Losing It

Place to vent and cry Fuck off

[bluubon3s]

Feeling fucking gross again. Time to relapse!

[bluubon3s]

Breakfast: 200

Lunch : 305

Dinner : 200

Snack : 70

Total : 775

Workout : 107

After workout: 671

10 hour fast starts : 8:20 pm

Slightly better ig

[bluubon3s]

Breakfast: 190

Snack : 107

Lunch : 373

Dinner : 200

Snack : 0

Total : 800

Workout : 0 (I’m a fucking lazy bitch)

After workout: 800

10 fast starts : 9:55 pm

i fucking hate myself

[bluubon3s]

Breakfast: 90

Snack : 180

Lunch : 357

Dinner : 0

Snack : 160

Total : 767

Workout : 0 (I was a lazy pig)

After workout: 767

10 fast starts : 8 pm

A okay day ig

I swear to god Im going to workout in the morning

[bluubon3s]

Are you really recovering when you hate every moment of eating?

I feel so gross man why can’t I just be thin and happy

[bluubon3s]

Love that feeling of laying in bed and my stomach growls loudly

I feel great

[bluubon3s]

Love planning my meals and what I’m  restricting knowing damn well I’m going to break once I get home

:)))))

I just wanna be thin man

[bluubon3s]

vent moment dont mind me

god i dont know if i wanna recover or just do what ive been doing. the idea of reaching my weight goal is amazing and i just wanna reach it for once and hopefully maintain it. but like, i have a partner now and i knew they want me to recover. i also know that they like the idea of me recovering AND getting buff which im not against but also

I hate me body and while the idea of getting muscles isn't the worst, i think ill be sick through the entire process and will most likely hurt myself in the process.

also like i know its a terrible idea to change your entire weight for your partner and sure recovering while in a relationship is a good idea BUT i truly believe that you need to recover for yourself and by yourself and while having a support system is nice, what happens if the relationship ends?? if you cant support yourself then your just going to relapse.

this is a vent sorry but also :/

[bluubon3s]

I don’t wanna talk about the last couple days

God I hate being so fucking fat

[bluubon3s]

No logging since I’m a dumb bitch but I’m guessing like 600~500 cals?? Probably more :))))

Also no workout because I’m a lazy dumb bitch :)))

God I hate myself

[bluubon3s]

Fast : 13 hours

Breakfast :0 (green tea)

Lunch : 375

Dinner : 0

Before workout : 375

Work out : 225

After workout : 150

10 hours fast starts @ 7:40

-

Better day

Already thinking what I’m going to eat/drink tomorrow and planning what has the lowest cals (:

I got this

[bluubon3s]

Fast : 13 hours

Breakfast : 380

Lunch : 875

Dinner :

Before workout : 1,255

Work out : 262

After workout : 993

10 hours fast starts @8:30

-

I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I-

[bluubon3s]

Fast : 10 hours

Breakfast : 0

Lunch : 228

Dinner : 530

Snack : too much cookies wtf is wrong with me

Before workout : so much god

Work out : 254

After workout : still fat

10 hours fast starts @ 9:00

-

I’ve been a lazy fatass but god damn it im going to lose this weight I fucking swear

[bluubon3s]

Fast : 13 hours

Breakfast : 231

Lunch : 261

Dinner :

Snack : 300

Before workout : 761

Work out : 245

After workout : 516

10 hours fast starts @ 9:00

-

I hate myself

Also I use FitOn for my workouts. They tell you how many calories you burn with every workout so I do like two or three workouts. Mainly my legs

[bluubon3s]

Shout out to my stomach for screaming when I’m alone and being silent when I talk to people!

I knew we’re on the same side

-

Haven’t logging lastly but have fasting!

[bluubon3s]

when they confess that they like you but you’re not at you goal weight :)))))))))))

[bluubon3s]

Fast : 14 hours

Breakfast : 115

Lunch : 0 (Green tea)

Dinner : 819

Before workout : 934

Work out : 453

After workout : 481

10 hours fast starts @ 8:55

- -

I over ate because I’m a fat fucking ass so I did some extra workouts in the hopes I burn all the fucking cals I ate