Dei’s

ig & twt - blavkjackalll

[daswarschonkaputt]

an incredibly subjective kinnporsche fic rec list

a few caveats before i get into it: i have probably missed fic. this is all my opinion, and if you disagree with it, that’s fine. i’m not giving these fics ratings, or picking out my extra special favourites because that’s just a dick move and inevitably results in writers feeling like shit. (i’ve been there.) if it’s on this list, i enjoyed it enough to remember it. which is saying something because i read a lot of fic. like, so much firefox fucking crashed when i was opening tabs from my ao3 history. i bsod’d my fucking laptop for this. oh and my fic is on this list because hell yeah i recommend it. i fucking wrote it.

these aren’t in any particular order, because they’re mostly in order of my ao3 history. bear in mind that a lot of these were written whilst the show was airing, so they’re not so much canon as canon-adjacent. where i can remember what they go by over on this hellsite, i’ve tagged the author’s in question. if you know any of the handles for authors i’ve missed, feel free to tag them too.

under a cut because there are quite a few here:

Keep reading

[blavkjackalll]

naoki: do you want to know how i actually hurt my wrist?

naoto: yes.

naoki: i was hula hooping. gun and i attend a class for fitness and for fun *strict face*

naoto: oh, my god

naoki: i’ve mastered all the moves. *shows photo on phone* the pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie-doodle

naoto: why are you telling me this?

naoki: because no one will ever believe you. *deleted photo from phone and smirks*

naoto: you sick son of a bitch

—

yeh brooklyn 99 but i can actually see this happening

[blavkjackalll]

reality vs expectations

high&low version:

masaki: say it, three words. and i’m yours *sticking his lips out*

hiroto: three fucking words. what are you on

masaki: you’re so no fun hiroto-kun, at least give oni-chan a kiss come on <3 *leans forward*

hiroto: *slaps him in the face punches his stomach and leaves him right away*

- reality line -

takahiro: say it, three words. and i’m yours *sticking his lips out*

omi: *blushes and smiles sweetly* and i’m yours

takahiro: *stands still as tryna process what actually happened and* you little piece of sweetheart *hugs him tightly and kisses his cheek*

omi: *hugs back and giggles*

- oh shit i just remembered takahiro’s married line -

there’s not reality bye this ain’t happening

[blavkjackalll]

if high&low characters and the members switch souls

akira: you bitches have to shut up and ride your bike or i’ll dance on you

kenchi: *emotionless* dance, i urge you *shows his knife*

keiji: *rushes to the vocals and snatches their mics* party time!! *smiles brightly showing his silver teeth*

takahiro: … (i’m sorry he’s completely identical to masaki i have nothing to say but maybe) *looks at omi with shining eyes* can i lick the sweat off your jaw line pleaseeeeee

omi: *completely emotionless* shut the fuck you bitches and listen to me sing *middle finger up*

or

omi: fuck off *to takahiro*

naoto: hi sweeties wanna have a one night stand with me? it’s exciting hours babes~ 💋 *starts stripping on the stage*

iwata: dance. dancing is important. i have to do it impeccably. *clutches his fist with determination and nod to himself* i will do everything to dance.

naoki: *speechlessly ready to do something with his katana* (please run if you don’t wanna die)

elly: neo-funk jungle yeah it’s do or die *ai ai* come on baby *hops on the car during This is JSB’s opening while shouting and snatching ryuji’s mic*

mandy: *grunts with stupidity*

alan: (practically deaf with his headphones on) i’ll hack into the famous producers’ computer and listen to their unreleased music fuck yeh *plays loud music*

reo: (no way imagine he never retorts or says anything mean or ironic,, that’s not reo!!) *remains silent* ask our leader i’m not here to make decisions but to execute

[blavkjackalll]

if jesse x cobra is real

jesse vanished after battling kuryu siding with sword and no matter how hard cobra’s tried to search for him (probs even with the help of noboru and bernie), there’s no signs of jesse

cobra fell into the desperation of losing jesse, regretting not being blunt and straightforward about his feelings for jesse, leaving jesse hanging

he went mad as he went to jesse’s old apartment, taking his iconic leopard print jacket and left sannoh

from that day onwards, sword has a new legend on how cobra’s now a replica of jesse, turning from the caring, loving and passionate sannoh leader to an apathetic and crazy mercenary as he traces jesse’s whole life, still having the hope that jesse would come back

[blavkjackalll]

omi and ryuji having an argument be like:

ryuji: you meanie have stop these bullshits

omi: *remains silent and enters his hiroto mode*

ryuji: i don’t tf know what is wrong with you but if you needed help you fucking piece of shit go hold onto something or talk to me…

omi: *grabs ryuji’s ass*

ryuji: *blushes and screams* whAt thE fUck are you doing???

omi: *innocently looking at ryuji* you asked me to hold onto something when i needed help why are you surprised

ryuji smacks omi on the head and runs away forgetting they’re literally arguing

// this have to end like this cuz omiryu are never divorced ISTG

[blavkjackalll]

cobra <3

[blavkjackalll]

More on Twitter & Instagram: @blavkjackalll

[blavkjackalll]

Live young, Stay rude stay Hood