Achilles: Sorry guys, I can't go. Stress is bad for the baby.
Odysseus: What baby?
Achilles: Me.
will byers stan first human second
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
wallacepolsom

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if i look back, i am lost

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trying on a metaphor
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macklin celebrini has autism

#extradirty
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@iliadsmorons
Achilles: Sorry guys, I can't go. Stress is bad for the baby.
Odysseus: What baby?
Achilles: Me.
Thanatos: Maybe dogs lick us so much because they know there are bones beneath our skin.
Hades: Ooohhhhh!
Hecate, to Persephone: This is the worst one by far.
Persephone: *nods in agreement*
can we stop only blaming british people for colonialism and how they don’t take any responsibility today? because hi, spain massacred the entire center and south america. france? destroyed entire civilizations and ruled the worldwide slave market. european countries literally sat down and divided africa to themselves. y'all don’t get blame free just because it’s more trendy to be after british people on tumblr.
As a Brit, I heartily agree. The sins of our ancestors shouldn’t wash down to us. Otherwise you may aswell call me a murdering monster because I’m descended directly from Irish tribes that pillaged and murdered. Let’s not forget if you’re also Christian and saying this, then you’re happily ignoring the crusades.
That is not what OP is saying. Britain’s crimes are better known because they conquered more and Tumblr is overwhelmingly an English-language site. Britain’s imperial past touches most of us on a fundamental level.
Spain, France, Portugal, Germany, the Netherlands, Japan, Canada, Russia, less so. You may not even be familiar with Denmark’s colonies or what the US did to Hawai'i. People in my country were shocked by King Leopold’s Ghost and we had some of the most brutal generational chattel slavery.
It isn’t really about “your ancestors did evil shit”. That’s pretty universal. It’s “you and your country benefits from and/or have failed to acknowledge that evil past”. It’s the Koh-i-noor and residential schools, making reparations for the Holocaust but not Namibia. It’s Eurocentric beauty standards and skin bleaching, the destruction of indigenous languages and cultures, the robbing of generations of wealth, and genocide. This stuff still affects people today. Africa and Central and South America would look wildly different if colonialism had never happened. Central Asia is still dealing with the fallout of the Soviet Union. Millions of people were slaughtered and enslaved around the world up until modern times.
People need to understand it wasn’t just Britain and Spain and the US and it wasn’t some distant past. There are countries that only achieved independence within living memory. Millions of indigenous peoples still have to heed colonial oppressors. Wealth is gone that colonial powers haven’t returned.
Also, many, many people have talked about how devastating Christian imperialism is in particular. The Crusades were horrifying. And idiotic. And Christianity is at the absolute center of European colonialism. God, glory, and gold, remember?
Achilles: Since I'm gonna be gone for a while, I've left a complimentary bowl of advise.
Achilles, picking a paper out of the bowl: For example, 'Agamemnon, stop doing that' applies to everything.
Menelaus: Will you do anything for me?
Agamemnon: Of course.
Menelaus: Can you get up and get me some water?
Agamemnon: Go d i e
Paris: *flirts with Helen*
Menelaus: *staring at them silently*
Agamemnon: You're really quiet today, Menelaus.
Menelaus: *still staring* Nobody plans a murder out loud.
Diomedes: Hey, Ody, wake up.
Odysseus: Hmm? What is it?
Diomedes: When Donkey asks Shrek what his name is in the first movie, Shrek hesitates before answering and doesn't sound sure of himself when he says that his name is Shrek. What if it's not actually his name? In the third movie he says his parents tried to eat him, it doesn't sound like they gave him a name. What if he just made Shrek up on the spot because he didn't want to admit to Donkey that he doesn't actually have a name?
Odysseus: ... Diomedes, it's three in the morning.
Clytemnestra: *hugs Agamemnon*
Agamemnon: What is this?
Clytemnestra: Me showing my love for you???
Agamemnon: Disgusting.
Clytemnestra: *moves away from him*
Agamemnon: I did not tell you to stop.
Achilles: Stressed.
Odysseus: Depressed.
Agamemnon: Obsessed.
Diomedes: Blessed.
Patroclus: Impressed.
Menelaus: Chicken breast.
Patroclus: ...What?
Menelaus: I just wanted to join in.
Achilles: *coughing violently*
Agamemnon: Don't die
Achilles: dOn'T TeLl mE wHaT tO dO-
Menelaus: Well, I never thought I’d say this, but I think I know what’s going on in your head.
Agamemnon: Oh, well, then, welcome to the terror dome.
Achilles: *is disappointed*
Patroclus, annoyed: What did you think a tiger shark was, Achilles?
Achilles: Perhaps I will drink my sorrows away.
Achilles: *takes a sip from his capri sun*
Patroclus: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the stuff you've lost throughout your life.
Agamemnon: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back.
Achilles: Oh wonderful, my childhood innocence! Thanks for finding this!
Odysseus: My will to live, I haven't seen this in 15 years!
Diomedes: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
Ajax: Mental stability, my old friend!
Patroclus: Guys could you lighten up a little?
Achilles: I think I'm in love with you...
Patroclus: What do you mean you think? I’m a god damn miracle. You should know you’re in love with me.
Diomedes: I know you don't like that shirt but I can pull it off.
Odysseus, mumbling: oh my god please do
Diomedes: What?
Odysseus: What?
[In bed]
Patroclus: Do you love me?
Achilles: Yeah.
Patroclus: Would you do anything for me?
Achilles: Of course.
Patroclus: Will you get up and get me a glass of water?
Achilles: Go die.