THIS IS ME

HAKUNA MATATA

[johnnyjoestarrelatable]

just found out today that moths can make their genitals vibrate to throw off a bat’s sonar

[venacavo]

we can too you’re just not skilled yet

[pileofknives]

Me helicoptering my dick so the cops can’t triangulate my cellphone signal

[daily-showerthoughts]

Pets in bilingual households think that the two languages their humans speak are just one language

[ernoji]

stop shaming people who drink milk you bullies

[ernoji]

our bones may be strong but our hearts are not

[idek-anymore46]

[punpkin-314-pi]

VACCINATE YOUR FUCKING KIDS

[nyxwoven]

while yes you should vaccinate your kids, you can’t vaccinate for bubonic plague. also this couple ate a raw, dead rat, which is how they got it. they then didn’t go get antibiotics, which in most modern cases of bubonic plague allows for a full recovery.

yes, PLEASE vaccinate your kids, but don’t use scare tactics to spread false information.

[incompetentantagonist]

I’m sorry I think the question that should be asked is why they are a raw dead rat

[agustdsslut]

I made a gif of Jenna Marbles’s eldest Cermet almost slipping into the pool during swimming lessons

[nessa007]

[winnie-the-patton]

Let me tell you why Jenna Marbles is an inspiration.

This isn’t a joke.

Jenna Marbles was one of the original big channel Youtubers. I remember being in middle school and quoting her constantly, and never having to explain the reference. Everyone knew who Jenna was.

Then, time passed as it does. And like most youtubers, her following shrunk overtime. People outgrew her or lost interest. I myself stopped watching her for years, except for the occasion “I wonder what Jenna’s doing” search.

But what did she decide to do? Was she gonna pander to her audience, or do challenge videos to keep her views up?

No.

She decided to do whatever she freaking wanted.

She literally follows whatever crazy, impulsive thoughts she has and doesn’t really care what we think.

One week she thought, “I wonder how many balloons it would take to float Marbles up in the air?” And she found out.

“I should cover my entire face with rhinestones” Yes please.

“I want to blend into my green screen” YES. ABSOLUTELY.

She does what she wants, and its entertaining as hell. I love being subscribed to Jenna cuz I literally have no idea what’s coming this Wednesday/Thursday, but I know she’s gonna be having a great time doing it.

Jenna Marbles is an icon. She’s what I aspire to be. We should all learn from her to follow our dreams, no matter how unusual they may seem.

Bonus: Here’s some screenshots from her as a green screen

[kittycheshirestuff]

[nessa007]

legends only!!!

[bob-belcher]

what a toothbrush would do if it came alive

[showerthoughtsofficial]

Give a man a fish ,you will feed him for a day. Give a man a poisoned fish, you will feed him for a lifetime.

[americanbeauty-britishpsycho]

a collection of fall out boy lyrics i relate to on a spiritual level

- i’m no good at math

- i’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker colour

- she says she’s no good with words but i’m worse

- i’m not a crybaby, i’m the crybaby

- i’ve got a lousy arm

- i slept in last night’s clothes

- i’m a nervous wreck

- i don’t know where i’m going

[bisexualpolar]

this is my favorite line in the history of ahs

[biolegend]

Bacteria’s mood is my mood.

[thoodleoo]

some people today complain that having the internet at our fingertips has spoiled millennials but like, i’m so glad i can look shit up whenever i want to. like can you imagine what it’d be like living in ancient greece and having to rely on herodotus when he says shit like “lions can only give birth once bc their cubs claw their way out of the womb”? i’d have to be like “o damn, guess that’s true” before going back to farming and dying of malaria bc i just thought my neighbor was cursing me again and didn’t go see a doctor

[todaysbird]

a rare closeup of a black swift, found throughout north america and small parts of south america. swifts are rarely seen up close; they spend more of their life in air than any other species of bird - they eat, drink, mate and sleep while in flight. they are incapable of perching like other birds; they must cling to vertical surfaces.

(x)

[curlicuecal]

I had to look this up because “sleep while in flight” ????

but yeah, apparently completely true.  these birds stay aloft for as much as 10 months nonstop, feed on insects, spend more energy at night (when there aren’t warm thermals to ride) and at dawn and dusk climb to 10,000 ft altitude where the 30 min slow descent is probably when they catch their sleep.

they’re unusually long-lived for such active critters (20 yrs) and they may be limiting energy expenditure by being extremely aerodynamic and narrow bodied.  Also a single bird travels the distance of about 7 roundtrip journeys to the moon in its lifetime (>3 million miles).

[x]

[draggofur-blog]

So apparently I just picked up an $8,000 organ off of the curb

[sourweather]

The few seconds before I realized you meant the instrument were terrifying