will byers coming out rewritten. before you read, please see the disclaimer!!:
a) this is just for fun. okay? i am not at all in the slightest insinuating that i could have done a better job at writing this scene that the duffer brothers, that would be disgusting and extremely arrogant. this is just how i would have liked to see it, and i thought i would share it FOR FUN
b) yes i am a byler, but i have attempted to make this open ended
c) even less than i criticise the duffers do i criticise the actors. all of them, ALL OF THEM did an amazing job with what they were given, and I aspire to be like all of them one day.
d) most of this coming out speech is NOT MY OWN WORK!! i have twisted what the duffers used and changed bits of it to reflect what i, as a non-straight person, think a coming out would look like with this group in the 80s. obviously i have no experience with this and it's probably bad, please don't whine about it this is JUST FOR FUN
e) i looooove stranger things and have full faith in the finale, byler or not!! please go watch and give noah schnapp everything he deserves (i love that man like he loves zendaya lmaoooo
warnings: will kind of has a panic attack, feelings of low self worth, upside down shit, will has ptsd symptoms (i think???), vecna = eros (please get this pjo fans), badly proofread, mike is oblivious, happy ending yayy
Will is sat on the couch next to Joyce. Elbows on his knees and hands clasped together, he talks around the slowly forming lump in his throat.
"That's how I took control in the MAC-Z, and how I killed those Demos. And I thought the same would work on Vecna too. But he found a way past." Images of the Upside Down flash through his mind, and he swallows. Will looks into his mother's eyes, whos brow is creased with concern. Often, he is annoyed or even angry at this concern in his mother, but this is one of the few times where he thinks it's appropriate. "And he showed me things, Mom." tears are in his eyes now. "He showed me the most awful things." Hate. Rejection. Pity. Joyce clasps both his hands in hers.
"No, listen. Whatever he showed you, it's not real. He plays tricks. He lies." Will shakes his head.
"No, he doesn't." He knows what his mum is thinking. She thinks Vecna showed him what he showed the others; his family, dead. His friends, dead. The world ending, Vecna coming for him, perhaps embodied by someone from his past - Bob, like Nancy's Barb? Lonnie, like Max's Billy? He shakes his head again. "What he showed me... it didn't come from him. It came from me." That was the worst part. Vecna didn't even have to make something up; there was enough horror in his own life to terrify him. Maybe that made him brave. Or maybe, as he believes, a coward. "He sees everything, Mom." Will begins listing things, flicking through the memories of what he saw. "He sees my thoughts." He's not like me. He has a girlfriend. He would never be like me.
"He sees my memories." 'What do you think you're doing, you little queer?' snarls his drunk father when he catches him sneaking to Jonathan's room to look at the posters; Joe Strummer caught Will's eye last week. Lonnie throws a bottle at the wall and clips Will's cheek. Jonathan isn't home. Joyce isn't home. Just him, his father, and 'queer'.
"And he sees my secrets." The painting, not from El but from him. Why he's never flirted back, or returned a more-than-friendly smile. The crushes he's harboured all his life; Joe Strummer, Venkam, him. Lying awake at night, allowing himself to wonder about him. About Mike.
Will blinks back tears, now taking pained, heaving breaths. Why is this so hard? Robin had told Steve, for fuck's sake. Why couldn't he spit it out? He keeps going. "But Max, she told me he's also afraid, which proves I can beat him. But for me to do that, you need to know..." he looks at his mother. His mum. Joyce Byers, the woman who has cared for him all his life. The one who always gasped at his drawings, even when he knew the were dogshit. The one who supported him relentlessly, refusing to give up on him. The one who believed fairylights over the fucking police for him. He swallows. "I think you need to know the truth."
Suddenly, there's a bang behind them. He looks back to see Mike walk in, apparently on a mission. At any other time, Will would've laughed; the timing was always impeccable with this one. Mike, realising he interrupted something, stops and stares. "Oh. Uh..." He takes a step forward. "Sorry. We just heard from Hop. He's fifteen minutes out. So we should probably leave in five. Is everything okay?" The concern in his voice makes Will's heart melt- but, no. What Mik- Vecna told him, 'he would never love someone like you'... Mike is just a crush. His Tammy. Time to move on. But...
"Yeah, we'll be out in a minute." Joyce speaks from beside him, and Will turns to look at her. Then he realises: telling her won't be enough. Mike's footsteps drift away, and he's gripped by resolve. Now or never - literally, most likely.
"Wait." Mike turns and looks at him with those puppy dog eyes that had been so easy to fall for. "I think you need to hear this too. Everyone does."
Will looks down at his feet, fiddling with his sleeves. Why has this turned into such a big thing? He hadn't meant to build up all this suspense. All he wants to do is defeat Vecna and be done with all this shit. At least Mike hadn't gathered everyone - with all his emotional unintelligence, he had managed to understand this was private. Will looks around at the people sitting around him.
To his left, there is Joyce. She was never going to leave his side. Then, on the couch next to him there is Mike, Lucas and Dustin - looking at Lucas, Will has a feeling that he knows what's about to happen. Will smiles shakily and Lucas all but smirks. The bastard. Directly in front of him, forming a little circle, there is Robin, Max and Jonathan. Will plans to look straight at Robin for the majority of his speech - why does it have to be a speech? She also knows, he can already see proud tears in her eyes.
And then there is El. Will feels sick looking at her, thinking about what he's going to say - he feels sick at himself, at the fact that his heart has gone after his sister's love. She looks at him with such focus, such concern that he wants to cry. He feels like a traitor. It's almost enough to make him call the whole thing off, but that would be even more selfish - this is to defeat Vecna. This is for everyone. He lets out a shaky breath.
"I... I haven't told any of you this... because... because I... I don't want you to see me any differently." Oh, gosh. He can already tell this will keep him up at night. "But the truth is... the truth is I am- I am different." He looks at Jonathan whos brow is creased in a way that tells him he knows. "I just... just pretended like I wasn't because... because I didn't want to be." He looks at his hands, where he is holding a crinkled up piece of paper. In truth, he had been wanting to say this long ago, before he became friends with Robin. This speech had come to him late at night, when he was apologetic for how he felt. Now it feels all wrong, but he doesn't know what else to say. He pushes through. "I wanted to be like everyone else, I wanted to be like my friends and..." he pauses. The next bit says 'I am like you.' But he's not. He is so different.
But that's not a bad thing.
"I'm not." He looks at Robin, who smiles encouragingly. "And I-I really didn't want to make this a big thing, because it's not... it's not like I'm an alien, or a wizard or anything." he looks at Mike who grins, giving Will a burst of confidence. "I mean, we're all so similar... we all like playing D&D late into the night," Mike's eyes twinkle. Will looks at Lucas next, whos smirk has faded at the sight of his friend in distress but still holds a tinge of that same humour to it. "And we like that old person smell in Mike's basement."
"Wait, what?" Mike says impulsively, earning him a what on the arm from Dustin and a laugh from the others. Will feels the tension in his chest relax. This is what it's supposed to be like.
"Yeah, sorry to tell you Mike. As I was saying," he emphasises the 'saying' earning another laugh. He goes of on another tangent of all the things they have in common, but in truth he's just stalling. He doesn't know how to say it, until he does. "But despite all that, I'm still different from all of you. I've seen Vecna, I've controlled him, and..."
"And, god, this has been so hard to say and I... I've wanted to say it for..." he lets out a breathy laugh, looking up to blink away the quickly forming tears in his eyes. "years. I guess Vecna just gave me the push to do it. He's helpful like that." Shit. Wrong thing to say. Images come back, pictures of what Vecna showed him. What if this all goes wrong? Will struggles to catch his breath for a few moments.
"Will... it's okay." Jonathan says, and when Will looks up, surprised, he finds that his friends are all so... so concerned. Will sobs.
"Jonathan is right, Will." Lucas speaks up. "No matter what you say, you won't lose us."
"He's right." El says quietly. Will sniffs.
"I guess what I want to say is..." Here it is. "I'm like all of you, but I-I just... I just, I just..." A hand on his. El. "I don't like girls." Dead silence. He looks at Robin, who nods as she cries. "I-I mean... that came out wrong, I'm not a misogynist," Weak laughter. Is that Max? "I just... I'm gay." Will looks at the ground, imagining all their faces. He can picture almost all of them - Robin's pride, Dustin's surprise, Lucas' smug but happy smile. All but one, the one he has to see. He looks up into the eyes of Mike, expecting the worst - disgust, hate, anger. All he sees, though, is a soft emotion he can't quite place. Next he looks at Jonathan, who looks just about ready to hug him, which Will is almost ready to accept. Not yet, though.
"And um... I- I thought I was okay with it, y'know? After the MAC-Z, after I killed those Demos... well, it was because of something Robin said." He looks up at her again and she laughs wetly, wiping her eyes. "And I thought I was finally okay with it, but... but then today, Vecna showed me what would happen if I did this," Jonathan is crying now. So is Max. "if I told you guys the truth. He showed me a future, and in this future some of you are just... worried for me. Worried that things will be harder for me and they will," Will sobs and looks at Joyce. "God, I know they will, but I don't want you guys to think that. And... and it just makes me feel like something's wrong with me. So, in this future, I just... push you away. And for the rest of us, we just drift apart more, and more and more until I'm alone." He cries into the silence, feeling sick. "And I know... I know none of that has happened and Vecna can't see into the future and it's- it's almost ridiculous I'm scared of this when we're about to go fight to the death, but he can see into our minds and he knows things and it just..." he's crying now. Full on sobbing, in front of all his friends, his family... in front of Mike. "It felt so real. It felt so real. And... and I'm not sorry for how I feel, I just don't want to lose you guys. Not because of this." He looks at the ground between his feet trying to calm himself.
"Will..." footsteps sound in front of him and suddenly Jonathan's arms are around Will, holding him tightly. "Will, that's never gonna happen. You're never gonna lose me, alright? Never." Will cries into his brother's shoulder, clinging onto him like he did when they were kids.
"You won't lose me either." Will looks up at Dustin. "I know what it's like to be different, and honestly? It doesn't make any difference to me. I'm still Dustin. You're still Will."
"Will the Wise." Mike says, and they all laugh. Max speaks next.
"Dustin is right, Will. We all know... we all have some idea of what it's like to be different." Everyone nods in agreement. "And it's true that some of us will have more trouble than others in the real world, but that doesn't make any difference to us, at all."
"You're still our Will. You're still one of us. One difference doesn't change that, alright?" Lucas says. "Alright?" He holds Will's gaze until he nods. Then Lucas smirks a little. "And honestly, I can't say I'm surprised."
"Lucas!" Max yells while Will, Jonathan and Robin laugh.
"What! I mean he was suuuuper interested in Venkam when we were kids." There's more laughter and Will relaxes. Everyone is being nice. No one is disgusted, or horrified - they all understand. He pulls back from Jonathan, who looks at him with shining eyes.
"I'm so proud of you." He says before kissing Will's cheek.
"I guess you didn't need a truth serum after all." Robin says, laughing. Will grins at her and is about to respond when El pipes up.
"Wait... why is liking boys bad?" Will looks at her and sees her face is scrunched up in confusion. "I like boys. Max likes boys. Robin likes boys."
"Actually-" Robin begins, but is cut off by Dustin.
"Some assholes don't like it when boys like boys." He explains. El nods, but still looks confused. There's a few moments like that, everyone just in comfortable silence, before Will speaks again.
"We should go with the others. But first..." he looks at El. "El. I know you're strong enough to defeat Vecna. But he can retreat to the physical world, and we need to be ready to fight him there too. I know we have bullets and fire, but none of that help the soldiers." He takes a breath. "I need to be there. And I'm ready. I'm ready to show him I'm not afraid anymore, that he can't scare me with... this." He looks at his mother. She would have stopped him two days ago, but now she nods in agreement.
"Alright. Let's go," she checks her watch. "Hop will be wondering where we are." With that, they all walk out. Will goes last, watching them go in their groups; Lucas, Max and Dustin, all talking together about Will as a kid (he fears Max will be teasing him about some embarrassing anecdotes if they survive this), Robin and El, to whom Robin is explaining the concept of being queer to, and Joyce and Jonathan, who are clinging onto each other and crying. As Mike begins to leave, Will does something he should have long ago.
Leaning forward, he puts a hand on Mike's shoulder. "Mike, wait." the boy turns, looking at him earnestly.
"Will, that was awesome. You just- you're so..." there's a pause as Mike decides on the right word. "Brave. That took a lot of guts, and you did great." Will smiles.
"Thanks, Mike. Listen, before we go, there's something else I didn't tell the others. I think you need to know what it is, and I'll be quick. Promise." Mike nods, and Will, takes a breath. "For- for a while now, I... I've had a crush on... on..." his voice trails off and he curses himself internally. "I- okay, look, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, okay? It's not like I want you to- to drop everything because I tell you this. I just think you need to know that..." a tear slips down his cheek. "I like you, Mike. A lot. Not in a best friend sort of way - well, yes in that way, but I also like you in... in the other way. And I've had so much trouble telling you for- for, well obvious reasons. El, for one, she's my sister and," Will laughs, not meeting Mike's eyes. "And... and you don't feel the same as me, clearly, and this is probably the worst time to do this but I need you to know, okay? I just... I couldn't stand dying without telling you." His voice breaks on 'dying' and he swallows, terrified. "I don't want anything to change between us, Mike. I still want to be friends. I just... had to tell you."
There is almost a minute of silence, and for a moment Will thinks that Mike has left, but when he looks up he sees Mike standing there. Staring. Shocked, but also...
"Is that what Vecna showed you?" He says softly. Will flinches. "I mean, you told us what he showed you, but that's not all, is it?" Will doesn't speak. "He showed you me, being... hating you. Not wanting to be your friend after this. Acting all weird around you, being nasty. Am I right?"
"...yeah." Will says quietly. After a few seconds, Mike hugs him. Hard.
"Will, that would never happen. I will always be here for you, I will always be your- your..."
"Friend?" Will whispers. Mike looks at him strangely.
"Yeah. Friend. We will always be... friends. No matter what."
Mike mock-considers him for a few seconds, pretending to think it over and making them both laugh. "Yeah, I promise. And I'm sorry for making you feel like I would hate you for something like this." There's a pause as they both remember the words they exchanged all those years ago. "I was an idiot." Will laughs.
"Yeah, you were." They both laugh again, and Will feels like he's floating on air.
Mike hugs him again. "I would never leave you." He whispers, making Will's ear tickle. As they walk outside to join the others, Will is left to think over the conversation. It went well, better than he expected, but he can't help but wonder if Mike acted a little strangely. Was it normal to act like that when a friend tells you he likes you? It's not like he has anything to compare it to. Soon, though, he banishes the thought - there's no time for that now.
if you want i can do a mike pov
