Bad choices make good stories

DON'T PANIC!  420. Aventurero, actor, escritor, procrastinador, 22 y Boricua puñeta!  Eso Pasa.

[dankmemeuniversity]

[epic-games-official]

3) where you work

4) where you live

5) government buildings like the DMV or courts

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[brokendildo]

that’s her car now

that’s her house now too

[newnamelater]

Welcome to Cougar Town

[thestoicgod]

Listen…

[augustdementhe]

And you thought you were blessed when a house cat chooses you to sit on!

[teenagerposts]

this is the best one

[sodapoplio]

[kai-wildfang]

Can someone from the Pokemon fandom explain this, I don’t understand nurse Joy’s reaction.

[coolsville-ghetto]

Ho-oh is basically a minor deity, so nurse joy pretty much just heard this ten year old say “i threw a rat at a god.”

[camiluna27]

i threw a rat at a god

[logo-comics]

The best part? Pikachu is awake. Pokemon faint upon being defeated.

What Nurse Joy heard was more along the lines of “I threw a mouse at a god and the mouse won.”

[teacupfulofstarshine]

what is a king to a god

what is a god to a ten year old with an electric mouse

[gamecubist]

a masterpost

[zagreus]

you can only reblog this every day of the week

[falseknees]

Lucky bird

[hydro-homies]

Corrupt doggo bribed by bear

[regularlesbian]

a bear has learned my furry son can be bought

[gahdamnpunk]

If there’s a minimum wage, why isn’t there a maximum wage?

[catchymemes]

[musingsmaybemumbles]

This is better than any action movie ive ever seen

[whitepeopletwitter]

[captainsnoop-deactivated2020041]

donate to my kickstarter so i can build a time machine and

get julius caesar addicted to hentai

seduce cleopatra

“oh but how will you seduce cleopatra?” you might ask because you’re a moron. it’s simple: i’m 6′2″ and i’m fat. fatness was considered attractive back then because if you were fat, that meant you were wealthy enough to get fat. plus, 6′2″ is unreasonably gigantically tall in the BC times. 

so cleopatra will be like “a giant? AND he’s got stretch marks?” and she’ll instantly become infatuated with my rotund, hairy body 

then i will live in royalty for the rest of my days. kickstarter backers will have their names written in my tomb, baffling archaeologists for centuries to come. 

[theirisianprincess]

My favorite part of this is that OP didn’t feel the need to explain how he’d get Julius Caesar addicted to hentai.

[meatpulp]

*opens the groupchat at breakfast to backread like its the morning paper*

[kitsnicket]

This show was the funniest fucking thing

[beyonsesa]

Is she eating a carrot with whipped cream?

[r--g--b]

me, age 14: I want anatagonists that are morally gray, who don’t realize they’re bad. They should be conflicted and have meaningful backstories.

me now: i want a villain that has “evil” listed every day on their calendars except sundays when they have mimosas with the protagonist

[neoptelemus-moved-deactivated20]

im both

[valtsv]

if a fictional character gets stabbed, they have only 2 valid options:

1. slowly raise their hand to the wound and/or pull the weapon impaling them out while everyone stares in horror before collapsing to the ground from shock and/or blood loss and being caught just in time by their friend/sibling/love interest

2. hide the wound beneath a dark item of clothing in preparation for the dramatic reveal later where another character touches them and their hand comes away bloody or they overexert themselves and they stumble and wince but still try to insist they’re fine, even though they’re clearly in pain and struggling to stay on their feet, and as the other character peels back their jacket it becomes clear that they’re badly hurt and have been for a while (bonus points if they’re wearing a white shirt underneath)

[valtsv]

i stand corrected they have 3 valid options

[tchaikovskaya]

i Know antipasto means appetizer but i still like to believe that it refers to pasta’s archnemesis

[theartofanimation]

Wenn Liu          -          https://www.flickr.com/photos/garfield-yue/albums