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@blog-2000
A big mood:
I woke up feeling a sewer slider kinda way and have been shopping for bridges on Google Maps for the last half hour 💀
I'd be unstoppable if I didn't have to worry about time or money or having a body
After that I stepped so far back no one could get near me.
Michael Ondaatje, from The English Patient
I wanted to get you a car instead of buy some dumb couch, but that turned into a fight. I would've been happy working as you went to college for whatever dream you had, including tattoo artist like you had talked about, but I was "preventing you from working", as if I didn't want extra help. You made everything that happened my fault, and disappeared, unwilling to talk at all. Sure I wasn't stable, you were leaving me, and you were what made me stable. You made it clear everything was final, and clear I had nothing I could ever do about that. Yeah it still fucking hurts, and yeah I'm still bitching. I'm still trying to move on. But clearly if it were so fucking easy for me, I wouldn't be here like this right now. You had an effect on me, long lasting as it is, and I'm sincerely sorry for my failures as a human being. I know nothing will go back, ever. I just... wish I didn't feel like this. I wish I didn't care at all. It'd be so much fucking easier to not care about you or whatever you're doing at all, to treat your memory as just that. Sorry I can't do that, I know I'm a piece of shit.
Omfg I didn’t see this til now but legit my roommate and I were laughing about your stalker ass earlier wtf 💀💀💀 of all my exes you were the biggest loser, I can’t believe I let you try to wife me up like what? 3 months after we got together? 4 maybe? Like bro, you got with me less than two weeks after I’d turned 20 and you were like…30? Your prefrontal cortex was(supposedly) fully developed and you dated and then were engaged to a 20y/o? Yikes dude, like, my frontal lobe is fully developed and I won’t date anyone below 21… that’s some predatory/groomer shit. I’d also just been disowned by everyone I knew less than 2 months beforehand and you really used that desperate need for love of a lost child to your advantage. For real Wade, aren’t you like 37 or something? Get a life my dude, ain’t you got a kid to raise? Or did you lose him too? You’re a felon because you hit a small child on the head hard enough for his teacher to see later at school. You’re a pathetic excuse for a human and stalking me FOUR YEARS after I left you is just evidence of your pissbaby disposition. Go kick rocks. 🖕🏻
my hands aren’t my hands. this body feels so far away from me. i just wish i was dead.
I just want to give up I’m tired from the bottom of my fucking soul like I don’t want to do this shit anymore like let me rest please I’ve had enough
"Everything with you was an adventure, even eating red lobster at the park on a hot summer evening with swans gathered on the long green grass mere feet away."
Moka Lynn, A future full of empty