straight boys are weak and pathetic, queer girls walk into the ladies changing room and see ten women naked, do they stare? do they say something inappropriate? do they make them uncomfortable? no because they have the common fucking sense to recognise when a situation is sexual and that people deserve the most basic level of respect to not be harassed, yet here we are banning shorts and low cut tops in school because straight boys are weak and pathetic
okay i made this post this morning and it has since had eighty two thousand notes, it’s been featured on reddit, facebook, twitter i’ve been sent multiple death threats and messages that i don’t even want to describe
and i have to apologise
i’ve seen the error of my ways
straight boys are not ’weak and pathetic’
straight boys are weak, pathetic and fucking annoying
Before you flame me please just hear me out I’m not one of ‘those’ guys…
I really don’t want to sound like the stereo-typical straight white cis male respondent to this post because they are my enemies too, however I must say my piece in response to it because I found it mildly triggering (I don’t want to put my mental angst on anywhere the level that some women, LGBTQIA -sorry to anyone I missed in that acronym- and not white people are triggered). For a start I actually have the body type that many people have described as “weak and pathetic”, the only things it is good at is running and cycling for extended periods of time. It has been a target for ridicule all through high school and up until about 9 days ago (I’m 22 now) at work (a childcare centre) when some colleagues (male and female) pointed out for me the exceptional thinness of my calves and compared them to theirs. it’s hardly the worst thing ever and I’m not asking for a whole bunch of sympathy because of it or anything.
As for generalisations about “straight boys”, I had a very good feminist sex ed in high school, i still remember the discussion about what rape is, it included facts like if someone is drunk having sex with them is rape, that the responsibility to prevent rape is on me as a male and an extensive description of all sorts of things that count as sexual assault and should therefore not do to. If I had ever been or am ever forced enter a female change room full of naked women my primary concern would be finding a way to make the women feel as at ease as possible given the situation; my strategy would amount to counting the marks on the floor tiles to an exceptional degree of conscientiousness until they were all clothed. It has been with that degree of conscientiousness that I have (and will continue to) avoid any situation that could be seen in any imagining as one where I had committed any form of sexual harassment; unfortunately that has not prevented me being the target of what would loosely be defined as sexual harassment from being locked in an instrument storeroom with a popular girl at school and being told I had to kiss her to get out (the class ended and I got off with just a hug) to a colleague’s near constant mock declarations of her love for me and marriage proposals; the punchline for both instances being that they can’t imagine anyone would actually seriously want to kiss or marry me because I’m so “weak and pathetic”. I know it’s hardly the worst thing to ever happen and many people have exponentially more traumatic experiences than those I have described but I think I can ask that we don’t generalise “straight boys” any more than any other gender or sexual orientation on the grounds that generalisations about any gender or sexual orientation is inherently patriarchal and damaging to everyone. This is coming from someone who knows about the adverse effects the patriarchy can have on a man through direct experience of not being the picture of stereo-typical masculinity (I consider myself lucky my colleagues didn’t ask to see my biceps flex) and working in a childcare centre fortunately in my 2 year career only one parent has said they didn’t want their child in the same room as me.
Okay, here’s the thing. You being called “weak and pathetic” has everything to do with the patriarchy, which you kind of already acknowledged. And sexual harassment by your coworkers is never acceptable.
That said, why are you writing this huge response about how we shouldn’t generalize ~all straight men~. Like, dude, we already know you’re not all rapists. But we have to assume you are because that’s how we stay safe.
Why not spend more of your energy calling out men with shitty attitudes about women and how they supposedly should dress, instead of policing a post expressing our frustration about the ways in which we’re constantly degraded?
Did you just miss the point of my post (and also my blog)? This is the first post I have EVER written "policing a post expressing our frustration about the ways in which we’re constantly degraded" (though that was not my intention and was an unintended interpretation that I will address later in this post) and so many of my posts are based on "calling out men with shitty attitudes about women and how they supposedly should dress". Even as someone who is terrible at self care (I spend ALL my free brain power thinking about feminism, LGBTQIA rights, animal rights, where to get more vegan food and skepticism to the point where I have up until quite recently ignored the fact that I have probably got a problem with anxiety) I realised I needed to express myself on this front, this realisation was confirmed by the fact that I was fighting back tears when I finished writing (still am). The two unintended (but now you say it understandable) interpretations of what I was saying were that I was trying to police "a post expressing our frustration about the ways in which we’re constantly degraded" (I will shortly explain -hopefully in a way which wont be misinterpreted- how I was applying popular feminist ideas to a post that also effected me personally) and women shouldn't see all men as possible rapists, and I take full responsibility for that miscommunication and I apologise without reservation and strive to do better in preventing it in the future. My point about generalisations is that we shouldn't generalise any gender or sexuality as being adjectives ('rapist' is a noun) like weak, pathetic, lustful hormone-driven, ravenous, etc. because even if you ignore my bleating about my fee fees (I can't blame you; I could be an MRA for all you know, not to mention I am but one person and the needs of the many are greater than mine) we shouldn't do it because it plays into the rape culture mythology that men are like wild animals around bare female flesh and can not help but fall into a frenzy of rampant raping and so can be held accountable for their actions, making it the woman's fault for wearing clothes she likes around such uncontrollable animals. This mythology has been summed up by the simultaneously tautological and inaccurate (a rare feat) phrase "boys will be boys".
I'm sorry I can not help but post long responses; some adjectives that do apply to me are: long-winded, wordy, verbose...
