In recent years, there have been many important debates about sexism in comedy and The Great Rape Joke Divide and the like, but I want to point out one (quite trivial in the shadow of rape jokes, perhaps) thing that absolutely infuriates me as a comedian who is still often introduced to the stage with “Are you guys ready for a lady?”:
WHY IS THIS?! Obviously jokes about the above subjects are well-trod ground because they are such universal experiences, but when I’ve been on shows where guys will tell relatively similarly constructed jokes to mine, they get laughs and an overall friendly “Get a load of this nutty guy!” attitude, whereas I get audible sighs of sadness and people waiting to give me hugs and pep talks afterward. “Maybe you’re just not funny, April,” you’re thinking — and maybe to you, I’m not, which is fair enough (but setting aside the fact that I must be humorous on some small level because I am making a living doing comedy right now), I also know other women who are much, much funnier than me who often get the same reactions. Even tonight, I tweeted some dumb dating joke and got a response from a dude saying something about how I’m “just looking for sympathy and attention” — DOY, yes, I am looking for attention for THE JOKE I JUST WROTE, because I’m a comedian who will post jokes on Twitter in the hopes that someone will see them and like them and pay to come see me live, which is very, very different from seeking male attention (and “sympathy”). No guy comic in history has ever been accused of “looking for sympathy” after talking about his inactive dating life. If a dude posts a joke about not getting laid enough, he’s only in danger of being high-fived to death, while if a lady posts a similar joke, it’s because they’re “looking for attention” or “boo hoo, you’re a girl, you can get laid any time you want,” because why should we have standards and wait until we meet someone with whom we share chemistry and a spark? Just walk out the door and bang the first dude you see and stop complaining, woman!
God, this just bums me out so much, because as someone who recently ended a serious relationship and who really is like, sitting at home being sad a lot, pondering all this dating bullshit, what else am I supposed to talk about right now? Along with Scandal and House of Cards, that stuff is currently a sizable part of my life, and as the saying goes, “write what you know,” and sometimes I find myself holding back online and onstage, because I don’t want to deal with the inevitable tidal wave of pity, when I’m really just joking and trying to figure out how to make light of this shit that we ALL go through, dudes and ladies alike, you know? Obviously, if you don’t find my jokes funny, I expect silence — I’m aiming for laughs, of course, but I’d almost prefer silence to “awww”s that sound like they’d accompany a condescending pat on the head.
Ugh, this is so poorly written, but I’m just so fuckin’ annoyed. Allow me and the ladies of the world joke about being lonely from time to time without hearing “awww” or “I’m sorry” or “I’LL go on a date with you,” because they are JOKES, not cries for help or subliminal messages to the dudes in the audience. (Trust me, guys — if I want to date you, I will walk up to you and say, “Do you want to go on a date?” and then you will likely be scared off by this and get weird and then I’ll go home feeling bummed and will try to write new jokes about it and THE CIIIIIRCLE OF LIIIIIIFEEEE continues.)