And the thing is. The thing is. Blitz knows this. Blitz it is blatantly, painfully aware that he and Stolas were never meant to match, to the point where the idea of them matching sounds like a sour, unfunny joke.
His first reaction to the suggestion of spending time with Stolas, both as a kid and as an adult, is "ew."
Because what the fuck would he and a royal even need to be in the same room for if it isn't to steal from them? What are they gonna do, talk? Have fun? Fuck???? That's just not... a possibility. Their worlds are too far apart. The two of them don't exist in the same universe; they're not meant to tell the same story.
Even after Blitz gets used to the idea that Stolas wants to be in his general vicinity, the idea that it might be for anything other than sex, that it might be unironic, is outright offensive to him.
And at first, it's not hard for him to brush it off as a joke and keep things light. "It's a transactional fucking, you see? Heh." *quickly changes topics*
But as the show progresses, and their relationship (and his feelings) become more complicated... after Blitz starts wanting things he knows he'll never have...
It stings. It really fucking stings to know deep in his heart that he and Stolas were not made to match, that there is no universe in which they do. It hurts, because he wants it, he wants that real deal with Stolas, but he knows he will never have it. And when people bring it up, when they suggest Stolas genuinely likes him...
He bites. He lashes out, he gets mad, and then he turns his face to hide just how much the thought of it hurts him.
And then Stolas confesses.
And Blitz wants to believe it. He wants to. He wants to, he so wants to—
And he lashes out. Because he can take anyone, anyone else bringing up Stolas having feelings for him; but he can't take Stolas doing that. It's too much. It's too painful, and can Stolas not see? He only needs to look at them to know they don't match! That they're ridiculous together! That Stolas is so big and powerful and worthy and Blitz is none of those things!
It takes until the end of Apology Tour for Blitz to truly internalise that Stolas might actually have wanted him. And even then he doesn't understand how. And he expresses as much.
But Stolas, in his drunken, broken-hearted state, isn't able to understand where Blitz is coming from.
Because that's the thing: Stolas doesn't see this at all. He never has.
To him, Blitz was always an equal. A friend. A lover. The man he's deeply in love with. Blind to the differences between them that were so obvious to Blitz, Stolas never thought to have a reason to not be serious in his feelings for Blitz.
Not when they were kids and Blitz was presented to him as a friend.
Not when they met again as adults, and his first instinct was that Blitz wanted to reconnect.
Not when Blitz loudly complained whenever he felt Stolas was treating him like a joke.
Not when he confessed his feelings and Blitz lashed out at him for breaking his heart. Not when he was angry, and sassy, and broken-hearted.
Not even when he sacrificed himself to save Blitz's life. This was the closest he came to stating Blitz's life held less value than his own (that Blitz was a worm; too dumb, too small to come up with a plan worth punishing), and it was all an act, a ruse to convince the rest of Demon royalty that he was the one who deserved to take the blame.
To him, even then, they were equals—and if one of them had to pay for what they had both done, he was willing to take the fall if it meant knowing Blitz would be safe.
It isn't until Sinsmas that it hits Stolas at last. That his fantasies were outrageously foolish. That he and Blitz truly do look ridiculous together. That the two of them were never meant to be.
And Blitz (very much affectionately and lovingly) is like... duh? Is it just hitting you? Of course we look ridiculous together. We always have.
Because, to him, this fact has been painfully clear the whole time.
But that doesn't matter anymore. Because despite the trainwreck their relationship has been, they've gotten this far and managed to find their way back to one another.
And nothing as silly as "fate" is going to tear their love apart.
