Absent @blue-eyed-satan - Tumblr Blog

cloudmancy

You see it, don’t you?

You’ve become a monster too.

what if that one iconic backstory scene in goncharov (1973) after he makes his first kill but as a movie poster

brothfan1997

rudescience

We can't be friends if you went to an ivy league University.

campyvillain

kiwi birds are gonna be the next tumblr fav animal like capybara and frogs i’m calling it. this fucker can be round and then not round any time he wants. he’s rigging the meta game

the-gentle-art-to-going-insane

THESE FUCKERS… Will literally steal your sandwiches, I’m told.

campyvillain

no offense but if you let your meatball sub get stolen by one of these rounded beasts that’s ur own fault and also it deserves it more than you do

sixth-light

Kiwi (all species) don’t steal your sandwiches and they don’t want to. They are nocturnal and like to eat delicious, delicious insects hiding in leaf-litter (or other small animals). That’s what that long beak is for. Unless you are packing worm sandwiches for your tramp you are of no interest to them, and frankly you’re never going to see them unless you go looking in some very specific places and stay up late.

WEKA steal your sandwiches. Weka steal your biscuits. Weka steal your spoons. Weka will steal anything that’s not in your hand and run away laughing to themselves.

[picture from Wikipedia]

oodlenoodleroodle

I feel like I’m having a stroke, are kiwi birds not extinct? X____x I coulda sworn they’re extinct. What the fuck. What the fuck.

4waystreet

my “hyperfixation” is murder and i’ll be “infodumping” your body in the lake

starlyt

my hobbies? Uhhhhh symbolism mostly. metaphors and implications and the like.

myarmsaretoolong

theunlitpath

Guy who claims male ejaculation is a myth. "It's just pee" he says.

dynamite-with-a-laser-beammm

tearlessrain

Dividing up eras of tumblr

It just occurred to me that I kind of arbitrarily started referring to “first age” “second age” and “third age” tumblr one day because I realized during a discord conversation that it really can be divided up very effectively between a couple major events that changed the fabric of the site’s culture almost overnight, but nobody but me ever refers to them that way, so by way of explanation:

First Age: everything before Dashcon. Art communities were still largely thriving on the internet and social media still mostly existed out from under corporate monopolies, and people were just wildly guessing about how to use it. We were in the last hurrah of the internet wild west and lolcats were still a thing. Tumblr was just a fun and quirky place, we were blissfully writing unironic posts about tumblr university and fandom vs hipster and the “I like your shoelaces” thing, Hank Green wrote a goddamn song about tumblr, we were all like Adam and Eve dwelling in Eden unaware of their sin. Potterheads grab your wands.

Second Age: post-Dashcon, but pre-Purge. We have all eaten the fruit of knowledge and there is no going back. There are no more secret code or tumblr university posts because everyone knows firsthand how badly that would go. Fandom culture is forever changed. We are now aware that we live in a hellish cringetopia but have absolutely no plans to leave, because by now a combination of monopolies and a sneaky rise in purity culture has the internet by the throat (but not in a kinky way, that would scare off advertisers) so there aren’t a lot of better options, and at least our relatives can’t find us here. A lot of artists now have their primary presence on tumblr. The lax policies regarding nsfw and controversial content mean it’s a good space for queer creators and sex workers despite the many shortcomings we’re now aware of. The porn bot plague really kicks into full gear to the point that every time our follower counts go up we’re ready with the block/spam button like the uncles from Secondhand Lions picking off traveling salesmen. The drama starts to get really fucking weird, with classics such as the human pet guy and the bone-stealing witch.

Third Age: post-Purge. After changing corporate hands a few times, the drive to make the internet safe for our Good Christian Advertisers and hypothetical children has finally reached us, and brings with it TERFs, purity culture, and the Porn Ban, which was allegedly a solution to the porn bots except that it clearly wasn’t at all. The large community of sex workers and artists that was keeping tumblr afloat as anything resembling a viable social media site have made a mass exodus and a lot of the rest of the userbase followed them, mostly to twitter or a few doomed attempts at tumblr copycats. Tumblr is now a mad max clown car full of people too stubborn to pack up and leave for a functional website. It’s a post-apocalyptic wasteland whose only remaining merit is that even without the ability to post porn we’ve managed to make ourselves such a complete anathema to advertisers that we’re mostly just left alone. We’re all just tired. Some people still run art blogs but nobody outside of tumblr ever sees them. Literally all we have going for us is that we’re not twitter and we have +5 resistance to capitalism. And Xkit.

pineaberry

Tag yourself. At which era did you enter this hellsite?

Second age

Third Age

Amazing

concept: new tumblr glitch that takes you back to the bottom of your dash. the beginning of it all

funnytwittertweets

invaderxan

Tumblr burned down years ago, and now a tranquil meadow has grown from its ruins

rontieremodeled-deactivated2023

*me flirting*

so… have you… learned anything interesting lately?

podcastwizard

i don't want to see one hot take about the new star wars content. not ONE. i don't CARE about your unique and controversial opinion. only ICE COLD takes from here on out. for example, some parts of the star wars movies take place on ships, while other parts take place on planets.

carolxdanvers

Ahsoka stripey

rhythmic-idealist

The writing in the original trilogy was honestly completed so much earlier than the writing in the other ones

fubarbarotch

Lightsabers are of different colours.

podcastwizard

excellent work everyone

oodlenoodleroodle

elon musk is really ruining space stuff for me :/ like i cant stand the jackass and now mars stuff is associated with him so other mars stuff makes me go ugh :/

periodic reminder that elon musk did not come up with the idea of tesla, he bought the company from the actual innovators who did, and included in that purchase was the title "founder of tesla." he has not founded anything, he's just a rich jerk with dirty money that he uses to buy clout.