I can fix him ❤ @bong-bing-bongus - Tumblr Blog

one subreddit I have no business following but follow anyway is /r/ApplyingtoCollege

Sex is cringe. "Hey do you wanna come over and play boners together?" What naked bullshit. They have played us for fools.

juliagirlfail

ratliker1917

the fact that pro-monarchy arguments have degenerated, over the past few centuries, from “the king rules by divine right and is accountable to nobody but god”, to “uhm the royals generate a lot of income from tourism” will never stop being extremely funny to me

ratlicker1917

the monarchs… bad. but the castles? oh, the castles are positively lush with rats… 👅

ratliker1917

Delete this account immediately.

lemonsweet

They're always eating everything

degenderates

teaboot

POV: Your grimdark fantasy love interest is a beagle puppy

shaydh

"DID YOU KNOW THIS PERSON DRAWS PORN I AM CLUTCHING MY PEARLS" cool i am blocking you

volno

Them: "I can't believe this artist draws porn!" Me:

zzoupz

dogpuppy

industrial-humping-mutilation

better a gray pube in the bush than two gay prudes outside

wise truths of the mountain

shuihuzhuan

does anyone remember that artist that was like “i’ll sexualize anything i’ll even sexualize a stop sign” and it was just them drawing a stop sign head on an anime woman body because like honestly that’s so embarrassing you can’t even do it properly

shuihuzhuan

if you have to lean on that as a crutch you clearly won’t sexualize anything and need to study the masters. like whoever drew pregnant clippy

fleshdyk3

just passed a church that had a harley quinn hentai tapestry in one of the windows

charl0ttan

fleshdyk3

just passed a church that had nothing in one of the windows

tim-official

there are two competing sects on this website - one that uses the word "spicy" to mean "neurodivergent" and one that uses the word "spicy" to mean "sexual content." i do not like either of them

anarcho-gamerist

I use spicy to describe food

catgirlforeskin

my food is mentally ill and I’m putting my dick in it

fruitviking

Twilight

s4pph0m3t

kechuop

I animated more jugs

@moctor

time to get back to my main project, in a week or so, I'm currently drained

chthonic-pain

everyone dunking on that automated fleshlight sex toy needs to remember that disabled people get horny too ok 💜

chthonic-pain

having a masturbator that moves itself, holds your phone, and gives the user exact and immediate control of speed and intensity is fucking revolutionary for disabled people who cannot jack off without assistive devices. for some reason nobody wants to talk about disabled people masturbating but since all of you #sexpositive #feminists agree that jacking off is normal and good and everyone should be able to do it, you have to extend that sentiment to disabled people too. people who cannot move their hands/arms get horny. people who have no core strength get horny. if you physically cannot hump a fleshlight or use a manual sex toy or give yourself a handjob then it is very difficult to experience sexual pleasure without another person involved.

disabled people deserve sex toys that work with their bodies. disabled people deserve to be able to sexually pleasure themselves. disabled people deserve adapted sex toys that the entire fucking internet does not decide to make "lazy basement dweller creep" jokes about.

vitariesocks

Reminder that in the 1970s, disabled man Gosnell Duncan, who was paralyzed from the waist down, created body-safe silicone and silicone dildos as a response to the needs of the disabled community. Duncan’s work was important in bringing sex toys — particularly dildos — into the public eye, meaning they became much more accessible for all Americans.

You can’t disconnect sex toys from disability and disability history. If you use any body-safe silicone today, sex toy or not, you have Duncan to thank.

More on Duncan here:

It’s hard to imagine that sex toys were once controversial within the feminist movement.

ouppyboy420

Also, this website has really really great accessible sex toys and other sex accessories (chairs, cushions) Their stuff is priced pretty well too, considering that it’s high quality stuff.

Sex bolsters and straps, vibrators with handles, male strokers for erectile dysfunction and so much more. Naughty North has the ONLY collect

underwhelmedandoverstimulated

This is all great and important history to learn, but it does bother me that we have to invoke disability to get people to not mock men having sex toys. A woman can have a wifi enabled bluetooth speakered 8 speed dildo saddle, and no one bats an eye, but god forbid a man use anything but his hand.

wolfinmyribcage

It is pretty weird yeah. Stemming from the perception that men are already sexually liberated and anything further is just perversion, as well as the idea that a man not getting sex from a woman makes him inferior, I think. Patriarchal bullshit is a chain on us all.

ikeepseeingghosts

If anyone is more interested in the work behind the Gävle goat there is apparently a documentary here, unfortunately mostly in swedish, but what I found most charming is that you can climb into the goat through a door in it's behind.

And if you ever wondered: yes, according to rumors a couple have fucked in the Gävle goat. In 1966 in fact, the first year it was up and before any kind of arson. I don't know why they threw that into the documentary but this goat has layers is all I'm saying.

cargopantsman

just imagining going for a quickie in the goat and suddenly you're surrounded by flames

arborealgargoyle

love that i was presented with the fact that the goat is a fuck spot so quickly that i hadn't even had time to come to that question naturally on my own.

me: oh you can go inside the goat? wow look you can see the wooden support system on the inside that's so-

this post: AND YOU CAN FUCK IN IT WERE YOU WONDERING IF YOU COULD FUCK IN IT BECAUSE PEOPLE HAVE DONE THAT

me: i...ok. i need Time to process this i'm-

cargopantsman: QUICK NOW imagine dying by arson while FUCKING IN THE GOAT

me: ...i ...i guess this is my fault for logging on to tumblr dot com

victusinveritas

“Back in the eighties dungeons were becoming a thing in New York. Guys would pay a lot of money to come there and have some dominatrix tell them what to do. I was making leather pencil skirts for a lot of the doms, with holes in the back so that guys could kiss their ass. One day I was fitting a dom named Asia, and I told her: ‘I bet I could make more money than you without wearing stuff like this.’ She bet me I couldn’t. It was all a big goof. But then I started really thinking about it. Asia was making $150 a session, and that was real money. So I did the same thing I always do when I get an idea. I just ran an ad in the back of the Village Voice. Most of these girls were advertising how young they were. So I used the word ‘mature.’ And I figured out how to write ‘Jewish Guys Welcome’ in Yiddish, and I put that at the bottom. It was some of the easiest money I ever made. I never let them touch me. All I had to do was be a bossy black woman. And I could do that easy because my mother had been such a bitch. I’d pretend to be a school teacher, or a nanny. It was the dumbest shit. I just kept inventing crazy scenarios. And the crazier the scenario, the more money I made. One time I heard about a dom on the Upper East Side who charged $3,000 a week to kidnap a guy and lock him in her basement. I didn’t have a basement, but I knew a limo driver named Dean who liked to hustle like me. So every time I got a call from a new client, I’d say: ‘You want to be kidnapped, don’t you?’ And he’d start stuttering like: ‘Duh, duh, duh, duh.’ And I’d say: ‘Listen to me closely. Stand on the corner of 5th and 18th tomorrow at 3 pm. Don’t be late.’ Then I’d call Dean and tell him the plan. It was always easy to spot the guy. He’d be the one checking his watch and looking scared as shit. So we’d roll up in the limo, grab him by the collar, and pull him inside. Then I’d lock the doors and start telling him what to do. Everything went down in the back of the limo. Dean just rolled up the partition and kept his eyes on the road. At the end I’d give him $100, because I was getting $250 for that.”

-Happy 81st birthday to Stephanie 'Tanqueray' Johnson. If you see her wheeling around Chelsea today wish her a happy birthday, and there is a nonzero chance she will give you a glow-in-the-dark dildo eraser. -Humans of New York

henk-heijmans

Ethel King adds the finishing painterly touches to a large specimen of groper in preparation for display at an international exhibition in Dunedin, New Zealand, ca. 1926 - by G.C. Clutton (1885 - 1947), Australian