Kpop Fangirl

I write scenarios for my co-kpop fan. You can request by clicing the message button. (: I also do fashion blog, very rare though.

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He's topless and I don't care. /trying to believe myself/

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excuse me, Jimin! Did I even allow you to strip? OMG OMG OMG!

(c) to the rightful owner

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Hi, I was just checking status of a scenario request I submitted on 10/14 of Xiumin. Just checking to make sure you received it & if it will be written. No rush. I understand people have lives. I just want to know so I can still wait. Thank you!

I don't have any request with Xiumin on the list. Will you please send another one? I'm sorry and thank you ^^

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Title: Invisible

Characters: Chanyeol and You

Genre: Angst

Requested by: Jollyhug

A/N: For those who requested, I am not doing any SMUT. Send me another request if you still want me to write a scenario for you. Thank you!

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“You know that wasn’t funny!” I said half shouting. Chanyeol made me fall to his prank again and that made me so pissed, okay maybe beyond pissed. I somewhat can tolerate his silly jokes and pranks but this time is an exemption. I had enough and this prank was just too much, too much for me to tolerate anymore. He knows how much I hate and how I'm scared of insects yet he threw it on my way, right in front of my face. I froze on the spot as I saw a not-so-big-but-big-enough-spider crawling on my skirt all the way up and I can’t help myself from tearing up and just then I saw him laughing his stomach out in front of me. Isn't he so mean? I know we're friends but isn't that too much for a joke? “I’m sorry, you know how much I lo—“, “shut up, Park Chanyeol!” I exclaimed crying before walking past him. I am really pissed or maybe beyond pissed. He knows how scared I am when it comes to insects, especially spiders but then he took that as an advantage to scare the hell out of me. I just can’t understand him, we are friends but all he does is pisses me off and scares me. As soon as I step inside my apartment, I run all the way to my room and then threw myself in my bed. “Really stupid.” I managed to say before tearing up once again. I love Chanyeol, I really love him but all he does was scares me and make me cry. I don’t know why I can’t stop myself from loving him, it’s just that I did, and then I never stop. I love him but he didn’t feel the same way. Unfortunately, he loves someone else. He’s dead over heels to her. Despite of the fact that he is always pissing me off and makes me cry, and then let’s add that fact that he loves someone else, those didn’t stop me from continuing this growing feelings of mine for him. I know, I know. I am stupid but how can I not love him when he is also the reason why I smile?

“I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean it.” He said scooting next to my seat. I bit my lip making thin line and then try my best to act like I didn’t care and heard him at all. I need to pretend that I didn’t hear him, after all it was his fault, he also needs to learn some lessons. He knows me very well and that made me feel so sad. He knows my weaknesses but then he uses it against me. That’s so lame and mean! “Hey~ Notice me, yuhooo~!” He tried once again but this time he is also poking me by the arm, disturbing me. I turned to him and then beam him an angry glare before turning my head back to the board where the professor is discussing about the subject. He didn’t stops from bothering me and all I just did is ignore him, his existence, and his silly way of getting my attention. Inside of me, his effort made me smile but I can’t forgive him that easily. He always brings me trouble and somewhat he needs to learn his lesson. Not every day is I am here to tolerate his childish act, I can’t, and I also have my temper that can be full any time, and with him I know I will reach my edge any time soon. Moments later, I caught him staring at the window, I followed his gaze and then saw the girl of his dream walking elegantly. His mouth slowly curves a smile and his eyes start to light up. I felt a cringed inside my chest but I managed to ignore it, or at least bear it. This is the hardest thing in my life when it comes to love, seeing the one I love loving someone else. You don't have any idea how hurt I am. We are friends, just friends until I commit a sin, I fell in love with him. I don’t know how, when, or why, I just did and it’s so confusing. I rolled my eyes and just listen to our professor since it looks like he will start zoning out at any moment. I bit my lip so hard to stop myself from cursing or mumbling words that wasn’t needed. Couple of minutes later, I felt him snatched my hand which makes my heart pounds in an instant. I turned to him and then gave him a look, “What?” I asked quite irritated. “D-did you see that? I-I mean her!” He said smiling stupidly while looking at me with eyes full of hearts as if he’s in heaven. Oh Ghad, someone can just kill me now? I blinked and then I conclude that he wasn’t really looking at me but zoning out. It’s just a matter of coincident that he turns to me. “I don’t.” I answered bitterly and then yanked my hand back forcefully. That act didn’t make him fly back to reality so I hardly smacked him in the head. “Ms. Kim? What are you doing?” The professor exclaimed as he looks at me with burning eyes. Chanyeol who seemed to be back in earth now stares at me confusedly.  “Nothing. I’m sorry, seonsaengnim.” I answered then bow. The professor gave me one last look before continuing and I looked away. “Ya~ Why did you do that?” The boy who is sitting next to me mumbled. I ignore his questions and just tried my best to focus my attention to the lesson. Soon enough, he gave up from bothering me. Good.

“I’m sorry again.” He said as we both seated to the tree house that we both only know. This place is so special for the both of us because this is where we both met. This is located at the nearest forest but far enough from any danger. This is a perfect place for us to think. I went here an hour ago and after thirty minutes I heard his footsteps near my position. I turned to him and then he gave me his sheepish look and smile, raising the plastic bag he is holding, I can already smell the sweet scent of it. Cheese cake. He really does know how to tame me. “I know you were here.” He smiles cheekily and then I looked away, avoiding his gaze that is so intense and inviting. I wanted to run up to him and engulf him with a hug, but I can't. After I realize my feelings for him, I act somewhat awkward towards him, and guess what, he doesn't seem to notice it. Oh well, I am not surprised though, I know that his attention is on her. “Come on, forgive me already.” He said with a pout but I ignore him, at least I am trying my best. “I’ll give you this cheese cake that you really love if you forgive me.” No, don't budge. “Come on, I also bought your favorite orange juice. I also bought an ice cream, it's on my house.” I sighed and then turned to him. “I hate you! But I love what you brought!” I said snatching the bag from his hands. I catch how he smiles and that made me smile too. Oh boy, what should I do to you? I really love you now to the point that I can’t really stay mad at you, not even a single day.

Days, weeks, months had passed but things are still the same. Chanyeol is always watching her from a far, and me watching him doings those stuff. I don't get him really. I have told him for so many times that she will never notice him if he keeps on hiding. I have told him to give up and then find somebody else, but he refuse to. She don't even know him, yet he keeps on telling me that he will have her soon. I just want to open his eyes and show him reality. He is invisible in her eyes, just like my feelings for him, it will stay invisible unless spoken. It hurts so much that she made him smile a lot without even trying and here I am, making fun of myself yet he wasn't even giving me a single glance. I wanted to be her, but then I also don't want to. I want to be her so that he can love me, but then I want him to love me as I am. It's so confusing!

“Come on, Yeol!” I whined as I tried to pull him up, but it’s no good. He remained unmoved. We still have class to attend and yet here he is, staring lovingly to his all-time-crush Kim So Eun. We have been here for almost half an hour now and it looks like Chanyeol doesn’t have any intention of leaving the area, not even for a second. I took a deep sigh before trying again.

“Yeol, come on! We might be late! Get up!” He turns to me only to just send me a smile. What was that mean? This stupid little chick. I gave up and then stood up, ready to leave. I don’t want any more trouble for today. We both have been in detention last week because of the same reason again, he watches her practicing her dance skill. And please, she doesn't have the move, she's not good in dancing unlike me. No, I am not being boastful but that is the truth. She is not good in dancing but Chanyeol praises her like she is the best dancer in the world. He also told me that I am good in dancing but he never watch me practicing, maybe he did but that only twice! Speaking of detention, I don’t want to spend my time in there again, never again.  “I’ll leave first, Yeol!” I exclaimed but I received no response from him. Maybe, he doesn’t hear me at all. I rolled my eyes and then turn my back to him. I took one step away, two, and three. I sigh before turning around again, facing his back. “YA! PARK CHANYEOL! DO YOU REALLY PLAN STAYING HERE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?” I shouted and that made him look at me, finally I have all his attention. He sighs and then watches her for the last time, I swear that last time took ten minutes, before getting up from his seat and then walks towards me. “You don’t have to shout, silly kid!” He said pouting while ruffling my hair messily. I slapped his hand away and then beam him a glare. Kid, that’s what I am to him. That’s what I am to him. I sigh and then started walking towards our class. We are thirty minutes late and I don’t think our professor will let us slide this time, possibility of that happening, 0.01 percent. Great, just great!

“This is your fault!” I said glaring at him. We have been sent to detention again, for three hours, isn't that great? I hate it! I really hate being sent to detention, its hell! Chanyeol gives me an apologetic smile while he scooted next to my seat. I turned to him and give him a don’t-you-dare-sit-next-to-me-look, just then, he raises both his hands up in the air and then took the seat which is one chair away from me. Well, at least there’s a gap. I bit my lip and then bury my face on the desk. I always include myself in trouble when I am with him, but the sad thing is I can’t leave him alone. As much as I wanted to leave him, my heart dictates me not to, so does my brain. It seems like he owns my heart and brain, and my only job is to keep it functioning for his own good. Moments later, we both heard that familiar girly voice, which actually made me tremble. I straight up and then turn to Chanyeol only to see his mouth slowly curving his famous big silly goofy smile, I quickly furrowed, hating the reason of his smile. His eyes follow her figure as the said girl walks in front of the detention room. I rolled my eyes, too tired of watching the same scene over and over again. At some point, I think that he sometimes or maybe always did this on purpose, this going to the detention room. I can’t blame myself from thinking that because the girl’s room was only adjacent to the detention room, maybe he’s doing this on purpose only to see the love of his life. His eyes will always light up whenever he saw her, it almost twinkle actually, his lips will curve that beautiful smile, and then his right hand that will slowly hammers his left chest unconsciously. Bet it, I am always hurting myself by just watching him do that stuff. Like, can I not be the reason behind those silly movements? He stares at her in awe, like the way I did to him. He likes her and I can’t even tell how much, all I just know that he surely likes her so much that he won’t even bother himself looking for other girls out there, to other girls like me who is just beside him. “You are an idiot.” I quickly covered my mouth after I hear myself saying those words. What’s gotten to me? That was meant only inside my head. I turned to Chanyeol who have his eyes wide open, so does mine. “What did you say?” He asked and I quickly shook my head. “Nothing.” I whispered but still loud enough for him to hear.

“I will ask her out!” He mumbled as he looks at her. My mind seems like it stops from thinking and I felt like my world stops from spinning. I turned to him only to see his burning eyes, his eyes, those motivated eyes. Can those just stare at me for once? Maybe you will know that this heart of mine only goes towards you. I felt how my heart starts to shatter. It felt like my heart was a snow that falls for thousandth time. I know Chanyeol loves her but I don’t think that he will ask her out soon since she’s in a relationship. “You know she won’t accept you.” I muttered silently but enough for him to hear. He smiles and then turns to me, “You know how persistent I am. I’m going to win her heart, just you watch!” He exclaimed proudly with his eyes shining beautifully. Chanyeol is a special person for me, I like, love him to the point that it hurts. It hurts so much.

“Tell me, do I look good?” He asked me as he smiles to me. It’s already been a year since that day he told me that he will asks her out and guess what, she agreed. She broke up with her boyfriend after Chanyeol’s confession. I can’t believe it. He appears in front of her only for once and he makes her agree in just one sentence. She doesn’t have any idea that Chanyeol was always there behind her, always watching her, he’s invisible to her until Chanyeol decided to show up and reveals himself. And here I am, only a shadow in a fading light, invisible. That day, I officially become an invisible figure just like my feelings for him. “You always look good, Yeol.” I answered honestly although my heart is breaking apart. I can’t let him feel so down, after all he deserves all the happiness. If I could, I would collect all the happiness and then give it to him. All the happiness in this world, I am willing to give it all to him. He’s my most precious man, and I can’t bear to see him sad. So, even though it hurts me I supported his decision. He wants to date her and I cheep him up, wishing him good luck. That day also, he smiles at me, the smile of being thankful.

I can no longer hide my feelings, so for good I avoided him. I can’t help myself from breaking down whenever I saw him with her, happy and all lovey-dovey. But, I am afraid. What if one day a boy will come and confess to her again, will she stays with him or broke up with him just like what she did to her ex? With that thought all over my head, I decided to stay behind him, watching him. I can’t bear to see him in a state where I am in now. He doesn’t deserve it. He doesn't deserve to have a broken heart, so I am going to protect him with all I am. Even though this is heartbreaking, I know I can manage it, at least for him. I’m used to this ever since I decided to keep Chanyeol to my heart. I am always watching them from a far. I am always observing the scene and I am happy to see him smile and laugh. We barely talk but I can care less, as long as he is happy, I can manage all the pain.

Time passes by, they celebrated their 100th days of being together, and that is also the time when my heart turns to its smallest pieces. He kissed her in the lips and I saw it with my own eyes. I don’t know what to feel but I choose to feel happy. It hurts but this is what I want. I want Chanyeol’s happiness.

“Are you okay? You seem so pale.” He said while touching my forehead. I pulled away from him, from his touch since I can’t take him close to me, not anymore. I don’t know how to keep my front if he’s doing this to me. After their 100th days’ celebration, I told them that I needed to go. I can no longer handle the pain and I also know that they also need their privacy. I went home with my eyes streaming hot waters. For the first time, I let myself cry. Just for that day, I let out all the pain, silently screaming all the things I am hiding inside. For that one day, I let myself let out the pain I am holding for years and it felt so good. “I’m okay, don’t worry.” I said and then rolled to the other side of my bed. It’s been two days already ever since that day, but I can’t seem to move on. The kiss was flashing inside my head and I can’t help but feel so sad. Unconsciously, tears start to run down, I only notice it when Chanyeol mentions it. “Ya! Why are you crying?” He muttered and then jump on my bed, forcing me to sit up and look at him. He wipes my tears and then flicked my forehead. “What’s happening to you? Where does it hurt?” He asked while shaking me. My heart, it’s the one that is hurting. Oh how I wish I can tell that. I look into his eyes, those beautiful eyes of him. I see him worried and that made me smile a little. “And now you’re smiling, are you crazy?” He stated smiling. He pulled me towards him, making me lands to his chest. Slowly, I raised my hands up and wrap it around his torso. “It hurts!” I let out and cry. For once, let me cry in front of him. I promise to stay strong after this. He didn’t say any word but just hug me back. I felt his arms wrap around me while he pulls me closer. Today, I felt so much better. To be in his arm, it felt so right, yet so wrong. But most of all, it felt so safe. I am happy, for once I know I am happy.

Today, I have something that I want to do. Before it’s too late, I want to do it for at least once. I took my phone and then tap the green button besides Chanyeol’s name. Fortunately, he picks up after the second ring and I smile to myself. “Yeol, can I ask you a favor?” I muttered quite feeling shy to ask him. “Uhm, yea sure.” He answered that made me feel nervous. I raised my right hand and then slowly hammer my left chest. My heart is beating so fast and I am slowly losing my breath. “Are you free today? Can you… can I ask you out?” I heard him chuckles next in line that made me a little more nervous than before. I keep silent until he answers my question. “Yea, sure. A friendly date, is it?” I nodded and mentally slap myself. “Yea, before I go.” I stated. “Sure, I’ll pick you up at 2.” I smile and tell him okay before we hang up. Today, I won’t hold back. I will do everything I want to do with him, for the last time, I will spend my day with the love of my life.

I dress up neatly and then paint myself lightly with makeup. I walk towards the mirror and see the lanky me. Sometimes, I still managed to smile. In this world that full of darkness, he’s the only one that becomes my source of light. With him, I am willing to run without any fear in this world of darkness. With him, I know I am safe. For the last time, I will hold onto him. For the last time, I will depend on him. For the last time, I will make him my everything. And even if I get rebirth, I will still choose him.

“Let’s go there, please!” I said pouting my lips cutely, I know he couldn’t resist it when I am acting cute towards him. He sighed and then chuckles before nodding his head. I cheered and then pulled him towards the photo booth. “Get ready, giant!” I teased and then smile. I caught him smile too before retorting “You get ready, dwarf!” I stick my tongue out to him, just then when the first shot was captured. It’s kind of cute because I was looking at him with my teasing face and tongue out while he was looking at me furiously. We could make a cute couple, almost. The second one is we both doing the peace sign. Third, is me on his back making face and he laughing. The fourth one is he goes on my back and then force me to piggy back him, even though he didn’t give all his weight on me. The fifth one was we circled our arms to each other’s shoulder and then wear a big smile. “This is the last one!” He exclaimed and I nod. As soon as the countdown went to one, I tip toed and then kiss him on the cheek. I stuck my tongue out and then hurriedly left the booth, waiting for our photos to be printed. Soon enough, Chanyeol went out and then pays for the bill. “Would you mind if I display your pictures here in our booth? You are indeed a cute couple and I know customers will be please to avail our service if they see it here.” The ahjumma stated as he pointed their displays. There are also lots of pictures of couples. “Ah, we are—“, “Sure, ahjumma.” He cut me off and then smile before taking my hand and then pulls me to somewhere he only knows where. “You shouldn’t let them.” I mumbled under my breath, still flustered when he did not deny the ahjumma’s word of us being a couple. “That’s no big deal. Let’s go!”

We rode lots of ride and it’s already getting dark. I took his hand and then pull him to the last ride we are going to take this night, the Ferris wheel. “This is the last one.” I announced and he nodded. We waited patiently until our turn. We hop inside the cable and then closed the door before locking it. I look at him and smile. “Thank you for keeping me company today.” He smiles sweetly and then shrugs. “No problem.” The whole ride will take fifteen minutes before it ends and I decided to confess when we were on top of the ride. Soon enough, we are almost on top and fireworks start to invade the dark blue starry sky. He was looking outside, watching the fireworks display. I was about to start my confession until his phone cut me off. “Oh, it’s So Eun.” He announced. My heart starts to feel the hurt again but I decided to stay strong. “Please, don’t pick it up.” I pleaded. He turned to me with questioning look and then, “Huh? But she might have something to tell me.”, “I also want to say something important, please talk to her after this.” I said but he decided to answer it anyway. I looked away and just stared at the window, admiring the great view of Seoul. He talks to her at his phone and when it ended. “I’m sorry, but can we go now? She’s waiting for me at home.” I nodded and then we just wait for the ride to end before we went home. The whole ride was awkwardly silent and it’s starting to kill me.

“Park Chanyeol…” He turned to me before looking back to the road. “About what I am trying to say a while ago.” I started. “Yea, about that. What is it you want to say to me?” I was about to say something but then he already cut me off. “We’re here.” I looked through the window only to see that we are in front of my house. “About that—“, “Let’s talk about that tomorrow, I really have to go now.” He said with an apologetic look. I nodded and then get off the car before he drives away. My sight becomes blurry as tears start to flow down. Why can’t it be the two of us? Why can’t we be lovers? I don’t want to just be friends. I enter my dark house and just sit on the couch, just the same old tired and lonely place. It’s been lonely without him and lonelier with him slowly parting away from my grip. I stood up and start making my pace back and forth, across the room, wishing you were at my door, but who am I kidding? I stared at my suitcase that is lying on the floor; I don’t have enough time for tomorrow. Maybe, my feelings will just remain unspoken. I am just so stupid, thinking that one day will come that you will finally notice my heart. Maybe, I will spend my life forever waiting for you to love me back, forever.

For once, memories we shared flash inside my head. There I was again, faking smile. My tears run down, can we be just like others? This question lingers inside my head, can you really not love me at all? I love you, Chanyeol. I love you more than anyone could do. More than you can ever imagine. I started to love you ever since you protect me from all the girls that bullied me. You are always there to comfort me when my parents died. You are always there when I feel so down. You are always there for me. You made my heart pounds rapidly without even knowing. You made me feel so safe, you are the only one. I need you in my life, you are the other half of me. With you, I am willing to face this cruel world. With you, I am willing to take any risk. I am willing to give you your happiness, that’s how much I love you. These are the words I held back but I am leaving now. I don’t’ have enough time to tell you what I really feel.  I hope, you will be happy forever, because your happiness is also my own happiness. Goodbye, Park Chanyeol. I will always love you, forever and always.

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Any fan of AHN JAEHYUN? OMG! isn't he sexy? ;; ☺

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Title: Special (Trouble's SEQUEL)

Characters: Kai and You

Genre: Fluff

Requested by: few readers ♥

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“What happen to your lips?”

My friend asked as I sat beside her. I touch my wounded lips and then cringed a little when I felt it stings. That Kim Jong In! I swear, I might kill him when I see him around. I took my bag and search if I still have bandage to cover up the wounds because seriously, it wasn’t beautiful in the eyes. I looked like a gangster with this wound. I secretly cheered inside when I see two bandages. I took the one that is smaller than the other before unpacking it and put it at the side of my lips where the wound is located. Although some part of the wound is still showing, at least I have covered the other part. The wound isn’t really small. He bit me really hard, seriously. Looking at myself through my pocket mirror, I flinched. Now, I know I look like badass girl who just have a fight. My friend asked again and I came up with my silly lies,

“Just bit my lips really hard.”

She just nods before doing her things. I leaned on my chair and recall what happened. How dare he kiss me? He even bit my lips, that stupid pervert Jong In. Our professor came and that’s the cue for us to shut our mouth. Well at least for me that’s it. The professor just discuss about things that I barely understand because my mind was flying away. I’ve been thinking about the kiss, I can’t move on. I mean, I also like him and the kiss is somewhat turns me on. Yes, I’m still angry that he kissed me without my permission but receiving kiss from your crush, it gives me the tingling feeling and the holy butterflies. Who wouldn’t want to kiss their crush? I just received it not in a romantic way. Wrong timing, it is. I shook my head to have my mind straight. No, this is not the time to have that tingling damn feelings. I shook my head again and force myself to listen to the professor who is talking in front. Wake up, ____-ah! You’re upset, got it?

***

“Hey, there!”

I looked to my side to see who the heck pokes me in the waist, and to my disappointment it’s the cold, arrogant and perverted boy. I made a face and decided to ignore him and just enter our classroom. Why do I have a class with him? I want to not attend the class, but heck I don’t want to look really affected even though I really am affected. I rolled my eyes and just sit to my designated seat and just buried my face on the desk. Keep your cool, don’t be so distracted. I tell to myself. After a minute, I felt a presence beside me. Right, I forgot to ask her about our past lesson. I raised my head and look beside me. I was about to retort something but his smirking face is the one who greeted me. Sucks! What again?

“Why are you here?”

I asked glaring at him, half-whispered, half-shouted. He smirked and then face me before leaning closer to me, being the more careful me, I automatically move backward. He laughs while pointing at me. Being beyond pissed, I took my book that is resting on my desk before throwing it to his face. It didn’t lands in his face but to his shoulder. Bad! Too bad! I should practice more to hit my target. We are now the center of attraction as I felt all eyes on me, us actually. I couldn’t blame them, I am having a stare fight with Kim “Kai” Jong In. I heard some girls gasped and cursed me to death while some are just having a bet whether Jongin will hit me or not. He slowly blinked before staring at me with his burning sexy eyes, never mind the sexy just erase that please. I swallowed and then stare back at him. His mouth curved a little before standing up. He took a glance at me before walking to his proper seat. What? Wait? He’s weird.

“Interesting.”

I heard him say before settling to his chair. I released the air I’ve been holding before sitting straight. That Kim Jongin boy really knows how to make me feel so pissed. I buried my face once again as I heard our classmates cheering about him or her who wins the bet. Great! What a great game, I should bet the next time. Kim Jong In, he is also interesting. He has no temper, he is really short-tempered and it is quite amusing that he didn’t do anything to me. I didn’t mean that I like him hit me, I would never like that. What I mean is, like him saying hurtful words, or insults me, or even tried to hit like what he sometimes do to his crazy fangirls. There is this one time when he raised his hand and about to slap the girl in front of him when she didn’t listen to him to get out of his sight. The girl was so motivated to give her gift to him. Jongin refuses it and about to leave her behind but the girl blocked his way not even wanting to let go. They have a little fight and being the short-tempered-Kai, he raised his hand to slap the girl just then his friends came and stop him. It was really unforgettable because I am right in front of them. I am watching the commotion and that is also the day I told myself not to get close to him. That he is dangerous. That he will just bring trouble. That is the day when I made up my mind that liking Jongin is one of the mistakes I have ever committed but I couldn’t stop myself. That is also the day I realize that I am fine admiring him from a far. As soon as I didn’t bring myself close to him, I will be fine. Back to reality, soon, the class started.

“I hope we can be partners.”

My seatmate exclaimed. I nodded agreeing to her words. We are having our final project and it is best to be partnered with a brainy girl. We may not be friends but we are both comfortable to each other’s company, so there will be no problem to work with this project together. Some of our classmates are already cheering, congratulating each other because they paired up with their friends or with the smart kid. I remained quiet as I anticipate for my name to be called and hopefully to be pair up with my lovely seatmate.

“Park Minji…”

We looked at each other anticipating the next name.

“…and Kim Hyun Soo.”

Our mood both fell but smile anyway. Maybe we aren’t really meant to work together. I wish her good luck and then she excuses herself to talk to her partner. I remained silent as I wait for my name to be called.

“Lee ____...”

I looked at our professor when I hear my name being called.

“…and Kim Jong In.”

Did I hear it right? My seatmate who just got back nudges me and then smiles. Now, I am doomed. Just the right thing to ruin the beautiful day.

“You’re with Kai, you’re so lucky.”

I made a face. Not so lucky, dear,  if you only knew.

“No, not lucky. I don’t want to be paired with him.”

“Let’s exchange partners!”

She cheered suggesting. My face brighten up for sure before I nodded and we high-five. After our professor finish announcing partners, I raised my hand. She called me and let me stand up.

“Is it okay if we exchange partners?”

“Yes, if your partners both agree.”

I smiled before sitting back. I nudge my seatmate and she smiles back. Whoa~ Now, I am the lucky girl.

“Any more question?... None? Okay, dismiss.”

Everyone stood up and leave the room. Minji and I both stood up and made our way to our partners. I stand up in front of Jongin and nudge him. He raised his head to look at me,

“I know you don’t want me to be your partner, so we’re exchanging.”

I called Minji and she immediately made her way to us, smiling. I am guessing, does she have crush on him?

“She will be your partner. I’m done, by—“

“Who said I want to exchange partners?”

He said pulling me by the arm. I yanked my arm back before glaring at him. He smirked before snaking his arm around my shoulder before pulling me close to his body. Disgusting!

“I will be your partner, period. Excuse us, we have something to discuss.”

He said before walking out of the room. I tried to free myself but he keeps on insisting, so soon enough I gave up and just let him drags me to whoever know where. We walked together with his hand gripping my wrist. A moment later, I felt his hand on mine. He’s holding my hand. I don’t want to really admit it, but my heart is beating fast because of it. I looked away not wanting for him to see my flustered face. This is not right, gosh!

“Ya!? Aren’t you tired? We’re walking for a while now, you know!”

I said whining. I am wearing three-inch high black shoes and swear, my feet start to hurt. He turned to me for a moment before smiling. The smile is different, really different.

“There!”

He said pointing ahead of us. I made a face and just let him drags me to the place he wants to go. Once we settled down, he let go of my hand. I really want to protest because of the lost contact, but duh! He glances at me before taking something from his bag. I looked away and just scan the place.

“Come here!”

He announced. I looked up to him and to my surprise, he’s holding a mini first-aid kit. I gasped shock, what’s gotten to him? He looks at me in the eyes and I felt electricity run down my body. He smiles genuinely and then moves forward, reaching for my hand. He took my hand and then pulled me close to him.

“I just got bought these.”

“What are you doing?”

I asked still shock as he peels the bandage out of my face. I winced a little and he chuckles. For goodness sake, he chuckles. Can someone do me a favor and record this? I looked at him still so shock and he chuckles again. Ohmygod, I want to cry. Okay, I am over reacting. This is the first time I saw him smile and chuckles without his friends around him. He never, as in never smiles when he’s in public or when his friends are not around. So this sudden is a shock to me.

“This will hurt a little.”

He announced before taking the bud on my lips and to its side that also has wound. I cringed when I felt it stings.

“Does it hurt?”

I nodded stunned. What is he doing? Why is he doing this to me? Was he really the Kim Jongin I know? He scooted close to me as he brings his face near to mine. I almost felt his breath on me. He was so focusing on applying cream on my wound as he didn’t notice me staring, or so I thought.

“It’s not good to stare.”

“I am not staring!”

I defended averting my gaze away from him. He smirked before adding force on the bud that made me flinched.

“Ya! That hurts!”

“Shut up, then. And stop staring.”

“I told you I am not staring.”

“Sure.”

He answered sarcastically. I pouted and then looked away.

“Can you not make this hard for me?”

I looked at him confused. What does he mean? I am doing nothing, like duh!?

“What did I do?”

“Stop pouting, it’s so inviting.”

I blushed then bit my lip.

“I told you stop it, don’t blame me then.”

Before I could even respond, I felt his soft lips on mine. My eyes went big just like saucers, okay that’s exaggerating. My eyes widened in surprise. I want to pull away but I am getting drunk, addicted, overdose. He pulled away when I am in need of air. I went red and then looked away. Why did I let him kissed me again? I sighed,

“I’m leaving.”

I said standing up but he quickly pulled me back.

“I’m not done yet.”

I thought he meant not done helping me with my wound, but then he never fails to surprise me as I felt his lips on mine for the third time of the day. And also for the third time, I let him be. What is wrong with me? We’re not even committed and yet I let him kiss me. I’m such a flirt. He pulled away after some seconds.

“It took me three years to actually do this.”

He blurted out of nowhere.

“What?”

I asked confused again. He rubbed the back of his head and then chuckles.

“I like you for three years now. We attend same high school, if you didn’t know.”

“Really?”

His face fell and I tilted my head to look at him.

“I thought you at least find me familiar but you’re not. You’re such a stupid girl, aren’t you?”

I glare at him but at some point, it brings smile on my face.

“I followed you, which made me attend this university. I have read that boys with cold and arrogant attitude can attract girls. I want to really attract you but you never looked at me. I have been chased by other girls but the girl I want to attract wasn’t looking at me.”

“You mean me?”

He nodded that brings big smile on my face. So, he likes me?

“Yes, you. You’re the stupidest girl I ever met.”

“Where did you read that?”

“You know, manga… novels.”

“Seriously? Novels?”

I said almost laughing. He flicked my forehead.

“Don’t laugh~ Get up and let’s have a date.”

He said packing his things. I burst out and started laughing.

“Shut up or I’ll kiss you again.”

“Sure.”

I said seriously. He smirked and then took my hand.

“Later, maybe after our first date. I’ll shower you with my kisses.”

He said smiling. I squeezed his hand and he looks at me.

“I like you for a while now, Jongin. Maybe not as long as you liking me, but I like you and that’s for sure.”

He smiles contentedly before giving my cheek a peck. I heard some gasps around us as we walk.

“We’re in public, Jongin.”

“I don’t care.”

I looked at him curiously.

“Why are you not glaring at me whenever I call you Jongin? You like being called in the name of Kai, right?”

He smiles.

“Because you’re special.”

He answered smiling. You too, Jongin, is special.

--

I know this is so late and I'm sorry, I've been really busy because of our thesis and it will be over soon, so more updates after that. yey! Hope you guys are happy to know this. XD

Anyway, I just realize that Kai is really a sweetheart. I wonder why he is not my bias.

Anyhow, my request box is open, request and I will do it when I have time ^^v

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Title: Baekhyun: News

Characters: Baekhyun and You

Genre: slightangst, fluff

Requested by: boyfriend_4min

--

I am studying for our final examination next week. It has been hell since last week ever since I started studying hard. I have to pass the exam, I don’t want to repeat my subjects because all of it is so damn hard, too hard for my brain. I stood up from my chair and then walk to the kitchen to take something to eat. It’s already eight in the evening and I have to eat my dinner or else I will be a zombie later night. I can’t afford myself fainting because I’m starving myself. I need energy to continue my study session.

I cooked something that is easy to cook and is also nutritious. After I have finish eating, I wash the plate and utensils I used before walking back to my room. I sighed while closing the door behind me. I throw myself in my soft bed and then rolled around searching for some relaxation. I get up and then took my laptop and then logged on in my facebook account. I scanned my news feed, liking some of my friends’ statuses and pictures. They post extra pictures today and it’s quite amusing. I’ve been having fun and enjoying my internet surfing session until I saw something that really caught my damn attention. I blinked for how many times before widening my eyes. What? This can’t be.

‘SM confirmed that EXO-K’s Baekhyun and Girls Generation’s Taeyeon are dating.”

“What the eff?”

I froze for a minute or so. How could that be even possible? That’s really impossible, beyond impossible for exact. Baekhyun is mine. I mean, I am in a relationship with EXO-K’s Byun Baekhyun secretly. I am dating him, we are dating secretly. My heart starts to pump faster and faster getting nervous. I am having a second thought whether I should read the article or not. Am I ready? No. Definitely not. How could a person be ready to read something about her boyfriend dating a girl which is not you? I took a deep breath before clicking the article making it redirects to the article’s section. I’ve read the article. I am about to not believing what it is written on it, I do not believe in them at the very first place until pictures revealed. It pains me. I felt my heart clenched. Air seemed to be hard to breathe and my heart seemed to be hard to beat. I found it hard for breathing. All the pictures and assumptions, it all makes sense. Why is he smiling? He looks so happy and that’s heartbreaking.

“Why?”

I blurted out unknowingly. I stared at the pictures, the one where Taeyeon is smiling happily. Does she not know that the boy next to him is off the market? He’s mine. What is she doing with him? What is he doing with her? And then at the picture where Baekhyun’s face was lightened by his phone screen light. What are you doing that time Baek? Are you texting me that time while having your good time with Taeyeon? My tears start to run down. It’s suffocating. I am in need of air, I can’t even breathe. What I am seeing is too much. Pictures, pictures, it all made sense. His looks in those pictures are really heartbreaking. He looks like having the best time of his life. And there go those couple items, similar instagram posts and then those captions. Fuck it! I get fooled. I bit my lip suppressing my cries. It pains me how I get fooled by the man I love the most. I get fooled by Byun Baekhyun. Just then, I saw my phone lit up. Crying, I took my phone and then stared at the screen. It says “Byun Baekhyun is calling…” I stared at my phone as I cry, tears dropping to my phone as some are flowing down.

The call ended but I remained staring at it, stunned, stiffed, unmoved. What should I do? How can Baekhyun do that to me? Again, my phone lit up telling me that someone is calling and it is no other than Byun Baekhyun himself. I didn’t answer his calls. I can’t, I don’t want to. What will he says? Is he going to breaks up with me? Confessing that he fooled me?  Or he will says that those aren’t true, but how can I believe his words? I trust him, so much that with those pictures my heart breaks and I am having second thought. I don’t know who to believe, but I don’t want to talk to him. I am not yet ready. I don’t know what he will say, so I need to man up. I can’t do that today, I can’t talk to him, not now. But then, my mind flew and began concludes decision. They are dating for four fucking months and I remained clueless. He cheated on me for about four months now? What exactly is he up to? I throw my phone to the side of my bed letting it rings as he calls. Soon, messages arrived and arrived and arrived. I don’t care anymore. I closed my eyes trying to forget what I have read and see.

The pain keeps on haunting me. Tears didn’t stop from flowing. How can Baekhyun betray me? Of all people, why him? I cried and cried and cried. I can’t stop myself. I am hurt, devastated and lost. Why doesn’t he just break up with me before? Why did he choose to stay even after he already finds a replacement to me? Of all people, why does he choose me to play with? I rolled to the other side of my bed and just cry. All I can do now is cry. Whatever I do, I will end up thinking about him and how he plays with me. How he plays with my heart. It pains me.

I spend the whole night crying. I can’t just control my emotions. What happened to me is too much, too much for my handling. I fallen asleep while crying,

“B-baby~ Jagiya~”

I rolled to the side of the bed as I felt someone tapping my cheek. After a second or so the tapping went on again. I tried to slap whoever is doing it until I realized that I am living alone and the possibility of an intruder came into my house that’s planning of killing me is high. I guess all the bloods inside me have been drained as I felt another poking. I froze, all tense.

“Jagiya~!”

My heart puts into an ease as I recognized the voice. But then, my heart clenched immediately as I recalled what I have just read before I fallen asleep. I slap his hand away from me and then sat up looking at him.

“Don’t touch me! You, get out.”

I shouted pointing my room’s door. His eyes widened feeling hurt because of me shouting at him, that’s new to him so to me too. Wow, I am the one who should be feeling the hurt now. I am the one who is in pain and not the other way around. After what he have done, after he plays with my heart, after making me feel like a fool falling in love with the jerkiest guy living on earth. Wow, just wow. I forgot to change my apartment’s security code, my stupidity. He knew my apartment’s code since I’ve told him so he can just walk in as soon as he arrived long time ago. Now, the situation turns upside down. He’s no longer invited anymore. He’s no longer welcome anymore. I remembered how he talks with me about his sunbae he does admire the most. I remembered how he describes her. I remembered how his eyes show happiness whenever he sees her. I remembered all those times and that’s made me feel more horrible.

“Jagiy—“

“Don’t call me like that. You… you disgust me. How could you? H—“

“Please listen to me. Ple—“

“No! You get out of my house!!”

I shouted standing up from my bed and then dragged him out of my room and if also possible out of my life. I love him, God knows how much I love him but I don’t want a cheater in my life. I don’t need a cheater. Even though I love him so much today, I know someday, someday I will forget about him. And the first step is having him out of sight, out of my house, out of my head, out of my heart and soon out of my life, completely.

“____-ah, will you please listen to my explanation?”

“Explain what? That you are having so much fun playing with my heart, so you didn’t tell me?—“

“No! I mean, Taeyeon and I—“

“You know what? Get out! And please don’t come back again!”

I said sternly and then turned around about to leave him behind and just walk back to my room to mourn. It hurts as heck. But then a hug from behind made me stays on the spot. His warmth, his hug that I missed so much. This is bullshit, I am stupid. I felt hot tears running down. As long as I want him out, deep inside me I am wishing for him to be stubborn and stay. I miss him, I love him, so much. Was it wrong to love him? Was it wrong that I fell in love with a celebrity? I looked down and cry. I can’t help it.

“_____-ah, please listen.”

He said turning me around. I looked down, not wanting to see his face. I don’t want him to see me like this. I look horrible, pathetic. I love him but he loves someone else. I hate it! I hate to admit it but I lost. He cupped my face and then made me look at him. I closed my eyes. A second later, I felt him kiss my cheeks, my tears and then my both eyes.

“Don’t cry… baby don’t cry.”

I opened my eyes and then stared at him. No, you don’t. Don’t do this to me. Don’t make me suffer.

“If you love… no, why did you not tell me about you and… and her?”

I asked stuttering. It seemed like it was hard to speak after what I have read. I should not let him in. I should not let myself fall for him so hard.

“Listen, please listen to me. I am telling you, I am not dating Taeyeon sunbae. It’s just that, I only love you ___-ah. Please believe in me. The company…”

“You’re not dating her? What about the news huh? And… and the pictures!? You look incredibly happy with her, how can I believe your words? I don’t know Baekhyun, I don’t know.”

I shouted while crying. I don’t know now. He’s making me feel like shit. Was this his tactic to let me stay, so he can still play with my heart? Was this some kind of comfort for me to not get hurt? I had enough. I don’t want to make my wound any deeper. If he’s with her, then he can leave me. I can handle myself.

“No, please listen. Look at me, _____-ah. Look me in the eyes and tell me if I am lying.”

I bit my lip but still force myself to look at him. There’s only one way.

“I only love you, ____-ah. No one else, Taeyeon and I are just pretending to cover up Kris’ lawsuit. I am against it but they force me. I have to do what they have told me to do, I was forced so please stay with me until the end. I, we lost a friend, I can’t take it if I will also lose you.”

“If… If you are lying I swear. You should tell me now. I do not want to get hurt again, Baekhyun .”

I pleaded.

“Do I look like lying? Listen to my heart then, it’s beating just for you.”

He said snatching my hand and then put it against his left chest. It’s beating fast, so fast. I bit my lip and then hug him tight. I don’t want to lose him either, but then I don’t want to be fooled.

“I love you, jagiya~! Please always remember that!”

He said before he kissed my head. He’s pulling me close to him as I felt him inhaled my scent.

“I miss you.”

He whispered before pulling away. He cupped my face and then wipes my tears away.

“Don’t read any news about me and her, it’s all fake. Okay?”

I nodded and then pull him for a hug. I will trust him and just hope that everything will be alright. He pulled away and then kissed me on the lips.

“I love you, you and you alone. Remember that. Always remember that!”

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Title: Realization

Characters: Lu Han and You

Genre: Angst

Requested by: luluexolulu

--

I stared at him as he talks. His eyes flicker as he stares on what is in front of him. I unconsciously smile as I admire his features. Everything about him is really worth admiring, his eyes that twinkles, his nose that is so perfectly suit his face, his lips that never say a lie, and his face that is so angelic. He’s a really good man, his heart is so soft for everyone. He is Lu Han and he is my friend. I’ve met him two years ago.

“Excuse me, can you tell me how I can get here?”

I asked stopping a man from walking. My family and I moved in from Korea to China and I am quite not familiar with my new university. In short, I am a complete alien to this place. It’s a good thing that I know how to speak in Mandarin since I took it as units of my course way back then. The man turned around and then looked at me before shifting his gaze from me to the map I am showing to him. I froze for just a second after I met his eyes, it’s a beauty. I looked at him and then he stares back.

“Where do you want to go?”

He asked. I shook my head a little reminding myself that it is not good to stare at someone for that long. I smiled genuinely and then pointed the admission office. He nodded and then tells me the direction which I can’t really follow and understand. I scratch the back of my head and then bowed.

“I’m sorry, but can you repeat it again? Slowly if possible, I’ll take note.”

I said feeling sorry for disturbing and giving him such a hard time. I bit my inner cheeks feeling really shy because the man just chuckled but nodded anyway. I smiled happily and then took a small piece of paper and a pen inside my bag before writing the direction that he’s saying. Fortunately, I wrote everything. Now, I can go there without being afraid of getting lost or anything. I bowed and then smiled.

“Thank you very much, mister—“

“Han, Lu Han.”

He said smiling. He looks like an angel, a real angel. Lu Han. I smiled and then offered my hand for a shake hands which he accepted while smiling sweetly.

“I’m ____, Kwon _____.”

We become friends after that. He tours me around the university. I get to know him more and also he gets to know more about me. He’s friendly that’s why he has lots of friends. I never thought that I’ll be friend with him since I am really the shy type girl who refuses to make friends but he changed that. Lu Han stops from talking and then looked at me.

“Are you listening?”

He asked. His hair flips back as the air hits our place. He closed his eyes not wanting any dust to make contact with his dark but admirable eyes. He has scar on his lower lip but that only made him more attractive to the eyes. He opened his eyes and then runs his hand through his hair, combing it. He glanced at me and then smiled.

“You are listening, right?”

I smiled and nodded. Of course I am listening, I can’t miss a word that runs out of his kissable pink lips. He grinned before putting his arm around my neck pulling me close to him, close to his chest. I fake a cough before grabbing his hand.

“What do you think? Isn’t that a good idea?”

I yanked his hand away and then shot him a glare. Although my heart is pumping a little faster than it used to, I don’t want him to treat me like his boys friends. I am a girl and that closeness is too close for people’s eyes. I don’t want them to make wrong assumptions even though I like the thought of me being partnered with him. No, I am not in love with him, I just find it cute that I am being partnered with him. I am just admiring my friend’s beauty, nothing else.

“I don’t know, but you can try.”

I said assuring him. He’s telling me about his plan this weekend. He’s planning on asking Mei Xing out. He’s been crushing on her since first year. He keeps on telling me lots of things about her. It’s not that I am jealous or what, I am just not interested. I mean, I don’t care if she wears white ribbon today that actually made her looks extremely cute or if she smiles sweetly to anyone who greeted her. As far as I am concern, his love life is his privacy and he shouldn’t let me know things about it. He’s a man and I’m a woman, sharing love secrets between two opposite gender is quite awkward. He smiles widely and then nods.

“I’ll try. I hope you’ll help me.”

“Why me? There’s Kris, or Lay, or Tao, or Chen, or Xiumin who can help you. I’m out of this!”

I whined not wanting to get involve. I maybe his friend but I don’t want myself to get involve about his personal life. I am friend with him but not too close. Not close enough for me to intrude his privacy and vice versa.

“I need your help. I want to practice my confession.”

He said with puppy eyes and pouting lips. Oh ghad! This man is really not a man at all. He’s a kid. He’s a puppy, a very cute one. I sighed defeated and nodded agreeing. He’s still my friend and what he wants wasn’t a big of a deal after all. I will just help him practice his script and then viola, I’m done. Suddenly, I felt him grabs me and then hugs me tight. My heart starts to beats faster and then I felt something foreign inside my tummy. It is somewhat ticklish and I feel so light-headed. I smiled awkwardly and then pat him by the head.

“Enough, little boy. Let go of me before I could kick you.”

He chuckled and then pulled away scratching the back of his head. He’s so cute.

“Sorry, just got carried away.”

Anyhow, I still shot him a glare before looking away.

***

“What should I say?”

He asked next in line. After our meeting in the cafeteria, I went home to rest but then Lu Han called me right away for help. I don’t get him, I know she would probably accept him. He’s one of a kind. No woman can turns him down. He’s a boy that every woman wants. Well, except for me because I know he isn’t my type. But considering his personality and looks, no one can turn him down. Not with that cute and adorable face.

“Just say you like her. Go straight to the point.”

He didn’t reply after me. I waited for about a minute but still he’s silent. I was about to end the call but his voice stops me.

“I like you.”

He whispered lowly (of course) but I can still hear it. My hand froze, my world stops from spinning and my heart began beating, faster and faster. Why does it felt so weird? Why am I like this? What is this I am feeling? Do I have feelings for him? Do I like Lu Han? No, it can’t be. We are friends. I know I like him as my friend just like how I like the others. But what is this feeling? I am sure that we are just friend. I know that he wasn’t my type. I can’t like him, just can’t.

“Lu—“

“Was that okay? Ugh! I can’t think anything, that’s the only word that came out of my lips. What should I do ____-ah? I don’t know what to do now.”

He asked obviously panicking, and after that, I felt my heart clenched. Why am I feeling something weird these past few weeks? I am not like this, I do not know what is happening to me. Is this some kind of sorcery? I bit my lip and then knock my chest. Why do I felt like something inside me is hurting? Am I sick or something? I shrugged the thoughts away,

“I’m sleepy, Lu Han. Let’s talk about it tomorrow.”

I stated feeling sleepy. I heard him sigh before speaking. I’m sorry!

“Okay, good night sleepy head, and sweet dreams.”

I smiled and then nodded even though he can’t see it. Stupid me.

“Good night also. Bye!”

And then I hang up.

***

  “Good luck to you, I hope you’ll win her heart.”

I cheered patting Han’s shoulder. He smiled to me before nodding and then he went out to go to his date. I could still feel the weird tingling inside my chest. It somewhat makes me hard to breathe. I decided to check myself and visit a doctor next time. I already made an appointment tomorrow and I don’t know if I am ready. What if I have heart disease? What if I am dying? What if I have a disease which is not curable?  Oh no! I don’t know what to do anymore.

I spend the day by watching television and eating healthy food. I can’t bet that I am not sick or that everything is fine because obviously it’s not. I always have this feeling of flipping my heart upside down or like stabbing my own stomach. These feelings are so foreign to me but I can’t ask my mom or my dad what’s wrong with me. They’re busy working and I don’t want to bother them. I turned off the television before lazily walk to my room to sleep.

I’ve been lying on my bed for about an hour now. I just can’t seem to sleep. Something is really bothering me but I don’t know what. I rolled to the other side of the bed and then roll and roll. I really can’t sleep. I took my phone from my night stand and then saw one missed call. I unlocked my phone to see who called me just to see Han’s name on the screen. I sighed and about to exit the logs but then I remember something.

To: Lu Han

Still up?

I check the time on my phone and it says 11:37PM. I waited for two minutes before I received his reply. I didn’t bother to read his reply and just tap the green button signaling for call. Fourth ring and he finally answered.

“Ne, ____-ah?”

“I can’t sleep, Han-ie~”

I pouted aware that he can’t see me. I heard him chuckled and then cleared his throat.

“Should I sing you a song?”

He asked offering. I didn’t think twice and then nodded. I cleared my throat before saying yes. He paused for a second or so before starts humming. After so, his voice began to touch my ear, his angelic voice. It sounds so sweet and comfortable. He finished singing and then asks me again,

“Still can’t sleep?”

“Yes. I don’t know something is bothering me.”

“What is it?”

“For the past few weeks, I always have these weird feelings inside me. I mean, I somewhat felt so happy without any reason and then sometimes my heart clenched making me hard to breathe. Do you think I have this kind of disease in heart?”

“When are you feeling those?”

“I don’t know when exactly but maybe… hmm when I am talking to you. I remember I felt those weird feelings when you talk to me last time when you ask me about your plan for Mei Xing.”

He remained silent. Does he think I still have words to say?

“Han? Han-ie? Still there?”

I heard him coughed.

“Yes, still here. I don’t know how to say this, but ____-ah… d-do… do you like me?”

“Of course I do. You’re my friend an—“

“I didn’t mean that way. I mean, like, as in like more than friends.”

I paused. Do I? I guess not. I just like him as a friend.

“No. I like you as my friend, why did you ask?”

I heard him sigh and then speak,

“Oh, that’s good. Anyway, that’s nothing maybe you just need some rest. Relax, sleep more. I hope that’ll be over soon.”

“Okay. I do. Anyway, what happen?”

“She said yes.”

I sat up and then smiled.

“I told you she will like you. You never believe me.”

“Okay, okay! Look, you are right and I am sorry.”

I chuckled.

“Congrats to you then.”

“Thanks, anyway—ops! Oh no! Call you later, she’s calling me.”

“No, don’t call me. I’m going to sleep after this call.”

“Okay, goodnight!”

“Goodnight.”

And then, he hangs up. I felt this weird feeling again. I lay back to my bed and then hovers my blanket to mine. I closed my eyes before forcing myself to sleep.

***

Every day that passed things gets clearer and clearer. And now, I finally understand what I am feeling inside. I finally understand what those mean. I am in love. The worst part is, to my friend. I don’t know how or when and this is insane. I never thought that I will fall for him. It’s hard for me to admit it but as days passed by, I get more miserable. I always see them so close to each other, so sweet. And every time I see them, I get hurt. It’s unusual and I don’t know how to fix it. Lu Han does not hang out with me more often anymore, he became busy with her. He picks her up to her house and then accompanied her when she on way home. He always eats lunch with her, and dinner sometimes. I miss him. I miss his presence. I miss things he does when he’s with me. It felt so empty without, him but what can I do? He’s off the market. He’s already taken and I don’t want to ruin his relationship because of my stupid one-sided-love. I realize that I love him, but it’s already too late. How I wish to realize my feelings for him a little early, when we’re still close to each other, when we are still laughing next to each other. I realized now, but it’s too late. I never thought that I’ve liked him for a while now and now I realize he’s with someone else. Sometimes, it’s not about the butterfly who tells you you’re in love because sometimes it’s the pain.

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Title: Restrained

Characters: Kai and You

Genre: I'm not sure but WARNING! Some words aren't appropriate for minor >.<

Requested by: Kaigirl123

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I do not write SMUT fics but this contains some intimate encounter.

P.S   KAI : Trouble and Suho: Almost Perfect will have SEQUEL, as you guys wish. ^_^

--

Today, I decided to take my relationship with Kai to the next level. I mean, we’ve been in a relationship for about two years now and we don’t have any progress aside from having innocent kisses. He never touches me, as in never and somewhat I am longing for it. My friends have done the deed even when they were just committed for two months. But us? We are already together for two years now and we did nothing aside from kissing and making out. I know that we aren’t married couple, but was it wrong to do it with the person you loves the most? I guess not. I know we are both ready to do it but what stops him? I love him and he loves me, so what’s the problem? At first, I thought he was just all shy to initiate and nervous but whenever I take the first move he will either go to the bathroom or excuse himself to leave because he forgot some important things to do.

Was it because of me? Am I not qualified? Did I not smell good? Do I have bad breath? Am I not sexy or beautiful? Am I not his standard? Does he not love me much that he can’t do the deed with me? I am ready but I guess he doesn’t want do it with me. I know he is ready but why not with me? I don’t know the problem, his problem. I am getting frustrated and confused thinking if he still loves me or not. He turns me down twice and I felt so insecure. Am I not beautiful?

“What are you thinking?”

Kai suddenly asked me. I turned to him and then shook my head. Today is his only day-off for the whole month and we decided to spend it together watching movies. He smiled to me sweetly before taking my hand intertwining it to him. It fit perfectly! It seemed like we are made for each other. He squeezed my hand making me look at him.

“Tell me, what’s on your mind?”

“It’s not important.”

I answered before looking back to the screen. We are watching a romantic comedy movie and the scene is not helping at all. The boy pulled the girl close to him and kisses her roughly. They move their heads to the side deepening the kiss. I felt his grip loosened and also saw him gulped. I bit my lip and closed my eyes. Why can’t we do it? Why can’t he do it with me?

“Kai-ah~”

I blurted. I open my eyes and stares at him in the eyes. I am longing for him. I needed him. Why can’t I have him completely? I am getting more frustrated after I watched their concert last weekend. He moves so sexy and that turns me on. I am not a sex maniac, really not, but he really turns me on when he dances sexily. The way his hip moves, it’s juts ugh. I can’t explain really but it makes me feel so hot. I bit my lips as he turned to me. I leaned closer and closer until I felt his lips on mine. I’ve kissed him. I am the one who initiate the kiss. It’s awkward but I really can’t control myself now. He doesn’t move that made me worried. I pulled away,

“I’m sorry, I’m just—“

Before I can even finish my sentence, he pulled me back and kissed me. I smiled and then kiss him back. He puts his hands on my waist lifting me up before pulling me to sit on his lap, my legs at the both side of him. I circled my hands around his neck before he pulled me close making our bodies touch. It makes me hot and loses control. His hands started to draw circles on my waist. I rested my fingers in his head making me feel the soft touches of his dark hair. I pulled some of his hair as I felt his hand crawled beneath my shirt. His hand burned my skin. He’s so hot. His hand rested above my navel before flicking it lightly that made me gasp. Taking the advantage, he slides his tongue on my mouth exploring every corner of it. I tried pushing his tongue out but that just made the kiss more desperate. His hand crawled above and then rested in my right chest. I gasped quite shock. He never did this, this is the first time and the feeling is so foreign to me.

He pulled me close, if that’s even possible. I froze as I felt a hump brushing against my core. He’s hard. I unconsciously bit his lip making him groan. It was sexy making me wants to hear more. I move back and forth making our private parts grind into each other. He let out another moan as his kisses went down to my jaw. He leaves butterfly kisses before kissing back my lips.

His right hand groped my right breast. He massaged it lightly before moving faster. I let out a moan making me feel him a little more hard down there. He opened his eyes as he pulled away. He smirked and then crashes his lips on my neck, sucking, nibbling, and leaving love marks along the way. His hand went beneath my bra, making a skin to skin contact with his hand my breast. His hand was cold but it felt so hot. My skin is burning against his touch. He massaged my right breast as he kisses my neck before switching his target from my right chest to the left. He was about to kiss me on my breast when suddenly he push me back. Not harshly but our hot make out session stop.

“I am sorry, ______-ah! This is wrong!”

“What is so wrong with what we are doing?”

I countered quite offended.  He called it wrong. Is it wrong to do it with me? Does he really not love me? I am hurt. Why? Does he not want it too, the way I do? Was the feeling really one sided? Does he really not want me after all? All those thoughts run to my head. Does Kai not love me anymore?

“Oh no, don’t cry jagiya!”

He freaked out as I felt my tears run down. Why can’t I have him?

“Kai-ah~ D-do you… not love me at all? Don’t you want to do it with me? Am I not beautiful? Am I not qualified for you?”

I asked hurt. It pains me, it really hurts.

“No, jagiya! I love you so much, you know that. You’re the most beautiful girl in my eyes and I am thankful that I have you, it’s just that… it’s just that we can’t do it now. I want to claim you when we get married…”

He paused. He cupped my face wiping my tears away. He stared at me before continuing,

“You don’t know how much I restricted myself to do it with you. I always have the urge to make love with you but I just can’t. I mean, I respect you, and your family. I know that couples nowadays are doing it even though they weren’t married but I can’t do it with you. As long as I wanted to, I just can’t. You’re the girl of my dream and I want to do that in our special day. I want to do it on our first day being husband and wife.”

He said before pecking me on the lips. So, that’s why? So he loves me?

“Please don’t be sad. It pains me seeing you like this.”

I bit my lower lip ashamed of myself. Hormones! I hate to admit but my hormones are so active.

“I am sorry, Kai—“

“Sshhh! You don’t have to be sorry. It’s not your fault. I know I am handsome and sexy and you can’t resist me.”

He teased while smirking.

“I don’t want to admit it, but it’s true.”

I confessed. He then blushed that made me laugh.

“Ya! Don’t laugh.”

“I’m sorry, I just can’t control it. You’re too handsome, Kai.”

“I already know that.”

He said pulling me close as we continue watching the movie. Too bad, we don’t know what happened since we were distracted a while ago. He kissed my temple and then smiled at me.

“I love you.”

He said sweetly. I smiled and then pinch his cheek.

“I love you too.”

“Just you wait, ___-ah! I am going to have you completely, soon.”

He said smirking. I nodded and then chuckled along with him. I will wait, I hope my hormones could also wait for his proposal.

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Title: Almost perfect

Characters: Suho and You

Genre: angst

requested by: syera93

--

“I love you, too!”

He shouted while waving. I waved back giving him my sweetest smile. Suho and I have been together for about three months now. Next week, we will celebrate our 100th days of being couple. I am excited. I still remember how he follows me the entire day just to ask me out. I somewhat find it creepy but by just looking at him, my heart put to an ease. Suho is a good guy, he really is. He is like an angel that was sent for me. He is so kind and humble. He is really a boyfriend-material, scratch that I mean husband-material. He’s almost perfect. Almost.

The way he stare, the way he looks, the way he talks, he’s making it hard for breathing. I am stunned and dumbfounded every time I see him walks elegantly. He’s not the typical rich kid, he is different because he has heart for poor people. He’s helping some charities, and that’s a turn on. I never thought that that kind of boy will fall in love with me. I mean, what urge him to be with me? I am not rich. I am not beauty queen. I am not perfect. So, why me? But then, I chose to put those questions aside as I choose to follow what my heart is saying. I love him after all.

“Hey there, sexy!”

I chuckled as I turned my gaze to him. He smiled sweetly extending his hand for me to hold. I reached out and then intertwined my hand to his. I smiled while looking at our connected hands. His hand was so soft. I looked only to see him grinning. I raised a brow and he just let out a giggles. I pouted my lips and then he raised his other hand to pinch me on the cheek. I wasn’t hurt, that was nothing compares to what I am feeling right now. He leaned in and then pecked the cheek where he just pinched and then smiled at me. He pulled me close to him and then we walk together, side by side, hand in hand. The feeling is unexplainable. It was beyond perfect.

“Happy 6th months, I hope you’ll like it.”

I shyly said as I gave him my gift for him. It was simple but I made it myself. I am not rich so I can’t afford to buy him luxurious things or branded clothes and watch. All I can give to him is my sincere love and loyalty. He took the paper bag and then smiled,

“Thank you, jagiya!”

He said while smiling. That made me flustered as I felt my cheeks burned. He pecked me on the lips before opening the paper bag. He took the thing inside and then hugs me so tight. He likes it, I’m glad. I circled my hand around his waist and then mumbled “I’m happy you like it.” He pulled me away and then looked at me seriously.

“I don’t like it, babe. Because I love it. Thank you, I love you!”

He exclaimed as once again, he hugs me tight. I hugged him back and then rub his back up and down. He pulled away and then opens the box I’ve baked for him. I made cookies consisting of his face. Not exactly look like him, it was far from his look but I know he knows that it was him who I tried to picture. He had been bugging me to make him cookies but I refused since I don’t know how to, so when I got the chance I tried and practice to bake cookies to surprise him. He took the mini box that is still inside the paper box and then opens it.

“You made this?”

I nodded proudly and then he hugged me.

“You never fail to surprise me.”

I nodded and then took the box from him. I made him bracelet, which is similar to mine. It’s special because it was handmade and I made it myself. He took a deep breath and then smiles at me.

“It’s my turn.”

I chuckled but nodded. He took something from his pocket and then shows it to me. I gasped as I saw a diamond ring. The diamond wasn’t that big but I know that is expensive. I already told him that I don’t want to receive expensive gifts from him since I don’t want people think that I am dating him because of his money. I can’t accept, not now.

“Suho-ah, you kno—“

“I know you don’t like things like this, but please let this slide. I am really thankful to have you, I am so happy to be with you. I know that I am making things so fast, but I just want to assure myself…”

He paused and then smiled at me.

“Please assure me… that someday you will marry me. Please accept this as the seal of your promise. I won’t marry you today or tomorrow, but someday. Please, ____-ah, please accept my heart.”

I bit my lip thinking. Is this really it? Am I really securing myself to him? Are we really for forever now? Knowing that my heart is beating fast, I guess that is the answer. I love this guy so much. I am happy after I met him. I smiled unknowingly, I have good dreams every night and that was because of him. I began thinking about my future because of him and I take good care of myself because of him. Having him is a dream come true that I never knew. I love him, so much that I don’t know that I am in the future if I don’t have him. I smiled and then nodded.

“Of course, I will marry you, but not today or tomorrow but someday. Someday I will.”

He smiled happily as he kissed me on the lips. I felt light-headed but I am happy. Someday, I will marry this man. The man of my dream.

  Three years had passed and now I am here standing in front of the church feeling all nervous as heck. I took a deep breath before slowly stepping in the entrance. There are lots of people who will be the witness of this marriage, the wedding that I dream of. I unknowingly smile as I study the white-decorated church. By just looking around, you will know that this wedding is well prepared, of course it is. We are talking about Suho’s wedding after all. All the invited family and friends are all well dressed. I started to walk inside. I get very nervous, this is it. I am finally seeing him again.

“I am now announcing you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride!”

And then they kissed after the preacher announced them being officially husband and wife. I closed my eyes, feeling hurt on what I am seeing. I am supposed to be her. I am supposed to be the one kissing him and not her. I am supposed to be the one who say “I do” in front of him and the preacher. I am the one who supposed to be his bride. I am supposed to be his wife.  

“Why? Kim Joonmyeon! Why? Why are you doing this to me?”

I said shaking him. He says he loves me, he says he will marry me, but why is he breaking up with me now? I don’t know what I am feeling. Hurt? Hate? Devastated? He caused it. I am a messed now. He told me he loves me more than anything else. He told me I am the only one. What is happening to him now?

“Tell me… Suho… tell me y-you’re joking. TELL ME!!”

I shouted with my tears streaming down. He didn’t say a word but looked down. No, that was not I am expecting. I tried to make him looks at me but he never did. He keeps on looking away. He didn’t say a word, not even once. I desperately shake him just to make him look at me but he closed his eyes. I am hurt, beyond hurt. I feel so dumb. He takes my hands that were holding his shoulders before putting it down. He turned around and then left. He left me. He left me crying. He left me hurting. He left me broken. He left, for good.

I watch as how he happily smiled and bowed to people congratulating him and his wife. They are hand in hand, smiling genuinely. He’s happy with her. He moved on, of course, it’s been three years after all. But why can’t I? Why is this so unfair? He bowed and smiled to their visitors. I stared at them, at him, and then suddenly our gazes met. I froze while he stops bowing and smiling. He’s not happy to see me on his wedding day? I bowed a little before turning around feeling sorry for intruding on his most special day. I am still not over you.

I felt a hand stops me from walking. I turned around to see who it was just to meet the face I am missing so bad, the face that I missed so much, the face that I used to touch. He breathe and then yanked my hand back.

“Why are you here, ____-ah?”

“I didn’t go here to ruin your day. I am here…”

I took the ring I have been keeping for three years now. The seal of the promise we made together. This is nonsense now. The promise was broken now, and at least I am not the one who breaks it. His eyes softened as he saw what I am holding.

“I went here to give this back to you.”

I said extending my hand. I open my hand for him to see the ring he gave to me. I bit my inner cheek refusing myself to cry in front of him.

“But this is yours.”

“No, this wasn’t mine. This is yours, so I am giving this back to you.”

He nods understanding my words. He took and then puts it inside his pocket.

“C-can… Can I ask you a question?”

He looks at me and then smiled. It hurts me, how can he smile in front of me? Was he really over me? Of course he is.

“Sure, what is it?”

“Why? Why did you break up with me back then?”

“Look, I—“

“I just want to know the reason.”

He nodded and then took my hand.

“I love you, I really do. I never lie about me wanting to marry you. It’s just that, maybe… just maybe we aren’t meant to be. I mean, of course I have loved you so much but I’ve been in an arranged marriage. I slowly fall for her, I love her, much more than I love you. So, I choose her. I’m sorry!”

I nodded and then smiled bitterly.

“I almost thought that you and I are meant to be together. I thought after having you, my life will be perfect. But things happen for a reason. We’re almost perfect, Suho. I almost thought. Almost perfect.”

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Title: Trouble

Characters: You and Kai

requested by: Kai-alys

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Girls are screaming when I entered our classroom. Today is Monday, so loud screaming is a big surprise to me since majority of the class are all grumpy and lazy during this day. So, what happened? I greeted some of my classmates as I went to my seat. Settling my back pack, I turn around to peek on what is happening, but for no good I seen nothing since they are all blocking the view. What a waste~

“Hey~”

I cheered greeting my seatmate. He turns to me with a not-so-good-looking face before looking away. He still didn't change at all. Kim Jongin, let’s just call him Kai since he doesn't like it when people are calling him by his first name, which is weird for me. I mean, that is a gift from your parents but then he doesn’t like it. His name wasn’t bad at all. I mean, for me it’s quite appealing. He lazily buried his face on the desk not giving a damn about the commotion that is happening inside our classroom. I raised my hand and about to shake him but then I recall he is not friendly. He is the most conceited arrogant guy that I’ve ever met. He’s too proud of himself. Too confident. Yea, he is good in anything but then, is the word “humble” doesn’t exist in his vocabulary? He is somewhat cold and arrogant. He turns down every girl that confessed to her harshly. He will sometimes say hurtful words that will surely break a girl’s heart. He doesn't have a heart.

He doesn’t like girls, yea maybe. I’ve never seen him talking to a girl in school, except when someone is confessing to her. He’s the top student that also made him popular, but not that popular since there is this group of boys called “BAP” who is more popular than him. Despite that, he still received lots of gifts everyday and the hurtful thing is, he will throws it right in front of your face or he will insult it. That’s him, the Kim Jongin that I know.

“He’s coming!”

My friend exclaimed. She’s admiring him since day one. If I am not mistaken she met him inside the dance studio of our school and he’s dancing alone. He’s so good in dancing to be honest, I’ve seen him dance once and it was breathtaking. He looks like a dancing machine. His body movements are sharp and fine. He looks like a professional dancer even though he’s just a beginner.

“You should give up. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

I told her for maybe about hundredth times. To be honest, I also have this little crush on him. It begins when I saw him in the music room playing piano as he hummed a song. I am a music lover and I fall deeply in love on it. So when I saw him playing his fingers along the piano keys, I began admiring him. And what made him attractive to my eyes is his passion on what he is doing. He put his heart on whatever he does and that’s a turn on to me.

“Don’t tell me you don’t like him? I’ve caught you staring at him at the gym when he plays basketball.”

“Exactly! We both like him and I swear, we both can’t have him. Look at how he treats girls. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I will still try. You’ll never know, maybe he’s just waiting for me to confess.”

“As if he knows your name.”

I answered before rolling my eyes. I like him, but that doesn’t mean I will confess. I know that he is so out of my league and I can take it. I have  accepted it long time ago.

***

I pat my friend’s back as she cries. I knew it! I know that he will turn her down. That’s why I keep on reminding her, but then she never listens. It pains me seeing her cry but what can I do? I know how she feels and even when I am at her shoes I will also cry even though I know that there is just 0.000000001% that he will likes me back. Kim Jongin is the cold type of guy who doesn’t care about girls. He gets rid of them as soon as they came close to him.

“___-ah, leave me alone please. I know you already told me that he doesn’t like me but it still hurts like hell. It hurts when he says he’s not interested in me."

She paused.

"He even called me slut.”

She says crying. Slut? He says what? What the hell? I know he’s arrogant and heartless but I can’t let him slide this time. How dare he to call my friend a slut? He doesn’t even know who was she but then he already comes up with that description. He’s being too much. As much as I like him, I also hate him to the extent. I rubbed my friend’s back for the last time before standing up.

“I’ll be back. Text me, okay?”

She nodded and that’s my cue to leave her and find that great Kim Jongin. I walked along the hallway. It’s already lunch, so most probably he’s on the canteen. I made my way to the canteen and when I arrived, I roamed the place trying to find where Kai might be. When I spotted him together with his group of friends, I made my way to them and then stand in front of them.

“Oh, are you going to confess to any of us or to Kai again?”

One of his friends said. Kai raised his head to look at me before looking back on what he is reading. That pissed me off, seriously.

“YAH! KIM JONG IN!”

I said raising my voice. I saw him rolled his eyes before returning his gaze on me with a smirk.

“No, I don’t like a girl like you.”

I scoffed. He’s really so confident. Remind me to take his name out of the list that I do admire. I bit my lower-lip before speaking,

“Apologize to my friend.”

I said sternly looking directly to his eyes. He smirked before completely looking at me. He looks at me from head to toe that made me tense for a minute. I recomposed myself before pointing a finger on him,

“You! You heartless guy, go and apologize to my friend.”

He smiled sweetly. The fuck man! I am trying to act strong, just please don’t act all handsome and cute in front of me! I can’t keep my cool.

“What did I do to your friend?” 

“You…”

What did he do? He rejects her and calls her slut. Right, that’s it.

“I, what?”

“rejects her…”

He smirked and about to retort something but I continued my sentence.

“And call her slut. How dare you?”

“How dare me? Is it my fault that she’s all over to me? Is it my fault to reject her because I don’t like her? Come on, think again.”

“But you’re wrong to call her slut. She’s a descent woman—“

“Descent woman won’t confess to a boy in her way. Did you ask her what she does to me?”

I am taken aback. No, I didn’t ask her. She just said that he calls her slut, but I really don’t know the whole story. I want to facepalm myself but nevermind.

“See? You know nothing. You must know things before you went here and act all brave. Cute!”

He said smirking. I bit my lip and then turn around about to leave, but I guess he really gets into my nerve as I find myself grabbing his glass of water and then pour it to his face before I can even stop myself. Everyone in the canteen remained silent for a minute or so before a loud thud can be heard in the four corner of the canteen. Kai stood up abruptly that made his chair fall backward.

Before I can even comprehend what is happening, I find myself being drag by the man. I yanked my hand back but he immediately catches it before slamming me on the nearest wall. This is so cliché, I’ve seen this in the drama that I’ve been watching every Tuesday night.

“You are seriously pissing me off.”

He said with gritted teeth. I stared at him with the same amount of hatred. Soon, he smirked making me tense. He grabbed my shoulder and then shakes me until I made an eye contact with him.

“Do you want to know what she does?”

“What? Okay then, show me—“

Before I can even finish my sentence, he crashes his lips to mine, kissing it roughly. I tried to push him away but he’s too strong for me. He bit my lips hard making me taste my own blood. He pulled away and then stared at me while smirking.

“That what she does. Don’t add the biting, I made it myself especially for you.”

And then he left. Just then I realize I am in a big trouble. He surely is going to make his revenge after what I did to him. He’s not known for being arrogant without a reason. I wiped the blood that is resting on my lips before walking away with my heart beating fast.

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Title: SEQUEL (We can't be)

Characters: You and Kyungsoo

Genre: Angst, Fluff

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It’s been a month but Kyungsoo stills with her. I don’t know what exactly he was trying to imply when he said I am the one who he truly loves but I still find myself waiting for him. I am stupid, maybe I am. I am the girl who can’t move on and stuck with this stupid thing called love. I don’t know anymore, whether to believe him or not. He’s with her and he is happy. He’s smiling genuinely and I hate it. Why am I so stupid to be fooled again? But then I can’t even turn my back to him. I’ve been stuck with him. I entered this world of him not knowing if there’s any exit. He’s happy but how about me? Why am I always the one who have been put aside? Am I really not special? Do I not worth it? Am I not worth to be loved? It sickened me.

“____-ah!”

I turn around to meet the transferee. He had been following me since day one and it was kind of annoying. Am I the only one he could ask about things? I mean, he have been asking me this and that. On the other side, I also feel thankful because he was there to talk to me when I lost all my friends after the break up. I knew it, they made friends with me just to get close to Kyungsoo. They suck! It’s really hard to find a real friend after all. I turned to him and ask,

“What again Mr. Kim?”

Kim Myungsoo, the new buddy in the university. He’s jolly and very friendly and I don’t get it why he chose me to tour him around when everyone is telling him no to get close to me.  I’ve heard some of our classmate telling him horrible things about me which is not really true. I don’t know if he believes them or not. But then, isn’t he weird? He heard lots of horrible things about me but then he still chooses me. Maybe, he was really just a good guy.

“Where’s the music club? I love singing, so could you—“

“No!”

I cut him off from his sentence. Lunch had passed, so most probably Kyungsoo is there. I don’t want to meet him now. I don’t know what to say or act if we find him there. So, better keep that topic off.

“Why? But I love to know where—“

“Okay, I got it. That’s our last stop.”

“But why?”

“They say, save the best for last.”

I countered. Please buy it! You need to buy it!

“Oh, you’re right. Alright then!”

He cheered and I let out the air I never thought I have been holding. He smiled cheekily which I find really cute and somewhat suspicious before snatching my hand. I tense up for a second before looking at our hands. Why is he holding me? I won’t get lost or what. I am not used to it. I am not used to people holding my hand, well except for Kyungsoo and his friends.

“Ahm… Myungsoo—“

I tried to speak up but being cut halfway.

“It’s nice holding your hand. It’s soft, let me eh?”

He pleaded with puppy eyes and how can I say no to that? He somewhat reminds me of Kai. Kai had been doing this a lot when he wants something. And being me, I always fall for aegyos. I just nodded and smiled at him before we continue our tour around the big university. This will be exhausting.

***

“You know what, they tell me things about you.”

Myungsoo started as we sat in the school cafeteria. I never thought that touring a transferee like him will be a pain in the ass. It’s so tiring, but at some point it was enjoying. Enjoying because I am with Kim Myungsoo, the jolly guy that can turn your mood upside down. He can make you feel happy by just cracking a silly joke. Being with him is not boring but definitely tiring.

“I know. I’ve heard it all. Maybe not all, but I always heard it from them.”

I answered plainly as if I don’t care. Actually, I really don’t care now. I’m getting used to it. I have been dealing with them for almost how many months and everything they say is nothing to me now. I am used to them, all their insults and such. I am not longer affected. If I tried to defend myself they will just tease me more so better keep my mouth shut. Sometimes, they will bully me but then there are also these times where they were scared getting near with me. As if they are afraid that someone will hurt them if they continue blabbing words against me.

“But I don’t believe them.”

I almost choke myself after hearing him said. I looked up to him and saw him staring lovingly to me. Whether to feel shy or disgusted, I don’t know. He smiled a smile that could light up your world and I found myself smiling back. He is really weird. He’s the first man who doesn’t believe with the words that they have been saying against me. Although, Kyunsoo doesn’t believe them too, because he knows me better than I know myself. But excluding him and his friends, Myungsoo is the only one who believes in me. It was refreshing, knowing that I could still made friends. I cleared my throat and composed myself as I leaned back.

“Why? You don’t know me at all.”

He smiled before answering,

“Maybe I don’t know you much, but I could tell. By just looking at you. It’s your eyes that are telling the truth. The moment I look at you, your eyes telling me that what they say are not true and I believe in your eyes.”

“You’re weird.”

I said almost chuckling. How could he? By my eyes? Isn’t that weird? I just smiled before sipping my juice and then roamed the place. I think there’s a purposed why I met him. Maybe for me to know that there are still people who I can trust. I should be positive, and meeting him is one way. I looked at my watch and it says six o’clock in the evening. I stood up that made him looks at me.

“Let’s go. You want to go the music club, right?”

He stood up and then took my hand. Look at him, as if he knows where we are going. I chuckled and then lead him to the music room. Lights are off, so Kyungsoo wasn’t inside for sure. I turned the knob and then entered the room with Myungsoo after me. I clicked the lights on and about to retort something but then I saw Kyungsoo lying on the floor. Panic kicks me, so I run to him. He’s pale and he looks so devastated. His eyes are close that made me gets nervous than ever.

“M-myungsoo! Help me. Oh my gosh!!”

I called out, tears almost running. Myungsoo looks so shock but still walks towards us. He signals me to keep calm as he tries to hear his heart beating. He was about to lean down to his chest when Kyungsoo opens his eyes. He sat up immediately that made their heads bumps onto each other. His eyes widened as he saw me beside him. Oh boy! I almost lost my life. What is he doing? I am worried to death. This guy, seriously.

“Arck! That hurts!”

The both of them whined. I blinked my eyes don’t know what to feel or what to react. So, he was just sleeping? And nothing happens to him? So, he’s okay? After all, he was okay. I release the air I am holding and then look at him. Why are you making me worried? Why are you like this? You keep on playing with my heart and I hate it.

“W-what are you doing here? On the floor?”

I asked looking at him. He glance at the guy next to the both of us and then to me. He’s really mesmerizing, despite the fact that he looks so pale and thinner that before.

“Are you with him?”

I nodded and then he pushed the boy away from him. Rude. Mean. Kyungsoo is really something.

“Why are you with him?”

“She’s touring me around. We want to go here but then we find you lying on the floor and that made her panicked.”

Myungsoo answered for me. I blush a little after hearing him explaining. Now, he knows that I panic when I saw him sleeping. He can just leave that information with two of us but then he tells him. Now, what? He smiled and then looks at the boy. His heart-shaped lips, ghad!

“What?”

“I’m Kim Myungsoo, I’m the transferee.”

He said extending his hand for a shake hands. Knowing Kyungsoo, he doesn’t like it so I have to nudge him just to accept it. He took his hand and then shook it for seconds before looking back at me. He stared at me and somewhat I felt a little scared. It looks like he stares to my soul.

“You go with me, now!”

He exclaimed standing up. Myungsoo and I stand up as well. Kyungsoo took my hand and then drags me away leaving Myungsoo behind. This guy is really rude.

“Yah!”

I whined trying to stop him from dragging me.

“Myungsoo! I’ll call you later! Sorry!”

I shouted knowing that Kyungsoo wouldn’t let go of my hand. Myungsoo smiled and waved at me, I waved back just when we turned to the corner. I tried to yank my hand back to me just for no good. Seriously, how can he be so strong? He just looked at me and then smirked. This handsome man doesn’t know when to stop.

“Yah! Where are you taking me?”

“I’m taking you home.”

He said laughing. I blushed but glared at him but then he just smiled. Can he just stop smiling? He looks so adorable for goodness sake. How can I stay mad at him if he’s this squishy?

“Bastard.”

I blurted that made him tightened his grip on me. It hurts, for real. Forcing me inside his car, he closed the door. We are now sitting at the back seat of his car. Him, looking at the tinted window while letting a sigh and me who is just sitting and staring in front of us. He looks back at me and then sent me a glare. What again? His eyes are so hypnotizing.

“I told you to wait for me but then you are flirting with the new boy!”

He exclaimed angrily. I snatched my hand back that he was still holding before sending back his glare. Now, it’s my fault? Who was the one who said wait for him but then the next day still flirting with his girlfriend? Definitely not me. It’s been him. He really has the guts to gets angry at me when he’s the one who isn’t fair between us? I really should just punch him the face to wake up.

“Excuse me, but I am not flirting.”

“Then what did you call that? You supposed to tour him not to call him. You already have his number huh?!”

He stated raising his voice.

“So what? He’s a friend. Why you care? It’s not like—“

“I supposed to care. ‘Cause you are my business, you are my girl. And mine alone.”

He said cutting me off pulling me into a deep kiss. With all my gathered strength, I pushed him away before opening the door and about to step out of the car, but then his strong arm stops me from doing so.

“Fuck you! I am no longer yours. Is having one girl not enough for you? Fuck you Kyungsoo, fuck you and your stupid head.”

I shouted with all of my anger.  

“Fuck me then! Fuck me but you know what? I only have one girl in my life and it’s you! Why are you like this? Don’t you feel it? I love you for goodness sake. I am always watching you, threatening all the boys who tried to be with you. Don’t you know that? Are you numb?”

He countered that made me speechless. What did he just said?

“Listen because I won’t say it again.”

He started before taking a deep breath.

“I am in an arranged marriage with Minah but believe me I am already doing my best to call the wedding off. I am almost there, so will you please behave? Don’t get too close to that Kim Myungsoo or else I am going to break his neck.”

He continued threatening me. While I still try to comprehend his words, he extends his hand on me.

“So slow.”

He said pulling me close to him. He hugs me so tight. So, he was just fooling around? He’s pretending that he’s happy but he was actually not? So, he really loves me and not Minah?

“I love you.”

He whispered and kissed me on my temple. I felt him smile as I relax against him. My heart is beating fast and I also felt the butterflies. I am happy, for goodness sake. I am suffering not knowing that he is too. We are both suffering for being away from each other.

“Why don’t you tell me earlier?”

“Because that will make the situation harder for me. No more explanation please, let me just cherish this moment.”

He said pulling me for a tighter hug. This man, seriously he’s so sweet.

***

“You didn’t call me.”

I bowed my head and blurted a sorry as Myungsoo sat beside me. I forgot to call him since Kyungsoo took my phone saying no phone for the night. We spend the night at the park catching up. He told me that Minah’s mom is the one who is behind the arranged marriage and of course that’s because of Minah who is head-over-heels with him. He said that Minah insisted to be partnered with him and almost begged his mom. At first, Kyungsoo’s parents didn’t want it since they already know that Kyungsoo and I are together, but then with all the threatening they made them agree. Kyungsoo on the other hand also agreed for the sake of his parents and tries to play the game. Little by little, Minah’s parents’ company started to have a finance problem and of course that’s because of Kyungsoo who has an access underground. Kyungsoo asked Kris for help. Kris is the leader of a Chinese gang who works really well. His gang was called Wolf (That’s their group name in my other fanfiction. Fate: Byun Baekhyun. You can check it out but it is currently on hiatus with 42 chapters available)

Kris and the Wolf members are good when it comes to business. They offer Minah’s parents’ company some business proposal that will lead to bankruptcy. Kris and the rest of the wolf members will make their company’s income rose for about three months and after that losing of money will begin. The business that Minah’s parents’ company will start to face a problem like inside jobs and such that soon will lead to bankruptcy. That took him so long to deal with Minah, acting like everything is alright while the Wolf is the one who’s doing the job. After the bankruptcy, the wedding will be called off and the span of days that I needed to wait is about twenty-eight days or almost one month.

He tells me lots of things about it and I felt bad for Minah for the first time of my life. If it’s not for her greediness this will not turn out to this, she doesn’t deserve this but at some point she also does.

“I forgot, really. Sorry.”

I answered and then looked in front of us as the professor discussing the things about receivables. It’s uncomfortable, I felt like someone is staring at me. I tried to push it aside but then it was bothering me somehow. I looked around and saw no one looking at me until my eyes landed on Kyungsoo. He’s pouting but his eyes were glaring at the boy next to my seat. I chuckled and look away. I saw him look away too and then took something inside his bag. I just shrugged it off and then after a while I felt my phone buzzed. Looking at my phone, he just sent me a message. Do Kyungsoo, you are really something.

From: Do Kyungsoo

BEHAVE. Remember, I am going to rip his body into two and I will break his neck.

His message as it says. I smiled and then tap the reply button. Can he be more cute?

To: Do Kyungsoo

I know you won’t do it.

And then click the green button. I keep my phone back to my pocket and then went back from listening. It’s funny and I love it. He seemed to be so possessive and I am loving it. Every single thing about him is just too cute for me. Just then, I felt it buzzed again.

From: Do Kyungsoo

Try me!

I rolled my eyes and then tap the reply button.

To: Do Kyungsoo

I am doing nothing. I am just talking to him.

From: Do Kyungsoo

I know. Haha! Just behave, ‘kay?

To: Do Kyungsoo

Alright.

He didn’t reply afterwards. Finally, he knows how to back off.

“Tell him I won’t steal you away from him.”

Myungsoo whispered next to my ear. Close to me that is not pleasing to Kyungsoo’s eyes. Gosh, he’s teasing him. I looked at him and then push him a little away. Kim Myungsoo really knows how to mess with Kyungsoo. Sometimes, I find it really obvious that he’s trying to get into Kyungsoo’s nerve. And when I say it’s obvious, it really was.

“How d’you know?”

“Eyes, dear. I told you, I only believe on what eyes are saying.”

He simply said. Eyes, yes eyes again.

“You are weird.”

“So, are you? You both are weird. Your eyes telling me that you both love each other but I don’t get it why he’s with someone else.”

He said doubting whether to interfere with us or not.

“Long story bro~”

He just nodded and then went back to his business. I received another text from Kyungsoo that made me blush.

From: Do Kyungsoo

Too close, _____-ah! Too close. I promise to leave you hickeys later for him to know where to stand.

I looked at him and saw him smirked before leaning back to his seat. Oh boy!

***

I don’t have any class for today now and I am quite tired, yea I guess. I am walking along the hallway when suddenly a hand stops me.

“Who—“

“Hey, babe!”

“Kyungsoo-ah!”

I announced quite shocked. He smirked and about to drags me with him when suddenly another hand stops us. Why do people like stopping someone’s business now? Is this some kind of viral today?

“Where are you taking her? Aren’t you supposed to be with Minah, your girlfriend?”

“She’s my girl Myung.”

Kyungsoo countered. Wait, what? Myung? He called him Myung? So, he already gave him a nickname. Myungsoo on the other hand flinched after hearing Kyungsoo’s words. He simply raised his brow and smirked,

“Oh, I see. So you’re playing with two girls? Why don’t you give me one. I’ll take _____-ssi and you take Minah?”

Wow! They are talking about me while I am in front of them. Great, just great. Can they be a little bit sensitive? Like, hello? I am hearing you talking.

“Look, I am not in the mood to play with you. Let her go before I really break your neck.”

Kyungsoo said warning the boy. He looked so pissed. Myungsoo laughs really hard before letting go of my hand. What is wrong with this people? I really don’t get them. I mean, the environment between this two is so unpredictable.

“That’s funny bro! See you at 10, same place.”

“Alright.”

Kyungsoo said before we ditched the place. Wait? What’s really is happening here? Do they know each other? What’s with their conversation? It looks like they know each other for a long time now.

“Do you know him?”

“Who?”

“Don’t play dumb with me Kyungsoo.”

I said warning him. He knows me very well, he knows that I don’t like it when people are hiding something from me. It somewhat irritates me. I mean, I don’t like it when I feel so clueless.

“He’s Kai’s cousin. He grew up in Hong Kong and then visits here to have fun with the guys. And, he also knows our situation. He’s just playing with you. He loves to play.”

“I knew it. That’s why he didn’t believe them.”

I announced faster. So, that’s the reason. The eyes, my butt!

“But it also true that he believes on what he sees on someone eyes, it’s true but weird.”

“Eh? But I thought—nevermind, doesn’t matter.”

I answered and then walk besides him. I am thankful that there are just few students around and they didn’t bother to look who I am with considering he’s wearing a disguise. For me, wearing disguise made people feel curious. So, for me wearing disguise is a wrong decision but that doesn’t matter now. As long as we are together, I couldn’t care any less.

“What’s with the meeting at ten?”

“We decided to end the play earlier than what we’ve planned. I want to be with you soon. I can’t wait any longer.”

I nodded and then let him drag me to wherever he wants. I hope that whatever they will do won’t hurt anyone so bad. I know he’s trying to free himself from that damn arranged marriage but I hope he won’t hurt Minah that much. Yes, I hate her but I still have a heart. She is just a human who fell deeply in love with the wrong guy. Of course! Kyungsoo is mine, so she fell in love with the wrong guy.

“Don’t hurt her.”

I mumbled under my breath. Kyungsoo squeezed my hand and then smiled sweetly.

“If that’s what my princess wants, I won’t. I’ll just call the wedding off, is that enough?”

 I nodded.

“What about their company?”

“Let me think about that later. Let’s just date, okay?”

I smiled brightly and then dragged him somewhere I want to go. He smiled as he fastened his pace and then wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close to him. I hope this will end soon, I can’t wait to be with him again. It’s hard to hide but I guess this will worth the wait. Besides, I know he loves me.

[bloggerseemethrough]

Title: Fight

Characters: You and Kai

Genre: slightangst (I guess)

requested by: anon

--

“SO, YOU’RE TELLING ME IT’S MY FAULT?”

Kai shouted at me. I hate it, we have been fighting and fighting for couple of days now. I am getting tired of it. I don’t want to have a fight with him but he’s the one pushing me to my limits. I just tell him to at least go home for at least twice a week. I know, he’s an idol and is really busy on his schedule but what about us? I mean, I also needed him, we needed him.

“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH!”

“REALLY? WHAT ABOUT ME HUH? DO YOU KNOW WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH? YOU KNOW WHAT, THIS IS BULLSHIT!”

He shouted slamming the door behind him. Tears are flowing but I needed to stop it right away. I wiped my tears away and then followed him on our room. I open the door just to find him changing clothes. I took a deep breath and then closed the door behind me.

“WHAT? ARE YOU NOT GOING TO GIVE UP?”

He said raising his voice again. It pains me, he was never like that. He’s never the type of boy who will shout at me when we were still dating. I think, everything has changed. People changed just like seasons. I hate to admit it, but it is.

“Kai, lower down your voice please. Mimi is sleeping.”

I said reminding him that our only daughter is already on its deep slumber and she might hear us. Yes, Kai and I are already living together. We are married for almost eight years now and we already have our only one six-year old girl.

“WOW! MY FAULT AGAIN?”

“Kai, please.”

“I’M LEAVING. I’LL BE BACK TOMORROW EVENING!”

He exclaimed walking past me. Again? He will leave again. He’s always like this. He never once tried to fix our fight. Ever since last month when we are having a fight he will always leave me behind, I hate it and I felt like I am nothing to him now. He’s running away from it not even trying to fix it. He is not the Kai I fell in love with. Kai never did this to me.

“YA! ARE YOU LEAVING AGAIN? WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS LIKE THIS? YA! KIM JONG IN! YA!”

I called out. He turned to me with burning eyes.

“BECAUSE YOU ARE ALWAYS LIKE THIS. I AM TIRED ______, I AM TIRED! LET’S JUST—“

A sound of a crying little girl stops us from shouting with each other. I turned to my right to find our princess crying while rubbing her eyes. My eyes softened and all the anger faded with just the sight of my crying daughter. It saddened me to see that she witness her parents fighting and shouting like no one is around. My tears suddenly fall without my knowing as I reached out for her.

“Come here, princess!”

She cried a little more loudly as she made her way to me.

“Omma! Why are you both shouting? I thought… I thought… omma… loves appa!”

She says crying. It pains me seeing her cry. She is my weakness and my strength. I pat her back as I stroke her hair, ups and downs. I made an eye contact with Kai.

“We are not fighting. We are just… we’re practicing appa’s script.”

The excuse I come up. Silly but I guess she will buy it. She hiccupped and turns her head to her dad.

“Really?”

Kai nodded and made his way on us. He took Mimi from me and carries her towards her room.

“Appa bought Mimi a book. Do you want me to read you story, so you can go back to sleep?”

I saw our daughter nodded enthusiastically before he closed the door behind him. I sighed and then sat on the couch. Elbows on my knees as I buried my face in my palm. Why did we turn out this way? I don’t want to fight with him. I love him so much but why did we turn out this way? My tears start to fall as I recall out meaningless fights. Is it my fault? Is it his fault? Why can’t we be together? Sooner, I felt sleepiness creeping me so I unconsciously lay on the couch.

“Jagiya~ Jagiya!~”

I felt someone shaking me from my sleep.

“Go away!”

I exclaimed turning my back. After a while, I felt the shaking again so I decided to open my eyes.

“Kai…”

“She’s asleep.”

I blinked and then nods.

“Good. I’m going to sleep to. Just drive safe.”

I said standing up and about to walk to our room when he stops me by wrapping his arm around me from the back. Unconsciously, my tears start to fall again as I recall how much I misses. His touch, scent, I misses everything about him. The Kim Jong In that I love.

“I’m sorry. I never meant to shout. I never meant whatever I say. I am just so pressure and tired because of the concerts. I hope you’ll forgive me. I will never do that again, I promise. I am sorry, I truly am.”

He said turning me around and then kisses my tears away.

“You know I really can’t stay mad at you.”

I answered as I wrap my hands around him. I hug him tight, assuring myself that Kim Jong In is back.

[bloggerseemethrough]

Title: Unpredictable

Characters: You and Chen

Genre: I don't know really. (you judge XD)

Requested by: nadia_wie + anon

-----

“You’re really funny, Chen-ah~”

I said while laughing. Chen, the best buddy in the world. I knew him for about six years now. My family and I moved in to this town because my dad finally found a stable job. Chen is a year older than me, despite of the gender difference we become best friends. They say opposite genders can’t be just friend, but look we are the proof that it is not true. At first, it was awkward hanging out with him since I am not really comfortable with guys, but as time goes by I get along with it.

We are just a part of group of friends. To be honest, we are a six in the group. Chen, Tao, Lay, Jihyun, Lily and I. We all are neighbors and that made us close with each other. We hang out a lot. We are close to each other, too close that we won’t mind sleeping together in just one room. Sleeping, meaning just sleeping, nothing else. And today, we are in Jihyun’s house, just doing the usual; hang out, watch movies, play and such. It’s already seven in the evening and we decided to stay here until tomorrow. There’s no problem since Jihyun is living alone and her house wasn’t that small either.

“That was really not funny! It gets funny by how he delivered it.”

Lay said puffing his cheeks. I smiled and agreed anyway. The joke wasn’t really funny, it’s how he delivers it. I chirped and then sat comfortably on the floor as I leaned on the sofa. We are playing truth or dare when Chen breaks the silence as he cracks a joke. As the noise suddenly came down, the game continued.

“I’m getting bored.”

Tao whined as he leaned his head on my shoulder. I chuckled and then stroke his hair. I know he loves it when I am doing this to him. Actually, they all love it. I have this habit of stroking someone’s head when they leaned on me. Tao snuggles close to me as he enjoying our session. He really looks like a puppy. Tao is younger than me that’s why I took care of him among of anyone else in this room. They say they are jealous about the love I am giving to Tao but that was just to tease us. We don’t care though, because for the both of us, we are just like brothers and sisters. He took care of me and I took care of him, we are sweet.

“Lucky bastard!”

Chen exclaimed sticking his tongue out. I did the same manner and then laugh. He smirked and then spins the bottle that which landed on Tao. Tao on the other hand sits straight and then made a face.

“Truth! I won’t let you guys make me catch a bug, ever again.”

He exclaimed while pouting. I giggled as I recall the day where he mans up and then face his greatest fear, catching bugs. That moment was really precious and somehow hilarious as he catches bugs while shouting and screaming his lungs out. Chen straightened up and then looks at Tao.

“Have you ever had dirty dream with _____?”

I blushed at his question. I wonder too, does he ever dream about me? When it comes to closeness, Tao is closest to me since just like what I have said we are like siblings.

“Nope, not even once.”

Tao answered calmly that made me ease. That’s my boy!

“You’re no fun.”

Chen said rolling his eyes. Tao smirked and then took the bottle before spinning it. The bottle stops in front of Lily that made her scream not wanting her turn.

“Hey, baby girl! Hahaha!”

Tao started laughing.

“Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Ah huh!?!? Brave enough.”

Tao exclaimed.

“The guy you with last time I saw you. You have sex with him last night, right?”

Both of us turned to him and then to Lily as Tao unfold his words. What? She’s hiding something from me now? When it comes to being bestfriend, besides from Chen, Lily is also my bestfriend so I am really shock and upset that she hides his relationship from me. I swear my face looked so upset now.

“Ugh, I am about to tell you that ____-ah! This bastard ruined it.”

She defends. I just took a deep breath and then nods.

“So, the answer is yes?”

Tao asked cheekily.

“Yes, bastard!”

Tao laughed.

“I knew it! You are the girl I am hearing last night. Ghad, you are so loud!”

Lily blushed and then about to reach out to punch Tao in the head, but the younger immediately hides behind me while sticking his tongue out. He will never grow up. Lily spins the bottle and then it stops in front of me making all of them cheered in happiness.

“Finally, I thought you won’t be picked tonight!”

Chen exclaimed happily. I glared at him and he just made a face to me. This silly man.

“Truth or dare?”

“I go for the dare. You guys are no fun~”

I announced mocking them. They all made a “whoo” sounds and then chuckled. I made a poker face and then eyed her.

“Bring it on!”

I said challenging the girl in front of me. Lily smiled widely and then looks around the place.

“Make out with Tao.”

“YAH! We are—“

“You chose dare, dear. Friends or not, I don’t care.”

She said smirking. I scoffed and then about to leave the room. This girl, seriously? How can she make me do it? I mean, yes I’ve kissed one of them because of this damn game, but Tao? I can’t do it again with him, he is like my sibling for goodness sake, and it’s awkward.

“Come on, it’s not like you haven’t kissed him before.”

Jihyun said looking at us. I glance at Tao who is blushing really hard. I don’t know if I can do it.

“Let’s change the dare if she can’t do it. Don’t force her.”

Chen said breaking the ice. I looked at him saying thank you but Lily really don’t want to back off.

“I’m the one who spins the bottle. I’m in charged.”

“Okay, fine!”

I exclaimed and then look at Tao. Tao gulped and then closed his eyes. I burst on laughter that made him open his eyes.

“Yah! Noona! This is not funny!”

I wiped the tears that went out of my eyes as I laugh and then nods.

“Sorry, Tao. The sight was really funny.”

He scooted closed to me and then cupped my face, leaning in and then slowly capturing my lips. At first, I was shocked but then kiss him back afterwards.

“1… 2… 3… 4… 5!”

I heard them count.

“Okay, that’s enough!”

Chen said pulling me by my collar. I glared at him and then fix my clothes as I straightened up. I took the bottle and spin it that actually took a while spinning before landing in Jihyun. Great timing! She’s been so dramatic in facebook about her love life lately.

“Truth!”

Just perfect.

“I’ve read some of your statuses in facebook about this boy who you are in love with. Tell me, who’s the lucky guy?”

I asked her anticipating her honest answer. The rest of us maybe got curious about the boy as all went silent and then stared at her. She closed his eyes for a second and then exhaled some air.

“It’s…”

Come on! Spill it.

“Chen.”

And then everything went silent. Chen? Does she mean Kim Jongdae? The guy besides her? My best friend? Her friend? It took us a while to comprehend everything and then looked at Chen who seemed so shocked. Who can’t be shock? Your friend just confessed that she likes him. That was unpredictable.

“Whoa~! I know I am handsome, but damn don’t stare!”

We chuckled and then looked away from him. Tao and Lay did the high five before sitting straight. So, they know about it?

“I’m sorry, I don’t really intend to like you.”

Jihyun mumbled and then spins the bottle that seriously stops in front of Chen. Wow, what a game of life.

“Dare? Truth? Hmmm~”

He thinks loudly.

“Truth!”

Whoa, playing safe Chen. I smirked and then he mocked me.

“D-do… Do you like me too?”

Whoa~ Whoa~ What a nice comeback. Chen took the bottle and about to spin it when Jihyun took his hand and then made him look at her.

“Answer me.”

“We’re friends, I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”

That says everything. I felt bad but I guess it’s the best that he didn’t say it straight to the point. Jihyun lowered her head and then nods as the game continues.

“I think we should stop.”

Lay exclaimed which agreed by Tao, Lily and I. They all stood up and here’s Tao helping me. I took his hand and then pulled myself up before saying thank you which received a sweet smile from him. He took Jihyun to her room saying that sleep over is not a good timing for today. We all agreed and decided to take our leave too.

“Good night, guys!”

Lily said before she bids her goodbye and then followed by Lay. Chen and I stood up in front of Jihyun’s house with Tao still inside and maybe comforting her. Tao is really a sweet guy with us and I guess his caring words are enough for Jihyun.

“I didn’t know. Am I numb, ____-ah?”

Chen speaks out of nowhere. I turned to him and then ask him what he was talking about.

“Jihyun liking me. Am I numb not to feel it?”

“I think not. She’s just good in hiding it.”

He nodded and we both walk together since our houses are just next to each other.

“How about you, ____-ah? What if one of us tells you “I like you”? What will you do?”

I think first. What should I do then? I don’t know. All I know is I cherish all of them, I love my friends and I don’t what to feel if some of them love me, in a romantic way. Friends first, that’s what I knew. I don’t want to ruin our friendship because of that thing called love.

“I don’t know.”

I simply answered. Chen scoffed and then took my hand. I smiled and then lightly punch him in his shoulder. Chen is a sweet guy after all. He took care of me very well. He was sometimes very clingy and possessive but that’s okay. I’m comfortable around him, them. He squeezed my hand and then scooted a little closer to me.

“What? You have a problem?”

He nodded that made me worry.

“Why don’t you tell me? I might help.”

He smiled and nodded.

“Let’s play then. I’ll tell you throughout the game.”

I looked at my watch and it says nine-thirty.

“But it’s getting late.”

“Just sleep in my house.”

I think for about a minute or two before nodding. We walked to their house, he opened the door just to be greeted with his parents.

“Oh, I thought you guys will be at Jihyun’s?”

His mom asked as we greeted them.

“Jihyun is not in a good condition, so we decided to go home.”

“And you’re here?”

“Chen invited me. He has problem that wants to tell me, so I’m going to stay. If that’s okay…”

“You’re not different to us. You’re like my daughter. I just don’t get it why Chen still didn’t ask you out.”

His father answered as he looks at us smiling before reading the newspaper. Chen blushed and then looked away. His mom chuckled and then told us to go to his room since Chen couldn’t stand his dad’s teasing. I bowed and then followed Chen to his room.

I sat on his bed, looking to his side table I saw to picture frames. One contains pictures of us six and the other one is a picture of me and him on his birthday last year. I smiled and then wait for him to change clothes. He’s staying inside the bathroom for about ten minutes now, so I decided to knock but then he went out. He settled in front of me and then smiled sweetly.

“I want to ask you a question, but I need an assurance that you’re going to answer me with just a yes.”

“What? I don’t even know your question, but then you want me to answer you a yes. Question first before my answer.”

I said before taking one of his pillow and then rested it in my lap.

“I won’t tell you then.”

He insist.

“Okay, okay. Spill it.”

I said as curiosity hits me. He smiled and then took away the pillow on my lap replacing it with his head. I whined but smiled anyway. He smiled before hugging the pillow he just took from me before taking a deep sigh.

“You know… you are very close to me.”

“I know, you’re my puppy~”

I said interrupting him.

“Shut up, will you?”

I stuck my tongue out before nodding as I start stroking his hair. His hair was soft and then scent was so wonderful, it’s addicting. He snuggles close to my touch and then chuckled.

“I love your hands stroking my hair.”

“You guys love it.”

“I love it more than anything else.”

I smiled and then nods.

“Continue what you are saying.”

He cleared his throat and then continues,

“As I say, you are very close to me. That’s why I am comfortable around you, you can make me calm with just one smile or glare. You don’t know how scared I am when you angrily stare at me…”

He chuckled before continuing as I keep silent not wanting to interrupt him. But, was this his problem?

“Your smile, eyes, nose, everything about you is just so precious to me. I get really protective and possessive sometimes but there’s one reason behind it…”

He flipped me around made me settled with my back against the soft fabric. Our faces are too close for my breathing as he stared seriously in my eyes. The feeling was foreign, I grew nervous as I keep my eyes on him. This is the very first time I saw Chen really serious. I gulped as I felt his breathe against my lips. He is so close to me. I don’t know what to react or say but my body seemed stiff. He blinked and then caresses my cheeks. What is going on to him?

“_____-ah…”

I didn’t respond as I felt myself lipped tight.

“I like you, a lot. Not as my bestfriend but as a lady.”

He said staring at me. And just like that, I felt myself getting confused. He likes me? Like the way Jinyun’s likes him? Not as a friend but something else? I don’t know. If I like him they way he does, I don’t know.

“I—“

“Don’t answer today, I want you to think about it. I know you felt surprised but please think about it. Put everything aside, think about this carefully. Just please, consider my feelings.”

He said before standing up, leaving me alone in his bed.

“I’ll sleep in the couch. Good night~”

He said before lying on the couch. I stare at the ceiling, maybe this will took a while of thinking. Geez, why life so unpredictable?

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Title: It took one look

Characters: You and Kyungsoo

Genre: Fluff

--

“It’s been a while Minyoung!”

A random guy whispered against my ear as he dances closer to me. Another night in the multi-colored dark place. Multi-colored lights are flashing in every corner of the place. The lights aren’t too bright to make you close your eyes. It’s too crowded tonight. I could say considering the fact that I’ve been here for almost every day plus the fact that I’ve been a VIP in this place because I usually went here if I want to make myself stress free, free from everything, school stuff, drama and all the bullshits in life. I made my way to the other side of the bar, I don’t like people flirting with me. Basically, I hate flirts. As I made my way, sweaty dancing bodies were rubbed and pressed against mine. I don’t mind it though, tonight was really just too crowded for everyone and in fact, this is the environment of a club. The blaring bass make the room feels like shaking, bodies tangled together while dancing their night out. I went to the counter to down a drink or maybe two, the bitter taste of liquid crawled down my throat and I choked a little. In just some minute, I feel myself getting hot and then I find myself already sweating. It feels so good, I am really releasing the days stress. I made my way back to the dance floor and made my body moves to the rhythm of music. The lights are blinding my sight but I care less I’m having the time of my life.

“Minyoung-ssi, you’re still avoiding me?”

“Back off Kyle, I’m here to dance and flirting wasn’t even in the list.”

The boy snaked his hands around my small waist pulling me close. The strong smell of alcohol filled my nostrils as he breathes against me, disgusting. I yanked his hand off then turn around ready to leave,

“Don’t kill the fun honey! I’ve been waiting for you since last week.”

“I took my exam last week and let me go I’m going home.”

He scooted besides me then rested his arm around my shoulder. This guy really didn’t know when to stop.

“Oh~ So, Minyoung was being a nerd again.”

I look at him fiercely. I really don’t like it when people keep calling me nerd.

“I dare you to say it again.”

I stated firmly as my eyes gave out a stern death glares. I love books, heck those are my life but that doesn’t mean I’m a nerd. The word nerd wasn’t even in my vocabulary.

“What? The nerd?”

Without any words I flew my right knee to his family jewel and then watch him curled on the floor while smirking. I laughed darkly then bent down to his reach,

“This was only a warning Kyle-ssi.”

I smirked then walked out of the crowded loud place and then made my way home.

***

“Come on! Let’s just watch. I heard that the male lead is really cute.”

I settled my book down in front of me then looked up to see pleading eyes of my friend Yuki. She was bugging me to come with her in the school’s musical next week and musical isn’t my stuff. I mean, I find it very boring.

“How many times should I have to reject you?”

“How many times should I have to pursue you? You’ll enjoy it, I swear.”

I sighed heavily. This girl doesn’t know when to stop. I ignore her presence then look back to the book I am reading. I heard her sighed and that made me feel a little guilty, she’s been a friend of mine and was always there for me. Why can’t I agree to her little favor? I turned my head to face her and saw her burying her face on the table in front of her with a pout on her lips. I can’t help myself but giggles in the view. She looks at me with confusion in her eyes but still keeping the pout on the lips.

“Okay, I’m coming but—“

“Really? OMO! Thank you Minyoung-ah, you’re the best and I love you!”

She exclaimed as her face lit up. How can she switch mood that easily? I laughed then patted her head like what I always did to my cute little puppy.

“The ticket should no, the ticket MUST shoulder by you.”

She nodded vigorously then kissed me on the cheek. She sat beside me then starts talking which I rarely understand because she was talking so fast that I couldn’t even manage to catch.

“Yuki, breathe!”

She stopped then inhaled some air before breathing it out. Seriously, how old is she?

“I won’t disappoint you and plus they say that the male lead was really cute.”

“You know I don’t care about boys. I will come just because you insist.”

She rested her elbow against the table and her chin on it.

“But I guess he’s your type.”

“I don’t have type. And if you wouldn’t mind, I’m leaving I have class.”

I started as I stood up, she chuckled then nods.

“Go on Miss Book shitty head.”

I smirked.

“Bye bitch!”

 She then waves goodbye and so did I. I was heading to my next class when I accidentally bumped onto someone. I fell on the ground and I swear my butt hurts a lot. I looked up to see a big-doe-eyes staring at me. He was cute—what?—no. He settled the bunch of papers aside as he reaches out to me. I guess he’s trying to help me but I ignore it. I am no weak for goodness sake. He claimed his hand back then rubbed the back of his neck in a cute manner. I am lying if I say he didn’t get my attention. I am not interested to boys and he is no exception but at some other point I find myself staring at his eyes and take note he has heart-shaped lips. How many guys also have that kind of lips? This was my first time seeing something like that and I am amazed… or maybe stunned? I shake off all the dust that was resting in my skirt then looked up to meet his gaze with a cute smile curled on his heart-shaped-adorable lips.

“I’m sorry, I was just in a hurry.”

“If you are really in a hurry why don’t you leave now?”

I think I sounded too harsh as he bits his lower-lip then chuckled awkwardly.

“Oh-h… Y-yea… you’re right.

I was about to retort something but he quickly run away as soon as he took all the papers he was holding a while ago. I just shrug everything off then head out to my class.

***

“UGH! WHY ARE YOU ON MY MIND? THIS IS UGGGGGHHHHH!”

What the fuck is happening to me? Seriously, what’s the name of that boy who was invading my head? I can’t keep him off my mind. This is weird, I’ve met a lot of cute guys in the past twenty years of my life and this is the first time that a face of a guy appears in my head. This is the first time, the very first time and I really don’t like it. I tried to distract myself by reading one of my books but that didn’t help at all. It feels like I am staring in a blank piece of paper. I closed my eyes and then again flashback starts. His doe-eyes and his lips that curled a smile. It was a beautiful view but I don’t like seeing it. Why am I even like this? What’s happening to me? I pulled my hair out of frustration. After a while, I decided to just go to the club and forget about everything. I hope the loud thug of music will help me forget about that strange boy in my head.

*****

My eyes widened as I saw the guy that have been invading my head for a week in front—I mean, on the stage… performing. His voice was very manly but when he sings, he sounds so angelic. I didn’t know that I’ve been staring at him for how long now until Yuki nudged me by the arm.

“He’s melting, come on!”

My face heats up then looked away. Why am I even staring at him like he’s the only person on the stage to watch? I switched my eyes to the female lead as she starts singing her part. She jumped to the male lead then cupped his face and I swear I felt some urge inside of me to rip the girl into two. She leaned closer then the background music stopped as she says “I love you” that made the male lead smile widely and the audience gone wild. Ghad! I hate seeing love scene. I closed my eyes as soon as I felt like they were going to kiss each other.

“Look! Omo! This is so hot! They’re making out, oh my gosh!”

Yuki cheered and I swear I don’t like the things I heard out from her mouth. I bit my lower lip then stood up.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to the rest room.”

That’s the excused that pop out of my head. I stayed inside the rest room for almost ten minutes before walking back to our place. I seated to my usual place then revived my gaze on the stage as the minor characters of the play starts singing in the background as they dance around the stage. The male lead was out of sight while the female lead was standing in the middle dancing with the others. Lots of the audience began to sing along and Yuki was no exception. I just sit here and watch as the play went to its plot. The singing stops abruptly when the lady in black with scary make up made her way to the lead female and the weird thing is I was chanting “kill her and throw her to hell” inside my head like I was happy to see the antagonist while the other audience are whining why does she have to show up all of a sudden. She lifts the female lead using her right hand wrapped around the female’s neck and just when she was about to stab the female, her partner went out to the rescue.

“Shit! That was close!”

I mumbled earning a smirked and a smacked from this girl who’s sitting next to me.

“You don’t want her to get hurt, right?”

Stupid, I meant the opposite. I didn’t answer her since I don’t want to lie to her and say ‘yes I don’t want her to get hurt’ when I actually mean ‘that was close, she’s too close to death. What a waste, she should be dead meat now. ’ I whip my head to the scene in front of me again and watch how the male lead tried to freed the love of his life. The background music starts to play as it increases the tense that the audience already have inside of them and I am no exception. The protagonist’ friends help the male lead as well and when the scene is clear, he pulled the female lead up and then they start to run away as they shout ‘thank you’ to their friends then the big curtains suddenly went down signing us that the scene are already come to its end and they will clean the mess in the stage for some seconds for the next scene. As soon as the curtains reveal the two protagonists the female lead starts humming sounds that really soft. The male lead starts singing in a soft low voice and it sounds music to my ear. His voice was so soft and sweet and I find myself getting addicted to it. They say their vow and then they kissed. After the swift kiss all the characters join them on the stage and they all take a bow in sync. I pulled myself up then made my way to the exit since Yuki on the other hand told me to leave her alone inside if I didn’t want to stay any longer because she’s planning to take a picture with the two main role players. I huffed before leaving the hall.

“Tss, this is a waste of time.”

I blurted then headed out of the theater hall. I was walking along the hallway with no particular path and then I find myself walking towards the music room. I scanned the place checking if there’s someone around. As soon as I clear that the place is empty I quickly stepped in the closed the door behind me. I used to be here when I was a freshman but decided not to stay any longer as I grew frustrated. When I was on high school I also used to be in the performing arts club, sings, dance, acts and plays musical instrument. Piano and guitar is my favorite one to play but I stopped when my parents died in an accident. I scanned the whole room. Flashback starts, when I was still happy playing guitar singing along with my friends and co-members having a good time together. I unwillingly smiled remembering my past but I immediately wiped it off. I touch the piano’s key, black and white… two specific colors but having many different heavenly notes. I then tried punching the keys with my pointing finger and it released beautiful sounds. I still can play, but what stopping me? I took a deep sigh then decided to play my favorite piece. I start punching the first note then the second until the third. I smiled as the sounds touches my ear and then I start punching the key from the start as I closed my eyes. The song was soft. It was the first piece that my mom teaches me, it was a beautiful sweet melody. My fingers are dancing in the dance floor of the piano, black and white… black and white… a very beautiful music. I hummed as I get too carried away of the soft sound. I was in the middle of the piece when the door slammed open. My fingers immediately stop then I open my eyes, turning around I see the man that made my life miserable.

“What are you doing here? You’re not a member of the club, aren’t you?”

The male stated as he flicks the lights on that blinds me for a second. I stood up and about to walk away when I caught his lips curved a smile. He really has a beautiful smile and considering his heart-shaped lips were just a package extra treats. My heart suddenly starts to beat s a little bit faster that before and I felt my knees weakened as I stared in his doe-eyes. What’s happening to me? Why am I even like this? Why is he confusing me all of a sudden? Why is he running inside my head? Am I perhaps… no, that can’t be. I have my goal in life and that’s no boys allowed until graduation. This can’t be, seriously? Why am I like this? This is weird and so foreign to me. I will graduate next semester. I need to bear this a little more. Maybe I am just bored that’s why he’s on my mind in the past few days. That’s right, I’m just bored.

“I’m sorry for intruding, I thought no one will be here since it’s late.”

I stated then bow a little before walking away. I was just inches past him when speaks,

“It’s our second meeting, you didn’t remember me?”

“This is our third. I saw you at the play. You’re good and congrats.”

I said then smiled as I walk out of the place. My heart was hammering and I am wondering what’s gotten into me? Why am I like this? Nervous all of a sudden and my heart felt like having a flower blooming on it. As soon as I turned to the staircase, I quickly run as fast as I could.

***

“Vodka!”

I muttered as I sit on the bar counter. I drink the vodka in a bottom’s up manner then ask the bar tender for another glass of it. My eyes landed on the people dancing in the crowd. Bodies against bodies,

“What’s with today?”

“I’m just a little confused. Oppa, have you been in a situation where you can’t get rid of a person out of your head? I mean—“

“You can’t stop yourself from thinking of them?”

“Exactly!”

I nearly shouted as he got what I am trying to say then the bar tender leaned in front of me then rested his chin on his palm.

“Don’t look at me like that Kai!”

The latter laughed then patted my head. Gosh, what does he think of me? Two?

“Are you in love?”

“WHAT? WHAT SHITS ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I AM NOT!!”

I answered defensively. He chuckled and just patted my head. ARGH! What’s wrong with this man? I thought he’s a friend and now he’s laughing at me. I hate you Kim Jong-in! I pouted then just drink the vodka down my throat. After a while I find myself light headed, drunk? Maybe. Tonight I didn’t dance, I just drink the night out. Why my head was filled of your face? Why can’t I forget you? Am I perhaps… NO! THERE’S NO FREAKING WAY! I DON’T WANT TO. THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!

***

“Don’t disturb me, I’m reading can’t you see?

I whined as I continue reading the book of history I borrowed from the library.

“Like you’ve been stuck with those freaking books for a week now. Are you still alive?”

“I’m here right in front of your face, breathing. So, I am alive.”

I answered without averting my eyes to her. I turned to the next page and just continue on reading while she stomped herself out of the door. I smiled as I confirm that there’s no one could disturb me from reading. Midterms are coming and I need to study for me to pass the exam easily. I didn’t visit the bar for a week now and I distant myself to the crowd, meaning to all the people and Yuki is no exception to it. This is the habit of mine, I am always alone when exams are coming. I don’t want or let anyone bothers me when I’m studying like people-are-not-allowed-to-be-with-me. I closed the history book and then grab the English one. I was busy reading when I hear the familiar male voice from outside the room. I glanced at the room’s window and then saw him laughing with his friends. For the past few days I have seen him having a good time with his friends but when I saw him alone he was quiet. As in really quiet, he didn’t speak any single words and that sometimes confused me. I’ve been looking at him from a far. I don’t know why I am doing this but it feels like I want to see him every single day. You know that? That’s so weird of me, right? Am I attracted to him? But that can’t be. I’ve been less interested to boys in the past years of my life so why now? Why to him? What does he have that the others don’t? It was confusing, so confusing.

My eyes followed his silhouette as he walked along the hallway and I hear my heart beating for him. Am I really attracted to him? Wasn’t this just confusion? A challenge to me? But why does it felt so different?

******

Months had passed and I find myself falling for him. As much as I wanted to deny it, I just can’t. I know exactly what I am feeling now. At first, I thought it was just a pinch of admiration but as the day pass by, my feelings get deeper. I always find myself thinking of the boy. Honestly, I don’t like it. I was supposed to be studying and not wondering. I was supposed to be in the library reading books but why am I standing here in front of the music room? I looked down. Why am I even here? Why things confusing me all of a sudden? Why I fell in love? Why now? To all people, why to him? I turned around. I need to get out of this place. I need to take one step away from him. I need to stop myself. I promise myself, I don’t need boys. I don’t need them.

“Excuse me?”

I was frozen as I heard his gentle voice. I remained unmoved, afraid of seeing his angelic face. Why does my heart hammering inside my chest? Why does it have to automatically beat faster whenever I see his face, hearing his voice and even just hearing his name? I don’t know how exactly I fell for him, I just did. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I shivered at the sudden contact and I almost melt as I see him staring at me.

“Oh, it’s you. Why are you here?”

I can’t speak a word. I was speechless and to mesmerized. Why am I being like this?

“I always see you in front of the music room in the past few days. Perhaps, do you want to join the club? But why are you not—“

“I don’t want to join the club…”

“I wanted to see you.”

My eyes widened as those words came out of my mouth. I didn’t intend to let it out but why mouth is a complete traitor today? His big-doe-eyes widened, if that’s even possible. I blushed then turn around before rushing away. I slapped my both cheek telling myself “why did you do that?” How can I face him now? I rushed down the stairs then enter an empty classroom. I closed the door behind me and then sit on the chair near the door.

“Why are you so stupid Minyoung?”

I exclaimed as I cupped my face. Why did I say it out loud? I am so stupid. I stayed inside the room for a while before walking back to my room building.

***

My mind was filled of thoughts about Kyungsoo. How can I face him if ever we see each other in the university? I grew really frustrated as I think of him. This is why I hate boys. This is why I don’t want to get attach to them until I graduate because they were invading someone’s mind. I have seen how my friends gone crazy because of their boyfriends and suitors, so I decided to not get interested with boys. I don’t want to find myself thinking crazily about boys just like my friends but now I am exactly like that. Thinking about the boy who stole my heart and mind. I am not supposed to be like this. I am not supposed to be thinking of him, but why?

“Minyoung?”

I turned around to see worried eyes. I saw her sighed before I speak up,

“What is it Yuki?”

“You’ve been so lost these past few days. Tell me what happen.”

I buried my face on the desk then took a deep breath. Should I tell her? What if she makes fun of me? She was aware of my no-boys-until-graduate promise and if I tell her the whole situation she will definitely going to tease me, or maybe that’s what I think.

“So?”

“I…”

She looked at me telling me to go on but I’m hesitating.

“I’m on my period.”

I answered awkwardly. I can’t tell it, I’m afraid.

“Seriously?”

I just nodded then looked away. Stupid Minyoung.

“I do not believe you, but if you’re ready to let it out I’m just here.”

She said smiling as she went to her seat. I shrugged then buried my face on the desk once again. After half an hour a student announced that our professor was absent, so they all went out including Yuki. I don’t want to move, so I remained inside the classroom. Everything was fine until,

“There you are!”

I pretend to be asleep as I didn’t move. I can’t face him now, I am not yet ready. I tried my very best to keep my cool and pretend to be all asleep. I felt a presence besides me and I know it was his. I didn’t move, or else I was doomed. Maybe I should get an Oscar for my acting, I think he buys it. I felt a hand touch my cheek that was exposed. I shivered at the sudden touch and I move a little telling him that he stirs me. He tucked the strands of my hair that covered my face behind my ear. Now, I am getting nervous. What if he finds out that I am not really asleep?

“Minyoung-ah.”

He calls out as he shook my shoulder trying to wake me up while I remained unmoved,

“Do you know that it was bad to sleep inside the classroom?”

He blurted and then I heard him chuckled before saying something low that sounds like “cute”. He shook me a little rougher this time and I decided to open my eyes. Pretending that I was still sleepy, I yawned and then rubbed my eyes as I straightened up.

“What are you doing here?”

I ask as I looked at him but I immediately looked away as I avoid his intense stares. I swallowed before speaking up,

“About the last time… please forget the thing I have said.”

I mumbled lowly but enough for him to hear. The atmosphere seemed so awkward after I say those words.

“What if I don’t want to?”

He started and I turned my gaze to him.

“Look, I don’t want to be awkward with you—“

“I like you too. Let’s start dating.”

He stated before giving out a heart-shaped smile.

___

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Title: We can't be

Characters: You and Kyungsoo

Genre: Angst

--

“I am sorry but I don’t think we can still be together.”

These are the words you said to me before you left completely out of my life. I wonder what you felt when you left me in the middle of the cold night. All the goodbyes still hanging on my lips. You said to stick together until the end, you promised me. I can still remember all the things we did together. We are happy, we were happy, we are supposed to be happy. I can still remember all the things you said to me, how much you love, how much you want to stay beside me, everything and it pains me. But that was all memories now, now that you already found someone else. It pains me, but I will manage it myself. I hope I can handle it and forget about you.

It’s plain to see that I can’t be the one you needed. You are a prince while I am just a commoner who is just another face in the crowd. My love for you is still the same, it never faded… even though I wanted to. Won’t you come over and save me?

“Good morning ____!”

I looked up to see Minah smiling brightly at me. I don’t know if she’s either trying to piss me off or she was just trying to be nice towards his boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend. Funny, we’re classmate with some of our subjects together with Kyungsoo. This is a tragic flaw of mine and I can’t find any exit for me to move on. I admit that I feel really hurt right now. I hate seeing her in front of me knowing that she’s together with Kyungsoo. It pains to see her with Kyungsoo laughing around the university. All the students inside the room turn their faces towards the both of us. It seemed like my movements are all monitored by the people surrounds us. They are aware of my past relationship with Kyungsoo and basically they are enjoying the scene of me in the corner of the room, away from the couple. They are enjoying the scene of me sulking in the corner while the two was being all lovey dovey.

The sad truth is I still love him. There are times that I will notice him watching me, glancing at me. There are times that he will turn to me and ask if I am okay and being the ‘strong’ girl I am, I always said yes. There are times that he will ask some of my classmates if everything is wrong with me. I know he cares that’s why I am still hoping that maybe, just maybe he still has feelings for me. But then some days I will see him with her, caring for her, protecting her, treating her like the way he treats me when we were still together. And by means of that, I said to myself to stop hoping he will come back. All the care he showed for me was just made by guilt. It’s all because of the guilt he feels for leaving me. But then, I can’t stop myself from loving him. No matter how many times I dictate to my head that this is the time to stop my heart and brain for loving him, but I can’t. It seemed like when he left, he also took my heart and brain with him making me stuck with him, forever. Running away, I have tried that but I always find myself coming back. How can I not manage to handle this pain? I thought I was strong enough, but I am not.

“Good morning to you too.”

I answered politely that made others gasped for air. After we broke up, which is apparently five months ago they started watching my movements and everything I said. They conclude that everything I said and done has something to do with them. It’s hard to act like you don’t care but that’s all I can do for them to see that I am not really affected. Because as soon as I act like I am affected and still hurt, they will just make fun of me or maybe the worst. I was known for being the jolly kid living her life happily but I turned to be quiet after the break up. I don’t want myself to get ruined because of the break up but I think I can’t handle all the pain alone. It is really hard since I get to see them for almost every day, it’s really hard I’m telling you.

“It’s good to see you still smiling.”

By this time I already know what her intention is. I lowered my head and didn’t bother to look at her anymore. She’s a-princess-like that women will die to be. I admit that I wish to be her, not because of her wealth, figure or beauty, but because Kyungsoo is in love with her. I want him to look at me again and love me again. I still want him in my life after all. I’m a fool but what can I do? I am still stuck with him and I can’t change it.

“See you around!”

She announced before disappearing in front of me. I composed myself and try not to break down, not in front of everyone else. I managed to act like I don’t care for the past few weeks and I can’t really cry in front of them after Minah talks to me. That will be too obvious.  Minutes had passed when someone entered the room panting. I looked up only to meet the beautiful guy that used to be mine. He probably runs all the way here that made him pants for air. I quickly removed my eyes from him and buried my face on the desk. He is so gorgeous. His face is so perfect and his body is perfectly built. Everything about him made me so speechless, made me feel so nervous. My heart keeps pounding at the sight of him. I felt how eyes turned to me, I just pull out a straight face and act like nothing is bothering me. I caught Kyungsoo’s eyes on me but I manage not to meet it. In the sight of my peripheral view, I see how he sits next to Minah and immediately Minah wraps his arms around the boy. Half an hour had passed but the professor still not here. It’s suffocating, I felt like dying after hearing Minah’s noises. It’s suffocating to be stuck inside a room together with them with nothing to do.

Minutes had passed and I don’t think I can still handle this anymore, so I rise from my seat that made them all looked to my way. I shrugged keeping my cool and then walk away from the lecture room. It’s a good thing that our professor is absent so no one will mind if I didn’t come back. No one will care though, they won’t mind if I didn’t come back. I am just no different with the normal faces walking with the crowd. I made my way to the school’s field and spend my free time there. At least there, no one will bother me. No one is there to watch and judge me. At least there, I am alone and free, I can do whatever I want to do. I can let all out and distress myself.

                                                                                                ***

It pains me seeing him laughing with her. In all places, why here? This is my favorite place; this is my secret hideout… how do they manage to find this? Without my knowing, tears are already falling down my face. It sickened me to know that I haven’t move on. Why can’t I forget about him? Was it because he is so caring and sweet? Was it because he is so kind? Was it because of his angelic voice? What is the reason behind my stupidity? Was this my fault? Can I borrow some time? I want to go back to the past and correct all the mistakes. I want to go back in time I first saw you, but this time I will choose not talking to you. If I just knew that we can’t work things out, I would probably not let you near me. I left my guard down so this is my entire fault at all.

Walking out of nowhere, I find myself in front of the music room, the place where I first met him. It brings back happy memories but now those memories pain me. Like a thousand knives stabbing me back and forth. Slowly reaching for the knob, I twisted it open and entered the quiet dark room. Music club isn’t active so there are no longer students in this room after lunch. Looking to the left side, I saw the guitar that Kyungsoo used to play when I first met him.

I was running along the hallway to escape from my friends who insisted to go to the bar for a night out. All the way from my running, I found an open door and I immediately slipped inside and locked the door. I sighed and then turn around just to see a pair of eyes staring at me. His doe eyes are so mesmerizing as I found myself staring back at him.

“Did I disturb you or something? Look, I am sorry I was—“

“No, it’s okay. Why are you here by the way?”

My mouth gaped a slight ‘o’ after hearing his angelic soft voice. I could spend my days just listening to it, I mean that’s how attractive his voice is.

“I am ditching my friends.”

He chuckled and nodded.

“May I know what are you doing?”

He looked up at me and smiled. Oh Ghad, he has a heart-shaped lips and it forms a sweet heart-shape when he smiles.

“Just playing guitar, I guess.”

I nodded and then about to bid goodbye.

“Well, I won’t disturb you anymore. I’m leaving, thank you though.”

I said chuckling. I am about to twist the knob open when he stops me from doing so.

“What’s your name? And if you don’t mind… would you come here again at the same time? I mean, I don’t have any company here. It’s a pleasure to have someone here to listen to my songs.”

He said while rubbing the back of his head. Cute!

“That sounds good.”

 Silently approaching the guitar, I rested it in my lap and then strum the guitar. Tears, they are flowing non-stop as it brings back memories of him. I still want to be with you, but I know we can’t be. Chords keep coming out from my fingers as I strum the guitar with my tears singing along. Do you ever maybe miss me? Cause I miss you badly. How you hug me from the back teaching me how to play the guitar correctly and now I already learned about playing this instrument you weren’t here to listen. The melody that coming from the guitar touches my heart like a song that could comfort me to ease the pain I am feeling. Slowly, my lips finally curved a little smile while I closed my eyes to feel the music inside.

“All too emotional.”

With that, my world stops, my body froze and my heart skipped a beat. I can’t open my eyes, why can’t I? Or maybe I don’t want to open my eyes, no not today, not now. I am afraid of seeing him up close. I can’t see him now. Not now that I am still hurt.

“I almost thought that you will never come here again.”

He said before chuckling lowly. I open my eyes but immediately looked down. I don’t need to see his face. I put the guitar aside and then stood up without looking at him.

“I’m sorry for intruding. I will never come here again.”

I stated and then tried to walk past him but immediately got stopped by a strong hand. Am I a coward if I say that I am afraid of falling hard again? I don’t want him to see me like this. I don’t want him to feel bad to himself because I turned out this way. I don’t want him to pity me and think I am nothing without him. I didn’t mean to fall in love so hard with him but it seemed like no one can ever stop the gravity of falling in love. You will never know how deep you fall until you feel the pain when there is no one catches you. You have to feel the pain in order to know how deep you go.

“I didn’t mean that way. ______-ah,”

“I don’t care. Just please, don’t mind me.”

I said and then tried to pull my hand out from his grip but no good. He is a boy and clearly stronger than me.

“Why are you like this?”

“It’s none of your business.”

“You are my business.”

“I am not. We broke up… already.”

I said almost whispered.

“But that didn’t mean I can’t look up to you.”

Can you just act like you don’t care about me now? I don’t want to raise my hope again and believe that you still love me. I will only get hurt again and I don’t want it to happen. I pulled my hand back to me and stare out of nowhere, reminding myself to keep my front and act all cool.

“_____-ah, let’s talk.”

“No, I don’t want to.”

I said before walking past him. I thought I already made it through until I crashed on the wall. No way! You can’t hold me close, I might fall even more. This time, I can’t manage my tears anymore as they fall freely out of my eyes. I looked up and saw him staring at me. I can tell that he’s examining my face. He’d been examining my face until he met my gaze. His eyes softened as he stares on my tears streaming down.

“I hate you seeing you so fragile—“

“Then don’t look at me. You don’t have to.”

I managed to scream. It hurts me, I don’t want to see pity in his eyes. It saddened me even more. It hurts my ego and even my heart. It made me feel so worthless and helpless. There’s no need for him to felt bad for me. Everything happened and all we have to do is move on. Maybe I can’t do that now, but one day I will. But if he keeps acting this way, I don’t think I can do it.

“You look so vulnerable.”

“Kyungsoo-ssi, please stay away from me. I’m trying my best to get away from you, so please do the same. Please do me a favor.”

 I am happy that he still shows care for me but I know that was just a concern because he breaks my heart. He may be felt guilty because I turned out this way but that’s not it. This is my own choice, it my choice to turn this way so there’s no need for him to feel bad or even guilty.

“______-ah, please take good care of yourself.”

My tears keep on running down. Please stop this bullshit. Please act cold towards me, please act like you didn’t give a damn about me now. I will be fine with that rather than you showing concerns towards me. I will be fine crying in the corner of my room thinking how you moved on and find another girl than crying because I raised my hope too high believing we can still be together. I would rather live that reality than this. You just made me long for you even more, so please stop already.

“Kyungsoo-ssi, please stop already…”

I said while looking directly to his eyes.

“Please stop being so nice to me. Please stop while I can still manage to think properly.”

“But you are—“

“I still love you… and you acting this way didn’t help my situation at all. You are making this hard for me. Please stop now!”

With just a swift of second I felt something soft against my lips. I felt how hands circled around my middle securing me and how it pulled me close. I felt how his lips move against mine. I felt how my heart beating abnormally. I felt how light I am right now. I am losing it. I completely lose myself and find myself moving my lips according to his movements and circled my hands around his neck pulling him close to me. We pulled away for air and then he rested his forehead against mine before saying,

“We can’t be right now, but I will come back to you because you’re the one I truly love. Please believe in me.”

__

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Title: Just a little too late

Characters: Lu Han and Jae Ha (You/OC)

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Length and status: One shot, ongoing

Story link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/774280/

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Kwon Jaeha, the 7th grade student who falls deeply inlove to her senior named Lu Han.

  Lu Han, the exchange student from China and now currently on his 10th grade.

  Kwon Jaeha, just one of the normal faces that can be seen in the school.

The dark skin weak girl and the not-so-smart-one.

  Lu Han, one of the most handsome guys in the school.

The soccer player with milky skin and one of the smartest.

    They are the complete opposite of each other; dark and white, weak and strong,

stupid and smart, and most of all the popular and the not.

Kwon Jaeha has been admiring her senior named Luhan since her 6th grade as the boy arrived to their school as an exchange student from the neighbor country called China. She was stunned by his pretty face and his kindness. She was always watching him from a far, admiring him secretly until one day her friend told her go and tries to win his heart. She hesitated but then realizes that trying won't hurt her, or that's what she thought. Will she be able to? Will she be able to win his heart and be together? Or will she be a little too late?