THERE. 75% of what I've said so far are just SCENES FROM THE MOVIE. Part of the reason why I'm so disappointed is because I was CONVINCED the movie was gonna go down this direction because the set-ups were so OBVIOUS. I have never deflated so fast watching a movie when I realized all these beats were just wasted and abandoned for the sake of a purposeless 10-minute googoo gaga baby joke. The movie feels like it sprinted towards the finish line, exhausted itself, and then face-planted right before the end.
Again. HOW DO YOU SET UP A GIANT, PLANET-DESTROYING SUPER WEAPON AND THEN NOT USE IT FOR THE PLOT.
Star Fox was pretty awesome though.
