i just want a burrito

I'm Danielle and im just a canadian fucking an american tbh

[egg-tampon]

back in my day we didn’t call it “shitposting”, we called it “nightblogging” and blamed the australians

[mycatstail]

I’ve been on this god forsaken website for too long.

[saddest-cat-hours]

[bopeep]

[bleeksharton]

You forgot the IT WORKS fat wraps

[migscast-deactivated20220805]

[sridevi]

[verylittlebird]

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

[rustybuckett]

ny’all mind if i

[hotvampireadjacent]

yeah actually i do mind

[griffys]

you: astrology isn’t real

me, pointing to every scorpio simultaneously: then explain THIS

[nochannels-deactivated20211223]

me to a water sign: hey maybe….some of this….is your fault too?

water sign:

[rhubabby]

who speaks out loud anymore? it’s 2017. stop talking.

[door-maker-gal]

I hate how on Tumblr, a username like lisa486 is almost certainly a pornblot, while someone named solidsnakesasscheeks is almost certainly a real person

[zoomerbro]

[paxamericana]

in 20 years: exact same headline, minus the quotation marks

[familyfriendlycryingpoems]

[greelin]

the spell can only be broken by true love’s high-five

[adonischildsupportcase]

[sagolii-sandcat]

We are watching this man have a mental break down from trying to be Trumps hype man.

[ichigoflavor-deactivated2024042]

[nullifiedneet]

It’s like being in an alternate reality seeing the real picture in this post lmao