Eva’s fondest memory was of the sea.
– -She glided on butterfly wings, fresh eyes watching the gentle lap of the water as it waved at her from over the rocks. One step after another, she could reach her hands out and pick, pick, pick close enough to touch the water. But just as she would get close enough to hold the crystalline blue in her hands– -the world would circle and the wind would toss her hair and play its chiming song to her ears, as she was spun in giddy circles and brought back down to the earth that kept her safe and steady.
( If it wasn’t the ground holding her steady, then it was the arms of a mother and father keeping her anchored–safe. )
“ 돌다리도 두들겨 보고 건너라 ” Her mother’s voice was softer than the breeze, the smile on her face a petal of mauve lips as she tapped her nose and pulled the light chime of a laugh from the child. “We look before we leap, Euna.” The words carried on the sing-song of the melodies the wind sang to her, but it was her mother saying the words–and they shone bright in a young Eva’s mind. Bright and warm like the sun keeping shining on them even on the cold bay side of a cloudy San Francisco day.
“모든 당신을 위해 ” And Eva believed those words–she did. Warm brown eyes turned to meet the reach of the endless that was so thrilling to the heart of a child, she remembered what it felt like to be held in a mother’s arms with her hair smoothed back and the promise in her words warm and bright.
“The sea is all for you, my Euna.”
( Eva couldn’t remember the last time she felt the lap of waves on her toes or the sight of the ocean waving its hellos & goodbyes to her. Then again, some days she couldn’t remember the way her mother’s hand had felt on when smoothing back her hair, or the way her name sounded on her father’s tongue. It balanced out, she supposed. )– -
But this was not the ocean. The air did not taste of salt water crystallized on lips. It tasted like sunlight dried and curled until it was bitter, acrid and unyielding. The wind did not sing symphonies in her ear. It whipped in low howls that sounded like accusations and condemnations, gouging skin & flesh. The sun did not shine to keep her warm. The sun shone to rage its own war against those who had thought themselves bigger than it–
–for those who had looked to the stars and thought themselves conquerors.
She had been stupid to come out here to meet the dealer alone–it was a fool’s gamble, one she was smarter than to risk. And she had done it anyway. Eva didn’t think herself one of those imbued with the enticement of self-destruction, but she had thrown her caution to the raging wind and done it nevertheless. ( They all had their indulgences. )
Eva could not tell if the sound of warring rubber on sand was another cull of her mind as it sang venomous lullabies under the guise of the fading sunbeams. She hoped it to be, even as she turned to assess the ( very palpable ) tangibility of it.
That was a voice she had not heard in what seemed a turn of a century. ( What was time to the forgotten, anyway. )
The sun was setting, though she still had to shield her eyes to bring her gaze up in confirming assessment. That was her, alright–Leona. The traitor; the scorned. ( Neither too uncommon a title now, though the cut of her sins still bled fresh in the mind of many Rebels. Eva would not deny herself as one, even if bloodthirsty had never been her coat of armor. )
If she would have been in better stride, perhaps she would have denied the help out of pride or some form of respect to the kinship they had once shared. They had not been friends in the whole measure–there was no time for kinship in war, it seemed–but they had been sisters-in-arms. Or so she they had thought. All the better for the small talk to be entertained on the journey home, then.
Instincts for preservation stronger than the weight of the sour taste in her mouth, Eva hauled herself up by the handle of the monster of a truck that served as her steed. Pulling herself in and shutting the door with the creaking sigh of a beast at reluctant rest, she paused only to pull the scarf that covered the exposed of her mouth and neck, and place the heavy of her duffel in front of her. She swiped at the dry crack of her skin to rid herself of the sand, still tasting the burn of it on her tongue nevertheless–that never went away. Her voice, as it bloomed between them, was a steeled armor shining ice cold to touch.
“The bastards in suits didn’t pay you enough to keep you out of the wastes, huh. Guess those Rebel lives are trading for cheaper than I remember.”
Eva looked rough. Well, they all looked rough, but with Eva it was something different. Before, she had been akin to a force of nature, but now she was as human as the rest of them. Leona figured the saying wasn’t true, that sometimes the good lived along with the rest of the world. It was a pity in so many ways. Leona bit back a complaint at the sand that was piling up on the floor of her cabin and wordlessly handed Eva her canteen. She looked like she needed it.
She grinned at Eva’s accusations and shook her head before kicking Rooney back into gear. “Who says I don’t want to be here?” Leona had given up the fantasy of being able to explain herself, how she wasn’t willing to waste what love she had on the hordes of dirty and impoverished, how Kate was the only person who mattered. Even if she got that far it would only serve to tarnish her beloved’s reputation. Better to be an unthinking apostate, as there weren’t words for what she was. Her loyalty was limited, but ran deep.
“Besides, life is worthless. Death is what costs.” Leona readjusted her mirrors and sighed heavily. She wanted to ask Eva about their old comrades, who was alive, who was left, and who had managed to find their peace in the great beyond, but Leona had given up her rights to that sort of talk.
“So, where are we going?”
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