the blog of freedom

Spiritual Poetry

[blogoffreedom]

new dawn

you dont have to be spiritual or sensitive to energies to know that we are facing big changes as a species and as a planet. right now what that feels like is confusion, destruction, decay, despair, crumbling. we see how unsustainable we really are. and what is unsustanable must die. as is nature. and death is only natural. do not cling to your life as it is, or the planet as it is. it is sick and in pain and we need to move through this fever. again, this is what you have dreamed ever since your tender child was molested by the harshness of this world. let the ego, seperation and harmfulness die. let it die, and let the mother comfort you. but as all who knows of the nurturing mother and of spiritual and emotional practise, the flower blooms from the soil nurtured by our blood and tears. and it is the properties of new life, new hope, new prana and power we must take with us. when all that has to have come to and end we will see the dawn. our inner sun will rise beyond the clouds as they have before. watch the persistence of the love the world has to offer as it carries through with the change we need, using our sacrifises as fuel. at this time it can be good to connect with the goddess Kali. although many see her as gruesome death, the is only feared by the ego and only drinks the blood of demons. she is fiercely protective of her children and she can only be calmed by true love making. let her eat your wound, our collective wounds and use their nutriments to nurture us back to life as we grow into the power of true love making to this world and this life. --- what is awating us is a new era, the new earth.  for a long time we have had the law of attraction, or as i like to call it, the law of mirroring, since it mirrors our inner back to us. in that way it was good at showing us who we are, the universe viewing itself, but it made for alot of pain and suffering.   we have asked for another way to manifest, and that is by intention, hope. we have asked for oneness so that we can wish for not just ourselves but for all of us. that our desires reflect all of us, and not just our own need to get out of pain. it is a way of manifesting that rests on trust, is fueled my empathy and creates bliss love and connection. it is less about receiving and more about giving, shining. the vision was the earth covered in golden light as i looked at it, and how it was so confidently trusting because it knew that it was the provider of its own happiness and abundance for all life, even you, in your life. the words i associated with the feelings it got was confidence, trust, bliss, light, abundance, knowing, empathy, giving, gold, and power. maybe finally we will understand that we can not do something that feels wrong and get something that feels right. maybe we will begin to create lives that feel good for ourselves and for all. finally we will understand how to treat the earth and all it inhabitants with true empathy because we truly understand that we are one, and we truly know our power to bring about love. --- most of us have awoken because of pain. we have been in painful situation, and ofc the main question within us have been WHY does it have to be this way? for a long time that answer has been "because it lives in you", but that also means that we are realizing that it DOES NOT have to be this way! we are awakening to the fact that the world does not have to be so cold and rigid, that things can change and heal, not only for us in our lives but for the planet and the way we treat life. we are understanding the emotional hurt and structures that we have been carrying on as our legacy for the next generation to strive against, but we are shifting the current. we are owning our power and taking the responsibility for happiness on this earth. what is next is "what would make US feel amazing", the words of an empath, the sound of connection and oneness may we all bash in the light of love as we dance on the petals of the flower of life

[blogoffreedom]

poetry #2

it is not the art itself that is beautiful, the beauty blooms from your apriciation the goddess grow from the soil of your worship you are the vessel all beauty must go through to be filtered with gratitude, adoration, respect you make things beautiful by recognizing their beauty your humility is your art humility is your expression humility is your sacrifice at the alter of life surrender yourself to be tender to the raw naked beauty that surrounds you #howtomakelove

[blogoffreedom]

i heard this song the first time when i was around 13. i was curious about the lyrics and the title, and thats how i learned about the natives prophecy of the Rainbow Warriors.   “Of all the white horses In these times of evil spirits Of material thugs and mischief Fearing Saint Noni's wisdom And his love for rainbow spirits Jealous of their faithful heart-bond And their dancing and their laughing Made at last a league against them To molest them and destroy them Saint Noni wise and heart-strong Often said to Rainbowarrior "O my brother, do not leave me! Lest the evil spirits harm you!" Rainbowarrior of two spirits Gentle hand and lion-hearted He laughed and then he answered Like a child he softly whispered: We are Rainbowarriors Evil come not near Rainbow love awaits us With hearts of love and tears He's dead, our sweetest mother Loving father and our teacher He's gone forever He has moved a little nearer To the master of all laughter To the master of all song O my brother, O my brother Crystal brother of two spirits Then we gathered in a circle Stood round the rainbow fire Burning ember's hearts united We remember mystical beauty If you look hard you can find a Rainbow trail it's deep inside ya Fear not you're a Rainbowarrior Golden light on everything gleaming We are Rainbowarriors Evil come not near Rainbow love awaits us With hearts of love and tears”

[blogoffreedom]

Rainbow warrior

i am in a phase a rapid expansion. lately i have been experiencing intense spontanious healings, synchronizations, and energy surges.  i also experienced what i think of a divine information, a prophecy, sudden enlightenment. suddenly feeling, seeing, knowing something to be true. this is what i would like to write about today. my routine changes from day to day as the process evolves and i make the steps to shift. as of now my routine includes sunlight meditation with my ajna chakra, an alkaline and nearly vegetarian diet, hours on the internet receiving information and expanding my mind, weed, breathing sexual energy through my body, and grounding with crystals.

this has been made possible from the large amount of leisure that i have on my hands. i only work my movement meditation classes and the occasional therapy session. other than that i have all the time i could possibly ask for to explore and nurture my self. for that i am truly grateful.   i was sitting and reading in a relaxed meditative state, breathing sexual energy. i felt an intense activity and pressure, coming from the top of my head, and into my crown chakra. during the experience i would sometimes feel as if i would shed an old astral layer of negative energy, removing old karma. i would have sudden emotional outbursts, erradical thinking patterns (a common trait of the subconscious), and sudden impulsive urges to do or eat certain things.  whenever i did this i would feel relief and a sudden comfort and healing. whenever i was able to be in my meditative state of the observant, i could move through this intense healing, without having to process it consciously. i was able to release old trauma and karma simply by surrendering to and trusting my impulses and practicing the non attached mind.  in this manner i was rapidly shedding old negative energy and raising my vibration.  so as i was feeling this willful energy pressing down into my crown, i got a sudden insight about the battle going on right now at Standing Rock. i wrote it down. here it is. “have you guys realized that the Standing Rock/Dakota access pipeline is pretty much the last and final battle of old patriarchy, greed and the ego vs that of the feminine, the water, mother earth, the nurturer. the indigenous people are showing us how. their hearts are ablaze with will of the standing rock. they WILL protect mother earth. they WILL succeed. they show us the fighting spirit, the humble and respectful way of the rainbow warrior. this is the death of the old way, and our birth into the new. this is our shift into the age of love, communion and peace.  feel the chains breaking. feel the old loose its grip. raise your vibration, break free into freedom. join into the aid of mother earth. heed the call. send all your love, strength, and will. show how much you KNOW that this shit is IMPORTANT

all the aware soul notice this. all evolved people, who has felt the suppression the strongest, feel this call. they are hearing the call for us to rise and unite. together we can end this pain we have felt since first carnating into this world.“   ____  maybe you have heard of indigos, crystals and rainbows, also referred to as star children.  basically they are carnations of souls from other starsystems than that of the Earth, here to aid the change our planet must undergo to survive, at the same time enduring spectacular human lives, full of strife and expansion. these souls push our society to adjust into human alignment. they are here to pull families, communities and societies closer together, raise our vibration, and bridge the new age of what the human race desire the most - love, communion and peace. unity. oneness. i realize now that i am a rainbow child.  ___ this is the prophecy of the Natives. ”One day... there would come a time, when the earth being ravaged and polluted, the forests being destroyed, the birds would fall from the air, the waters would be blackened, the fish being poisoned in the streams, and the trees would no longer be, mankind as we would know it would all but cease to exist” “There will come a day when people of all races, colors, and creeds will put aside their differences. They will come together in love, joining hands in unification, to heal the Earth and all Her children. They will move over the Earth like a great Whirling Rainbow, bringing peace, understanding and healing everywhere they go. Many creatures thought to be extinct or mythical will resurface at this time; the great trees that perished will return almost overnight. All living things will flourish, drawing sustenance from the breast of our Mother, the Earth.” “The great spiritual Teachers who walked the Earth and taught the basics of the truths of the Whirling Rainbow Prophecy will return and walk amongst us once more, sharing their power and understanding with all. We will learn how to see and hear in a sacred manner. Men and women will be equals in the way Creator intended them to be; all children will be safe anywhere they want to go. Elders will be respected and valued for their contributions to life. Their wisdom will be sought out. The whole Human race will be called The People and there will be no more war, sickness or hunger forever.” “The leaders of the people would be chosen in the old way – not by their political party, or who could speak the loudest, boast the most, or by name calling or mud slinging, but by those whose actions spoke the loudest. Those who demonstrated their love, wisdom and courage and those who showed that they could and did work for the good of all, would be chosen as the leaders or Chiefs. They would be chosen by their “quality” and not the amount of money they had obtained.“   may we all unite, and bring fourth all of our colors to create the rainbow bridge to the new age.

[blogoffreedom]

W I S D O M  O F  B O D Y

last night i experienced a spontanious intuitive healing of my body, an experience that i would like to share with you guys. in my work as a therapist i help people with different kinds of issues. one of the things that i do is psychosomatic therapy. basically its build on the theory that whatever you experience as a physical symptom is created by your mind, reflecting an inner state. so to heal it you must see beyond the physical symptom itself and into the mind and soul. you must communicate, listen, understand and act in aligment to heal. its pretty simple, but its not always that easy. i hope this will allow you to gaze into the world of healing, and that you will be able to extract some insight and healing yourself from reading this. heres what happened --- i was sitting in my windowsill at night smoking. all of a sudden i felt an intense pain in my right shoulder. i tried to massage it and relax it. it came out of the blue, and i was slightly overwhelmed, and for a moment i could feel my mind go into a panic. the panic that comes from thinking that this is to intense for me to work with, and that i should just take a painkiller. but i really dont like painkillers, as they refrain you from dealing with your pain. i had one spark of a moment if i was to choose the path of fear and resistance or the one of trust and faith. i didnt even get the chance to think about it. my body and mind just went with the ladder. so i closed my eyes and tried to feel or see into the pain. i saw it very clearly in my minds eye as a golden energetic cord, streching from my jaw, which has been craking and hurting when i ate, down in between my shoulder and neck, through my chest and into my heart, back out again, into my arm and down into the index finger of my right hand. i tried to make it as real and vivid as possible, not just seeing it as an image, but actually feeling how this was in my body right that moment. i decided to lay down to relax my body further before venturing even deeper. i breathed deeply for a few moment to oxygenate my body and power up the healing process. i then proceeded to communicate to my body. i tried my best to create my questions as a feeling state within me too. when asking, i tried to radiate curiosity, genuine interest and willingness to listen. when i received an answer i would let the feeling of understanding, compassion and contemplation vibrate through my body. what are you doing? what are trying to help me do? what are you a symptom of? why are you here? “to rescue you” i know. from what? “from failing” from what? “from not making a difference. from not mattering” the night before i had been quite puzzled and feeling down about what i should do in life, workwise. basically, i have the totally luxurious problem of wanting to make a difference through my work in the world, and realizing that i have both the possibility and the ability to do pretty much whatever the fuck i want. so my dilemma was choosing. my dilemma was that if i have all the gifts and all the time, then why am i for the most part sitting paralyzed and isolated in my apartment? its like im trying to shock myself out of paralysis by scolding myself with what sounds like positive affirmations, but really is a guilt trip inspired my frustration, desperation and powerlessness. i saw this situation very clearly in my mind, and i was then able to see the link between my physical pain and the psycological pain from the night before. as i realized and understood the link, i asked my body what do you want me to do? the answer was swift and clear. “go make a difference NOW” and again i was flooded with images, but this time it was of me in situations where i was contributing. i saw myself gardening, i saw myself politically involved, i saw myself taking care of people, and doing voluntary work “you dont have to make money doing meaningful work right now. you are feeling miserable. go do the difference that you can now. take your power and utilize it now. you wont feel like you are wasting your time, and doing this work will make you feel better. it will make it so much easier and clearer what direction to go in life” i then felt an immense gratitude. for my body and its wisdom. i deeply felt the thruth of the fact that everything it does is trying to help me, everything it does is trying to help me have the most awesome life. it will always be there for me, working around the clock, always having my back. i let the gratitude and mix of humility and pride fill my body, still while breathing deeply. was body was radiating a golden light, and i felt the vibration of all my cells, healing, working, celebrating. it was like a flood of joyous life force. my body was so confidently happy, i felt like crying with joy. during this experince i felt compelled to give back to my body. i wanted to honor it. so i asked it how i could take care of it back? “you truly love and trust your body. for this you should be proud, but you also need to work to put your respect into action. keep eating healthy, keep moving in ways that feel good, keep nurturing and protecting me. but i also want AIR. pure fresh air. i need oxygen. so you need to stop smoking” it was like the flow of my body stopped immediately. like it was switched off. this was the feeling of resistance. i whined back. but i liiiiiike to smoke again, my body’s reaction was swift and clear. all the pain in the right side of my body switched back on with a insisting itensity. “this is serious. are you truly devoted and dedicated to this life? to your body? do you really want to have an amazing and fufilling life? then you must listen to me, or live a life of pain and sickness” it was a tough argue, but i also knew that this was the truth. this is about dedication. this is about doing what it takes. this is about integrity. but it is also about me respecting and honoring the truth. i must LIVE the truth. there is no shortcut, and no easy way. there is only the way of truth, of body, soul and heart. and that is the only path leading me to my happiness. i still had the guts to ask if i could still smoke weed. and my body was like “yeah” *internal higfive* --- i laid down for a few more moments oxygenating, feeling the healing in my body, the golden vibrating vitality, and integrating the insight gained from the experience. this is the first time i have a healing experience as profound as this one, and i was both surprised and exited about the nature of the process. i have never had such a clear conversation with my body, nor had the sensations in my body be this clear and defined. it is as if my own willingness to trust and listen to my body made it easier for it to communicate, or for me to understand and feel. as if my own desire to truly believe in the power of the healing body, manifested this experience. i hope that this writing was useful to you and helped you reach higher levels of healing and insight. may the power be with you

[blogoffreedom]

truth on tape

[blogoffreedom]

poetry #1

Of my way of seeing you, and your own, which do you believe most accurately reflect the truth of what you are? If you can understand or comprehend my view of you, then that is a way of viewing yourself. What would our relation look like if i saw you through your eyes, and you saw me through mine? Our relationship to each other reflect our relationship to our selves. and our relationship to our selves are reflected in our relation to each other.  #loveyou

[blogoffreedom]

A U T H E N T I C I T Y

Art by Alexandra Levasseur A while ago i went to a fancy bar, where i met a man. We were both smoking outside and we started conversating. He wore a suit, and looked like he came straight from work. He asked me what i did and i told him that i teach meditation and do therapy. He then asked me something that startled me at first. He asked me if i was ever wondering how my appearance might affect my clients and other business relations, reffering to my septum piercing and light purple hair. I took another puff on my cigarette and proceeded to answer his question. I am a therapist. People come to me because they have problems in their lifes that they hope i might be able to help them with. They are hoping I might help them feel better. And my way of doing that is by bringing them closer to who they are, their true nature. I want to help them uncover their authentic self. To be able to do that I need to know what authenticy is. I need to know the struggle of staying true, when faced with insecurities, judgement and rejection. I need to show them that being themselfes will cause them to succeed when they fear it will cause them to fail. I need to show them that people will approve of you are. That shining out your true natural expression will not only set you free, but set others free aswell. I need to be an example of that. I need to walk my talk. I need to practise what i preach. I need to show them that even though I too feel insecure, that i will choose to be courageous and shine my light. And that I need to do that all of the time. And if it scares away potential clients, then its fine. If it scares away potential business partners, then its fine. Cause I truly believe that being me is a benefit, even when i looks like its not. Because if people regard me as incompetent or not trustworthy due to my appearance, then its not really someone I want to work with or have in my life anyway, and it that sense, by shining my light I not only attract loving people into my life, i also signal to jugdemental people that my space is no place for them. It went a little something like that. Now it was the suit who was startled. Clearly provoked he finished his cigarette and went inside. I never saw or spoke to him again, but as much as the conversation helped me clarify my values and what i stand for, i hope he gained some insight on his own life and persona too. I used to struggle with this alot. I used to feel so different, like an alien among people. I would look at them and compare myself to them, from the perspective that we were different, and that the difference separated us. The disconnection caused a bigger and bigger gap. I felt extremely lonely. My ability to empathize was numb. I trusted noone, even though i longed for anyone to show me kindness. This was reflected in all of my relationships, both personal and professional ones. I had a hard time finding a job. But at some point, being tired of trying to make myself as appealing as possible, and still not feeling like i fitted in anywhere, I decided that no matter what situation i faced, staying true to myself would benefit me. I used this a mantra whenever i felt the insecurity. Whenever i doubted myself, or felt like i was to little or too much or too this or too that. Being me in this situation is an advantage. Being me is a benefit. And suddenly i could turn the dread of rejection around. If they had rejected me while i was being 100% myself, then i guess it wasnt for me anyway. It was hard work, but it payed off. And on the path of my journey i became myself more and more, and i started doing work that i truly valued, with people who truly respected me. I am happy to say that my relationships are more meaningful, fufilling and intimate than ever. And thats also true for my relationship with myself. The vunerability of showing myself made me stronger in the end. It helped me step into my true power. I am now able to look myself in the mirror and really like the person i see reflected. I am able to feel pride in what i do. i am able to feel compassion. I am able to love myself. And that is the true power of authenticy. Being you will surely lead you in the direction of your happiness. Trust who you are, and bloom into magnificence. “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ― Anaïs Nin

[blogoffreedom]

T H E  P A T H

It’s been a while since i put anything up on the blog. To be honest i have been busy, not only with moving, but also with selfdoubt, uncertainty, confusion, stuckness and frustration. All the joys of a constant expanding consciousness.

The thing about being stuck is that you only have two options, and they are both so terrifying that you become stuck. My stuckness has been about this very blog.

One of the beautiful things about dreams and passions is that it requires you to heal. To fulfill your goal you must become the person able to achieve it, by healing yourself.

I dont know where i am going, but i know that this blog is part of the way there. And so i must not shy away from it. I have had to embrace my fears.

To do that i decided to freewrite all the bullshit mind babbeling that has been going on. I decided to give my shadow some airtime.

Heres what it looked like. What im writing is unhelpful. What im writing might be wrong. Im overly confident. Noones gonna read it. I just wanna make money, but i probably wont. Noone cares what ive been through. Im nothing special. I know nothing of value. I dont know how to live. My perspective is limited. Im just doing it for the aknowledgement. My blog is better if im super humble about it. I shouldnt want attention. Everyone has a blog. Someones blog is way better than mine. People dont understand me. Im way to abstract. Noone wants to hear about me and my life. Who am i to think i know better. Who am i to think i can help.

Some of the things on this list might be true. Some might be false. But they are all very real.

As harsh as this list is it was truly liberating to get it out. There really is power to facing you demons.

Writing this out almost dissolves the fear, like gentle sunlight.

Do not keep your shadow in the shadow. Show it light and compassion.

Do not banish your fears. Bring them with you into healing.

Do not deny the aspect of you that is hurting. Show it love.

In terms of this exercise I am gonna come up with another list. This list is fueled by passion, and based on trust. It is the counterweight to the other list. All the things i do truly believe in that caused me to start this blog in the first place, and which caused me to pick up my virtual pen and write this blogpost. For you. And for me.

I am gonna write something helpful. I am gonna write something true. I deserve to feel good about it. Helping feels good. I am good at writing. My insight has great value in my life, and i trust and believe it will have great value for other people aswell. This blog is a process, showing my process, supporting the process of others. No matter what my perspective is, its always gonna resonate with someone, and together we raise out consciousness and vibration. I deserve to be aknowledged. I am very good at understanding abstract consepts. My experiences have and has had real meaning that is useful. I do not benefit anyone by playing small. This blog does not stem from ego, but from my soul. This blog is about radiating healing love.

May this post inspire you to rise up to face your fears, and bring you closer to your authentic self, your goals, and a life of purpose and joy.

[blogoffreedom]

C O M P A S S I O N

you have probably experienced scolding before. maybe you have even scolded someone else before.

scolding is a verbal attack, with the intention of manipulation.

it is the act of making something that you want feel so bad that you wont want it anymore. it is the act of making you feel bad for wanting it. it is the act of diminishing your desires.

this is primarily experienced as a child, or in a setting where someone is the authority. anywhere someone wants you to act a certain way. anywhere someone wants to seize control over you.

scolding is just as any punishment, a false fabricated consequence designed to control your behavior.

but at some point it gets less frequent.

you grow up and you learn to anticipate it. you learn to fear it. you learn to keep yourself in check.  to some people this is the definition of successful adulthood.

now you dont need scoulding anymore.

why?

because now you are scolding yourself.

now they dont need to scold you anymore, cause you are doing it so well yourself.

what used to their external voice is now your own voice.

your inner voice.

youre fat. youre stupid. youre a mistake. suck it up. your feelings are silly. you shouldnt want this. this shouldnt be so hard. you cant do anything right. youre pathetic. stop crying.

and the list goes on.

this is negative thinking. this is negative self talk.

you were just a child when you allowed them into your mind. there is no way you can help it. but you can change it.

yes, you are not a child anymore. now you are the grownup. now you are the caretaker. now is the time to take care of the child inside of you.

and you can choose not to scold yourself. you can reclaim your voice, and make it the voice of wisdom, intuition and genuinity.

noone can make you do something you dont want but you. noone can keep what you want from you but you.

noone has the power over you but you.

the first step is a healthy loving relationship with yourself. the first step is compassion.

compassion for who you are. compassion for your longings. compassion for things you lost. compassion for your emotional needs. compassion for the innocence of your desires.

you just want to feel good. you just want to be happy.

you just wanna allow the soft sweetness of you childlike joy.

you can choose to listen. you can choose to comfort. you can choose to define responsibility for yourself. you can choose to define resposibility as radical care for your happiness.

you are more than alright. you are beautiful. you are capable of great kindness and love. you deserve to feel good on your own terms.

tell yourself that.

cause its the truth.

[blogoffreedom]

M A N I F E S T A T I O N // T R U S T

the law of attraction is a subject that you would usually stumple upon when browsing the spiritual community, and even though the law (also called the law of mirroring) is very simple, it is still hard for people to grasp.

i have had my wrestles with the LOA. somehow this is always something you stumble upon in times of despair, and when you read all these articles, and watch all these youtube videos, and hear all these incredible stories you start to work on it yourself.

it is around this time that the shadow side of the LOA and the spiritual community will rear its ugly head.

why are you not seeing any results of your hard work? maybe you havent been positive enough. maybe youre caught in a endless circle of shit. maybe you only have yourself to blame for attracting all this in the first place, and now you feel powerless to the fact that you cant seem to change it.

the question is, how do you handle negative emotion?

unpleasant emotions happen, and you cannot escape them, nor condemn them if you want to be a whole being. but now you were taught that feeling bad will make you attract bad things. down the spiral we go.

the answer is the attitude about your feelings.

bad feelings feel bad, so ofcourse you think they are bad. a thought creates a feeling, that creates an act, that creates a manifestation.

what if i told you it is perfectly fine to feel like crap - and actually ment it. what creates the problem is feeling crap about feeling crap because you think it is bad. and that is what will get you down the crap spiral.

feeling bad about feeling bad is resistance.

___

in my personal experience i have a few feelings that i aim for. one of those are freedom, another is trust.

when i used to be less awake i would want safety. but wanting to feel safe stems from fear. trust on the other hand stems from love. trust gives you your power back. no matter what happens to you, you can choose to trust. trust is your responsibility. trust is in your hands.

it so is that trust is a critical ingredient in manifestation.

trust means believing that life and the universe wants whats best for you. trust means believing that you will receive what you asked for. trust means believing that the now if offering you what you need, even though it may not seem like something you want.

i like to think that manifestations show up in opportunities. that that is lifes way of asking me what i truly want. how do i act when given the opportunity to walk my talk? will i reach for the chance when i see it?

when life gives you lemons, it may not only be an opportunity to learn and exercise your values and what you believe in, i may also be preparing you for exactly what you have been asking for.

you have had to make lemonade before, and hopefully you are grateful for that lesson now. that what you learned turned out to be invaluable to your life.

trust that this is whats happening again. trust that life does not throw a ball you cannot catch. even spending some time on the bench may be exacly what you need to learn how to do.

so today trust that everything is exacly as it is supposed to be. trust that everything is perfectly fine, even though it may appear to be falling apart.

choose trust and move through your times of despair and hardships with grace.

‪#‎iamthedesignerofmyowncatastrophy‬

[blogoffreedom]

E M P A T H Y

there's alot of bad people around, the ones that hurt you in small ways on a daily basis, and those who commit crimes that shake the world.

if you are human you have done bad things. not only in the sense that you may have been disobedient and skipped school or work or whatever. you may have done something really bad. you may have been destructive or abusive. you may have intended to hurt people and succeded.

i have done things like that myself.

i have lied. i have stolen. i have manipulated. i have been destuctive. i have been violent. i have been hateful.

and i have faced the consequenses of all those things.

but not only the false fabricated consequenses made up by authorities around me to control my behavior. i have felt what it does to a human to do such things. both before and after, short term and in the long run.

i have asked myself why.

why did i do those things?

the closest thing i have come to an answer is that i felt really bad. and at some point i had to express it. i had to vent. either it happened in a explosive manner destroying relationships and material things. other times it happened little at the time, almost as a secret. if you would have asked me if i was aware of my actions and its consequences i probably would have, but noone ever did.

the behavior was all a symptom to the disease of loneliness, frustration, powerlessness, hurt and anger.

but most of the reactions i ever got from my actions was being shamed, punished, isolated, disaproved of.

people dont like bad things. and they dont like people who do bad things. and suddenly they cant differ between a bad deed and a bad person. they will attack what is bad, even if they decide that what is bad is you. even though they do it at the best of intentions. even if think they do it with love, with the intention of protection.

___

i used to lack empathy alot. and i was oblivious to it until a friend of mine told me with tears in her eyes. i realised she was right. i realised i didnt care how i made her feel. and i let the words hurt me. i let myself become hurt. and in the soft body of hurt i decided to change. i did, and i can tell that empathy is an ongoing process, much like everything else in life.

to me, empathy is alot about feeling. it started my recognizing that people are not that different, and even though they are anyway, i could still relate. i could still imagine how i might make them feel. and soon i could feel how i made them feel. soon i could feel how it made me feel to do things with constant focus on my heart. suddenly i could see beauty in a smile beauty surrounding me i could feel beauty within me.

i could start to show myself empathy i could start to show myself mercy

even when noone else could

and i could start to understand why i did bad things. i did so because i felt bad.

any bad action is a reflection of the bad feelings ruling inside a human being.

___

lately i have started to explore the concept that if people need to feel bad to do bad, then how bad do they have to feel to do certain things.

for example, how bad would i have to feel to actually think that refugees dont belong in my country. how bad would i have to feel to hit an animal or a child. how bad would i have to feel to starve myself to get skinnier. how bad would i have to feel to drive a truck into a mass of celebrating people.

and for a moment i can feel it.

for a moment i can feel how bad one have to feel to do such things.

the loneliness, frustration, powerlessness, hurt and anger.

and this is how i exercise my empathy.

because the world dont need for more shame, punishment, isolation, or disaproval.

it need love. it need empathy. it needs mercy.

‪#‎yourpowerliesnotincontroilingbutinlettinggo‬ ‪#‎yourpowerliesnotinhatingbutinloving‬

[blogoffreedom]

I L L U S I O N S

in life it is easy to feel stuck. its easy to feel constricted.

its easy to feel like in between must do's and should do's theres no room for want to do's.

its easy to feel like the weed of chores is drowning out the light of pure living.

there are only 24 hours in a day. 7 days on a week. 4 weeks in a month and 12 months in a year. how many years do you expect to live? how many has passed already?

its easy to spend life struggling. its easy spending life earning the right to live.

humans were never ment to be slaves. and especially not to themselves. especially not to themselves personally.

you are the only person to access your mind. but you are easily influenced.

not only did you spend your childhood waching people go to work and buy stuff. all your childhood has been preparing you to enter the workforce.

you have been trained to answer the question of what you wanna do when you grow up with a work title.

you have been trained to believe that what you do defines who you are.

you have listened to a million voices telling you what to do to ahieve happiness, drowning out the silent wisdom of your inner voice.

soon your inner voice is their voice.

soon when you dont do as you think you should or think you must, your inner voice becomes the piercing voice of people who dont even exist.

who are they?

you are not a child anymore.

as a child you were raised into obidience. you learned to obey authorities.

you were told it was for your own good.

and you still believe it.

you still believe that all the things you must do and should do is for your own good.

is it?

someone still believe that freedom is something you earn. that you have to earn your right to freedom. that it was not inheretly deserved.

you still believe that your freedom is on the other side of something you must do or should do.

but its not.

you still think that your power is something to be granted.

but noone can have the power over you unless you allow them to. noone can really make you do anything.

in the end the choice is yours. in the end you can tell them to get the fuck out of your head, your life, your business.

in the end you can choose to test what they say.

you can test if you feel happier by your values, than theirs.

these limitation are but illusion installed in your head. you cant help it. but you can change it.

dare to test reality. dare to test the perceived limitations. dare to do nothing of value to them. and everything in value to you.

own your own freedom. own your own power.

it was yours from the start.

now is the time to take it back.