@springhealer asked: i thought i lost you.
anxiety curls , and the heavy , terrifying reality of her actions rises bile in the back of her throat , and that . . . that feeling , that overwhelming awareness of vulnerability that shadows overhead the moment you step out from that gate —— that you’ve been handed the expectations your village has indebted to you. to protect and serve and put forth that very hand of trust —— that CONFIDENCE that you and your comrades will look out for one another because whether ino likes it or not , there is never a guarantee you’ll return as you left.
ino thinks it’s the cause and effect of being a shinobi that’s made her the fighter she is now. the very reason she’s allowed herself to choose the roll she’s trained so hard for. however , it’s also because of who she is that has led her to be careless , allowing her heart to act first in the wake of protecting those she loves. and yeah , maybe it is too careless , too SELFISH , to throw herself to the enemy the way she did , but if it means one more person will get to return home then it is one thing ino will not apologise for.
ino believes that love and falling in love are not really all that different , but what she realizes , belatedly , is it is not something that can be taught , either.
there are no rules , no guidelines to follow. you’re walking in blind , relying on the only thing that is worth listening to. your heart. it’s as her father used to tell her: the heart is a very powerful thing. you must always listen to it. even if you might not want to , know that it will never steer you wrong.
it’s with this very heart that ino feels that fear. that pain. the misgivings of burdening sakura with so much heartache. she felt it then , when she awoke in the hospital room with sakura by her side , and she feels it now. more powerful than she’s ever had to endure as the woman she loves pours out everything she has to give , BEARING herself in ways that burn under her wavering gaze. it twists and curls and b r e a k s , shattering helplessly as ino moves , arms winding tight , tighter , around sakura’s trembling form.
she buries herself there , in the curve of sakura’s shoulder , taking in steadying breaths that shake over broken words. “ i’m so sorry. i’m so . . . so fucking sorry , sakura. i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry. “
this is why ino needs to come home , too.