Keep The Dream Tight

Covering feminism, a lot. With intervals of interiors and other opinions I have.

[blessthismesss-blog]

Uh oh... Here comes religion!

So a ton of people are having babies in my social network which is to be expected because of the age range (mid to late 20′s and over) and after the celebration of the baby coming into the world, I’ve started to notice a pattern... 

Christenings! 

Now, if you’ve read this blog you will know that I am an atheist but I was christened as a baby and so were my brothers, my fiancé and pretty much everyone I grew up with. Christenings are fine, I’ve no qualms with the process., but I do have some niggling wonders... Most of the people who christen their children generally do not lead christian/catholic lives in the slightest, which begs the question why have this sacrament performed on your child all of a sudden? I know people in my family are christening their children and don’t lead religious lives and one of the reasons (which I think was actually valid and made sense to a degree) was that they weren’t sure if they believed in something but if there is something out there, they take comfort from the feeling that they are welcoming their children into it. Which is fair enough.

I personally won’t be raising my children with religion because:

a) I am not religious

b) I honestly believe it should be up to the individual

c) Kind of goes hand in hand with a. but the idea of a christening just does not appeal at all... I don’t believe a baby can be born with sin. 

d) I believe we are good people, we can make mistakes but we have good morals and not because we are god fearing, it’s totally out of choice. 

I believe a lot of people probably have some kind of subconscious fear for their newborn which leads them to baptism. But for the most part, it’s a get together; family, friends, choosing god parents, receiving gifts, essentially it’s a party. And who doesn’t like a party? (Those people with crippling social anxiety I’m guessing.)

I’m going to have something called a naming party, like a baptism without the church, the robes and washing of original sin...

I’m a fan of commitment, so if you’re going to christen your child I just think that you should follow that up with a religious upbringing, it would make sense? 

If you want a party, hell have a party? Everyone who has a new baby can throw a party in celebration of that baby, the god bit doesn’t have to come into it. Perhaps many people aren’t aware that this is a thing? Or it’s just traditional to do the religious thing? I don’t tend to follow traditions, mainly because I quite like my freedom and making my own choices based on educated decisions. I can’t un-baptise myself, but because I don’t believe in it, for me, nothing happened on that day that has had any significance or change on my life or afterlife. I don’t believe I’ve won a seat in ‘heaven’ over a child that wasn’t baptised (which by the way, according to the catholic church, those babies end up in Limbo, a place also described as ‘the outer ring of hell’ (sounds great!) And it also invites more questions regarding other religions and faiths... What about those children who aren’t catholic or christian? You see, there’s so many gods and after-lifes out there, it’s a bit like those gelateria’s in Italy, which one should you pick?! 

People believe in a god for so very many reasons and that’s fine, I get it when those people want to bring their children into it (to a degree). But the ones that just do it for the party... I dunno, it makes me a little uneasy. Now as I write this, I might add, ironically, that I have been chosen to be a god parent for one of my many nephews. I was delighted by being chosen, but it has been made clear to me by the parents that I should look at it more as being his guardian. Of course I’m going to have to hold my tongue and most likely tell a few porkies during the ceremony, but luckily the parents don’t take it seriously either... 

Anyway, I just wanted to put it out there that there’s a lot of christenings happening where I’m least expecting them! And when I googled this question, there are a LOT of other people out there wondering the same thing! 

Naming parties FOR THE WIN! 

[blessthismesss-blog]

Did I read that right?

I thought I might follow some lovely feminist blogs so I can like and learn, agree or disagree. There is an actual blog called ‘Women Against Feminism’... I had to do a double take, this thing is REAL. It’s basically a bunch of silly women who post photos of themselves holding up posters with why they don’t need feminism on it. Ironic isn’t it? If it wasn’t for feminism they wouldn’t be allowed to vote, they wouldn’t even be able to write those words on that piece of paper and upload it to a blog on a computer, they probably wouldn’t have been allowed to touch the computer. They genuinely believe that because they love and respect their husbands/boyfriends and enjoy cooking for them that they are NOT feminists. Here are some of the ridiculous things they have said and what I think about it:

- ‘I don’t need something that demonises men.’

Ok, first of all, feminism is equality among the human race, that means we want to be EQUAL to men

feminismˈfɛmɪnɪz(ə)m/

noun

the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.

See? I repeat, equal. 

Also, we are not demonising men, we are trying to break the patriarch. We are trying to give women all over the world (not just in your society) the freedom to work, equal pay for same working hours, the freedom to choose not to marry, the freedom to choose not to have a baby, the same chances at success as men, the right to speak and act freely, to name a few, and we are a LONG way off. Many people, and sadly many women, believe that feminism has been achieved because they can now vote and do pretty much the same things as men here in the West. But this really is not the case. Sexism comes in many forms and these women have a lot to learn as they seem to be siding with the patriarch.

- ‘I don’t need something that tells me the actions of a slut are okay’

Yes, you read that right. There is, for me anyway, a fine line here. Some women like to show more of their body more than others, I personally don’t wear revealing clothes, but I’d like to think that if I did it does not make it okay for a man to say things to me, shame me, touch me or rape me. I am not asking to be raped even if I have chosen to expose my body.

What this girl is saying is that basically is a woman acting like a slut, I assume she means dressing in a certain way and enjoying the attention of men, shouldn’t be surprised if it’s her unlucky night. Well, it looks like we are here for the viewing pleasure of men and should they want to take more than a look at us and we’ve only gone and worn a short skirt, that’s just too bad! Clearly this girl has never been a victim of sexual abuse and I hope she never will be but to have such patriarchal views on your own gender is shocking.

- ‘I need feminism to tell me men are all potential rapists and abusers’

Again, another woman who has been lucky enough to have never suffered sexual abuse. And when did we say all men? Most rape is done by men to women, just saying. 

Where I live (UK), the percentage of rape crime actually rose by 37% with the numbers of rapes (29,265) and other sexual offences (58,954) being at the highest level since the introduction of the National Crime Recording Standard in 2002/03. I wonder what this female would say to that? 

I’m not saying all men are rapists, I’m marrying a man, he is not a rapist or an abuser. Neither are my brothers or my dad... Or any of the males I actually know. So we’re not man hating here, we’re just spitting truths and facts based on statistics. Living in America (which I believe most of these women are), they conveniently forget the rest of the population including some in their homeland. What about the men that get raped on a daily basis in prison? What about the young girls and women facing rape and daily fear of being raped in places like South/Africa, India, Sweden and Canada (over 1 in 3 women are raped there, and that’s just up the road from you my dear, you’re not a free as you think you are.)

These women believe that because their life is comfortable and they have choice, and they love their men, that woman’s rights are done! We’ve got it all now! Many of them mention their male partners, as if being in a loving relationship with a man instantly means you absolutely cannot be a feminist. This is absolutely not the case. Many women live a certain way because it’s all they know and it’s all their mothers knew and so on... Even my mother is this way but she’s never forced her beliefs on me, luckily. It’s snuck into our lives and it’s so normal that we just don’t see it at all. Gender roles. Women are expected to do certain things within the home because that’s how it’s been for years and it’s the normal thing to do. Men do hard work and earn money whilst women have the babies, clean the home, keep it tidy, do the washing, cook the food, look after the babies, look after the man, keep things running smoothly (according to the media and the hallmark idea of the perfect family for the past 100 years). I grew up in this type of household, totally normal. The old ‘if mum can’t find it, it’s definitely lost’ kind of household. All feminists are saying (in my view of feminism) is that men can do these things too, if women want to go further in their careers, men can stay at home and do housework and parenting, if both parents want to and can work, then these tasks should be shared. It shouldn’t be totally the responsibility of one individual in the household because of her gender. Of course women work now (thank you feminism), most women have careers and take care of the home. And of course there are men out there that are definitely doing their bit! I’m not saying in any shape or form saying that the 50′s idea of the perfect family is still happening everywhere, but in some places it is.

I’m certainly not going to raise my children with the idea that women do certain things and men do other things. I (and my partner) will teach my sons (and daughters) how to make beds, how to use the washing machine, how to sew (well, I won’t teach them that bit because I can’t sew, I just never paid any attention when my Mum tried to teach me... but still you get my drift?) These tasks are called housework. The people that live inside that house contribute to the work that needs to be done inside the house. Simple. My fiancé cooks (amazingly), cleans, makes the bed (I just hate makings beds!) He hoovers, tidy’s up, the lot! I do most of my work from home because I’m a wedding photographer, so if I’m home and not busy with that then I can take care of the chores. If he’s home, then he will. It’s quite easy really. We don’t make the one with the vagina do all the things that over the years she’s been expected to do. 

I’ve totally abandoned quoting those women haven’t I? But you get the idea, they believe that you can’t be a feminist if you love your man and enjoy cooking for him. And they’ve decided to disregard women’s welfare outside of their own society because it’s irrelevant to them, they’re happy so who cares if young girls are being raped and forced to marry at the age of 12 right? Well I care and so should everybody else, not just women. This is what feminism is, equal rights for everybody. It doesn’t take away your femininity. It doesn’t mean you can’t still have and enjoy sex with men. It doesn’t mean you can’t be a stay at home mum. It means that YOU make those decisions because YOU want to do it and it’s not expected of you. You are not second to a man. You are a human. You are not defined by being a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter. You are an important person too. And so are your daughters, and their daughters.

I get very angry about people who are not feminists. In saying that you are saying women should not have rights, and that’s just pure crazy.

[blessthismesss-blog]

It’s been over a year since my last post!

I can’t believe I’ve stayed away from my blog for that long! I suppose I’ve been super busy shooting weddings, traveling, being sexually harassed in broad daylight by men who think it’s ok to grab my arm and say grotesque things to me (I’ll cover this in a post as I feel it needs a whole post to itself), getting engaged and planning my own wedding! ARGH! So this post will just fill that gap in a nutshell...(a big nutshell, perhaps a coconutshell) I’ve shot weddings in Tuscany and Santorini and I look so forward to shooting more outside of the UK! Check our my latest work here http://www.lovestruckphoto.co.uk/ And if you prefer Facebook pages then here’s that too https://www.facebook.com/LoveStruckPhoto?ref=hl

I went to New York over New Year and my boyfriend asked me to marry him, we’ve been together for 6 years (as of yesterday) and been best friends for about 4 of those years, so it’d be rude to say no wouldn’t it? Plus I love everything about him and can’t wait to make little humans with him so that helps. 

I guess since I joined instagram the words just stopped and the photos carried on! By the way, if you are interested in what I do (which I really don’t know why as I’m a perfect stranger with a mouth full of words at all times) I’ll give you my instagram account. It goes from 'what should I really be posting here?’ to quite confidently posting stylised photos of food and interiors, with some occasional selfies (just can’t help it, if I think I look good on that day, for some reason I want to post that shit). So if you enjoy that kind of thing, then here you go https://instagram.com/juliet_izzo/ 

I shall also tell you that I’m currently reading many feminist books and thoroughly enjoying them! My fiancé even bought me a new one yesterday as an anniversary present, ‘Living Dolls, The return of Sexism’ by Natasha Walter, which I can’t wait to begin! I’m yet to finish ‘A book for Her’ by Bridget Christie, which is hilarious and so damn insightful. I began my journey with one of my favourite people, Caitlin Moran and her book ‘How to be a woman’ (ref previous posts with her quotes) and in between squeezed in the very heavy read ‘Meat Market, Female flesh under capitalism’ by Laurie Penny. So I’m on a bit of a roll between shooting and editing weddings, celebrating relationship milestones and as I said, planning my own wedding. 

Things that are certain about my wedding: It’s happening on the 11th August next year! It was going to take place in Greece, then Italy but we decided to keep it local and we’re having it in Brixton which is down the road from us. We love the colourful town of Brixton and it’s vibrancy so we found a warehouse deep in it’s roots, it’s very us! The theme is industrial, boho, modern? Sounds a bit crazy but trust me, it’s going to work!

I’ve found my photographers! The only thing many people are interested in is who is going to shoot our wedding! The search began in February, I was put off by extortionately priced and quite frankly mediocre quality of pictures from the people I got quotes from. I managed to narrow it down to 3 photographers and finally picked a couple that I think I’m in actual love with. I genuinely couldn’t be happier with my choice. And this far ahead of the wedding, it’s a massive load off, and that is one of the most important parts of the wedding.

I shall be keeping my own name, once a Juliet Izzo, always a Juliet Izzo. That’s something I’ve always felt incredibly strongly about. Nobody on this earth will exchange my name for their ownership tag on me instead. Also, just Ms, no Mrs for me thank you. Some women don’t mind it and that’s ok, but it’s not for me. My name is a big part of who I am, I’ve only just just grown into my self, so I’m not willing to abandon a huge part that defines who I am. What’s an added bonus is that my husband-to-be is totally fine with it, he is a fellow feminist and equal rights supporter which is one of the very reasons we get on so damn well. Some of my family are still getting used to it, namely my parents, but I understand them. They have grown up in different times, in different parts of the world where feminism is a daunting concept and an outrageous one as well. But I’m bringing them around to the idea that women are equal to men.... Sounds absurd to say out loud, no?

We initially wanted a humanist wedding, no churches, no religion, no set of rules that I, as a new wife, must obey. But finding a person and a place that will allow it was proving difficult and we’d have to do it in a registry office anyway for it be legal. I want the time I get married and exchange rings to be the only time I do it, so what we’re doing works better for us. Registrars in a beautiful space in central London to completely contrast the rest of the day.

So we’ve kind of covered so much already with a whole year to spare! Which is great! We’ve sorted: Venue for ceremony, venue for reception, registrars, travel for guests, photographers, and I think I may have even found my dress! I have another trial on the 24th this month to double check, if I still love it as much as I did then, I’m paying a deposit! The thing I’m most looking forward to because of my love of interiors, is obviously styling the space! The details are so important to me, they say to our guests, ‘this is what we love, this is us’, I can’t wait.

Other than that... I was thinking of starting a new blog which was just a rant/vent space for daily annoyances! My fiancé says I should call it ‘Angry Bird’... Trust me he really IS a feminist, I swear! Then there was ‘A day in the past of Juliet Izzo’, I kind of like that. I always wanted to call my blog ‘A Bug’s Life’ because that’s my name, Bug. He doesn’t call me Juliet, only when he introduces me, otherwise, it’s just Bug or Bugster. Nobody gets it. We’ll see if I can find time to run two blogs.

Well, as my first post of 2015 I think I’ve covered some ground! So until the next time, check out the books I’ve mentioned, women and men alike should be reading these excellent books! I highly recommend them, most of all ‘A book for her’, full of laughs. And whether you’re a feminist or not and you happen to be reading this post, please, please watch this video by Jackson Katz https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTvSfeCRxe8 Please share it any which way you can. Thank you.

Adios for now Tumblrs!

[blessthismesss-blog]

Our beautiful sample album for Lovestruckphoto. Photos by my Laimonas and styling by moi. This wedding was shot in Cornwall last year. Italian wedding coming up this year! Lots to look forward to!

www.lovestruckphoto.co.uk

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Our new Rustic / Eco-friendly / Handcrafted / Glorious albums |

Introducing our shiny new rustic wedding albums! We couldn't resist, we had to create a sample to show to all of our potential clients.

My latest styling for our latest album range. Check out www.lovestruckphoto.co.uk for more details! And enjoy!

[blessthismesss-blog]

BLOGGERS!

Should ALWAYS CREDIT the blog they reblog from! It's rude not to!

[blessthismesss-blog]

I made a post on 6/11/13 about the idea of getting a loft bed for my boyfriend and I. Well, we finally took the plunge and bought one. Our initial idea was to build from wood, from scratch. This may have actually cost us more money than the one we bought. Our apartment is strange, it's big but small? We benefit from extremely high ceilings, so I thought why not utilise vertical space? Makes perfect sense! Building upwards and creating more floor space. This amazing bed has given us just over 2x2 meters of space which was being clearly wasted on a mattress with little space for surrounding storage. It's almost as if this bed was made for this exact space.

We plan on making the underneath area an office big enough for two with extra storage space. I can walk under the bed without ducking, so it's pretty spectacular. I'm so looking forward to getting some cool desks under there and making it very us! So far, I've jujed(?) it up with fairy lights interwoven through the cage under the mattress, with flowers above and I CANNOT wait to get rid of that HORRIFIC light fixture which was already here when we moved in. We can't remove it ourselves, but once we do!!! I'll be super happy.

I plan on fixing some hooks under the protruding box above the bed and hang industrial light bulbs with exposed rope which will be for the office. Lots and lots of ideas flying around! Definitely got my juices flowing. Also, a space has been freed up beside our giant wardrobe (second to last photo). Here I plan on getting hold of a large floor up mirror with hidden storage behind it. Everything in our apartment has to be beneficial to us I feel. 

The best thing about this bed, lying in it and still having heaps of room above our heads! All in all, total win!

[blessthismesss-blog]

Our loft bed so far! We shall never be grown ups! #interiors #loftbed #bunkbed #ikea #fairylights #office #magical #den #homemade #bedroom #interiordesign #softlights #glowing #londonliving #londonapartment #studio #smartliving

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And this is the other side facing the kitchen and hugely helping! #ikea #redesign #kitchen #interiors #interiordesign #interiorstyling #home #apartment #londonapartment #organisedclutter #sofa can't wait to get new sofa!! #foodstorage #storage #styling #plants #flowers #growyourown #diy #spaces #highceilings

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Looks so cluttered! This is the living room saving side of the shelf #shelf #interiors #interiordesign #interiorstyling #kitchen #apartment #londonapartment #ikea #livingroom #highceilings #storage #clutter #organisedclutter #plants #flowers #photoframes #homely #home

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Reassigned #hyllis #ikea #shelf was plain steel, boring and ugly unless you have an industrial set. Wrapped in brown paper and I played around with shapes to make the patterns, including cutting a sponge to shape, eraser, skewer and egg cup! Just to bring it to life. Now I'll be using it for #kitchen #storage! #shelving #diy #makeyourown #styling #redesign #interiors #patterns #triangles #polkadot #circles totally not finished. Gonna attach hooks to make it even more useful for hanging utensils! #makeityourown #furniture #interiorstyling #interiordesign #makeover

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New #dress and lush #curls in love with this new smock! #fashion #hair #dresses #tartan #tattoos #sunshine #brownhair #peterpancollar #green #dark

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Managed to fit #pancakes into the day #breaktime #nutella #food #bestpancakesever

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Birthday #prosecco :D my boy did all this before I woke! #birthdays #luckyme #birthdaycake #windmills #bubbly #happy

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:D #pompoms #birthdays #cake #happy #bestdayever #prosecco #candles #lucky

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#parisiennafrench #gifts #birthdays #presents #cake #candles #prosecco #strawberries #cards #flowers

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And I've used my #rosegarland on my mirror! Quite like it m'self! #roseheads #roses #homemade #crafts #diyflowergarland #diy #petals #wiretwine