“it’s impossible for you to get over him. even if, he himself, was impossible.”
park jimin was your neighbour, your friend and your classmate. you knew him for over a year after his family decided to move into the house next door. from then onwards, you loved him.
jimin was not only your crush, but also your study buddy. you’re parents grew pretty close after the move and decided to set you and him up for a study ‘date’ every once in a while.
of course, jimin didn’t mind this. he was good at almost every subject so the time went by no problem, but unfortunately for you, it did not. you constantly worried if you got the wrong answer or even worse, didn’t understand the question. you were so scared jimin would pick up on your stupidity and pick on you for it. but he never did, he just corrected you and you went on with your studying.
another study date is set up for tonight, you and jimin are studying chemistry which is actually one of your good subjects. you were in a good mood for tonight and started revising before jimin even got there, just so you would know everything and be able to pay attention to him. gosh, he was perfect.
you bounce towards your kitchen to collect some crisps for jimin since he offered you some in his house last time. you opened the big packet and poured them into a bowl before popping the same packet back into the press. you grab a few coke cans just in case and start the walk back up the stairs.
it was 17:15, 15 more minutes until jimin arrived.
you place the food on your desk neatly and start the swipe the crumbs off of your fingers until you see jimin’s figure leaving his house, you note his smile. you can’t help but smile .
but your smile disappears once you see a girl from your school leave his house whilst holding his hand, staring at him lovingly. your heart drops instantly. you never imagined be with jimin but it still hurt to see him together with someone, especially since you knew the girl.
you sit down in your desk chair in disappointment and stare at the crisps. you pick up one and pop it into your mouth, your hand lazily falling by your side. you tilt your head back, not in the mood for a study date, nevertheless see jimin.
the doorbell rings and you hear your mother answering it. “jimin!” she shrieks with happiness, your whole family was quite fond of jimin actually. it was like he was your brother, a really really hot brother.
“good morning, ms l/n.” jimin politely greeted your mother. she loved that. jimin was a charmer, you always knew he’d find someone. then it hits you again, his girlfriend.
“is y/n upstairs?” jimin asks, the sound of his shoes enters the house as you think he shuts the door behind him, since he always does.
“yes, i don’t know why she didn’t come down. she seemed so happy a minute ago.” your mother says and jimin chuckles effortlessly. your chest tightens hearing it.
“okay, thank you.” jimin adds as you hear his shoes run up the stairs. you sit up quickly, rubbing your eyes from the tears of disappointment and pretend to study.
a knock appears on your door and you murmur a small ‘come in’, your voice is choked back from the sadness. you turn and see jimin smiling with his bright pink hair. he was wearing black jeans and a blue sweater that was paired with a small cold train that laid effortlessly on his chest. you smile up at him.
“you’ve started without me?” jimin joker before he closed the door and sat down beside you, you pulled over your stool from the corner of your room for him. his eyes light up at the sight of his favourite crisps and pops one into his mouth before opening his little backpack he brought with him, taking out his books.
“oh, here,” his voice catches your attention but as you turn, jimin holds out a gift for you. it’s a white box wrapped in a red ribbon. you take it with two hands, surprised.
“where did this come from?” you asked lolly at it closely. jimin chuckled and pointed at one of the ribbons and gestured for you to pull it. you do and it unwraps itself to see a gold chain with the word ‘hope’ spelt out. you can’t help but smile.
“it’s for our one year anniversary of our study dates,” jimin adds before you can speak. you look up at him and remember the date, it reallt was. you hug him, softly not wanting to be weird or anything.
“jimin, you really didn’t have to.” you tell him as you continue to thank him. your heart sinks when you realise you hadn’t gotten him anything.
“if i knew we were exchanging gifts, i would’ve got you something.” you tell him. jimin shakes his head.
“it’s only because i know you have your college entrance exam soon, and i want you to wear this, okay?” jimin adds making your heart flutter, even if he was your big fat crush, he was still a caring friend.
you can’t help but hug him again. you take the chain out of he box and run your fingers over the gold material. jimin stands up and walks behind you, he holds his hand out and you give his the necklace. he wraps it around your neck before fastening it at the crook of your neck. he sits back down and looks at you.
“beautiful.” he almost whispers, you swallow deeply. he turns to the desk and picks up his pen, searching through the text book.
the study date goes as planned, no more surprises from jimin, thank god. you wouldn’t think you’d survive if there was any more.
“so what’s going on in your life?” jimin asks as you reach the end of your ‘date’.
“not a lot, studying i suppose?” you chuckle as so does jimin.
“what about you?” you ask, expecting to hear about his new girlfriend but he hesitates.
“i- i know this girl.” jimin tells you but your heart sinks, knowing that you’ll have to pretend to be the caring friend and help him with his girl problems. not that you didn’t care.
“oh? do tell.” you add with a smirk but jimin sits up and stares into the corner of your wall with a ‘hm’ noise.
“she’s really nice and cute.” jimin tells you.
“i haven’t known her long, and she’s perfect for me,” jimin continues to drool over his new girlfriend, you don’t notice that your smile as dropped until jimin looks at you with confusion. you smile back and tell him to continue.
“and...” jimin trails off as you bite your inner cheek and brace yourself for a fuck ton of pain. but it never comes, considering the shouts of your mom downstairs pulls his attention away.
“jimin! don’t you have dance?” your mother asks, she almost memorises his routine. jimin’s eyebrows raise as he goes to collect his stuff in a hurry. he quickly grabs his textbooks and shoved them into.
“i’m really, really sorry.” he adds before standing up. you stand up also, and shake your head.
“you don’t need to apologise, and thank you very much for the gift.” you remind him, smiling at his blushing red cheeks in embarrassment.
you both say your goodbye’s at your front door before jimin rushes towards his bus stop, smiling and waving at you as he does, always. you can’t help but forget his girlfriend, and imagine him and you. god, it seemed impossible.
after dinner, your mother decided to speak to you about your neighbour.
“jimin’s pretty cute, right?” she insists, dragging the brush across the floor. you look up from your place on the couch at her.
“yeah, i guess.” you tell her, trying to steer yourself away from the subject she brought up. your mother doesn’t note the hint.
“so—“ she stops herself when she sees your new necklace from him. she gasps.
“y/n! it’s gorgeous, come over here.” she insists, gesturing for you over to her. you don’t know what she means until she’s holding the present in her hand, her fingers caressing ‘hope’ spelt out in gold.
“oh yeah, jimin gave it to me.” you told her as her eyes light up. you knew how happy she’d be to have jimin as a son in law, he was perfect and polite, practically the perfect son.
“it’s to help me through my exams.” you say quietly, your voice pulled back as you fiddle with the chain below your chin.
you look back up and see the smile that rests on your mother’s face, pride. you fake a smile for a second, knowing that things weren’t what she thought they were.
“i’d say jimin really likes you, y/n.” she says, resting on her stood up broom, dazed at the gift. you advert your eyes to the ground.
“he really doesn’t.” your voice is smaller this time, could be considered sad. your mother scoffs at your words.
“what do you mean? he got you a necklace!” she exclaims back and you smile at her enthusiasm.
“trust me, he doesn’t.” you murder your last words before walking back upstairs.
you close your bedroom door, after you do, your back hits the wooden frame, sinking down to the floor in defeat. you bring your hands up to your face, rubbing your swollen eyes. you imagined how things could be different, if you hadn’t looked outside at that exact moment, you might’ve missed the romance and be happily oblivious to it.
if that was the case, right now you’d be smiling uncontrollably on your bed, staring up at your ceiling with pure happiness.
but you’d had to find out sometime, nothing stays a secret forever. not even with jimin.
whilst wallowing in self pity, a knock appears at your window. it’s a small, weary knock, your eyes dart up to see jimin’s smiling face in the window. in the moment, your startled until you pull yourself together to let him in.
“hey,” is all he can say as he climbs through your frame. luckily, the outside of your window goes straight out onto the extension on your porch, so jimin made it here safe but you were still confused as to why he was here.
“hey.” you breath out, still surprised by his sudden arrival.
“sorry that i came through the window, i didn’t want to ring the bell and wake your family up.” jimin scratches the back of his neck in embarrassment but you shake your head and smile at his nervous antics.
“it’s fine,” you tell him, closing the window behind him to stop the cold air blowing in.
it’s silent in your room, but it doesn’t look like jimin minds. you turn and see his figure smiling, walking around your room like he’s never been there before, even those he was an hour ago. he looks tired and sweaty, probably just back from his dance lesson. you bite your lip slightly, praying for him to give you an explanation.
jimin turns around to meet your confused self and he chuckles.
“it’s pretty weird that i’m here, right?” his voice is happier than normal, he’s a little giddy.
“the weird thing here is the way your acting.” you joke, jimin smiles and licks his lips softly.
“you’re right.” is all he says, you look at him as his face falls, he sits at the end of your bed. he holds his head in his hands, elbows resting on his thigh. you sit down on the chair in front of him.
“are you gonna tell me what’s up?” you ask, very concerned. jimin looks up at you.
“yeah, okay”. he coughs before continuing.
“i saw you today, obviously. you bought me chips from the shop and i gave you a necklace.” jimin wants to keep going but you want to stop him almost immediately after he begins.
you wanted to ask why he was replaying today’s moments like a story you’ve never heard. but something else comes out of his story, he saw you buy the chips for him?
“wait— you saw me buy the chips?” you ask, your head tilting. jimin tenses up and starts fidgeting with his fingers nervously, like a child who’s been caught eating sweets before dinner or something.
“yeah...” his voice is low.
“and you didn’t say hi?” you ask suspiciously but jimin shakes his head. “why?”
jimin’s eyes meet your gaze with a guilty expression. your eyebrows are furrowed.
“i-i was just awkward... i thought it would be weird.” he admits.
“why would it be weird, jimin? i’ve known you long enough for us to say shit like that.” you explain but jimin doesn’t seem to get it.
jimin stands up out of frustration with your words. he’s angry at you. why? you don’t know. but you do know he’s being a little bitch, no matter how much you love him.
you follow him when he goes to look outside, you try to see what he’s looking at. it’s nothing but your front garden.
“what are you on, jimin?” you spit out, you’re normally shy but not now, your words hit jimin like a burn from a candle, harmless but it hurts.
“i used to stand right there—“ he points right outside your house.
“every single morning waiting for you, but just playing it off as a coincidence we ran into each other.” he chuckles at his antics, making you more confused than ever.
“what?” you almost whisper. it’s now his eyes meet yours and it’s only now you realise how close you actually are.
“our study dates. i asked my mom to organise them, to see you.” your breath hitches while jimin states intensely at you.
“don’t you get it?” he asks you seriously but you stay still. frozen in time.
“please say you love me.” jimin almost begs you, his hand moves to your jaw, holding your face up to look at him.
“i-i love you.” you tell him and he smiles, his lips come closer to you but stop.
“close your eyes,” he tells you, you do so.
jimin steps back from you, looking at you for a second longer. you wait for him, but he just comes close to your ear.
“thank you.” jimin tells you. after a second or two, you open your eyes but jimin’s gone but your window is open.
he left you, retreating back to his frustration. he was absolutely impossible.
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