The heart-breaking thing is, Satoru would never have left Suguru the way Suguru left him.
When Satoru was near his breaking point, instead of just killing all the cultists, he waited to ask Suguru if they should do it. To him, it was together or not at all. Suguru chose not at all, and he listened.
When Suguru was at his breaking point he had already felt alone so he didn’t bother extending a hand to Satoru. What would have happened if he called Satoru before he massacred the village? I believe that Satoru would have talked him down.
The thing is, because of his self-isolation, Suguru made the decision on his own and consequently left Satoru. Which, as we all saw, quite literally caused irreparable damage within Satoru.
But even still, even after Suguru left Satoru, Satoru never abandoned Suguru. He let him live, let him kill people, let him galavant all over Tokyo as an evil curse user with a genocidal agenda—all because he couldn’t let him go.
And it’s like, Suguru may have felt that Satoru left him first, what with him being too busy on missions and ignoring the warning signs that Suguru had been putting out for a couple years, being the strongest alone—
But half of that was Suguru’s own mental spiral. He made himself believe that Satoru didn’t care anymore, and because of that, furthered his own isolation. He self-sabotaged.
And in the end, he was the only one who left.
Years later, after he’s long gone, Satoru is still there, right where he left him.
I believe they were the bestest of friends, inseparable soul mates who were mutually in love with each other, but never confessed the depth of their feelings, never discussed their relationship, and never actually made anything out of it.
I believe that Suguru had a massive crush on Satoru throughout their high school years. Satoru was more dense on the other hand and did love Suguru but didn’t know how to place his feelings exactly. Suguru was always by his side and that was enough, he felt secure, so why look into it deeper?
After the trauma from the Star Plasma Vessel mission, Suguru was heartbroken that Satoru left him alone a lot. He missed Satoru and spiraled, self-isolated, started becoming obsessed with his own self-talk about ‘monkeys’ and ‘creating a new world with sorcerers only’. He and Satoru both became self-absorbed. Suguru lost that crush and admiration he had for Satoru even though he still loved him. He wanted his own goals more. So he left.
The second he left, I bet that’s when Satoru realized what Suguru meant to him. That’s probably one of the reasons that Satoru is stuck in the past, because he finally placed his feelings for Suguru, realized he was in love with him, and kept replaying those moments they had together, realizing he never noticed Suguru sending signals, mad at himself for never noticing. He regretted it so badly that he just couldn’t stop living in the past with Suguru. If he’d just paid attention, if he noticed Suguru’s signals, his spiraling, maybe he could have stopped it.
That moment where Suguru returns to the high school to declare war only to leave again, when Satoru watches and watches, (according to the JJK 0 Light Novel) his “eyes kept following the shape of Geto’s soul”. He couldn’t look away. He was filled with so much regret. His entire creed is to raise strong sorcerers together so that no one has to be alone the way Suguru and he ended up.
And when the time came for him to kill Suguru, because last words are so important to him, he finally told Suguru what he should have told him when they were high schoolers. “I love you.”
Suguru, who’d long buried those feelings, probably realized that the things he’d told himself about how Satoru viewed him were wrong. This whole time, Satoru really did love and trust him still. That’s why he smiled. He was loved in return.
“You should at least curse me a little at the end.”
He wishes Satoru would have hated him because now he’s filled with regret. If only they’d had talked sooner, none of this would have happened. Suguru had always placed emphasis on ‘found family’. We see this when he calls Kuroi “Riko’s family” and when he adopts Mimiko and Nanako, as well as the rest of the sorcerers/curse users he rounds up for the Night Parade of 1,000 Demons. With that said, I know for a fact that when they were in high school, he saw Satoru as his family. He saw him as home, as safety, as love.
Really, the only time that he and Satoru aren’t putting on some sort of act is when they’re alone together. It’s strange to see the two of them so serious, especially Satoru, who deflects with humor like his life depends on it. But it’s fitting. They’re just comfortable around each other, there’s no need for masks. They never even seriously raised their hands against each other, nor fatally hurt each other’s family/students.
Now, fast-forward to a year later in Shibuya, when Kenjaku uses the love Satoru and Suguru have for each other against Satoru. How does he know seeing Suguru would have such a drastic effect on Satoru that it would immobilize him completely? Did he watch from afar? Did he keep tabs on them? Or did he see Suguru’s memories somehow? Could he feel how Suguru felt when around Satoru? I’d like to think it was both—Kenjaku kept tabs on them before Suguru died, and gained access to his memories after taking him over.
He even knew the tone Suguru used to use for Satoru’s name. The soft way he called his name. He knew the only thing in the entire world that could stop the strongest sorcerer in modern times was using the love of his life against him.
The smile Satoru had when he thought it was Suguru makes me believe that the only thing he wanted was to see him again.
Then, when he realized it wasn’t him, Kenjaku said “how sad, you don’t recognize me?”
As if to say Suguru would be devasted that Satoru didn’t recognize him. Kenjaku knows how Suguru feels about Satoru.
Then Satoru calls him on his bs and he says “creepy, how did you know?”
Creepy?
The only other time Kenjaku is creeped out is waaaaaaay later in the manga (spoilers ahead) when Satoru sets the fight day to Dec 24th Kenjaku acknowledges that it’s romantic, and that “having a date with him on the 24th gives him the creeps”.
Oh, I know he’s grossed out with how much they love each other. Like. How the hell else do you interpret that???? Come. On.
Add in when Suguru somehow comes back from the dead for a moment and tries to choke his own body to save Satoru. Kenjaku is baffled—that’s never happened before. That is a demonstration of love everlasting, absolutely.
Then you have Shoko’s “I’d never fall in love with either of you, but you were still never alone” to SatoSugu, basically confirming that she knew the two of them shared a romantic bond that she couldn’t replicate the depth of.
So. Yes. They were very very much in love with each other and to this day Satoru loves Suguru with every fiber of his being and lives his life dedicated to atoning for his (self-perceived) failures to Suguru. He thinks about him everyday. He says he was his only friend. He has Shoko, Ijichi, Mei Mei, and Utahime and yet he only sees Suguru. He only sees Suguru.
No bc Satoru has this whole hallucination-dream-limbo sequence where he’s talking to Suguru about how he wanted to give Sukuna his all to get through to him and show him how he understood his loneliness only to have Suguru go “…you’re making me jealous.”
As an author, what Gege did here is genius because that is such a loaded statement to make in response to Satoru processing his fight with Sukuna. It can mean so many different things and we, the audience, are free to interpret exactly how Suguru meant it.
On one hand, you can say he said he was jealous because he wanted to be the one Satoru fought with all his might. He wanted to be as strong as Satoru, to match him in prowess, and hearing that Sukuna was the one to do it instead made him jealous.
On the other hand, you can say that he said he was jealous because Satoru recognized that Sukuna was lonely and wanted to get through to him, something that he was too late to recognize in Suguru when he was descending into madness, and that in turn made Suguru jealous because it was as if Satoru was saying “I recognized the loneliness in him and wanted to do something about it” when he failed to do that same thing with Suguru.
I personally interpret it the second way more (the first one is very valid, but I just see things the second way), because of the next lines.
He made Suguru cry. While laughing. Once again, holy shit is that such a loaded scene. What did Suguru’s tears mean? We have never seen him cry before. Not when Riko died, not at any point when he was losing his mind, not even when he died by Satoru’s hand. So why, when Satoru said he wished Suguru was there to wish him luck before he fought, did he finally get brought to such strong emotion that he cried?
Was it because he was happy to hear that Satoru still thought of him, even in his final moments?
Was it because after all these years, Satoru never thought ill of him and pictured him there beside him, and he was relieved?
Was it because he regretted making the choices he did that led to him not being there by Satoru’s side?
Or, in a very indirect way, was it an admission of love from Satoru that made Suguru happy?
I wonder that, because of these panels from Chapter 238:
Kashimo asked Sukuna, “if you’re so satisfied being alone, why did you refuse to die and turn yourself into cursed fingers?”
Sukuna’s response is, “Love is worthless. I’ve never needed anyone to satisfy me.”
Which is a directly opposing statement to the one that Satoru had just made to Suguru.
Sukuna: I only have to worry about myself and I get to do as I please. I am satisfied by myself. I don’t need love.
Satoru: I worried about everyone else my entire life and I was controlled by the society. I was not satisfied, but I would have been if you had been there with me, Suguru.
That. Is. Powerful. Those panels imply that love is what made Satoru weak. He did not feel complete because he didn’t have Suguru. He had all of the power in the world, he had status, he had students that depended on him, other friends even, and he still was not satisfied because Suguru wasn’t there.
Sukuna on the other hand recognized how detrimental love was because of what it did to people, how it made them weak, and he decided he didn’t need it.
Those panels were such an indirect-direct conversation between Satoru and Suguru.
Essentially, they were saying:
Suguru: You fought with all of your might and I wish that you recognized my loneliness so that I could have been there with you
Satoru: I was at the peak of my power and I had the weight of the world on my shoulders, and I was allowed to go all-out to fight yet I just wanted you to be there with me
It’s just. Ugh. They’re saying they want each other in the most infuriatingly roundabout way.
Do you have a list of favorite zosan fics? Sorry if someone's asked this before x.x
Hooo boy, this is going to be challenging because there's simply a lot of fics that I like and it's kind of all over the place depending on my mood, but I'm going to make a general list of some of my favorites and a short summary of why I like them.
This is going to be a little long so I'm going to put them under read more!
Sketches of Life (and Love) by Fledgling — An exploration of a headcanon where Sanji likes to draw in his free time. This fic always leaves me with a warm feeling every time I read it because how endearingly sweet it is. It's basically a domestic fluff story about both ZoSan and the Strawhats crew in general.
green with envy blues by adietxt — A cute fic about Zoro being jealous. Jealous!Zoro has been one of those tropes that make me screech like a feral animal every time I come across it and this fic does exactly that. It's pretty short and simple but it captures the characters very well. It's set during pre-timeskip which makes it even better to me because pre-TS Zoro possesses that boyish quality that post-TS Zoro doesn’t necessarily have anymore.
Old Men Blues by postmoderne — Quoting directly from the fic's summary, “Sanji and Zoro: two ancient fucks (in love).” because this is exactly that, a story about old men ZoSan. Old Zoro and old Sanji are both still as stubborn as ever and it's endearing.
Meet me under the orange tree by candelina — A canon divergence AU where Zoro and Sanji met as kids, as Zeff opened up Baratie in Zoro's hometown. It's an adorable and heartwarming story of little Zoro and little Sanji's friendship. There's also a part two which is also worth reading.
Other fics from candelina: The whole world will know, another fic about old men ZoSan, this one involves Zoro deliberately showing himself to the Marines for god knows what. It's sweet, it's beautiful, and it shows that Zoro is as reckless and idiotic as he is a loving, devoted husband.
Zoro's Boyfriend, Who Lives In Canada by donutsandcoffee — Modern AU, where Zoro's friends try to stop him from believing that his imaginary, totally made-up boyfriend actually exists. Of course Zoro's boyfriend doesn't actually exist, because with the way Zoro describes him he's way too perfect to exist and how can anyone so perfect actually exist? A hilarious story of misunderstandings.
Other fics from donutsandcoffee: My other favorite stories would be Prison Blues and it’s a long way forward, which serve as both a ZoSan story and a great Sanji character study.
The Three of Swords by 8ball — A medieval AU with knight Zoro and prince Sanji, a concept that starts to really grow on me after I begin to read this fic. In this story, Zoro is a cursed knight appointed to serve Sanji, a deeply kind-hearted prince whom Zoro eventually pines over. It's a beautiful take of prince and knight AU; devoted knight Zoro is something that I didn't know I need. It also has a sequel.
Steady, As She Goes by auspizien — I've always loved auspizien's fics and this is the one fic that made me fall in love with their writing. This is a modern AU story where Zoro is an ex-agent with PTSD who meets and befriends Sanji, a paramedic. It's a multi-chapter fic filled with humor, angst, pining, action, and good ol’ slow-burn.
The Tribulations of Tempation by SweetyGreeny — Zoro accidentally sees Ace and Sanji doing... the do, and then spends days after that feeling shocked, confused, angry, and disappointed. A simply delicious story of pining and jealous Zoro. There's a slight AceSan in the beginning but the endgame is still ZoSan.
Other fics from SweetyGreeny: A Siren's Sinking Song, a canon-divergent AU where Sanji is a siren who one day meets a peculiar swordsman from a wandering ship; this story is beautiful and I love the idea of siren!Sanji, but please note the major character death TW. The Burden of Blondes, Sanji finds out that Zoro has a thing for blondes, and for some reason he feels uneasy. A fun story with some good smut.
(I Want) Someone to Love Me by three_days_late — Sanji is about to turn 17, so he hopes that he can get his first kiss before that. A cute high school AU that involves everyone wanting to kiss Sanji (honestly, who doesn't) but only one person gets to actually do it.
Other fics from three_days_late: Blood Red - this might be a little biased because this fic is inspired by my comic, but that's also a perfectly good reason why I must add it here; this fic is able to capture the spirit of the comic perfectly. If you want to read a short exposition of Zoro showing his protective side, then this fic is worth the read. The Christmas Swap, a modern AU in which Sanji and Reiju switch partners during Christmas so they can attend their family gathering without having to come out as queer. It’s a wonderful story about family, relationships, and what it feels like to be closeted. The Only Way Out (Is Through), a beautiful Prince Sanji and Knight Zoro story, where circumstances forced them to be unable to be together - and it also has a side Nami/Vivi.
Curly Angel by APTX (translated to English by NMTD) — In this alternative canon universe, everyone has a guardian angel, and Zoro's just happened to be Sanji. Hilarity ensues. I have to admit that I absolutely love all of APTX's ZoSan fics, but since most of them are in Chinese, if you're like me and doesn't mind reading some really botchy translations of said fics, then you can try using Google Translate to read them.
Let me be your Inspiration by TheWanderers — College AU where Sanji is an artist/painter - another fic that explores Sanji as someone with an artistic streak, but also so much more. It's a beautiful story that starts out with Zoro having to model for Sanji's painting but ends up falling in love with him. I love the way the author adapts the characters' canon backstory into this universe.
Thy Fearful Symmetry by Harubo — A modern AU where Sanji is a tourist visiting a tiger reserve during a family vacation and Zoro is a detective investigating a poaching ring. All of Harubo's fics are godsend but I particularly love this one because the setting reads like a perfect rom-com drama movie about a stressed, overworked chef meeting a handsome detective. There's also a nice tidbit where the Vinsmoke siblings are trying to get along with each other.
Retrogade by Hazel_Athena — Sanji got badly injured after a fight, and ends up losing a big chunk of memories - he doesn't find it too bothersome until he notices how weird Zoro starts to act around him. It's a really good temporary amnesia fic with some really delicious pining!Zoro material.
Done Dirt Cheap by Balderdashfromafool — Basically a Western ZoSan AU, where Zoro is an outlaw and Sanji is a small town chef. This one is fun and lovely, and as someone who doesn’t read a lot of Western-themed stories, I love the way the author describes the Western setting in this fic.
Each A Love Song by Shadowcatxxx — Sanji is frustrated because Zoro's surprisingly popular with women when he doesn't even like them back. A story of a confused Sanji trying to find love and being the World’s Most Oblivious Man.
And that's all for now! It got way longer than I initially thought....there are some fics that I exclude, mostly the more explicit, PWP-type of fics, as well as Omegaverse fics, because my taste on them tend to be more specific and self-indulgent as ever. I might need to make a separate post for that, and also like feel free to ask me about them anytime.
I really hope I've done these fics justice with my summaries. I can't overstate how talented these authors are, so please shower them with love, kudos, comments, attention, etc etc if you have time.
Do you have any good naruto fic recs? I recently got into it and I’m dying to read something good!
OOh ok
arwa @takasupremacist is so good at sns heres her ao3
something to remember me by: evil fic. it is AMAZING but seriously devastating (check the note on the fic) but so good but it broke my fucking heart. sns
have your cake: sns college au where sasuke is frat bro narutos gay awakening and it makes me laugh like an idiot
from ashes and dust: sns fix it very very sweet god i wish it were canon
kinomiakai writes sooooo much good sns u gotta read
nawreen @soughtflower Walmart Sns Indulgence
do you wrong, do me right: (only 2 chps so far) sasusaku divorce fic of COURSE i stan. sns and inosaku
im sorry if you wanted something that wasnt sns because thats all i got bro
For some faves that don’t get enough love. (aka my faves with less than 1000 kudos bc I keep seeing rec lists with only the big fandom faves)
You, Me, Coffee, and Tea - T, fluff, angst, secret identities
A Dozen Roses for Your Heart (for I hope it is mine) - T, wooing, which is all I should have to say
Only a Matter of Time - E, captured by an alien zoo who think they’re a mated pair
reach out - T, fluff and angst, Tony and Stephen fall in love before the accident
Contentment - T, little hurt, big comfort, Tony falling asleep with his head in Stephen’s lap
Do you read fanfics??? If so, what ironstrange fics do you love???
oh boy. i’ll divide this by author.
surveycorpsjean ( @zanimez )
Get a Grip (Explicit) - the real endgame that we deserve. the fic i would suggest you read if you just got into ironstrange.
No Need (Explicit) - read the summary. it’s good shit
i babysat god and he stabbed me with a fork (Mature) - ironstrange from loki’s perspective
babywarg ( @babywarg )
Our Time Together - the fic that got me into drpepperony (warning: incredibly sad)
A Warm Place - short superfamily no powers + dog au that made me.. so happy
No Longer Human - im a sucker for AUs that address how characters are detached from their humaneness
twobettafish
If You Want Blood (You’ve Got It) (Explicit) - I CANNOT PRAISE THIS VAMPIRE AU ENOUGH.
What We Owe To Each Other by Emeralwoman - i put this here because it’s the sequel to If You Want Blood. AND IT’S VERY GOOD TOO. insanely good.
A Bend in the Universe - unfinished and far from resolved but extremely interesting take on alternative ways to defeat thanos
Ten times outta nine, I’m a hand grenade (Mature) - also unfinished and far from it, but goddamn, I’m in the middle of reading it right now and just. holy shit is it GOOD. stephen and tony travel back and forth between the present and 2007 and it gets…. Wild
Imagined:
When It Comes To You - the best college fake dating AU i’ve read in a long time. god
Citizen Erased - a 40+ chapter masterpiece slow burn where no one can seem to remember tony exists. i came for the intriguing premise and stayed for the wonderfully executed plot.
Other Works:
Camera Shy (Explicit) by doobler - this is an abandoned fic but it’s still so good. stephen does camshows as a hobby and tony is his biggest fan
i am here by polyommatusblues - time traveler’s wife AU where stephen is stuck hopping across tony’s past, super good
wine and dine by spidermooned - perhaps the subtlest and softest ironstrange fic i’ve ever read. itt makes me feel light
The Devil You Know by old_blue (Explicit) - stephen gets consensually possessed by a demon and tony finds it interestingly hot (as do i)
132 by 28ghosts it’s good. it’s good, fucking soulmate mark au
Those Damn Wedding Bells by ironstrangepls - your classic fake dating wedding invite au. excellence.
the ones in red are fics i think abt in my sleep
im also drawing for a fic for this coming ironstrange big bang and i can already tell is gonna be a huge fav. so stay tuned for that ahhah.. i haven’t actually dived that deep into the ironstrange archive so im sure ive missed a lot of gems.
