I've gotten a few notes on a few different posts where someone in the tags brags about intentionally "body checking" someone else when they're in their way.
For example on a post I made about leaving the way clear for people exiting elevators or public transportation instead of standing right in front of the door blocking it I got a few notes from people saying "haha yeah I always give someone a good body check if they do this and I love seeing the shocked and offended look on their face"
or on a post about leaving room for the flow of traffic I had people in the notes bragging about giving "body checks" to people in their way on a sidewalk or in a hallway.
Do. Not. Ever. Ever. EVER intentionally bump into people aka give them a "body check". Anyone who brags about this kind of behavior in my notes is getting blocked. You are literally physically assaulting someone and then bragging about it. Physically assaulting another person is actually a lot worse than accidentally being in someone's way, and I have no tolerance for it.
The times in my life where someone has intentionally "body checked" me have been when I was disassociating and/or about to pass out from low blood sugar, or quite literally was as far off to the side as possible (literally up against a wall or packed up against other people in a crowded area) and every time this has happened it has ended in me having a full blown panic attack that I need to take emergency meds to come down from due to my PTSD.
You never know why someone could be in your way. They could be visually impaired. They could be disassociating. They could be about to pass out from low blood sugar. They maybe just experienced a disturbing or traumatic event that's shut down their pre-frontal cortext. All sorts of things. So congrats I guess on physically assaulting someone who might be disabled or disassociating or about to faint from low blood sugar. You sure are showing them.
Not only that, but it's unsafe for you too. There are violent and unstable people in this world, and you might "body check" the wrong person one day. I had a friend in secondary school who would brag about this kind of behavior, and when I was talking to my aunt about it one day she said to me "one day your friend is going to do that to the wrong person and find herself cleaning herself up off the floor."
And if you're only "body checking" people you think it's "safe" to, people who you're pretty sure won't be able to fight back? People smaller and weaker looking than you? Congrats, not only are you definitely a bully then, but you're also perpetuating systems of social injustices in this world like ageism and ableism by only going after "the weak".
can also see how this could be dangerous to rollator users . and yes , easy enough to think oh , would never do this to someone with mobility aids - but truth is will not necessarily always see mobility aids before snap decisions like this .
weight of rollator will depend on several factors , but 7 to 9 kg seem like fairly average guess . rollator users , naturally , can weigh 10 or ( many ) more times that . if balance of rollator user is thrown off , that rollator can easily glide ahead . given purpose as mobility aid , very likely for user to have at least one hand on rollator - which means that person will follow , and fall , and possibly get very hurt . this is true even with brakes on - brakes mean very little against full weight of person .
even one small snap decision can seriously hurt someone .
Really important point. When the doors for an elevator or public transportation open, and you see someone standing what you deem too close to the door, you really do only have a second or two to decide between a) saying excuse me or asking them to move b) just squeezing around them if you're really in a hurry and have no time to ask them to move or c) giving them a "body check" to punish them for being in your way.
And yes, you are 100% correct, in the second or two you have to decide between those options, you might not notice a mobility aid, and if you go for option c for a mobility aid user you can seriously hurt them.
Also, not everyone who is physically disabled and at serious risk of being hurt from a "body check" uses a mobility aid. My mom really should be using a mobility aid, she has vertigo so badly she sometimes has to old onto my arm if we go anywhere together in public, and she has really bad arthritis in her feet that make it harder for her to walk at quicker than a shuffling pace. And yet because of her not wanting to look "too old" she refuses to use mobility aids, and insists on running errands by herself on days her vertigo isn't "too bad". But if someone were to get annoyed with my mother, who moves extremely slowly and often wobbles from side to side, and they decide to give her a "body check" due to their impatience, they could seriously hurt her.
Also, my mom often uses accessories like wigs to try to hide her age, so even though she's pushing 70, when she's wearing a wig it's not always obvious. So if you think "Well, I would never do that to an old person" it's not always obvious, some people don't look their age and/or are good at hiding their age.
Hey guys did you know "pushed somebody and they fell and hit their head" is like. One of the most common forms of manslaughter?
#I can think of at least one invisible disability situation where being body checked could cause serious problems.#i'm pretty sure being jolted while having a colostomy bag can't be good.
Quick Overview of this Very Correct Thread (not written by AI, unless I haven't been told something fundamental about myself):
Not everyone causing an inconvenient situation is being rude. Sometimes there's a reason they're just in the way like that, seemingly oblivious, and whatever is happening to them is beyond normal control.
But even if they WERE just being self-centered, that's no excuse to willfully become aggressive toward them. When you do, the only thing you prove is that you're a bully who cannot be trusted, which is far worse than simply being oblivious or self-absorbed.
Also, yes, you can badly hurt or even kill someone if you jostle a person the wrong way, especially if it results in them falling over. In no rational world would your aggravation over a minor annoyance be worth catching a charge over. Grit your teeth, leave them alone, and move on with your life.
I just want to emphasize the point in the second-to-last paragraph above:
Even if someone IS just being rude, that still does nor give you license to physically assault them!
Something I forgot the mention but should, the fact that someone intentionally "body checking" you can be disturbing, potentially triggering PTSD if you have PTSD from physical assault and/or domestic violence etc. is exactly why it's considered polite to apologize when you do accidentally bump into someone.
It is important to let people know in one way or another that you meant no harm, you're not a bully trying to punish them for the crime of being in your way. Giving a quick "sorry!" (or gesturing "sorry" in your local sign language) can be important for defusing the situation. If they have PTSD it could stop them from spiraling into a panic attack to know that nobody just intentionally assaulted them, or if they're someone unstable who might start throwing hands at someone who would intentionally give them a "body check" you're also keeping yourself safe from harm.
#I hope this isn't an off topic thing but I wish people would say excuse me when I'm in their way instead of just staring and waiting#I'm sorry but sometimes I'm too into what cereal I should chose & that can make me unware of my surroundings
It's on topic enough I think. I also prefer when people say excuse me instead of just staring at me. If I'm just standing there trying to decide on what brand of pasta sauce I'd rather someone say "excuse me" then stand there and stare at me. If nothing else because I find a stranger standing and staring at me to be unnerving and uncomfortable, but also it's just easier and gets it all over with quicker to just ask me to step aside for a second.
However, I understand that some people are non-verbal, so sometimes saying "excuse me" isn't a choice, which is why I don't recommend lashing out at someone for standing and staring instead of saying "excuse me". If you really want to say something, you can be polite about it. However, most people I know who do this are capable of verbalizing "excuse me", and if you are capable of saying "excuse me" I do recommend it because plenty of people find it unnerving and uncomfortable to be stared at by a stranger. Plus it saves you time to just say "excuse me" rather than spending all that time staring them down waiting for them to get the hint.
Now, what I really really hate is something I've seen people in my notes call "the German shuffle", except people in Iceland do it too (so presumably in other parts of northern / western Europe) and I cannot emphasize how much I hate it and how rude I think it is. It's where if someone wants to get something you're standing in front of they just slowly shuffle closer and closer to you to basically try to intimidate you away. I hate hate hate standing in the grocery store, trying to decide what kind of bread I want, and suddenly I can feel a perfect stranger's breath on the side of my face because they decided slowly shuffling closer and closer to me is the best method of getting me to move so they can grab whatever I'm standing in front of.
Between being neurodivergent + having PTSD from interpersonal violence I'm not exactly a fan of having strangers intentionally violate my personal space! I get northern Europeans are scared of talking to strangers, but I'd much rather a stranger just uses words rather than violates my personal space to try to intimidate me away from the bread they want to grab.
Important additions I've gotten in the notes on why we don't "body check" people. You *really* can never know a someone else's medical status or why they're in your way.
