Blessed Nonetheless

As a wife and a mother I know that life, at times, can be messy. But it is the balance of the good with the bad that makes me who I am. This is my life, and I wouldn't change anything about it. I know no matter what comes my way, I am Blessed Nonetheless.

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My kiddos 🥰

[kindnotestoself]

{You are so much more than you think}

[a-lavender-lotus]

Am I?

[kindnotestoself]

Yes. You are.

[thegoodvybe]

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10 Letters To Make Me Better

[femestella]

[thesovereignword]

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10 Letters To Make Me Better

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I’m completely frustrated. Unfortunately I am a person that usually has a hard time finding motivation. Either my anxiety eats away at whatever confidence I had to try, or I’m just too sad or overwhelmed that the thought of adding to my ‘to do’ list 🗒 makes me want to cry. But lately I have been in a good state of mind and have had the ambition to start achieving my goals; I’ve been pumped and ready to buckle down. 💪🏻

Why is it that in these good moments, these few and far between moments, the universe seems to say “Shit, look, she has some drive...here, hold my beer.” 🍺 BAM the universe 💩s on me. Again and again.

So now as I lay here curled up under the rock I crawled under, I retreat into myself again and just shut down. 🆘 I wish I knew how to better react when things go wrong, but for me, it’s never just one thing. It’s one and then another and another and another, each one chipping away at me slowly. Eventually I get to the point that big issues become minimized because I give up and stop caring and little problems get blown up and cause unnecessary yet constant anger. 🤬

I don’t know how to control this part of my brain. I don’t know how to explain to people how I feel when I feel both everything all at once and nothing at all. I’m both numb and overstimulated. I’m both sitting silently in rage and crying without reason.

So here we are, at square 1 and here I am trying to pull myself together and get back on my feet. I used to live in this state of misery for long periods of time because I didn’t have anyone depending on me to be my best self. But now I have my husband and my kids that need me to be present and focused and it’s through them that I will find the strength to pick myself up off the floor. They need me as much as I need them. And I’m going to do everything in my power to face each day head on and push forward. I have to.

Thanks for listening. 🖤

[beeefy]

u lie down and its like (• ) ( •) and thats just how it is

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[kindnotestoself]

{self care is important}

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My babies

Paisley Jean 2 years old

Cody Allen 1 month

[lavalamps]

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I recently read an article about the toddler years that really rang true for me; it inspired me to write my own version in response to it.

So many people warn you about the toddler years. They tell you horror stories of “terrible twos” and tantrums of epic proportions 🆘😡. Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely a lot of challenging days and many, MANY moments I question my sanity🤦🏼‍♀️. What people don’t tell you, however, is that the toddler years are also full of some of the most amazing, fulfilling, memorable moments that you will cherish forever💌.

Here are my 🔝🔟 most favorite moments in the toddler years (so far):

1️⃣ The first time I heard her singing you are my sunshine ☀️ by herself while sitting at the table coloring a picture 🖍. (Cue mom sob)😭

2️⃣ She wholeheartedly believes my kisses have actual healing powers. Hearing her sad little voice after she gets a booboo asking “mommy kiss it?” *melts* 🥺

3️⃣ When she is inconsolably crying until I start to sing Somewhere Over the Rainbow 🌈 and with her shaky voice starts to sing with me through her tears.

4️⃣ How proud she is when she accomplishes something. I love watching her eyes light up and her smile spread ear to ear as she claps and giggles in excitement at what she has done. 🤗🥳

5️⃣ Her desire to partake in everything we do; she loves to be just like mommy and daddy! i.e. Do her makeup like mommy💄, take a shower🚿, use the potty whenever we do🚽, help sweep the floor🧹, wear mommy’s deodorant, lotion, or perfume🧴, help cook 🍳, etc.

6️⃣ Watching her dance, sing and act out all of her favorite movies word for word, step for step. 💃🏼🎭🎤

7️⃣ Her compassionate heart. ❤️ She is so concerned when I am crying or upset. She climbs onto my lap, caresses my face so delicately and asks “are you okay mommy?” Talk about a proud momma moment. She makes everything okay again.

8️⃣ The endless smiles she brings to everyone’s faces everywhere we go. Her bubbly personality combined with her infectious friendliness draws the attention and wins the hearts of anyone she is near. You just can’t help but fall in love with this little blue-eyed beauty. 😍

9️⃣ Hearing others compliment how well mannered and intelligent she is for such a little girl. My heart just soars with pride! 🥰

🔟 Finally one of my most favorite things of all about this age, is having the privilege to watch her imagination grow. There is just something so beautiful and pure about a toddlers imagination. In their mind, the world is unscathed and unbroken. All they know is what is presented to them and the rest is purely theirs for the creating. 🧠💭🌈✨

What are/were some of your favorite things about the toddler years that you think may be under-appreciated or overlooked while people are too busy focusing on the negative parts of this age? I believe that every stage of life does/is going to come with its own set of challenges; but more importantly, we need to remember that instead of wishing the time away, we should be appreciating and cherishing the beautiful parts about each stage before they are gone.

XO

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10 Things I Didn’t Know Before I Had A Baby

If you are a first time mom, you want to be as informed and prepared as possible. You spend countless hours with your nose in parenting books, asking questions to health care professionals, or browsing through hundreds of articles online.

That was me; I dedicated so much time trying find all of the answers. I thought maybe if I prepared myself enough, there would never be any problem I wouldn't have the answer to.

I was wrong.

1. “Morning sickness?”

More like Puke-Every-20-Minutes-Sickness. Mine would end up getting so bad I would tear my esophagus. Yes, you read that right, TEAR. MY. ESOPHAGUS.

2. Umm..why is my hair falling out?!

Because of elevated estrogen levels a woman has during pregnancy, the growing stage of hair is extended. This means that fewer hairs are falling out each day. After giving birth, your estrogen levels drop dramatically, causing much more hair than usual to fall out. It’s really glamorous.

3. Why. Can’t. I. Sleep?!

Great sleeping baby doesn’t always equal great sleeping momma. My newborn would be sound asleep in her bed, and I would be laying there, so tired that I was literally shaking and felt like I was going to vomit. It felt like I had a constant flow of adrenaline pumping through my veins. How can you sleep after the doctors scare the daylights out of you with all of the warnings about safe sleep? Its totally fine, I’ll sleep when shes 30.

4. I cried more than my newborn.

The first few weeks were physically, emotionally and mentally exhausting; I cried more than my newborn baby. I felt helpless, exhausted and like I was failing as a mom. Everything was a constant battle of trial and error. Add in the additional postpartum hormones and you’re crying at literally everything. Can’t find a hair tie? Cry. Drop spoon on the floor? Cry. Husband asks how your day was? Cry.

5. “Mom groups” on Facebook are not always helpful.

I became obsessed with trying to do things the way other moms were. I joined ALL the mom groups on Facebook (first mistake). I was going crazy trying to live up to their exceedingly high standards. I finally realized that the best way to do anything, was whatever way worked for me and my family. Majority doesn’t always rule; there is more than one way to do things. (Stick THAT in your coconut oil and suck it.)

6. Birth isn’t always what you prepare for.

It isn’t always deep breathing in a tub listening to soft music and basking in the calming scent of lavender oil. Sometimes its being bedridden and getting an epidural (you swore you wouldn’t get) at 2am just so you could get some sleep. And then not getting sleep anyway because you have a reaction to that epidural that causes you to vomit every 10 minutes…all ending in an unplanned c-section. Again, glamorous.

7. Clothes? HAHAHA

If you even attempt to get dressed after giving birth, you should be awarded a metal. Get used to living in a bathrobe for at least the first 3 months.

8. You become a human napkin.

Speaking of clothes, prepare to never own anything nice again. The amount of food, boogers, poop, you name it that you wipe on your clothes becomes etched permanently into them until you start to resemble something of a cave drawing.

9. Going to the grocery store alone becomes a vacation.

You used to dread going grocery shopping, especially alone. Now, that 30 minutes of freedom is the ONLY time you get for yourself. Ever.

10. The love. ALL the love.

I know…parents are constantly blabbing about how much they love their children. SORRY NOT SORRY! Until you have a child of your own, you will never understand. It will be the most profound love you will ever experience; you will be shouting it from the rooftops! There is simply no combination of words I could string together that would ever fully explain this love. You will never know a more true, unconditional, deep love than the love between you and your child. It makes everything else, all of the chaos, the long nights, the tears shed, worth it. Life will never be the same, and honestly, you won’t want to have it any other way.