orym saying in ep. 17 that dorian and fearne knew about him and will + robbie saying in 4-sided dive ep. 1 that there were some romantic vibes for dorian but he "kept his distance"............... could these two dorks have talked about their feelings. did dorian and orym actually sit down, maybe pre-campaign when they visited zephra, and talk about their growing affection for each other? and did orym maybe decide that he wasn't ready for a commitment yet, after what happened to will? could they have come to a mutual understanding to just be there for each other, keep caring for and loving each other, just.. at a safe enough emotional distance?
the openly fond gazes, the soft gestures, the protectiveness, all of it would've been in total conscience of how they feel for each other. but holding back, out of respect for orym's grief. for his heart, and for how much of it still belongs to his husband. orym's heart will not be at peace until he knows the truth of what happened that day that will died. and he knows that. he's a smart guy, he knows himself. he knows that his heart is uneasy, and he can't give it over to dorian in its current state, no matter how much he wishes he could. dorian deserves more than that. better than that. so orym will just be here, as his friend. he's good at that. he's ok with that.
and dorian, with how much he respects and admires this guy, of course he understands. orym is and always has been his friend, first and foremost. but see, dorian has trust issues. as robbie said last night, one of the things dorian took away from his time with bell's hells was trust, not necessarily how to trust others, but how to trust himself around others. before c3, he didn't trust himself as much. so maybe that's why he barely ever initiated when it came to orym. he's an anxious guy. he may have wanted to be affectionate, supportive, loving, but he'd constantly wonder.. would this be too much? would i be crossing a line with this? am i doing something wrong?
orym sees it. he gets it. he loves it. he loves dorian for who he is, anxieties and all. which is why every once in a while he'd do something to remind him, hey. i'm here, and i still care. it's ok. have a blue flower, blue boy.
and then, the last time they see each other, dorian goes for it. he hesitates, because of course he does, but he trusts himself a bit more now after some time with this group. he realizes he's parting ways with his best friend, his first love. orym's here, they're holding each other, and who knows when — if — they'll meet again. so what the hell. a forehead kiss never hurt anybody.
(it did. it hurt me damn it)
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