This is my impression of Ishmael if he wrote a chapter on all the gay sex they were definitely having on that boat
Chapter 1003 The Sodomical Acts.
A confession must I make. Up to this point, I confess, for the sensibilities of landsmen I elided mentions of certain practices at sea that I thought may be too shocking for the reader to bear. What, what! asketh thou. What, more shocking than the processing of a whale? Than the feasts of sharks, in their hilarious congregations? Than the oaths and devilries that occur? And I say to thee: yes, yes to all. Certain practices did not bear mentioning. But the weight of the omission lies too heavy on my soul, and so to relieve myself of such a weight, I beg forgiveness, and I shall explain such practices now.
The sodomical acts can be defined, broadly, as the wasting of one’s most vital essence, that which God hath commanded us to people the earth with. I have henceforth expressed the ways in which a ship may be blasphemous, and indeed, this is yet another manner. But yet, I say, are whaling voyages not uncommonly long? Longer, much, than the work in the merchant marines, longer than the skirmishes the navy may face. And I say, are whalemen (of all men) not the most conscious and heedful of sperm, and the value therein? And are not whaleships oft populated by men of pagan lands, unfamiliar with such Christian concerns? When a whaleman engages in the sodomical acts, he is aware of what he is offending, and what he gains by it, and the Christian whaleman is aware of what his spends, and how, despite such a wasting, God knows him in his heart of hearts, and recognizes the worship of the soul within. Therefore you must agree that the whaleman has taken all these into consideration, and, knowing himself, considers the actions worth doing, knowing God may forgive him all his sins in the light of his love and truth, as his son who died for us and to save our souls looked upon every sin that we may commit and washed us clean of all of them with his blood.
Having said this much, I shall argue no more for or against sodomical acts, and instead attempt to set forth a system of organization. I divide these acts into three types:
First. The wasting of vital essence on animals. This is the least occurring, and in fact in my time I have known not one person to have done such a thing. Whalemen are still men, despite what the world at large may think of our breed, and we are a proud class of men indeed. We do not fall to the bestial. On this first type, I shall say no more.
Second. The wasting of vital essence on nothing at all. This is the most common type of sodomy you will find on a whaling voyage, and if you examine indeed landsmen as well, you will find it is the most common among them. It is common enough, indeed, to have its own particular word: that of Onanism, after the first man to waste his seed upon the ground. More discussion of this is to be had, and I will explain it in greater depth in its respective section.
Third. The spending of seed with other men. This occurs of average frequency, and also requires further subdivision, as it may occur in various ways, and will be spoken of in more detail to come.
Ishmael looooooves to piss me the fuck off (“St George actually was a whaler” and other such) but I fear no one has ever got me quite like he has (“Why is almost every robust healthy boy with a robust healthy soul in him, at some time or other crazy to go to sea? Why […] did you yourself feel such a mystical vibration, when first told that you and your ship were now out of sight of land? Why did the old Persians hold the sea holy?”)
The thing about the completely false whale facts that Ishmael likes to give is that he’s not STUPID. Like haha he thinks a whale is a fish he doesn’t know science—but he does know science is the thing. He knows who Linnaeus is and can cite his exact reasoning for why a whale is not a fish. He just thinks Linnaeus is wrong. Ishmael’s Whale Facts may tell you very little about whales but they tell you a lot about Ishmael: stubborn, educated, confident, experienced. He’s a very cultured and educated man, but in addition, he knows the work he is doing and trusts his experience more than others’ classification of it
Everyone who reads Moby Dick instantly turns into a fanatic about it and its making me realise that you all would all go buck wild at the opportunity to go whaling to help some old man fight God. You would all cheer for the dabloon that would mark your final throes.
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