okay so just like
you've been building up to coming out. you've been teasing it with 2 (?) music videos
one of which is like you as the mayor of gay town where you hired a drag queen of yourself and showed yourself hugging a woman you had had very public beef with and... whole yntcd mv post coming soon lmao
correct me if in wrong but like all of her music videos pre reputation were just like very heterosexual no? like not just made by a straight person but they were about straight relationships (ours, love story, our song*, we are never ever getting back together, wildest dreams, style, etc)
your sm posts are very queer coated, you've been dropping hints and some people are starting to realize
you do a show at stonewall. like stonewall inn. during pride month. you have not come out officially but imagine you're a baby queer, it's one of the first prides where you know you're queer (or that a few other people know you're queer, i don't know what her timeline is lol) and you get to play at stonewall. you got to work with so many queer legends in a personal project about your experience with homophobia. you stared and directed in a music video about all the things that make you you.
i could be wrong on this but wasn't it lover era that she started directing her own mvs?
imagine what an amazing experience that is. you've just moved record labels and have so much more creative control, you have 2 amazing music videos under your belt. you created this big fan arg thing, and a bunch more creatively fulfilling projects in the works for after pride.
you commissioned a queer designer to make a dress for you for pride, you're going to come out. you're going to rip the bandaid off. whether you'd explicitly say it or not, there's not a damn chance a supportive straight person would wear a camp ass rainbow tool ballgown dress to the 50th anniversary of stonewall pride parade. no way. an ally that was hired to perform at pride would wear a t shirt that says support trans kids, some cut off shorts, and a pronoun pin. the would wear something lowkey because they are an ally and pride is not about allies. allies do not deliberately attract attention at pride ESPECIALLY not nyc pride, exactly 50 years after the hairpin drop (no we do not have time to discuss the hairpins) heard round the world.
instead though, on june 30th your work gets stolen. one of the men at the helm of the worst depressive episodes of your life now owns the music you created over the past 13 years. you were at a new record label. you were doing what you wanted, you were calling the shots, you were going to buy your own music at some point soon and then once you owned it, you could license it to movies, you could let other people use it in their work on your own terms. you would be earning money from the things you created. but instead, you found out on what was supposed to be one of the most important days of your life, that the worst person now owns 11 years of your soul. he owns music you wrote about things he caused. he owns music you wrote about neighbors and past loves and about yourself. and you found this out publicly. at the same time that everyone else did.
you can't go to pride now. you cannot wear that dress. you cannot be gay and joyful and happy when the worst thing to happen to you professionally has just happened. so you stay in the closet. you stay half in and half out. you've done all this flagging but for what? your coming out was stolen from you. your plan didn't go through and you can't try again because there will be no pride next year or the year after that, and it wont be the 50 year anniversary. your first music videos for songs that you own will be old news, your album will have already come out; unlike you. you're cut in half, stuck between 2 worlds. you couldn't force yourself back into the closet if you wanted to, but can't come out either, and it's been 5 years
