A complex beauty..in a concrete jungle 🥀 @bloodr0se87 - Tumblr Blog

NEWEST UPDATE: I need help buying the meds for the last of April and the next two months. I have been able to support my mom’s situation thanks to everyone’s generosity but we are back to being broke and having to buy a few pills at a time. I am often stuck with empty packages. Please share this post if you can. We need to prepare for May and June’s meds as well (which is 500$ a month after coupons, so 1k), because I have no idea how we are going to get through until then. I still can't believe and express the amount of gratitude you all have helped in getting her the meds for the last few months. We need 65$ for the remaining meds for THIS month (April).

This April, we will need 65$- If anyone can help, share this or donate, it all helps with giving me hope that things will be fine in the end. I just can't wait until she won't need these pills come the end of June, as she only needs them for one year and the treatment for this med is close to being done.

My P*yp*l is: [email protected]

⬆️ photo of the medication with my user name, this is often what I am left dealing with mentally, and I care very deeply for my mom as she has been a huge support for me so this is undeniably stressful

4/25/23

Well, it's almost a year since I wrote on here.. SOO much has happened since the last time...

My mother passed away. Honestly I don't even know what is going on.. I miss her alot.. I know my little brother tries to keep her memory alive by doing his "mami'isms" but it's not the same. I feel like I didn't take her being around seriously. I had a few dreams about her shortly after she passed. Sometimes it gets me thinking about the after life.

My older sister told me that she heard her voice clear as day saying hi to her, my first dream about her was of all of us in the house and she was talking to me, i remember a little bit of it. We were on the porch outside.. sadly I can't recall what she was saying cause my other OLDER sister was screaming over her. The same older sister who decided that since her mother passed away that she could finally dispose of the 4 adopted kids * aka me * after her mother passed. Which is PURE BS. And on top of the fact that she is bitter she is going around telling ppl that SHE was taking care of my mom when that's not true! I was the one leaving my job and going to the rehab - leaving and getting home close to midnight while this bxtch used the excuse of her child for not going.. yeah OK. I just know my conscience is clean && I did what I had to do. I feel bad for my dad and brother cause their lives have definitely changed since they were with her 24/7.

Also within that time frame - I lost my job. My hospital closed due to a sale. WHICH WAS PURE BS. They decided to interview us all and just low balled and bs'd majority of us!!! Mr got a job with them, more money which is good, but his schedule is a mess. Sometimes I worry cause i'm scared that it would mess with our relationship, but we have 11yrs under our belt I know we'll be good.

I feel like I'm drowning sometimes.. i've been applying to jobs ( mostly remote ) so I can be close to my dad and i've gotten nothing back. Just flourishing rejections.. my severance just ended so it's time for the UI line for the first time ever in my life. I'm trying to be strong and keep my faith but i'm a little scared i'm not gonna hold you. My loved ones have been trying to keep me off the ledge but it's scary. And i'm doing alot by myself in regards to my dad. Well outside of my brother who has CP so I try and not expect much from him. And in that note we also failed him as a person on this earth. SO many opportunities that he missed out on due to mom's controlling habits. It's like taking care of a brand new baby. But I did take him to see the Mario Movie. He loved it. I'm glad he got to enjoy himself and have a good time.

I am grateful for all the things that I have. as the Mr says " You have food, a roof over your head.. " yea that's true! lol but i Still need a job. I got a car I gotta pay off..

I'm just praying for a miracle.

#grief #loss #life upd8

Life update i guess? #kanyeshrug 5/30/22 17:01

Wow, it's been ages since i've been on here! So much has happened since the last time --- I guess i can go ahead and journal this one out

Well Since the time I have been gone... I have been trying to wrap my head around the thought of my parents getting older and it's scary honestly.

My mother is in the hospital right now as i am currently trying to recover from C19 = It's day 5. I can breathe a little better now, Still have some nasal blockage. This cough is annoying as hell! I had a fever that took DAYS to break, On the other hand - My mom is in the hospital - She had a mini stroke today - We aren't even sure. It's so hard not being there when i am stuck in quarantine. She called me yesterday to check on me and i'm like Mom worry about your self . lol don't worry about me . Imma be ok. Sometimes i sit and wonder if she knows what's happening.. I know we have a rough relationship but i would HATE to see any one go through any of this - It's really a mind fuck and so sad... As my boyfriend told me ... " Your father is the one that is really watching her wither away right before his eyes... " Honestly, since he told me that - I can't stop thinking about it... Like wow.

I am grateful that I have him in my life. Because he's really matured so much since we met and he has opened my eyes to a lot of things / people. Sometimes I wonder if he knows how truly i take his words to heart. Like let me tell you- When we met I was just a naive in my mid 20's girl as this man was just hitting 40! LOL i know they say that girls are more mature then men are - But what I can say is this - yes he may have been older and I was doing some wild shit when i was younger but how I can best describe us is that - WE BOTH grew up together - but apart at the same time - It makes sense to me - If it doesn't to others than maybe it's something that's not meant to under stand. But i love how for so long - This many years we still love each other and crave each other like it's still the beginning stages. I know he's opened alot of his doors that he's held shut for me and i don't take that for granted at all.. Anyway let me get off this subject before i get all mushy.

But also , I wanna look back on this - as time passes and go wow. We did it.. Also - I want to just see how far we come after this post .. Since where we both work seems to not be doing so well and gave us a one more year around the block tour. So we'll see months from now where we are.

#journaling #daily life #where are they now

quotemadness

“She wears strength and darkness equally well, the girl has always been half goddess, half hell.”

— Nikita Gill

mikaeled

We have a city to burn. Keanu Reeves in Cyberpunk 2077

closet-keys

Underrated form of intimacy: being silly together

xenosaga

yall ever be losing your fucking mind but chilling at the same time

kokynarai7

“When the day is over, let it go. Don’t dwell on what you could’ve or should’ve done. Tomorrow is another day and another chance.”

— Mandy Hale (via amargedom)

daisyjazzridley

keanuhumanreeves

pajamasecrets

there’s the famous keanu mouth-cover-giggle!!! how can a 54 year old man be this ADORABLE

pajamasecrets

Keanu Reeves playing with puppies!

queerex

Hey so uhhh this is extremely important. Please be careful when going around. I think I ran across the video myself, but I didn’t really stick around it to find out what it was for sure.

It is suggested to turn off video autoplay, especially if you use Twitter a lot.

Stay safe, everyone. Pray for New Zealand.

krysslabryn

Thanks for the thumbnail description. I don’t have words for how awful they are for doing this. I can’t help the victims directly but at least we can spread the word and rob them of this one goal. Besides, how awful for any friends or relatives to come across it.