Average Experiences of an Average Black Girl 🛀🏾

Come Experience Things WIth Me.I am here to express myself, my thoughts, and my emotions towards what goes on not just in society but in my crazy ass brain too. I feel like somewhere out there you can either relate or learn something new about other people here.

[bnomaid]

How do I find my artistic style?

[bnomaid]

Shiero's first time realizing she can be insensitive.

Jay: Abby is running late to work.

Shiero: Well maybe she shouldn't be working if she's pregnant.

Jay: We all gotta eat.

*30 minutes later*

Jay: Abby still isn't here.

Shiero: Maybe she got into a car accident.

*horrified looks on everyone's face*

Jay: Why the hell would you say something like that.

Shiero: Because I say what's on my mind.

Jay: That's fucked up, almost all of us in here are parents. How would you feel if we said something like that about you.

Shiero thinks: * Parents... yeah but not by choice*

Shiero: Well frankly I don't care because it doesn't change the fact that I said it. However since it was insensitive, I do apologize.

Upon this conversation Shiero realized that everyone doesn't think like her and people can be more sensitive to subjects that she takes so lightly. Work usually where everyone can talk freely now didn't feel the same for Shiero. She realized to be there, she's just needed to work and go home, not discuss beliefs or even conversate with her coworkers out of not wanting to say something insensitive.

[bnomaid]

I am probably about to make a couple of post because I am venting.

[bnomaid]

Idk...

So I just came across a new word. It’s “race-baiting” I looked it up but I don’t think I really understand what it is. So if Tumblr could clarify that, it’d be great lol. Anyways as this lost child of the Universe wonders how to get back on track in life... well really, I don’t think I’m off track. I’m not on MY track but I’m on the Universe’s track of life and doing just as I am supposed to be doing. With my friends I am known for saying, “everything happens for a reason” and this is stand by 100%. Everything a person experiences is for the betterment of themselves believe it or not... even the pain and torture is Gods will because the strong will survive. When I say God, I use it interchangeably with the Universe because to me they are one in the same. God is the Universe and the Universe is God. God has no gender, it’s a spiritual being. That’s all I'm going to say on that. Or not actually lol, because when I start thinking it’s hard for me to stop. I don’t believe in the Christian God because I don’t respect the people who have used Christianity as a religion of persecution and enslavement. I am more interested in the will of the Universe and how people are all put on this earth to make it better... but it just keeps on getting worse. It’s hard. Believing is hard. In these challenging times when we want to believe the Illuminati is running shit and trying to just wipe out the people, you still have to have faith in a higher being. I de believe other evils and forces exist in the world but the Universe can not be overcome, the power within the Universe invested in it’s people is there. It exist, it’s just a matter of awakening that power. Lol so I was supposed to be talking about race and lead into a conversation... well not much of a conversation but me venting because I am trying to figure out my career and what path I want to take. I am sure God will guide me to where I need to be but I can make it easier and the trip shorter. 

[bnomaid]

Self-Quarantiningggggg

Ughhhh, I am ridiculously bored of complaining, I do it a lot. I just walk around the apartment complaining to myself and not doing anything about it but what much can I do, I’m stuck in the house with responsibilities and they just keep on piling up. All the things I took for granted, POOF! Gone, just like that. Fuck COVID-19

[bnomaid]

Nobody asked lol but my favorite movie is I Feel Pretty with Amy Schumer. I freaking love the confidence she gets after falling down because that’s what Beauty is all about. Just having the confidence to rock you and who you are. Typically I can be one of the most insecure people in the room when it comes to looks and I want to have the confidence it takes because that’s where it starts, I just gotta figure out how to get there. People say I have no reason to feel the way I do, as if saying that will change anything. It’s about me changing how I feel on the inside about how I look on the outside. Just had to get that off my chest 🗣

[thegoodvybe]

[bnomaid]

When I tend to like someone, I push them farther and farther away instead of telling them how I feel about them. Idk I guess there really is no point in my opinion because then there’s room for pain, and hurt. I don’t know. Then sometimes I feel like I’m too much

[bnomaid]

“First of all, get your name out of your mouth because you are unworthy” ✨👸🏽 “You can’t handle the power of saying my name”

[bnomaid]

Bonnaroo 2020!!!

So Bonnaroo 2020 is only a couple of months away, and I have never gone to such a music festival. I really hope it’s what everyone on the internet makes it out to be. I am going to try my best to be open and just have a good time. I wish I knew people going... maybe I can meet some people through this post...?

[bnomaid]

Ugh School...

So my professor made us create a website to basically advertise/market ourselves and our skills. I guess it’s like an interactive resume. I don’t know, nor do I really care.

[stickymangoes-deactivated201606]

Anyways I wanna be in love with someone who is equally as in love with me and I don’t want it to just be love I want us to be best friends and to adore and respect each other and to fit together like puzzle pieces and tbh I have faith I’ll find that

[bnomaid]

I really want to cut my hair. It’s so much simpler to manage that way but I also don’t want to cut it because I like the growth. I feel like it holds something to me but does it really?

[bnomaid]

How does it feel to cut yourself? Is the feeling of self-inflicted pain really enough to drown out the emotional pain? I can’t do it, I don’t want to do it but I want to feel something. I need to feel something. It’s just easier to feel pain than pleasure/love.

[bnomaid]

Me when I deal with people I’m interested in then realize I’m not.

[bnomaid]

It’s never not complicated when it comes to me and “talking” to people. There are always complications, I forgot that’s why I try so hard to just be alone. People are complicated and I hate taking the time to try to understand them when frankly I don’t care. I guess this isn’t good but this is in a social aspect. However when it comes to work and me wanting to be a manager, yes I will care about my employees. Two different subjects but anyhoo I’m gonna put people on the back burner and get some homework done.

[bnomaid]

Boys... Men... whatever you call them... is there really a difference?

From the men my age, to the ones a couple of years older than me, to the ones who are 2-3 decades older than me all really are the same. 🤷🏾‍♀️ It’s interesting, but I’m uninterested. Sorry.