If I'm your salvation Welcome to hell

Caitlin. I'm 25 and I like waffles. “You know, life fractures us all into little pieces. It harms us, but it's how we glue those fractures back together that make us stronger.” -Carrie Jones  ask / shit I like / moose /...

[starryeyesxx]

[oliviadumhan]

my female role model? the t rex from jurassic park. she just screams and eats. that’s a mood babey

[lifeofaliceai]

[buffyblog]

The birth of Spuffy 

[tinsnip]

Adulthood appears to be comprised mostly of:

1. sore back

2. kinda tired

3. i can do what the fuck i want~~~

3a. but mostly i’m too sore

3b. and too tired

[thetrekkiehasthephonebox]

4. bills

[rhube]

5. anxiety

[kingjaffejoffer]

[1dietcokeinacan]

He’s so flappy…….this made me cry

[ruby-white-rabbit]

There’s a turtle in my yard laying eggs

This bitch really gonna dump her kids on me and vamoose

I’m not ready to be a single mom

I know shit about reptiles

[ruby-white-rabbit]

I had to put a stick next to the nest because she decided the MIDDLE of our yard was the primo spot to give birth

Mowing is gonna be interesting this summer

[ruby-white-rabbit]

Meet the mother leaving her wildlife progeny under my city girl care

[ruby-white-rabbit]

I’m googling turtles right now. I sent photos to my southern stepmom for help. Apparently she’s a box turtle?

[ruby-white-rabbit]

70 DAYS UNTIL THEY HATCH??

[timesalad]

You a mom now

[ruby-white-rabbit]

Text from stepmom “watch out for foxes, cranes, raccoons, and snakes. They’ll eat the eggs so chase them off”

I’m gonna fistfight nature

[ruby-white-rabbit]

@mrswinterbarnes you’re not wrong. When I came back from closing the barn doors she was gone. Nowhere in sight. I thought turtles were supposed to be slow

I was gone maybe ten minutes so first off, not even a goodbye??

[mrswinterbarnes]

I don’t think Box turtles return to their nest either, so until they hatch and dig out

YOU GONNA BE A MOMMA

[ruby-white-rabbit]

DAMN IT SHARRON

First that bird makes its nursery in my bike basket on our porch and now this

Why am I becoming a wildlife nanny??

[ruby-white-rabbit]

UPDATE

SHES BACK

[ruby-white-rabbit]

NEVERMIND

ITS A DIFFERENT TURTLE

That’s two deadbeat turtle moms dropping their spawn on me

[odinspattern]

Call this one Susan

[smalltall]

You’re like a really ticked-off nature witch who never signed up for this animal empath shit

[unclefather]

[whitepeopletwitter]

Truth

[uwukiri]

Pardon my French, but you are being a douchebaguette

[abilify-deleted-deactivated2017]

if you wake up while McDonald’s is still serving breakfast then you’re doing good

[homophu-deactivated20180101]

doesnt mcdonalds have all day breakfast now?

[tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020]

if you wake up at all then you’re doing good

[great-tweets]

oof.

[theoldness]

bitch…omg

[spock-ho-deactivated20170609]

omfg

[elpiso]

slam me in that Showert Deluxe… get me an omniwash™

[tiqerboy-archive-blog]

this is a carwash for people

[8bitnatsuki-deactivated20200525]

I hear if you turn them all on at once you can use the water pressure to glitch past the boss room

[riddlemetom]

[classichorrorblog]

Beetlejuice Directed by Tim Burton (1988)

[bufflehanearchive]

[sexemulators]