Dr. Horrible Starters
A lot of guys ignore the laugh and that’s about standards.
Wow. Sarcasm. That’s original.
I don’t have time for a grudge match with every poser in a parka.
That’s the plan. Rule the world. You and me. Any day.
Just a few weeks away from a real audible connection.
Only have to sign your name. Don’t even have to read it.
Wednesdays and Saturdays. Except twice last month you skipped a weekend.
The fish rots from the head, as they say, so my thinking is why not cut off the head?
Stand back, everyone! Nothin’ here to see! Just imminent danger, in the middle of it, me!
Did you notice how he threw you in the garbage?
Look around, we’re living with the lost and found.
I know. All those months doing a stunningly boring chore.
You’re kidding. What a crazy random happenstance!
You’re driving a spork into your leg.
And I inadvertently introduced the girl of my dreams to my archnemesis.
And I hold a PHD in horribleness.
Killing is not elegant or creative. It’s not my style.
Even in the darkness every color can be found.
How are things with cheesy on the outside?
Apparently the only signature he needed was my fist…but with a pen in it, that I was signing with.
The hammer is my penis.
And she may cry but her tears will dry when I hand her the keys to a shiny new Australia!
They say it’s better the second time, they say you get to do the weird stuff.
This is his dry cleaning bill! Four sweater vests!
You know what, I don’t need tiny cue cards.
There’s the deltoids of compassion, there’s the abs of being kind. It’s not enough to bash in heads, you’ve got to bash in minds!
A hero doesn’t care if you’re a bunch of scary alcoholic bums!
Look at these people, amazing how sheep ‘ll show up for the slaughter!
That’s not a good sound.
I think this is what pain feels like!
And I won’t feel a thing.
