I tend to analyze things in list form, so here are some of my lists from the CDTH sampler (which I can’t seem to read in under 4 hours because of said list making). All kinds of SPOILERS below.
Reasons Ronan should leave the Barns:
Surrounded by nothing but other dreams
He wouldn’t know if he could leave until he tried
He misses Adam like a lung
His parents are dead, he has no job, he isn’t going to college
The Barns can run wild and unattended while he’s gone
Reasons Ronan should stay at the Barns:
He doesn’t know who he is in Cambridge
There is a tree that grows bags of chocolate covered peanuts there
Ronan can never be 100% certain that he won’t manifest his dreams
Phrases Declan allows himself to use in public:
Let’s focus on the real action item
This is what it’s going to take to close this deal
In the interest of clearing the air
Important things to know about Jordan Hennessy (Jordan/Hennessy? Jordan & Hennessy? *shrug emoji*):
Smile like a nuclear accident
Didn’t believe in either relaxing or being casual
Floral tattoos on her neck and fingers
Accustomed to wearing identities that weren’t hers
Doesn’t date anyone for long
Ways I am like Carmen Farooq-Lane:
Corporate sophistication (I like to think so, anyway)
Successful, self-possessed businesswoman
Likes schedules, systems, things in their place, holidays with specific celebratory rituals, games where people took turns, the pleasant thrill of plans coming to fruition
New places seen, new foods eaten, new people met
A smaller version inside screams and beats against the doors
The heart is a fool, the head knows better
Prefers to forget all previous ages
Toyota Supra (unfortunately, I know what a Challenger looks like because my ex’s sister’s douchebag boyfriend had one)
New terms that I would have googled if I could:
Zed - a dreamer, no distinction seems to be made between a Zed and a Greywaren
Visionary - experiences vivid premonitions of Zeds, other Visionaries and the end of the world
Moderator - works to prevent the end of the world by eliminating Zeds
Nightwash - the black ooze that runs out of a dreamer’s orifices when they have gone too long without dreaming, decidedly NOT a sexy word, sorry Ronan
Lindenmere - the new dreamscape that Ronan is using, and unfortunately sharing with another dreamer named Bryde
The Crying Club - Adam’s Harvard friends
Quotes/Phrases that gave me TRC feels:
Does any part of you still look at the sky and hurt?
It seemed to Jordan that if you could hold dominion over both those worlds—both day and night—you had quite a lot of power indeed.
Ronan realized that Adam was staring at him in exactly the same way Ronan was staring at Adam.
Ronan could have had more casual friends, but he didn’t see the point.
They already knew he wanted to see the world burn.
See you on the other side.
Moments when Ronan’s self-doubt broke my heart:
Neither of his brothers had said anything about how they felt about Ronan moving, and he couldn’t decide if it was because it didn’t make a difference to them or because they didn’t really think it would work.
He tried not to think about all the shining, educated, straightforward faces in the brochures that Adam Parrish might fall in love with instead of him.
He was unchanged. Completely unchanged. He couldn’t change if he wanted to.
It was not that he thought Adam would replace him. It was just that now he saw precisely what Adam could replace him with.
Adam was here having a new life, becoming a new person, growing from something beaten down into whoever he was meant to be. And Ronan was … Ronan.
Adam was changing. Ronan couldn’t.
More things that broke my heart:
“Yeah. I wish my dad could meet his dad. I hate my father.”
“He has such wonderful Southern family stories,”
“They think your father—I don’t even want to fucking call him that—is some kind of saint.”
“Is it so bad to start over?”
His voice hitched on because.
Things that gave me nightmares:
Horseshoe crabs, but with masks instead of shells
And little snapping, wet sounding mouths
Fucking barcodes on their bellies - WHAT WHY
Blinking blue eyes with really full eyelashes