MUSINGS

poetry and journalling. I have a habit of saying the most direct thing in the most roundabout way possible.

[blackoceane]

I wouldn't treat a friend the way you treat me.

You keep on like this and you will be cut out.

[blackoceane]

I feel like I want to eat all the food. But I want to be thin. And every time somebody tells me to eat I do. Because my OCD now needs me to be the strongest not the thinnest. I just want to be wanted. Perfectionism means that I am never good enough. Can't he the best, can't be the smartest, could I be the thinnest? No. Could I be the strongest? No. That's not the path for me. I have no desire to be the smartest. Been there done that. And I hated life itself. I often dream I could be the most beautiful. Spending money on beauty treatments and physique training. Somehow the closer you get to your goals the more people ahead of you.

[blackoceane]

Maybe I just can't count the number of times today I have changed emotion. And maybe sometimes that makes me feel isolated. I am sorry. I do love you Even though you are okay and I am not

[betterstayabsurd-deactivated202]

[bemusedlybespectacled]

Gomez gives out better relationship advice than like 90% of dudes.

[obstinate-nocturna]

Gomez Addams is a suave motherfucker who loves his wife more than his own life.

Everyone should want a Gomez. He’s p cool.

[breelandwalker]

Gomez and Morticia Addams actually have a very loving and extremely healthy relationship, both in the old TV show and in the more recent movies. They were also one of the first television couples to be shown to have an active (albeit offscreen) sex life. Their frank attitude towards sexuality was shocking in its’ time, but their relationship and their family dynamic is actually more functional and more…dare I say it…sane than most families portrayed on TV.

The comedy in the show came from the family’s “odd” lifestyle, rather than from infighting and petty bickering, or worse, as was common on other shows of the time, thinly veiled references to spousal abuse. They didn’t make fun of each other or act like their children were creatures from another world. Were they strange and outside of social norms? Yes. Were they united in creating a loving home and being good, supportive parents? Absolutely.

These two support and adore their children, care for an aging mother and an estranged brother, put family before everything, and they love each other, wholly, fiercely, without reserve. They are every bit as much in love after at least a decade of marriage as they were the day they met.

Relationship goals. LIFE goals.

[avotica]

Just remembered in the second movie when their third child became “normal” for a period and although they were shocked and didn’t know how to handle it, they didn’t mistreat the child or love it any less. They accepted the difference, even though it was hard for them. 

[drnerdlove]

Reblogged for truth.

[franklyunfabulous]

❤️❤️❤️

[endreal]

Posts about Gomez and Morticia Addams are almost always uplifting and I’m happy to have them on my dash, but I think my favorite bit about this conversation is what Gomez is actually saying to Fester.

It’s nobody’s surprise that many of the aesthetic and thematic elements of The Addams Family in its various incarnations are influenced by Gothic tradition (not goth, that mostly came later. And not Goth, that was much much much too early), and I think Gomez’s words are a dead bullseye in terms of Gothic mentality.

“Make her feel like she’s the most sublime creature on earth”

The sublime is a recurring theme throughout Gothic literature. Although the word (like “awesome”) has lost a lot of it’s original luster over the intervening decades, sublime doesn’t really mean elevated and lofty (or even heavenly) as it’s often used today, but rather something possessing the power and grandeur to induce awe and veneration in the mind of the beholder. Although less than divine, something sublime possessed a wildness and power that transcended human ability to control…or even to comprehend.

Sublime is standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon leaning as far as you dare over the railing and still not being able to see the canyon floor below. Sublime is warrior-queen Galadriel being tempted by the One Ring. Sublime is waking up in the middle of the night in the heart of a wild thunderstorm.

“Make her feel like she’s the most sublime creature on earth”

Gomez isn’t advising Fester to treat a woman he fancies like a princess, or even elevate her to pedestal of angelic nature (who’s idea was it to equate femininity with purity anyway? What a laughable and historically damaging idea. Shame on whatever dead (probably) white dudes promoted that!)

Gomez is advising Fester that if he truly loves a woman he must do everything he can to remind her of how she’s an untameable force of nature who’s grandeur brings him to his knees in awe and terror. Just like Morticia, for Gomez.

I’ll sign off with one of my most favorite quotes of all time, because it feels suddenly very relevant:

“When I find myself surrounded by so much beauty, I feel as if I am the eye of a hurricane.”

- -Sanjay Kulkarni

[blackoceane]

I think one of the changing moments, Was the realisation that, I could choose to be in love with somebody good enough for me. Rather than choosing to be in love with somebody who isn't good enough. And that love isn't any less pure. It's probably just more sustainable.

[blackoceane]

My boyfriend went out to work and left me to sleep in his bed. I woke up before he returned to go to the bathroom. While I was in the bathroom. I heard his parents having sex. It reassured me yet again. That he is the one for me. And we will be together for a long long time. Because, sex is so important for me. And, I saw us, in 40 years. In our own big house. Making love. Not having sex. Not fucking. Oh dear God. I do love him.

[blackoceane]

Does anybody else just fear constantly for the lives of those they love?

Does anybody else just constantly wonder if that would be their last goodbye?

Could you live with yourself if that was it?

The end?

[princeturtogo]

I forgive you not because you deserve it, I forgive you because I desire to be free from the bondage of hatred. I forgive you because I don’t want the pain you’ve inflicted on me to affect me anymore. I forgive you because I deserve to be free. 

[blackoceane]

I can feel the ocd creeping back in. And I fucking love it. Is there any better feeling than placating a compulsion?

[blackoceane]

Sometimes it's hard to remember. That caring for somebody, Isn't telling them how far you'd move the sun to see them smile. It's moving the sun when they're not looking, Relishing in their grin. And letting them think the sun just decided to rise a little early today.

[blackoceane]

You make me sleep on the inside. I complain. But I like it really. It makes me feel so safe. My ex's had wanted to sleep on the inside. So when I kicked and fussed in my sleep. It wouldn't bother them. You want me on the inside. So when I kick and fuss in my sleep. It wakes you and you can help me. So you can save me. Look after me. Thank you Lovely

[blackoceane]

Please let you be my true love.

Because I imagine a wedding ring on your finger. I imagine children, And a kitchen. And breakfast in bed. Happiness, hope and honesty. I imagine never having to spend a night apart. Never having to leave your side. Getting to sleep in your arms every night. Every sleep.

I imagine you

Dear lord. I imagine us.

When you reached your arm down to me, Two weeks ago. The little bruise on your left ring finger.

I instantly saw the golden wedding band I would slip onto your finger as we marry. I don’t know.

That instant scared me. I don’t know.

I think we could do it.

I mean, I know I constantly say, I think I could be in love with anybody. But I think you’re right for me. I think we match. Not just in a chemical way. I think you’re good, and safe, and lucky.

I think we have so much fun together. No fear with you. No drama. No hate. There’s nothing about you’re personality or your appearance that disgusts me. Now this sounds like a stupid statement.

But I could not name one thing that you do that hurts me. You don’t hurt me. You don’t scare me.

These all sound like small things. But somebody that you like, romantically, as a friend and as a sexual partner. And somebody who cares for your body and your soul.

Falling in love with somebody who is good for you. And can continue to be good for you in the future is surely perfect.

[blackoceane]

Infatuation

I am very much infatuated by you. The subtle nuances in our romance. I am very much infatuated by you. In my sleep deprived state, I daydream of falling in love. Of living within your arms. I am listening to your music. And it makes me think of you. But more than makes me think of you. It makes me think of what we could become. You are far more romantic than you give yourself credit for. I am glad I am intense. And you are slow. I am very glad for that. Adoration comes so suddenly to me. Infatuation comes so suddenly and prominently. I listen to Bon Iver, and think of your smile. And your kisses. All of which leads me to thinking of the way you like to stare me in the eyes. I like the way you open yourself to me, Despite being a private person- I am also private. Despite this, You are open to the possibility of one day falling for me. But it's so silly, it's laughable. It's hilarious. My willingness to voice this romance, to vocalise it. My words always sound more intense than I mean them. But your words sound less romantic. I get sad. I misunderstand you. Then we're falling asleep and on comes a song. A sing you added to the queue to play to me. And I begin to sing along because I love this song. Vance Joy- Georgia. I tell you thank you for playing it because I love this song. You tell me that you listened to the whole album, whist you were studying. And that you couldn't stop thinking of me. Remembering me singing it to you. The first time you heard it. We both laughed. Perhaps, you remembered it because you remembered me desperately singing along. Despite forgetting half the words. Serenading you. I am very much infatuated by you sweetie pie. And I like this immensely. We sleep in spoons. Wrapped up in your arms. Until our bodies stick together with sweat. You snoring quietly, Me mumbling, emotionally. Dreaming of you. Asleep in your arms. Or, your chest and arms a perfect pillow. My nose and mouth just tucked off your body into your armpit. Smelling your warmth. I am very much infatuated by you. And the way you are. Means I am not so scared of this emotion. I will allow my infatuation to carry me. Carry me to making you fall in love with me. You look me in the eye while we have sex. You are less concerned with my body than my mind. No matter how much you like my body. You are quiet and shy. And like to listen to me talk. I like that you are so much more open to me this time around. Less shy of me. I can carry you, While you carry me. Hold me. Asleep in your arms. Very much infatuated.

[blackoceane]

When he can make you come in under 5 minutes just by fondling your nipples.

[blackoceane]

I recently started dating a guy, I have known him a couple of months. Never been dating for about 3 weeks of that. We got very high last night. And I dreamt while I was awake. I saw all the happy he gave me. All the happy colours, I felt the music he played. And I almost cried for the romance it made me feel. We had lovely long sex and I began speaking to you in Spanish as I orgasmed beneath your magnificent body. Ay Chico, mas, mas. Otravez. We slept, in each other's arms. You snored, And I spoke in my sleep. I spoke a weird mixture of Spanish, English and made up sounds and noises. I dreamt. I dreamt of you my dear. As I lay in your arms feeling my body against yours. I dreamt, of a time. With my friends. And a tiny baby. A tiny baby I very much loved. My tiny baby. The child was only a few weeks old, her small pink head, tiny fingers. Little dark eyes, unsure if they would become the brown of mine. Or the deep green of yours. Your child. Our child. I sat in a chair feeding my beautiful baby. Drawing crowds to see her tiny tiny fingers and face. Her beauty. As I help my tiny child close to my chest. The gaze fell upon my left hand. A small but beautiful engagement ring. "We have been married 4 months now". "Yes once we had settled into the idea that we would be having a lovely little family and our beautiful daughter. We decided to marry. The baby was unplanned. And we've been together less than a year but it's perfect. He's my rock and we're a family. It's all I wanted. He's a wonderful father and husband. He works hard to provide for the both of us and his and my family will help take care of us when I finish my maternity leave and start my PhD." I then had to run off to meet my husband. We had booked a hotel. Staying in this lovely little hotel where we could fuck loudly. Our baby being looked after elsewhere. He fucked me up the ass, and held my breasts tight as he came hard. Then we slept in each other's arms. Very happy with our lives. And in that moment. I awoke. And saw you in my arms. And I reminded my self of our life in my dream. The most glorious couple, beautiful with our baby. Dream couple. The envy of others. I want to see where things go with you. I want to adore you. And on the other hand, I am glad you take things slow. Because I am fickle and fast and intense. Thank you dear. I will love you. I will be good enough. And we will adore each other.

[blackoceane]

You're adorable darling.

[blackoceane]

Two planets now one

Our celestial bodies collide at great speed. Suddenly your rivers are crashing over my cliffs. Waterfalls nourishing the bone dry earth. Your fingertips inspect all my mountains and valleys. And my kisses leave a fine sheet of rain over your being. Refreshing the earth in time for the summer. These worlds encapsulated in fog, All I can see is your deep green eyes 3 inches above my face. Dark pools, for me to play in. All I can feel is this inferno burning within me, All I can hear is the gushing of waves, Meagerly broken by quickly silenced screams. Our oceans begin flowing as one. Salt from your body is salt from my body. A little planet now enveloped in your atmosphere, Allowing me to hold in the heat. I feel a peculiar mixture of protection and solitude while lying with you. Somehow I know I have no reason to fear anything. Not even the company of a near stranger. For by your side, I am alone. By your side, Is to be with myself. To be at one with myself. Once two small planets, Now just one beautiful fertile land. Lustrous with life. Flowers, water, green green grass. And happy silence.