I guess... Hi?

welcome to my diary.

[blueblossom5]

Being cheated on is really painful. What a sweet sweet betrayal.

[iglovequotes]

https://iglovequotes.net/

[blueblossom5]

But what if I'm not ready to let you go?

[blueblossom5]

I want you to be happy but it hurts to see that you're happier with someone else.

[blueblossom5]

"Maybe he's not supposed to be mine."

[blueblossom5]

The moral of the story :

Don't hold on to someone, it hurts when it doesn't meet your expectations.

[blueblossom5]

When you feel alone, you're asked to make friends. But what if you don't want to? What if you just want attention from your closed ones instead?

[blueblossom5]

Don't be so hard on yourself. You are precious, just like anyone else.

[blueblossom5]

You decide what you want to be. Your life is yours. Period.

[sunsetquotes]

“How amazing it is to find someone who wants to hear about all the things that go on in your head.”

— Nina LaCour

[blueblossom5]

Do I deserve to be happy and loved?

I keep asking this question multiple times, almost everyday. There's one time I felt fulfilled and enlightened, but then my parents suddenly told me to remember that they are struggling and wanting me to go back "home" to have the empathy (that they didn't have the life I was having that time). I was confused then I decided to be happy when they are happy. So I put themselves first as my priority. I kept doing it over and over until I realized that I want to reach my own happiness too.. but everytime when I want to experience new thing, my parents always mock me because it's stupid for them (waste of money). They always say, "You haven't made us happy, or accomplished something that make us happy. So why do you want to do stuff by your own? Family comes first no matter what, and that's your happiness." I agreed and also disagreed with that statement though.. I've always wanted to follow my dreams and to create my own life timeline. But my parents always say, "You may have dreams, but it doesn't mean you can make them come true. Put your family first".

Been suffering from a depression and I don't have any idea how to change their perspective... To allow me to be free without any of their supervision. I just want to create my own life, that's all.

[blueblossom5]

I'm tired when my parents always keep bringing up my mistakes from the past. And they can't put trust on me anymore because of my "past". That sucks, because I will never have freedom for myself at all.

One day I tried to talk with my parents about the issues I'm dealing with but instead of being supportive, they frankly told me that they couldn't accept failures. My failures.

"sigh"

[iglovequotes]

http://iglovequotes.net/

[blueblossom5]

Can relate

[sunsetquotes]

“I don’t want just words. If that’s all you have for me, you’d better go.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

[blueblossom5]

Precisely.

[blueblossom5]

I'm tired of chasing. Let me catch my breath for a sec.

[blueblossom5]

January 26th 2020,

Living in uncertain situation and confusion, what shall I do? The truth must be hidden somewhere.

[blueblossom5]

I can do better tomorrow.

[blueblossom5]

When you are in attempt of progressing, don't ever look back. Honestly, people tend to love seeing you fall than grow. So, just keep moving and listen to your guts.