The patter of rapidly approaching gallops stirred Butch from a dead sleep. Groggy and disoriented, his body ached from the hard floor. Floor? How did he end up down there? Surely he went to sleep in his bed. Right? How did he get home last night? He couldn't remember at all.
As he used his hand prop himself up he winced at the sharp pain of a splinter in his palm. Ow, Goddamnit he thought to himself. Suddenly he was aware of splinters all over body. Both his palms, his forearms, his ankles, his butt cheeks. His butt cheeks? Butch shot up from the floor. He had been sprawled out on the floor of his cabin for God knows how long in nothing but his cowboy boots.
Before he could even begin to investigate what happen, the clomping of the hooves grew louder. "Butch MacKenzie, get out here right now!" The Sheriff's voice was unmistakably.
"Just a second," Butch yelled through the cracked window. His voice was way hoarser than he had expected it to be.
"No sirree! Right now or I'll tie you to the back of my horse myself and drag you down to the jail."
"It's just that, I wasn't expecting you," Butch scrambled for something to cover himself with but nothing was in arms' reach.
"MacKenzie. Don't make me come in there." That threat sealed the roughrider's fate. If he wasn't outside in seconds he was getting arrested. No way in hell the sheriff would let him get dressed before that either. He rather the sheriff see him naked than get dragged bare ass down Main Street. He grabbed his stetson from the hook by the front door, clamped it over his manhood and emerged into the sunlight.
"Mornin," Butch said sheepishly. He clammed up right away as he realized the sheriff was accompanied by two officers. All three men burst out laughing.
"Wooo-weee, what do we have here? Say fellas, you ever see a man barer than sheered sheep wearing boots?"
"No sheriff, this is a first."
"Likewise, sir. I reckon I ain't ever see a man this side of fourteen with quite so little hair below his eyebrows." Their laughter continued as Butch turned fuchsia.
"Do you have any idea why we're here or is your mind as bare as your body?" the Sheriff asked Butch.
"Haven't a clue," Butch said.
"Old man Wilson down at the Saloon said you refused to settle your tab," the Sheriff began.
"And when he came over to you to demand the money, you stripped down completely in protest." one of the other officers interjected.
"You really showed him!" the third chimed in. The two officers chuckled and the Sheriff caught himself smirking before reverting to his signature steely look.
"Him and the whole town," the other officer said between chuckles. "We have eye witness reports of you riding starkers down Main Street."
"God, can you imagine how uncomfortable that must have been?"
"I mean my nuts ache though chaps, jeans, and breeches. I'd never dream of letting my trusty steed touch bare saddle leather."
"The ass ache alone would be-"
"Gentleman," the sheriff interrupted, "MacKenzie, we just came to see if Old Man Wilson's story was true before collecting his debt." He gave Buck's naked body a once over, "and evidently it is."
"What do I owe him?" Butch asked sheepishly, feeling that even covered by his hat it was as if the Sheriff could see right through it.
"$25," the Sheriff responded. One of the officers whistled, impressed by the mighty high bar tab.
"That is a lot," Butch said crestfallen, "let me see what I've got in the house to give you all a deposit before heading down to the bank."
As Butch turned to enter the house, he flashed the three lawman a view of his bare ass for the first time.
"Yes-haw the moon sure is out early today."
"You see that bounce, that puppy is waxing and waning something fierce."
Butch clamped a hand over his crack, trying to give himself some cover. This only sent the two officers into a fit of laughter.
"Will you two grow up, or I'll drag both of you bare ass through the town square." That shut them up real quick. "But they're right, MacKenzie, cover up while you're in there. No one wants to see that keister this early in the morning!"
