The Things That Vary @bluewingwind-blog - Tumblr Blog

Ever questioned your existence? Ever thought that maybe the reason why you stay up at night, contemplating the universe and your role in it, is because you don’t actually exist? Ever eaten a taco? No you haven’t. You don’t exist.

jigglypuffsvevo

daftalchemist

did I ever mention that I know someone whose family owned a zombie dog because that’s some real shit that I get to delight with at parties

themintywitch

Tell us that story?

daftalchemist

okay here is the story of the zombie dog

this dog’s name was John. they found him half drowned in a bag of puppies that were not so fortunate as he was, and was taken in immediately. he was a runt and not quite right (most likely from the whole half drowned thing), but a very loving dog. the problem with John was that he smelled like death, and no one knew why. vets couldn’t figure it out. it was obviously some kind of skin problem, but they had no idea what kind. all anyone knew was that if you touched him, you would smell like death too, so you couldn’t pet him, and that for some reason, the only thing that made the smell go away was being around other dogs. so they got another dog and the death smell stopped and John lived a very happy life

when he was getting old, maybe about 15 years, part of his skull caved in. just like that! suddenly had a huge dent in his head! and he was totally fine. didn’t notice it, didn’t affect him at all. just this massive dent right there in his head where his skull had collapsed in on his brain, and he was still the happiest and most loving dog. the skull cave in, for whatever reason, caused the ear on that side of his head to just fall off entirely, but again, perfectly happy dog who did not know he was down an ear and a fully formed skull. they took him to the vet, thinking maybe they should put him down. I mean, wouldn’t you think so? but the vet said that the dog was eating, and pooping, and happy, so there was no reason to put him down, so they didn’t

but that’s not even the weird part. the weird part is the area of the brain that got caved in on was apparently the area that registers pain, so this one-eared, collapsed skull dog could no longer feel any pain. he got old, his joints got stiff, his teeth rotted out of his head, his tongue hung out of his mouth and got black and hard, and he felt none of it! in fact, he was happier than he’d ever been feeling no pain, and the fact that he didn’t feel how much he was falling apart somehow made him live until he was 23. that’s right, the collapsed skull, one eared, zero teeth, smells like literal death when alone dog lived to be 23 years old. they used to joke that he’d been dead for years, but was too stupid to realize it yet

and that’s the story about the literal zombie dog my friend’s family owned

castironjackelope

I'n simultaneously delighted, alarmed, a little horrified and impressed all at once.

om-exia

ubiquitous-pearl-deactivated201

Y u pet me

Keep pet me

This always makes me happy, because the source video shows that the shark actually wanted this. It experienced it once and then kept coming back for more petting.

(also, because i’ve seen comments about this: the shark is able to breathe while still, not all species need to be in motion to pass water through their gills. If you look closely, you can see its gills pumping)

I would very much like if more people would pet sharks and be good to them instead of trying to hurt them please

Sharks are very lovely and should get pettings like these more :)

MythBusters did an episode on how to survive a shark attack and a shark’s nose is so sensitive that a gentle tap is all you need to drive it away. The guy sat on the ocean floor with a bucket of chum and didn’t get attacked once, when hungry sharks swam up he’d give them a boop on the nose and they’d swim away. So if the shark is friendly, pet the snoot. If the shark is dangerous, boop the snoot. Either way, no one dies.

Boop the snoot

Reblogging for adorable shark and ‘boop the snoot.’

awogga

I dunno amethyst, shoving an entire pizza burrito down your throat is pretty amazing to me

evolution-incarnate

Amethyst is a snake Confirmed

bluewingwind-blog

Sneople confirmed.

closet-keys

Whats the difference between female and woman?

“Female” is an adjective. “Woman” is a noun.

Referring to a person as “A Female” or a group of people as “Females” is objectifying, because it reduces them to that singular characteristic. It’s kind of a subtle thing, esp. if you’re learning English as a second language.

It functions linguistically in a very similar way to other identifying adjectives such as “black” or “trans” or “gay.” It’s totally fine to say “a black person” or “black people” but saying “a black” or “some blacks” sounds inherently racist, because you stop describing people’s race and start defining them as nothing more than their race.

It’s totally fine to say “a transgender person” or “transgender people” but “a transgender” or “some transgenders” sounds inherently transphobic.

Same with “a gay person”/“gay people” vs “a gay”/“some gays”

In addition to that, “females” as a noun is also primarily used by MRAs (”Male Rights Activists” who are misogynist) and TERFs (”Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists” who are transmisogynist).

So basically, for many English-speaking women, using “female” as a noun is a quick way to make us very nervous about how you perceive women.

gabriel-picolo

Icarus and the Sun

Inspired by Icarus, who dared to fly too near the sun on wings of feathers and wax. If he was in love with the sun, then this might as well be a story of forbidden love.

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sougoii

@asadhis @lunnir

crystals-andstones

Oh my gosh this is beautiful…

actualweeb-deactivated20180819

Headcanon: Like Salazar Slytherin, each founder had a hidden chamber. Godric Gryffindor made a training room full of magical weapons, only to be opened by a true Gryffindor. Rowena Ravenclaw made a library full of every book ever written, muggle and magical, updating every day, only to be opened by those who trukly crave knowledge. Helga Hufflepuff made a simple room, made to cater to the needs of anyone who needed it. To this day, it is known as the Room of Requirement.

icanhelpyouthere

OH I LOVE THIS SO MUCH YES THE ROOM IS SUCH A HELGA THING OMG

radvinesandheadbands-deactivate

YES I ACCEPT THIS HEADCANON

weloveshortvideos

mythoughtlessrambles

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS SORCERY

bpd-dylan-hall-deactivated20190

what does “men who adhere to strict gender binary” even mean tho

NO ONE adheres to the gender binary! NO ONE FITS THEIR GENDER ROLE PERFECTLY! THAT’S THE POINT! AARRRGGH!

drethelin

NOOOOO OOOOONE…. ADHERES TO THE GENDER BINARY LIKE GASTON!

Originally posted by clarabellecow

shitifindon

when I try to hear this in my head my mental voice is incapable of pronouncing it fast enough to fit the timing of the line “noooo oooone… adjksjfksfjslenry like Gaston!”

and when I try to fit it to one of the longer such lines, my mental voice becomes too confused about conflicting scansion to continue

featurelessorb

no one’s droll like gaston no one’s swole like gaston no one fits his assigned gender role like gaston

thehypnobunny

I’m especially fond of the paaaatriaaarchy My what a guy that gastooon

vortexsophia-deactivated2022110

tastefullyoffensive

(photo by bowlerhatbear)

dogbirthday

go with him

sylentsage

This is like… my secret dream? I would love for this to happen to me.

speciesofleastconcern

wake up mister! it’s time for you to die

damare-draws

perfect imperfect Carlos

rhubabby

honestly i make this every single day lmao

ding-dong-diddly-dick

I uh……

I tried

factfiend

Fun fact: According to Greek legend there was a famous prostitute who managed to avoid a death sentence by showing the judges her boobs and arguing that it would be a crime against the Gods to destroy something so beautiful.

Before you ask, yes there are paintings of this. And yes, they’re amazing.

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