🎵BOBBLEHEAD PERRY THE PLATYPUS‼️

lizzie // any pronouns // mostly dwampyverse but i reblog other stuff sometimes. for funsies :)

[fur-bee]

[stephexmachina]

proposing a new genre of fiction called an anti-romance where u r presented w a couple at the start & the story is about their emotional journey towards a catastrophic break up

[stephexmachina]

will they won't they (end this farce). there's only one bed (but for some reason they don't really want to share it). out of context eavesdropping (that paints the relationship in a better light than it deserves). chasing after them to stop them getting on that plane (and stopping them from finally being free)

[stephexmachina]

nobody understands my vision i don't mean any old story where a relationship fails and it's tragic or w/e i mean a story where the intention is for the audience to root for it failing the same way u root for it succeeding in a romance. & when the relationship finally implodes at the climax of the story it's all very cathartic & everybody cheers.

[stephexmachina]

like have u never wanted a fictional couple to break up so badly it hurt?

[not-a-choice]

Beautiful lyrics from the mountain goats as always

[blahblahblah2cargarage]

watched wicked the other day with a friend who’s obsessed with it and she told me she didn’t think glinda and elphaba were gay. like at all. i didn’t know there was a breed of person like that

[krasnoarmeyets-deactivated191907]

i bet it feels good as fuck to intend to do something and then actually do it

[lemonsweet]

Any time a customer is telling me a story and I can't understand them/what they're talking about and I'm just nodding and agreeing and looking interested I think of this gif

[blahblahblah2cargarage]

i miss dakavendish

[blahblahblah2cargarage]

highway to heaven is truly just some shitty 80s show but like if you think about the concept for more than 5 seconds it will drive you insane.

like imagine you die. you wake up in heaven and you’re told you haven’t earned a spot there, that you need to be put on probation and be sent back down to earth. so you go back down with a different face and a different name and you’re not allowed to see the wife and daughter you left behind because God himself is speaking in your brain and telling you what to do. and you spend the next 30 years wandering around, alone, trying to help people, and at some point you get used to the supernatural things you can do now, and you start to recognize yourself in the mirror again, and you start responding to Jonathan instead of Arthur. and you’re not really sure when Jonathan became you. and after 30 years of faces passing you by, you meet a man who has his life changed by you and then decides to stay. and he does stay, for years, and he drives you around the country and he complains to you and he complains about you and he tries to convince you to eat and suddenly you have more substance in your life than a single-minded mission. you make other friends and he gets you into all kinds of trouble and he makes up stupid terms like “the boss” and “the stuff” but you never had words for those things before because you never had someone to talk about them with. and the two of you are complete opposites in every way but somehow he completes you. and you expect me not to go crazy

[divorce-enjoyer]

ice water is awesome because you get more water in your water

[divorce-enjoyer]

you think youre out of water but then you check back in five minutes and woah! theres more water! the world is so beautiful

[disgruntled-neighborhood-wife]

People who think sheep are killed for their wool are so hilarious to me. Does your barber slit your throat whenever you get a haircut?? Are you a returning customer to Sweeney Todd? Lmao it grows back, fools.

[squareallworthy]

This is completely ignoring the fact that the sheep's soul is stored in its wool. So sure, the body remains, but the spirit, the essence of the sheep, that's gone forever, and then as the wool regrows a new soul moves in.

[storm-of-feathers]

What

[shadow-banned-the-hedgehog]

Same for me, I get a new soul with every haircut. That's why my personality changes so much.

[ovenroastedtwerkey]

Tumblr citizenship means being completely unsure if the person posting about sheep souls is being 100% serious or is just taking the piss.

[yoinky-sploinky]

THEY TAKE THEIR PISS TOO?!?!?

[ovenroastedtwerkey]

Yup, stockpiling it in giant buckets to pour on the poor

[unyieldingsilence]

‎

[evil-genius-shark]

Good post everybody

[skippydamnit]

first dwampyverse yuri btw

also awwwhhhh oh my god my baby my baby boy bhes so sad im gonna hug him so tight rn

[skippydamnit]

spanish explorer milo ...

[dudetorchkovsky]

There's another 104 days of summer vacation⭐️

My Telegram

[phinjeet]

* yas bitch slay

[blahblahblah2cargarage]

do you guys think cavendish ever killed himself. do you think dakota had to go back over and over to try to talk him out of it, or take away his methods of doing it, or keep him from seeing whatever it was that pushed him over the edge. do you think when it finally worked, cavendish never thought that dakota knew he even considered it, and neither of them ever brought it up again. do you think dakota still keeps a watchful eye on cavendish when he’s not looking. do you think he panicked when his partner disappeared, fearing the worst and knowing that there wouldn’t be any second chances this time.

[tealornoteal]

domestic majyor doodles because i need to draw them to survive

[lesvegas]

you can only reblog this if you're not racist

[towerologia-sideblog]

huge coming from the site who is so against black art that 'tumblr users are afraid of rap' has been a meme for the best part of a decade. You know that yall are 4channers with pronouns right?

[lesvegas]

addendum: you can only reblog this if you're not racist part 2

[automatonwithautonomy]

i love when milo murphy's law introduced two characters that are like. here's two time travelling agent partners sent from the future to protect pistachios. one of them is uptight and the other is go-with-the-flow :) they're fun little guys :) also the uptight guy keeps dying and his partner keeps breaking the laws of time to save him, thereby leaving a redundant version of himself who has to go to an island filled with his other alternate timeline selves to live in exile. they're fine with this because it mean their partner is alive and somewhere, sometime one of them gets to spend time with him. aren't they silly :)