I will always be so thankful to have learnt about you in my life. You’re strength. You’re bravery. You’re poetry. I mean you make me feel like mark shaer. I will always be inspired by the mysterious human you were. And each and every day that passes I think of you. Who you truly where. If this is you. If it’s not.. you gave me a new perspective of the way the world works and humans in it. I hope you know.. that you truly mattered and still matter to this very day. That your work was certainly never forgotten.. I have found so many people. Connected through Jamie that were inspired by you. And was extremely invested in the mystery which is Christopher Marlowe. It saddens me that a great human like him isn’t immortal. But his work sure will be. And that’s what makes me sleep better at night. Years ago. I would cry a lot. I felt a great sadness. Lonely. I had this sense of calming. And you came to mind. I hope you are out there somewhere. I hope you know you saved lives. By keeping it real. I hope you know your birth, your life, your death. Played a huge deal in literature history. Forever known as the great master Marlowe. I love you. I hope there’s some sort of place for a beautiful vessel like you to find refuge. I hope you are in love. I pray to the universe itself. That you are somewhere. Hell that anyone ever great and impactful as you. Is somewhere. Maybe I’m holding on hope. But I hope death itself would bring me to you in some way. To express everything that I truly want to say to you. To the soul that was you. And if even if there’s nothing out there after we die.. I hope the world never forgets to shine light into your life. To always read into you. Because you. By far. Deserve that. At the very least. Kit Marlowe. I love you so very much.
@diaryyun @thenightwifeoftheladybird @monet-poetry @kitkat-marlowe @boldlyhappydreamland @cloudedmind666 @theo-the-magnificent @lemurious you inspire me as always
Chapter 1 lieth here
Part II: The Habit of Warmth
It began with Campion.
Or rather — it began three days after the confession in the study, when Longino was making his evening rounds and paused at László's door, intending only to inquire about his sleep, his appetite, the usual clinical inventory. He knocked. László called him in. And Longino found the bishop at his desk, reading, with Blondel arranged on the windowsill beside him like a small furry magistrate, eating a candied apricot with judicial deliberation.
"Doktor Cattaneo." László looked up. The amber eyes, in the lamplight, were the colour of old cognac. "You are finished with the Baroness?"
"She is well. She walked in the garden again today — nearly an hour."
"Good." László set down his book. "Sit down. Unless you are needed elsewhere."
Longino was not needed elsewhere. He should have been — there was a report to write, there were notes to review, there was the apparatus of professional life that he used, consciously, as a bulwark against the hours that were simply *empty*. But he sat down. He did not examine why.
"What are you reading?" he asked.
László turned the volume so Longino could see the spine.
*The Poems of Saint Edmund Campion.*
Longino went still.
"You know him," László said. It was not a question.
"He was martyred in 1581. Hanged, drawn, and quartered at Tyburn." Longino's voice was careful. "Marlowe was seventeen years old. He was already at Cambridge on his scholarship. It is possible—"
He stopped.
László was watching him with those amber eyes, patient and precise.
"It is possible," Longino continued, "that Marlowe knew of Campion. Knew of the trial. Was affected by it. There are scholars who believe that Faustus's final speech — *O lente, lente currite noctis equi* — echoes Campion's words before his execution."
László said nothing. He simply waited.
"They were on opposite sides," Longino said. "Marlowe worked for Walsingham's service. Campion was precisely the kind of man they were hunting. And yet—"
"And yet?"
"And yet Faustus's terror of damnation is written by someone who understood what it meant to believe. Truly believe. Not the performing of belief, not the political allegiance — the *thing itself*. The knowledge that the soul is real and that it matters what becomes of it." Longino looked at his hands. "You cannot write that from the outside."
László turned the Campion volume in his hands.
"Sit down properly," he said. "You are perching like a man who has not yet decided whether to stay."
Longino looked at the chair he had taken — he was, indeed, sitting on its edge, his weight forward, his body angled toward the door. He leaned back. The chair received him. The stove ticked.
"Tell me," László said, "about Marlowe and faith. What do you believe he believed?"
And Longino — who had not spoken of this to anyone, who had carried his Elizabethan obsession in solitude for fifteen years like a man carrying water in cupped hands, careful not to spill — began to talk.
---
He came back the next evening.
He told himself it was a professional visit. The bishop's sleep had been poor — László had mentioned it with characteristic lightness, the manner of a man who has made peace with insomnia as with a tiresome but familiar houseguest — and Longino wished to assess whether adjustments to his evening medication might be warranted.
This was true. It was also, he recognized somewhere below the clinical reasoning, not the entire truth.
László was at the window when he arrived, watching Blondel navigate the final branches of the chestnut in the last of the winter light. The squirrel moved with extraordinary precision, each leap calculated, each landing certain — the confidence of a creature that has never doubted its own competence.
"He reminds me sometimes of Professor von Aulitz," László said, without turning.
Longino came to stand beside him. "Blondel?"
"That absolute assurance. The sense that the laws of the universe have been personally arranged for his convenience." A pause. "Though von Aulitz has never, to my knowledge, hoarded candied apricots in a chestnut tree."
"Not that we know of."
László's eyes moved. It was that small, contained thing — the warmth that lived in the amber, that expressed itself in the eyes rather than the mouth. Longino had learned, in the past three days, to watch for it.
"Sit down, Doktor Cattaneo. I will ring for tea."
"I cannot stay long."
"You said that yesterday. You stayed for two hours."
Longino sat down.
---
This was how it happened. Not dramatically — there was no moment of decision, no conscious choice. Simply a gradual accrual of evenings, each one begun with some professional pretext and extended by the particular gravity of the conversation, until the pretexts became unnecessary and they both tacitly acknowledged that Longino came to the study because he wished to be there.
It was strange. It was *deeply* strange — or rather, the strangeness was in his own reaction to it, in the novelty of the thing itself.
He liked being here.
Longino Cattaneo, who had not truly *liked* being anywhere in particular since — since a winter he did not name, since a city he did not visit, since an event that lived in his bones rather than his words — liked being in László Köváry's study.
He examined this fact with the precision he brought to pathological findings. Turned it over, looked at it from multiple angles, tested it against alternative hypotheses.
*You are his physician*, he told himself. *You find him interesting as a case. The neuropathology alone is—*
But this was dishonest, and he knew it. He was not here for the neuropathology.
He was here because László listened. Because László spoke. Because in the forty-three years of his complicated life, the bishop had accumulated a quality of understanding that had nothing to do with agreement — he did not always agree with Longino, and said so clearly — and everything to do with *reception*. The sense, rare enough in Longino's experience to feel almost miraculous, of being genuinely heard.
He was here because the study was warm and smelled of old books and beeswax and the faint sweetness of the hazelnuts Blondel tracked in from his chestnut.
He was here because the amber eyes, in lamplight, were the most honest eyes he had encountered in fourteen years.
He did not allow himself to complete the thought. To name what the amber eyes reminded him of. Some comparisons were not useful. Some doors were not to be opened.
---
"You are elsewhere this evening," László said.
Longino looked up. The bishop was watching him over the rim of his tea glass — he drank tea from a glass, in the Hungarian fashion, with a silver holder, and had expressed polite but firm resistance to the clinic's china cups.
"Forgive me."
"Nothing to forgive. I am simply noting it." László set down his glass. "You were thinking about something distant."
"Yes."
László waited. He did not ask *what*. He simply waited, in that way he had, offering space without demanding it be filled.
Longino was silent for a long moment.
"I have not—" He stopped. The words that wanted to come were not words he had ever said aloud, and he found that he could not say them now. Not the specifics. Not the name. Not the city or the year or the particular quality of grey in a pair of eyes that had trusted him completely and had not been saved by that trust.
"I have not allowed myself to become close to anyone," he said finally. "In some years."
"I had gathered that."
"It is—" He stopped again. "There are reasons."
"There always are."
László did not ask what they were. He simply sat with the fact of them, the way one sits with a fire that has burned down — acknowledging its warmth without demanding to know what was consumed.
"I find," Longino said carefully, "that I look forward to these evenings."
The words cost him something. He could feel the cost — the small controlled vulnerability of admitting to an attachment, after all those years of cultivated solitude.
László nodded. Slowly. As though the admission were not surprising, but deserved to be received with appropriate gravity.
"As do I," he said.
Simple. Final. Offered without qualification or elaboration, in the manner of a man who says what he means and means what he says.
Longino looked at him. At the dark chestnut hair, slightly disordered from an afternoon's reading. At the cassock, its buttons precisely fastened despite the informal hour. At the ring on the smallest finger of his left hand — bronze, slightly too large, a family crest worn smooth — that he had noticed from the beginning and had not asked about, because some things are visible without being available.
He did not ask about the ring. László did not volunteer.
They were, both of them, men with rooms they did not open.
And this — Longino understood suddenly — was precisely why the evenings were possible. Because neither of them demanded entry. Because they could sit together in the warmth of the present without requiring excavation of the past.
It was a kind of intimacy he had not known existed.
---
"Come back tomorrow evening," László said. "Bring that edition of the sonnets you mentioned. The one that kept you awake."
"You wish to read them?"
"I wish to understand what has had a grown man weeping on a terrace in January." The amber eyes held their warmth. "And I suspect that understanding Marlowe requires reading what he wrote. Even if the name on the cover is wrong."
Longino looked at him.
*This man*, he thought. *This complicated, ill, brilliant, careful man, who feeds squirrels and drinks tea from a glass and wears a ring he does not explain on his smallest finger.*
*Who does not ask about my sealed rooms. Who does not expect me to ask about his.*
*I did not expect this. I did not expect him.*
"Tomorrow evening," he said.
"Tomorrow evening," László agreed.
Outside, the Rhine moved in its dark channel, young and cold and carrying everything the mountains had given it, southward and westward, toward the sea it had not yet learned to imagine.
---
The weeks accumulated.
They read the sonnets together — or rather, Longino read them aloud, and László listened, and they spoke afterward about what they had heard. Sometimes for an hour. Sometimes for three. The tea grew cold in its glasses. Blondel came and went through the unlatched window, bringing pine needles and an air of mild disapproval when his tributes were not immediately forthcoming.
They did not speak of Hungary. They did not speak of Italy. They did not speak of the events that had made them who they were — the specific wounds, the particular losses, the names that lived in the sealed rooms.
But they spoke of everything else.
Of Campion and Southwell, of Donne before and after his conversion, of the strange alchemy by which suffering sometimes produces beauty and sometimes produces only more suffering. Of faith and doubt and the territory between them where most honest people actually live. Of medicine and theology and the places where they overlapped — the care of the body and the care of the soul, and whether these were truly separable, and whether it mattered if they were not.
Longino found himself saying things he had not said to anyone. Not the sealed things — those remained sealed — but other things. His ideas. His doubts. His convictions about Marlowe and the theft of his legacy, which had lived so long in solitude that they had begun to feel like madness, and which emerged now into László's study and were received as though they were simply *interesting*.
"You are not humoring me," Longino said one evening, startled.
László looked up from the sonnet he had been examining — Sonnet 29, *When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes* — with an expression of mild surprise.
"Why would I humor you?"
"Because most people—" Longino stopped. "Because it is easier."
"Easier than what?"
"Than actually engaging."
László set down the book. He looked at Longino for a long moment — that considering look, the amber eyes taking in more than most people ever saw.
"I am not interested in what is easy," he said. "I am interested in what is true. You have spent fifteen years developing a theory about the authorship of the greatest works in the English language. Either you are correct, or you are not. Either way, the question deserves to be examined with rigor. Not dismissed because it is unconventional."
Longino was silent.
"Besides," László added, "you are clearly correct. The Stratford man did not write these. A provincial grain merchant does not understand the love between men with this kind of—"
He gestured at the open page.
"—this kind of devastating precision."
Something in Longino's chest unlocked. It was very small — a single tumbler turning in a very old lock — but he felt it.
"No," he said. "He does not."
They sat with this for a moment. The stove ticked. Blondel, satisfied with his evening's arrangements, had curled into a ball on the windowsill with his tail over his nose, the picture of archduke contentment.
"Tell me about this man," László said. "This Walsingham. The one who betrayed him."
Longino looked at the bishop. At the careful way he held himself, the economy of movement that spoke of a body that was beginning to be unreliable and a will that refused to acknowledge this fact. At the ring on his smallest finger, which caught the lamplight.
He did not ask about the ring.
But he told him about Tom Walsingham. About Scadbury and the sonnets and the knife in the widow's house at Deptford. About the theft and the silence and the centuries of forgetting.
And László listened — with those amber eyes, with that particular quality of attention — and did not ask about the other things.
The sealed rooms remained sealed.
But the rooms they were willing to open — those, they opened wide.
@diaryyun @thenightwifeoftheladybird @kitkat-marlowe @monet-poetry @catbayunthestoryteller @boldlyhappydreamland @cloudedmind666 you inspire me
Also
@lemurious you gave me strength for writing about Kit
The Tabard had seen better centuries. What Chaucer's pilgrims had known as a respectable inn for respectable folk journeying to Canterbury—and Kit had read his Chaucer, oh yes, scratching out the Middle English by rushlight while his father snored and dreamed of leather—was now a place of soot-blackened beams and floors sticky with the memory of a thousand spilled ales. The sign outside still swung and creaked in the November wind, but the painted tabard upon it had faded to a ghost of heraldry, its colours bled away by decades of Thames-damp and London rain. A fit emblem, Kit thought, for an age that lived on the ruins of greater things and pretended not to notice the cracks.
Inside, the air hung heavy and brown with smoke from a fire that produced more smell than heat, fed with whatever wood came cheapest—green elm, by the hissing of it, and possibly a broken chair-leg or two. Tallow candles guttered in their sconces, adding their own animal stink to the general fug of wet wool, horse-dung tracked in on boots, and something in the kitchen that might once have been mutton. Bodies pressed close at the long tables: a carrier with the red-veined nose of a man who loved his work's proximity to alehouses; two students in threadbare gowns who might have been Cambridge-bound like himself or might have been Oxford-bound or might simply have stolen the gowns; a woman of uncertain profession and certain availability whose eyes had already assessed Kit twice and found him wanting in purse if not in form. In the far corner, a man with a sword ate alone and looked at no one, which meant, Kit knew, that he was looking at everyone.
The serving-girl brought him what he had paid tuppence for: a posset in a pewter cup, the metal dented and scratched but honest, and a heel of bread with a scraping of dripping that had seen better days, much like the Tabard itself. He wrapped his fingers around the cup and felt the heat of it seep into his bones. November had come into Southwark with iron teeth, and even the short walk from the river-stairs had set him shivering. But now—now there was this small mercy, this warmth rising into his palms and up through his wrists, the cream-and-ale smell of the posset cutting through the room's thick stench. He lifted it to his lips and drank carefully, slowly, making it last, because tuppence was tuppence and Cambridge was still forty miles of cold road away.
The talk around him was loud and unguarded, as talk in alehouses always is when men have drunk enough to forget that walls have ears and ears have owners. At the table nearest the fire, the carrier was holding forth on the subject of Drake—*Sir* Drake soon enough, mark his words, for what queen would not knight a man who brought her a ship's belly full of Spanish silver?
"Sailed round the whole world," the carrier said, with the proprietary air of a man who had once been to Dover. "Round the *whole* world, and came back fatter than he left. They say the *Golden Hind* sits so low in the water with Catholic gold that you could step onto her deck from the quayside."
"Catholic gold," repeated one of the threadbare students, with a thin scholar's sneer. "You mean *stolen* gold. Piracy is piracy, whether you do it for the Queen or for yourself."
"Piracy, is it?" The carrier's face darkened. "And what do you call what the Spanish do in the Indies? What they did at—" He groped for a name he had heard somewhere and could not quite recall. "At Antwerp? At—places? They rob and murder for their Pope, and when an Englishman robs them back, you call it *piracy*?"
The student subsided into his ale, perhaps calculating that the carrier outweighed him by four stone and had friends.
At another table, closer to the door where the draft crept in like a living thing, two men in the plain dark dress of the middling sort were speaking lower, but not low enough. Kit caught the words *Campion* and *Jesuit* and *caught soon, please God*, and then one of the men looked up and caught Kit looking, and Kit returned his attention to his posset with the quickness of long practice. One learned, in a house like his father's, not to be seen listening. One learned that a boy who heard too much might be asked what he had heard, and that the asking might leave marks.
"—say there's hundreds of them," the other man was muttering. "Priests. Creeping in through the ports, hiding in priest-holes, saying their Latin masses in secret and plotting—"
"Plotting what?"
"What do you think? The Queen dead and Mary on the throne and all of us burning for Protestant heresy."
"They'll not take Elizabeth so easy. She's got Walsingham."
The name fell into the conversation like a stone into water, and for a moment both men were silent, as if the spymaster himself might be listening from the smoke-stained rafters. Kit filed the name away in the place where he kept useful things: Walsingham. He did not yet know—how could he?—that this name would wind through his life like a dark thread, like a rope, like a noose. He knew only that it was a name spoken softly, and that names spoken softly were usually worth remembering.
The woman of uncertain profession had given up on Kit and moved to the man with the sword in the corner, who was now looking at her with the weighing expression of a man calculating whether pleasure was worth the risk of pox. The fire hissed and spat as a pocket of sap exploded in the green wood. Someone near the kitchen doorway was complaining about the prior of some dissolved monastery who had died fat and rich in his bed while honest men starved, and someone else was saying that prior had been dead these forty years and what did it matter now, and the first someone was saying it mattered because his grandfather had worked that monastery's lands and where were those lands now? Enclosed for sheep, that's where. Sheep that made wool that made cloth that made rich men richer while poor men—
Kit drank his posset and did not listen, or rather, listened to everything and heard none of it, the way one hears rain on a roof. This was London. This was the world beyond Canterbury, beyond his father's shop with its smell of leather and its rhythm of blows. Forty miles still to Cambridge, where he would learn to be something other than a saddler's son, a cobbler's boy, a target for John Marlowe's fists.
He shifted on the bench, and the movement woke the pain in his left side—a grinding, grating ache that flared hot and then subsided to a dull throb in time with his heartbeat. Cracked, probably. Not broken, or he would not have been able to walk the miles from Canterbury to Gravesend, would not have been able to climb onto the tilt-boat and sit rigid among the other passengers as the Thames carried them past Erith and Woolwich and Greenwich and the great shipyards where England built her walls of oak. But cracked, certainly. He had heard the sound when his father's boot connected—a sound like a green stick bent too far, a sound he remembered from when he was thirteen and watched John Marlowe kick the apprentice Preston until Preston stopped screaming and started only to wheeze and bubble.
Preston had stolen a shilling. Kit had stolen something worse: he had ideas above his station.
*"Cambridge."* His father had said the word as though it were an obscenity, a foreign disease, a curse spoken over the cradle of a child you wished dead. *"Cambridge, is it? And who's to pay for that? Who's to keep you in books and candles while you sit on your arse reading* Latin?"
The kitchen had been warm that evening, warm with the fire and the smell of pottage and the ordinary domestic peace of an ordinary November night. His mother Catherine had been mending by the hearth. Margaret, fourteen and trying to be invisible, had been helping her. Jane and Thomas and little Anne had been at the table, eating in that careful, watchful silence that children learn in houses where a father's mood can turn like autumn weather.
Kit had made the mistake of answering.
"The scholarship pays," he had said. "Archbishop Parker's bequest. It's for boys from the King's School. I've been examined and found fit. It costs you nothing."
*Nothing.* He should not have said *nothing*. He saw his father's face change—saw the blood rise into the cheeks, saw the vein in the temple begin its familiar, terrible pulse—and he knew, even before John Marlowe moved, what was coming. He had seen it too many times not to know. The difference was that this time, for the first time, he did not look away. Did not apologize. Did not perform the cringing submission that sometimes, not always, deflected the blow.
"Costs me nothing," his father repeated, soft and wondering, as though tasting the words for poison. "Costs me *nothing*. I've fed you sixteen years and clothed you sixteen years and taught you a trade that would keep you honest, and you'll stand there in my house and tell me it costs me *nothing* to lose my only son to—to *books*? To *Latin*? To a pack of sneering fellows in their gowns who'll teach you to look down on your own father, your own blood, your own—"
"John," his mother had said, quiet and hopeless, the way she always said it, knowing it would do no good.
"—your own *family*, and you'll come back too fine for honest work, too proud to touch leather, and what then? *What then*, boy? You'll be a schoolmaster at tuppence a week? A parson begging his living from some lord who thinks you're dirt beneath his boots? You're not *gentry*, boy. You're not born to it. You're a cobbler's son and you'll *die* a cobbler's son, no matter how much Latin you stuff into that skull of yours—"
"I'd rather die a scholar," Kit had said, "than live a cobbler."
The silence that followed was worse than shouting. Little Anne had begun to cry, the thin terrified wail of a child who knows what comes next. Thomas had pulled her close, his ten-year-old face pale and old. Jane had looked at Kit with something that might have been admiration or might have been horror at his stupidity—he would never know which. And his father—
His father had smiled. A terrible smile, a smile Kit would remember on his deathbed, whenever and however that death should come.
"Would you now," John Marlowe had said. "Would you *now*."
The first blow had caught Kit across the mouth and filled his vision with stars. The second had knocked him into the table's edge. After that, there had been only the rhythm of it, the boot and the fist and the floor, and his mother screaming something, and Margaret pulling the little ones away, and somewhere in the distance the sound of his own breathing growing wet and strange, and the *crack* of something inside him giving way.
He had left the next morning before dawn, while his father slept. His mother had pressed coins into his hand—her own money, he knew, hidden away shilling by shilling over the years in ways he did not ask about—and kissed his broken face and said nothing, because there was nothing to say. Margaret had given him bread wrapped in cloth. The little ones had not been woken. And he had walked out of Canterbury in the grey November dark, one arm pressed against his ribs, and had not looked back at the house on St. George's Street, and did not intend to look back at it ever again.
Now, in the smoky warmth of the Tabard, Kit pressed his hand lightly against his side and felt the bones protest. Six days. It had been six days, and the bruises were yellowing at the edges, and he could breathe without wanting to scream, mostly. Forty miles to Cambridge. He could do forty miles. He could do anything, now, because the alternative was going back, and he would die in a ditch before he went back.
The posset was cooling in his hands. He drank the rest of it in two long swallows and let the warmth of it settle in his belly, a small bright coal against the cold that waited outside these walls. Tomorrow he would take the North Road. Tomorrow he would begin the journey to whatever he was going to become.
But tonight—tonight there was a fire, and a roof, and ale-warmed cream in a dented pewter cup, and the blessed absence of his father's voice.
It was enough. It would have to be enough.
The morning came grey and grudging, a thin November light that barely troubled to separate itself from the darkness it replaced. Kit paid his penny for the night's straw and another penny for small beer and bread that might have been fresh during the late Queen Mary's reign, and stepped out into Southwark's streets with his satchel over one shoulder and his ribs announcing themselves with every breath.
London Bridge was a river of bodies even at this hour—apprentices and goodwives and beggars and merchants and a funeral procession that blocked the way for twenty minutes while Kit stood pressed against a haberdasher's shopfront and tried not to be jostled. By the time he reached the northern bank, the bells of a dozen churches were ringing eight o'clock, and the sky had decided to spit a fine cold rain that worked its way under his collar and down his spine.
He walked north through Bishopsgate and out along the Ermine Street, the old Roman road that pointed like a finger toward Cambridge. The city fell away behind him—first the houses, then the gardens, then the shambles and the tanneries with their stink, and finally the last straggling suburbs where the alehouses catered to travelers setting out and travelers too drunk or too poor to go further. The rain stopped, started again, stopped. His ribs settled into a steady ache that he could almost ignore if he did not breathe too deeply or step too hard.
He had gone perhaps three miles, the city now a smudge of smoke on the southern horizon, when he heard the cart behind him.
It was a timber-waggon, heavy and slow, drawn by two horses that had seen better decades and driven by a man who looked as though he had been carved from the same oak he carried. Fifty, perhaps. Perhaps older. A face like a clenched fist, all jaw and brow and small suspicious eyes that took in Kit's scholar's gown and patched cloak and muddied boots and found them, apparently, acceptable.
"Cambridge?" the carter said. It was not quite a question.
"Aye."
"Climb up, then. I'm for Ware, but that's twenty mile closer than you are now."
Kit climbed. The movement cost him—his ribs shrieked their objection—but he set his teeth and said nothing, and if the carter noticed the careful way he settled himself among the timber, the man had the grace not to mention it. The waggon lurched forward. The horses plodded on. The road unrolled before them, grey and rutted and empty.
For a mile or more, neither spoke. The carter chewed something—tobacco, perhaps, or simply his own thoughts—and spat occasionally over the side of the waggon. Kit watched the fields go by: stubble and mud and the occasional stand of trees, black and bare against the grey sky. A crow watched them from a fence-post with the air of a judge weighing evidence.
"You'll not want to walk this road alone," the carter said at last. "Not between here and Ware, specially."
"Thieves?"
"Thieves." The carter spat again. "Aye, thieves enough. But that's not what I mean." He jerked his chin toward the dark line of forest that was growing on the horizon—Epping, Kit supposed, the great wood that sprawled across the north of Essex and into Hertfordshire. "Dogs."
"Dogs?"
"Wild ones. Feral, like. After the sickness came through—" He did not say which sickness, and did not need to; there was only one sickness that needed no name. "—people died faster than they could bury them. Dogs ate well that year. Some folk say too well. Got a taste for it, see. And when the food ran out, the ones that lived went into the forest."
Kit thought of the plague years—1563, the great dying, and the smaller visitations since. He had been born the year after the worst of it, but Canterbury had its own memories, its own pits, its own tales of carts piled with bodies and dogs grown fat and fearless on the abundance of death.
"They hunt in packs now," the carter continued. "Twelve, fifteen at a time. Seen them take down a horse once, over Waltham way. Not a pretty sight." He shook his head slowly, almost admiringly. "The bear-wards at Bankside—you know the bear gardens?"
Kit nodded.
"They bring dogs for the baiting. Mastiffs, mostly. Bred for it, trained for it, mean as sin and twice as ugly. I've seen those dogs tear a bear bloody in ten minutes." The carter paused, as if for effect. "The feral ones? The ones from the forest? The bear-wards won't go near them. Say even the bears can smell something wrong with them. Something that's forgotten it was ever tame."
A wind came across the fields, cold and damp, carrying the smell of rotting leaves and something else beneath it—something rank and animal. Kit pulled his cloak tighter.
"They don't come out much in the daylight," the carter added, perhaps noticing Kit's expression. "They hunt at dusk, mostly. Dawn sometimes. As long as we make Ware by nightfall, you'll be fine." He looked at the sky, calculating. "Should do. Should just do, if the road holds."
They rode in silence for a while after that. The forest drew closer, swallowing the horizon, and the road plunged into it like a man diving into dark water. The trees closed overhead—oak and elm and hornbeam, leafless now but thick enough to block what little light the November sky offered. The sound of the wheels changed, muffled by the carpet of dead leaves. Somewhere off in the wood, something moved, and Kit's head snapped toward it before he could stop himself.
"Deer," the carter said, without looking. "Probably."
*Probably.*
Kit thought of his father's boot connecting with his ribs. He thought of the sound Preston had made, that wet bubbling wheeze. He thought of the dogs of Canterbury, the ones that followed the butchers' carts and fought over scraps in the streets—and he thought of those same dogs, multiplied, maddened, starving, with the taste of human flesh still lingering in their blood like original sin.
The forest was very dark.
"How much further to Ware?" he asked.
The carter looked at the sky again. Spat.
"Far enough," he said.
---
The room was small, but it was warm.
This was what Kit noticed first, standing in the doorway of the chamber on the second floor of the Old Court with his satchel over his shoulder and his ribs still aching and the mud of forty miles drying on his boots. A fire burned in the grate—a real fire, with real coals, not the hissing green wood of the Tabard. A window of actual glass, not oiled cloth, looked out onto the court below. Two beds along one wall, a third along the other, each with blankets and a pillow and a chest at the foot for belongings. A table for study. A shelf for books. A candle—tallow, not wax, but still a candle—in a holder that did not look as though it would fall over and burn the place down.
Three beds. Two other occupants. After the house on St. George's Street—after sharing space with four siblings and parents and the endless cramped chaos of a craftsman's household, after sleeping in the room above the shop where the smell of leather seeped into your dreams—this was a palace. This was paradise. This was more space than Kit had ever had in his sixteen years of life, and for a moment he simply stood there, breathing it in, feeling something loosen in his chest that was not entirely his ribs.
Then one of his new roommates looked up from his book, and paradise froze over.
The boy was perhaps seventeen, fair-haired and pink-cheeked, with the well-fed look of someone who had never missed a meal that was not voluntarily fasted. His gown was new, his collar clean, his hands white and soft and utterly innocent of labor. He looked at Kit the way one might look at a rat that had wandered in from the gutter: with disgust, yes, but also with a kind of offended bewilderment, as though the universe had violated some fundamental covenant by allowing such a creature to exist in his presence.
"You're the Parker scholar," he said. It was not a question. "From Canterbury."
"Aye."
"Marlowe, is it? What does your father do, Marlowe?"
The question was a blade, and the boy knew it. Kit saw it in the slight curve of his lips, the eager malice in his pale eyes. He had met this boy before—or rather, he had met this boy a hundred times, in a hundred forms, in the streets of Canterbury and the schoolyard of King's School and everywhere else that the sons of gentlemen encountered the sons of those who made things with their hands.
"He's a shoemaker," Kit said. There was no point in lying. College records were not secret, and the scholarship was specifically for Canterbury boys of limited means. They would find out soon enough. Better to say it plain and watch the reaction than to have it discovered like a hidden shame.
The reaction was everything he had expected and nothing he had hoped.
"A *shoemaker*." The boy turned to his companion—another Norfolk face, older, with the same well-fed smugness and the same soft hands—and his voice carried the wondering contempt of a naturalist discovering a new species of vermin. "They've put us in a room with a *cobbler's* son."
"The Parker scholarships are for the deserving poor," the second boy said, not looking up from his own book. "Archbishop Parker believed in charity."
"Archbishop Parker believed in educating future clergymen. Not in—" The fair-haired boy gestured at Kit, at his patched cloak and muddied boots and the satchel that held everything he owned. "—not in *this*."
Kit set his satchel on the empty bed. The movement sent a flare of pain through his ribs, and he let nothing show on his face. "The scholarship is for boys of promise from the King's School," he said. "I was examined and found fit. The Master of Corpus Christi accepted me. If you have objections, you may take them to him."
"Oh, I've no objection." The fair-haired boy smiled—a thin, sharp smile that reminded Kit, with a sudden visceral lurch, of his father. "God orders all things according to His will. The elect are elect, and the—" He paused, savouring the word. "—the *lower orders* are what they are. You're here on charity, Marlowe. You'll sit at the scholars' table and eat the scholars' portion and wear the scholars' gown, and all of Cambridge will know exactly what you are by looking at you. It's not for me to object. It's simply..." He wrinkled his nose delicately, as though detecting an unpleasant smell. "...the natural order of things, revealing itself."
*The elect are elect.* Calvin's doctrine, twisted into a weapon. God had chosen some men for salvation and others for damnation, and you could tell which was which by looking at their fathers' professions, their mothers' dowries, the cut of their cloth and the softness of their hands. Kit had heard this logic before, in sermons and in schoolrooms, and had always felt the cold anger of it in his gut—the idea that heaven itself was a country club for gentlemen, and that the poor were poor because God had made them so, and the rich were rich because God loved them best.
He said nothing. There was nothing to say that would not make things worse, and he had learned—in a harder school than this—when to speak and when to hold his tongue.
The second boy finally looked up. "Which bed is his?"
"That one, I suppose. By the door. Furthest from the fire."
Of course. The coldest spot, the darkest corner, the place where drafts crept in and warmth did not reach. Kit pulled back the blanket and sat down on the mattress—straw, not feathers, but clean—and began to unlace his boots. His hands were steady. His face was stone.
*This is not the worst thing that has happened to you this week*, he told himself. *This is not a fist. This is not a boot. This is only words, and words cannot break your ribs.*
But words, he was learning, had their own kind of fractures.
---
Later, after the candle had been extinguished and his roommates' breathing had settled into the rhythm of sleep, Kit lay in the cold bed by the door and stared at the ceiling and thought of warmth.
Not the fire in the grate, banked now to embers that gave no comfort to his corner. Not the thin blanket that was not quite enough against the November chill. He thought, instead, of a timber-waggon on the road through Epping Forest, and the smell of sawdust and horse-sweat, and the slow steady plod of two Suffolk Punches the color of autumn leaves.
The carter had let him off at Ware, where the road forked and the timber went west and Cambridge lay north. Kit had reached into his purse—his mother's shillings, carefully hoarded, already diminished by the Tabard and the tilt-boat and the bread and ale along the way—and held out a penny.
"For the ride," he said. "It's not much, but—"
The carter had looked at the penny, then at Kit, and something had shifted in that clenched-fist face. Not pity, exactly. Something rougher and more honest than pity.
"Keep it, lad."
"I can pay. I'm not asking for charity."
"And I'm not offering it." The carter had gathered his reins, preparing to turn the waggon toward the western road. "You're light as a flea, boy. My girls there—" He jerked his chin toward the two great chestnut mares, their coats glowing like copper in the late afternoon light. "—they never even knew you were aboard. Can't charge a man for what costs me nothing."
Kit had stood there, penny in hand, not knowing what to say.
"You're for the university, are you?" the carter asked.
"Aye. Corpus Christi."
"Corpus Christi." The carter nodded slowly, as though this confirmed something. "They'll make a scholar of you, then. A priest, maybe. A gentleman." He looked at Kit—at the bruises still visible on his jaw, at the way he held his left arm against his ribs, at the threadbare cloak and the muddy boots and the eyes that were too old for the face that held them. "You'll do well, I think. You've the look of a survivor."
"How do you know?"
"I know horses." The carter spat over the side of the waggon. "You can tell, with horses, which ones will run till their hearts give out and which ones will lie down in the traces. It's in the eye. You've got the eye, boy. Whatever's chasing you—" He did not ask what it was, and Kit did not offer. "—you'll outrun it."
He had clicked his tongue to the mares—*Come on, girls, come on my beauties*—and the waggon had creaked into motion, and Kit had watched it go until it disappeared around the bend in the road, the great chestnut hindquarters of the Suffolk Punches swaying like ships in a slow swell.
He had never asked the carter's name.
---
Now, in the dark of Corpus Christi, with the Norfolk boy's contempt still ringing in his ears and the cold creeping into his bones and forty miles of hard road behind him and a lifetime of harder roads ahead, Kit pressed his hand against his ribs and remembered the carter's words.
*You've got the eye, boy. You'll outrun it.*
He closed his eyes. Sleep, when it came, was thin and restless, full of forests and dogs and the sound of his father's voice saying *Cambridge* like a curse. But beneath it all, like a coal that would not quite go out, there was the memory of two chestnut horses and a man who had asked for nothing and given what he could.
In the morning, Kit would rise. He would wash his face in cold water and put on his scholar's gown and go to chapel and begin the long work of becoming someone other than John Marlowe's son. He would learn Greek and logic and rhetoric and all the other weapons that a cobbler's boy needed to survive in a world that wanted him to know his place and stay in it.
But tonight—tonight he held onto the warmth of a stranger's kindness, and it was enough.
My today's books for @thenightwifeoftheladybird @catbayunthestoryteller @boldlyhappydreamland @diaryyun
Russian edition of magnificent The Gray House by Mariam Petrosyan and (exclusive) second russian biography of Marlowe by Parfenov (first one was written by Storozhenko in SPb in 1872, and had four editions before 1917, I could purchase only its reprint).
