url change + other updates
fihyn -> blithelyblue
hello everyone~ c: welcome to the very first url change I've ever done on this blog. xD this blog is over ten years old and I've never once changed the username until now.
the truth is that I'm not doing it for exciting reasons though unfortunately. ;u; more details + big emotions under the cut!
I have come to realize that I am flatly unable to keep the constant presence on the internet that I've maintained for so long, largely because of the way things online have been changing in the last few years.
the big buzzword that I've seen thrown around about one of the larger problems is the worsening "surveillance state" - the inability to escape or avoid being constantly monitored and tracked by corporate entities that sell your personal data like its their own stock on the world wide market. I know people try to get around this by using VPNs and services that delete your data from information brokers, but honestly, I am just not convinced that any of these things truly work in the ways that would bring me peace of mind. I get how they can be helpful to avoid things like low level identity scams or even annoying advertising campaigns, but I've combed through enough information on this topic that - unfortunately - I think the kinds of powerful people whom I'd actually most want to not have my data are the ones that simply don't lose their access to it once they have it. and I'd ideally like to stop feeding that profit in whatever ways I can.
the second big thing for me that was really difficult to admit to myself is that the internet is just not what it used to be. I try to avoid leaning on this word because it's so overused in so many ways, but online culture is just so incredibly toxic. over the years I've slowly pulled back from all forms of social media other than tumblr, and tumblr was the last bastion for me in a number of ways purely because you can curate your feed so much better here than you can on other sites. I have many friends here that are wonderful people and I'm so grateful to have met, and those folks have made my time here really worthwhile in a number of ways.
but the honest truth is that the toxic mindsets of general social media spaces have been slowly encroaching even here on tumblr as well, and I didn't even realize how much it was affecting me until very recently because I'm so deliberate about who I interact with and the kind of spaces I try to be present in. but... it's still there, still filters in through all the memes, and it still slowly messed with my head until I couldn't take it anymore. x'D and now I'm exhausted and burnt out.
this was really hard to come to terms with because the internet was my safe haven as a kid/teen in a way that I had in no other aspect of my life. I try not to be too open about this because I don't see the point in airing out too much of my dirty laundry in public places, but I grew up in an abusive household and additionally was bullied severely in school. some types of vent art that I made as a teenager would not be permitted on multiple social media platforms because of the number of content warnings I'd have to use on them. many incidents were the kinds of things that - at least on movie screens - people consult law enforcement over.
I had no escape, no hope, no friends, no sources of true peace or comfort, until, of course, I found the internet. my parents had controls on some of the big things (lmao like p0rnhub for instance), but they weren't terribly tech savy and I learned from a young age how to get around certain things. it was like the whole world opened up to me from there. :'] I made friends, I had my harmful beliefs challenged, I learned to seek out community by exploring my creative interests, I learned to normalize some things about myself that I'd been shamed heavily for irl, and I started discovering what it meant to be a person rather than just an obedient prop in the corner of my own life.
it was this monumental change of personhood that has left me clinging on to the internet for as long as I have, making it more of my life than my actual rl pursuits for basically as long as I can remember. but I'm no longer a child without autonomy, and the reality is that I can choose to do things that enrich my life in wonderful ways out in the world, instead of confined to my living room couch behind a screen. I also have the power these days to get involved in local community and lend my support to vulnerable people in ways that feel worthwhile and meaningful. and by comparison, the online surveillance, the toxicity, the black-and-white thinking that does me more harm than good; everything the internet has slowly morphed into over the years is just not good for me anymore. I'm ready to make it into a smaller part of my life.
after doing a lot of soul-searching on this, and looking for ways to build joy in my life away from the internet, I've decided I will be stopping use of this tumblr account by the end of this year, December of 2026. c: <3 I'm not going to delete it; in fact I'm leaving everything intact and will be contacting close mutuals with how-to-reach me details and such. if you don't hear from me directly in the next couple of months please feel free to reach out if you'd like to stay in touch! c: very possible I didn't forget about you; just wasn't sure if we were close enough for you to want to hear from me. xD
I went ahead and moved the "fihyn" url over to my art blog, which until this point has been titled "fihyn-art," but I'm also going to be significantly slowing down activity there as well. I will be putting some more specific details about my arts-related presence into a statement on that blog either later today or tomorrow morning, so if you want more info on that, just keep an eye out over there. ^u^
I may not reblog much else to this blog even though I'll be present & logged in here for a good amount of time still, mainly because I'm going to be returning to more regular activity on my bgêŁ blog at "ranger-jahen" as soon as I can and at least up until the end of the year, maybe longer depending on what I'm able to get wrapped up before then. by the time I get all my ducks in a row, I'm going to leave at least one more post here detailing which very few places you'll still be able to find me online (such as neocities), and which previously-used pages of mine I'll be deactivating (my xitter for example has been left untouched for years, and I'll finally be taking it out back. xD) I'll also be unfollowing all except those who I've had at least friendly-acquaintance levels of communication with. I know it won't technically matter if I'm still following you from an inactive blog, but hey, it just feels right to leave those in place haha.
if you read this gigantic wall of text then you are a true friend and I hold you dear. ;u; thanks for following my silly lil reblog stash for so long and supporting me, tagging me, and just generally making my time on tumblr as positive as it could be. feel free to message me any time if you need more info on any of this. <3
