Mermaids Are Flowering Plants: The Blog @endreal - Tumblr Blog

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So I noticed that your blog contains messages and it seems kinda like each one is part of a system of messages. I imagine sending those messages was important to you, and you seem like a really powerful tumblr user, so I was wondering... Is this a place of honor? Are there like, highly esteemed deeds and shit commemorated here?

Absolutely fucking not

chillyfeetsteak

wheeeeee wahooooo lalalala

violet-dragongirl

@endreal

syrenki

i went to the intersection of the sacred and the profane and everybody knew you

siri. ask alexa to google how to invent nail clippers again from first principles.

#I find great satisfaction in making posts that are meaningless

daveedmee

explosion at health potion factory 0 dead 0 injured

intactics

[showing up to the function unannounced in sunglasses and a driving hair shawl & gloves & a trenchcoat & high heels with a frantic persecuted air] no darling of course I wanted to come to your little shindig last week but I just had to get out of town, you understand [taking a long hard drag of a ridiculously thin cigarette and getting lipstick on the filter] I had a popular post going around

#...again

comikbook

me coming on tumblr dot com telling people to send me asks

siderealglimmer

The Universe decided to nerf me today, with Curse of Flat Tire. I took a bunch of pictures, intending to post a How To Change Your Tire tutorial, but now I’m hot and…tired. Hah.

Here are the pictures with some basic tips, but this is by no means a complete tutorial.

If at all possible, get somewhere safe and comfortable! Flats do not happen conveniently in have had them happen on off-ramps in winter, gravel lots, on hills (if you are on a hill, find somewhere flat/level to work!!!). Today, to my dubious luck, it happened while pulling into a parking lot, and I was able to choose a space that had a spot of shade where I was going to have to work.

Put your emergency brake on. This is important just like working in a flat spot. The LAST thing you want is for the car to roll off the jack.

Gather your stuff! My car has a special nut called a wheel lock. (Those five little shiny round things around the middle of the hub are the nuts. They are little caps with screw threading inside that screw onto bolts that stick through the wheel to hold it onto the vehicle). The wheel lock is a special cap that goes over the nut, otherwise it can’t be gripped and turned. It is for theft prevention. Not every vehicle has it. If yours has it, hopefully your wheel lock is in the glove box, which is where I keep mine in the original package, as shown.

I also always keep some kind of blanket in my trunk - the one shown is a waterproof pet blanket. Excellent if you have to kneel on wet ground. It was very handy on the pavement, which was warm even in the shade.

Additionally you need a jack. Most cars come equipped with a little jack kit and some kind of spare. Mine in the trunk under the floor. There’s a styrofoam tray that holds the tools, and then the donut. Some vehicles have a full size spare. I have a donut, which is a smaller spare. It has speed limits printed on it. It is NOT for highway or long distance driving, it is meant just to limp you along to where you can get a proper tire put on.

The jack is typically a weird diamond-shape frame with a flat base, and a flat top with grooves facing upward. If you get down to look under the edge of your car near the tire, you can see a part of the frame that is visibly reinforced. Mine is indicated with little notches. You’re gonna line it up so the grooves will fit onto the frame BETWEEN - not ON - the hitches when you raise the jack.

Is your car emergency brake on? Double check. Good.

When you place your jack under the car, it has a loop that sticks out one end. That’s the part you need to turn to raise the jack, make sure it is pointing out from under the car. You can twist it by hand to raise the jack a little bit, to get the grooves settled around the frame point.

Once your jack is in place, now you can raise it properly. This is one of the physically intensive parts of the process. But you don’t have to do it fast.

Jacks usually have one or two pieces that will attach to the loop - some have a single piece that is a double L-bend with a hook at one end. Mine has a straight rod with a hook, and then the tire iron (the straight piece with the knobby cup past the curve at one end) that fit together. The hook goes into the loop on the jack. The iron slots onto the other end. Then I crank them, one turn at a time.

With each turn the jack raises a little. You can tell when it starts lifting the car because it suddenly gets harder to turn. Sometimes things creak as you go. It’s okay. You’re literally lifting n the car. It’s changing what is taking weight, so there will be noises. Take your time, take breaks.

Stop periodically and check if the tire is still in contact with the ground. You can belly down to eyeball it if you want. I usually just see if I can sweep my fingers u see the bottom of the tire or not if I can, we are sufficiently lifted.

You do NOT need to raise the jack to its full possible height. You don’t WANT to do that. The jack at its full height is not nearly as stable. You just want the tire to clear the ground.

Now you need your tire iron. You saw mine in the previous picture - the rod with the bend and the knobby cup at the end. Other tire irons are shaped like a big T or X and have multiple cup ends, usually different sizes. Either kind is fine, as long as it fits you nuts. *snicker*

Remember I mentioned the nuts and the wheel lock? In the pic above you can see both. The next part is the other most physically intensive part imnsho, and also the scariest for le moi. It is called breaking the nuts. *cacklecackle*

You’re going to fit the tire iron onto one of the nuts so the handle is horizontal. If you have just a bar like mine, horizontal to the left. Then you are going to put pressure on it toward the ground. (If you have the x style, you are going to out the downward pressure on the handle sticking out to the LEFT side.) we are loosening the nuts. Lefty-loosey.

The only way I am ever able to manage this? Is by standing on it.

So I fit the iron onto the nut, put my foot on it, and steady myself by holding the car. The. I raise myself up like I’m going to stand on the iron, line I’m climbing a stair or a ladder rung. Sometimes I have to bounce on it to put more pressure than just my body weight. Then it will give, and your foot will slide down to the ground as the handle turns to face the ground.

It can be startling, but now you know it’s coming, and that makes it easier to handle.

You’re going to do this to every nut - and you want to do it in a star pattern. Here is a silly doodle to show what I mean

Whatever but you start with (I usually start with the upper left) get it loose and then skip to the nut two nuts away. Get it loose and skip to the next one two nuts away. Then again, to the one just after the original nut. Then the last nut.

Just break each one. Then keep following this pattern to loosen them, a few turns at a time. Toward the end, the bottom of the tire is going to try to sag out toward you - just push gently in with your hand and keep going. It isn’t going to fall, but it will put pressure on the nuts and make them harder to turn. You don’t need that shit, this is already enough of a task.

Eventually the nuts will pop off. Usually they gently stick inside the tire iron and you can dump them out next to you on the blanket. They might fall. It’s okay. They won’t get hurt. Just grab ‘em and make your pile, five nuts that might include a wheel lock.

Now you’ve got the tire chilling on those five threaded bolts. You’re going to grip it however works for you, give it just a little hoist so it doesn’t drag on the bolts, and hoist it off. You can let it immediately down. It can fall over. You can kick it if you want, but don’t break your toes. You need those, and you’re already dealing with enough.

Now you get to put your tire or donut on! You will lift it enough to line up the bolts with the holes. It should only go on one way. With the donut, the stickers should face you/out. With a full size spare, you wanna be able to see the air valve facing you not the car.

Once it’s on the bolts? The nuts go back in. It does not matter which nuts go in which bolts.

You’ll do the same star pattern you did when you removed them, first getting them finger tight, and then snugging them more firmly using the tire iron. Do the snugging with the iron a few times times, because each time you do the tire shift a little bit, and you want to make sure you don’t have loose spots.

Once all five nuts are back in, retrieve your wheel lock if you have one. Put it back in its package, and put that on your passenger seat or in the glove box - the people at the tire place you’re probably going to next are going to need it to get the spare off and the new tire on.

Roll your old tire to the trunk or back seat. They need the middle part of the wheel to put the new tire onto. They’ll get rid of the old one for you; there may be a fee.

Whatever you did to raise your jack, do the same thing in reverse to lower it again. As you crank it down, especially as the spare takes weight, there will probably be creaky noises again. It’s okay. You’re doing great. When the jack is out of contact with your vehicle, you can pull out out again.

Give your nuts one more snug *bwaaaaaahahahahahahaaaa* and then pop your jack and tools back in the trunk.

Then you can find a place to get a new tire. Hopefully yours are easier to track down than mine 😅

And before you try to go anywhere?

Release the emergency brake.

need to refresh the coins I carry in my bag - I used 0.56 at the supermarket yesteday so now there's only 0.43 left

a-book-of-creatures

Is it socially acceptable to use opaque watercolors, or is that considered gouache?

endreal

obligatory 6-week selfie. freshened up and sweating like a pig glistening with ætheric essence. and aggressively backlit because I'm a numpty who accidentally decided to face east during evening light.

...again.

((#agender | they/he/she | okay to reblog))

it's been a hot minute since I did a SDS, so let me tag @saint-batrick @saint-espeon @megafaunaofficial @quannaix @methclub-qnlcytew @tromboneralert @theinsidiousdice @sirhro and @sirsamspade in case any of y'all want to continue the chain. I also shadow-tag anyone else who sees this and wants to play - if you have a face we love to see it!

definitely-not-lordenglish

Starting a collection

definitely-not-lordenglish

home-and-having-tea

what-even-is-thiss

What would a Yankee Candle go for in ancient Greece?

tbh the most confusing thing about it to them would probably be the glass that the candle is contained in. They might try to buy information about glass from you.

what-even-is-thiss

Yeah basically

what-even-is-thiss

Yeah I should’ve clarified (pun intended). They had glass in the ancient world especially in Rome and Egypt but it was basically super heated sand and color additives put in a mold and often looked opaque and kinda lumpy. Even if it was blown like it was in some regions it wouldn’t have looked like modern glass.

Clear blown glass like you’d see a modern scented candle contained in wasn’t invented until the late Middle Ages and certainly wasn’t mass produced until the 1500s and even then places like Venice that had knowledge of these techniques literally forbid their glassmakers from leaving their city or region so other people couldn’t make it, forcing artificial scarcity and making it a very expensive material.

So if you showed a yankee candle to an Ancient Greek, especially one from a city or something, they’d be like burning scented wax okay not something I’d do but it makes sense. Also how the fuck is that glass transparent.

what-even-is-thiss

Like imagine if someone brought you something weird but understandable contained in a material that they said was made out of wood and you could tell that it’s clearly made out of wood they’re not lying about that but it was also completely transparent and see through with no visible flaws. That’s about the level of weird we’re talking about here.

animnightmare

It isnt flawless, but transparent wood does already exist actually

what-even-is-thiss

What the fuck I feel like a medieval peasant seeing an iPhone

lioness--hart

How to tell people I'd never advocate for stopping innovation and technological progress, I'm only trying to get people to take a 30,000 foot view of whatever new thing is making stars in everyones eyes and maybe do a cost benefit analysis more complete than "how much can we afford number go down before it goes up" without sounding like a fucking insane Luddite

yojfull

Mostly I'm coming around to the point of view that the Luddites had some very good points about how technology was going to disrupt society in harmful ways and that some consideration for secondary and tertiary consequences is important.

Right now, everything leads back to more and more and more power demand, including the supply chain to generate power in the first place.