The art of the pivot or "when life gives you lemons" monologue as performed by Roderick Usher - The Fall of the House of Usher, episode 3 "Murder in the Rue Morgue"
"One thing I tried to teach them, the art of the pivot. When life hands you lemons... first you roll out a multimedia campaign to convince people lemons are incredibly scarce, which only works if you stockpile lemons, control the supply, then a... A media blitz. Lemon is the only way to say "I love you," the must-have accessory for engagements or anniversaries. Roses are out, lemons are in. Billboards that say she won't have sex with you unless you got lemons. You cut De Beers in on it. Limited edition lemon bracelets, yellow diamonds called lemon drops. You get Apple to call their new operating system OS-Lemón. A little accent over the "o".
You charge 40% more for organic lemons, 50% more for conflict-free lemons. You pack the Capitol with lemon lobbyists, you get a Kardashian to suck a lemon wedge in a leaked sex tape. Timothée Chalamet wears lemon shoes at Cannes. Get a hashtag campaign. Something isn't cool or tight or awesome, no, it's lemon. Did you see that movie? Did you go to that concert? It was effing lemon. Billie Eilish, OMG, hashtag... lemon. You get Dr. Oz to recommend four lemons a day and a lemon suppository supplement to get rid of toxins 'cause there is nothing scarier than toxins. Then you patent the seeds. You write a line of genetic code that makes lemons look just a little more like tits and you get a gene patent for the tit-lemon dna sequence, you cross pollinate, you get those seeds circulating in the wild, and then you sue the farmers for copyright infringement when that genetic code shows up on their land.
Sit back, rake in the millions, and then, when you're done, and you've sold your lem-pire for a few billion dollars, then and only then, you make some fucking lemonade."
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