LGBT Pride - Bisexuals 03/06/2019.
Being a bisexual and having been out of the closet for just about three years now, there are several things I have encountered in these past years that I want to share and make clear on a day that’s really important to me.
1. Bisexuality is not the same as being gay, and actually the miss identification really can hurt. I know what you are going through if this has happened to you. My step-brother was the first person I came out to, thinking even if he didn’t understand fully, he would at least keep quiet. Instead he went and told his entire school I was a lesbian, which got around the village faster than I expected. At the end of the day, even if something like this happens, it is a wonderful opportunity to educate others about our incredibly valid sexuality.
2. Being Bisexual, does not necessarily mean one swings more towards their own sex/gender. I’ve had many close friends who have tended to be more attracted to the opposite sex but still have fallen for one of their own. Personally, many times I have been asked which sex I prefer, and you should never feel pressured to answer this. If one does have a preference and they are brave enough to share that information, be proud of them! - But never feel that you should have a preference, because at the end of the day love is love, and it’s not all about bits, but what your heart says fits! <3
3. EQUALLY, just because one may date more females over males or visa versa, doesn’t mean that they are being untruthful about their sexuality. Myself? As far as I am aware (and believe me I have searched!) there aren’t many bisexuals or lesbians in my local area, and so it is far more likely for me to date a man - again, this has been a proven theory!
4. Never let anyone tell you what your sexuality is. That’s only something you can decide, no matter how discriminative people can get. Keep your beautiful heads high my sweets! While my mother has mostly been supportive, earlier this year she turned to me after I made a comment relating to my sexuality and she told me “You’re not Bisexual.” Which was a shock, honestly. I asked her why she thought that, and her response was simply, “You never talk to me about girls.” Which leads me onto my next point...
5. Never feel pressured to discuss the topic! It’s your love life! That’s only your business and no one else's unless you choose to tell them! I mean, in the case I just mentioned, I don’t feel comfortable talking to my mother about my romantic or sexual attraction to boys, never mind girls!
6. To people who aren’t attracted to bisexuals, please don’t behave rudely or disgusted when a bisexual plucks up the courage to flirt. If like me, you’re living in an area where there isn’t any pride events or places for bisexuals/gays/lesbians can meet together, we have to be brave and just try. It takes a lot of courage to put ourselves in a situation where we are likely to be rejected. Please cherish the strength that takes, and politely say that you aren’t interested. You know as well as we do, that rejection hurts.
7. There are many things I have left to say, but this is getting long so I’m going to end it with this one. This point is very important to me because on so, so many occasions have I been offered this, and it is never something I can get over. Being bisexual, does not mean we are polyamorous (or polysexual - I honestly don’t know what it’s called I usually just go with poly I’m sorry!). Neither does it mean that we are lonely, and are just dying to be a part of your threesome fantasies. Men and Women, have asked me if I wanted to join them in sexual activities, and these range from people I only knew for five minutes, to those I had considered close friends. A lot of them even asked me multiple times no matter how many rejections I gave. Remember that you deserve respect, and you are most certainly not simply a body. You are a person, a soul, an entity. If someone is not respecting your wishes, and are putting their lust over you - they do not deserve you.
Whether you are in the closet or out, you are all beautifully strong and I wish all my love and hopes upon you for your futures to be happy. You are all so brave and I adore every single one of you, no matter who you are, where you come from, who you love, or what you believe in. Our diversity makes this world a wonderful place...of course there will always be obstacles which if are hurting us, we have no ratified treaty to keep. You can choose your family.
