It goes without saying: nightmares are scary. They can leave you feeling emotionally distraught, unsafe, and rob you of sleep. This post will be covering nightmares caused mostly by trauma, but will help with any other kind, too.
So how can you help yourself begin to heal and cope with them? Unfortunately, nightmares are a part of life that humans just can’t escape from. They are our brains’ way of processing things sometimes.
Recurring nightmares are different from the regular kind; these usually happen when a part of us is stuck in the healing steps and the brain is struggling to understand something.
So, let’s break up dealing with nightmares in four parts!
Journal about the most recent nightmares you can remember. Your subconscious is showing you these things, and it can be really hard to relive them. So when you sit down to commit these to memory, bring soothing music, a cup of your favorite drink (tea, coffee, water), perhaps a pet in your lap, and don’t forget to stop and breathe if you have to.
Sometimes recovery and healing can seem like that never-ending staircase in the old Mario game. Try not to take too many steps and risk wearing yourself out. Take your time. Recovery isn’t a race.
Talk about your nightmares with a friend. If trying to find symbolism in them helps out, try that, too. Our subconscious likes to think that we can understand that a cloud in the sky might actually mean we miss our mothers, so this might take some time.
Don’t let things frustrate you. If you begin to feel frustrated, tense, or stressed, take a break. This can be ten minutes, an hour, a week, whatever you need.
When you’re not processing, try to make your days as stress free as possible. Do things that relax you and make you happy. Self care, self care, self care!
Try to limit your time around toxic people. You don’t have to cut them out of your life or delete them, just try to keep them at a distance for some time while you work things out with yourself.
Listen to some music that you like and that brings up good music.
Do you have pets? Try cuddling with them and petting them. Get those relaxation chemicals in your brain running!
Take a warm bath. I love taking bubble baths that have calming herbs in them, such as lavender or chamomile. (Always check to make sure you aren’t allergic to soaps by testing a small part of your skin first)
Light some candles with nice scents. Lavender, lilac, anything. Always put them out before you sleep, and never leave them unattended!
Sound machines can help, but if, like me, they’re out of your budget, YouTube has rain sounds, thunder, ocean sounds, etc.
If you’re scared of the dark (like me), invest in a nightlight (or twenty)
I’m really bad about following this (which means I don’t at all), but try not to be on electronics like your phone while you’re going to bed. The bright light keeps you more awake, and stops your brain from releasing the drowsiness chemicals.
If you absolutely can’t stay away from your phone or computer, try downloading f.lux. f.lux alters the light coming from your screen to a yellower hue, which is shown to negate some of the sleep-inhibiting affects of electronics!
If you’re like me, talking to someone until you pass out might be helpful. If I’m not skyping with someone i trust, I text a bunch of people until I sleep. (See how I didn’t just follow the above advice?)
Go to bed thinking that you will have a nice restful sleep. Be confident that you will have good dreams, and you’ll wake up feeling great. I know this can be hard, so it may take a bit of training yourself, but it works. I used to go to sleep every night crying and having panic attacks because i was so afraid I’d have a nightmare, and then I’d go ahead and have one. If you stress yourself out about it, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Have you heard of lucid dreaming? This is the sort of dreaming that happens when you realize you’re dreaming. Suddenly you can control your dreams, you can fly, you can… dream up a nightmare.
If you find yourself suddenly lucid while you’re dreaming, take this chance to make positive things happen.
Grab a character in your dream. Request (firmly, but not meanly) that they do something fun or awesome. You can ask anything! Ask them for a joke, ask them to show you something beautiful.
Don’t be afraid. You are in control here. This is your dream.
If you want to learn how to lucidly dream every night and get really good at it, I recommend a lot of research. Here is a good place to start! There’s a lot of benefits (like less nightmares) to controlling your dreams, so it might be worth your while.
Understand that you are safe.
Real world rules don’t apply in your dreams. You won’t get in trouble for punching that authority figure. You won’t get in trouble for screaming in frustration or fear. Let it out. Take action. Empower yourself, friend, because in your dreams you are the only one with the power.
When You Wake up From a Nightmare
Take a few seconds to breathe. Breathe in while counting to seven through your nose, and count to eleven while you breathe out of your mouth.
Repeat “I am awake now and I am okay. I am in my room, I am not dreaming anymore.”
Make sure you’re okay. Call a friend, hug your pillow, get up and draw… do whatever it takes.
You’re not weak or a failure for having nightmares. Repeat this to yourself in your mind. You are strong for facing your dreams.
If it’s late at night, try to go back to sleep. If you feel you can’t, please don’t force yourself. Lay in bed and play on your phone, or just talk to people that are awake. You might fall back to sleep on your own, but if not it’s perfectly okay to get up and go about your normal routine.
Nightmares are frightening to say the least, but I promise that you can do this. You are strong, you are a fierce warrior! Those monsters in your dreams better run, because you have strength within you that they will never have.
