i tell lies on the internet

toxic | 20s | stoner | pirate

[superdaisypowerhour]

"if i had a time machine i would go back in time and kill hitler"

I would put sea mines around medieval britain. i would give hannibal barca ww2 era heavy artillery and tell him not to stop till he starts seeing gauls. i would give boudica a fucking abrams. i would appear before jesus like an angel and tell him "you gotta stop. not cause theyll kill you, youre fine with that, surprisingly, but because your fanclub is gonna spend about 1500 years making everything worse for everyone, everywhere." I would take a glock back in time and shoot romulus, shoot remus, and shoot that damn dog too just to be safe. i would be on the side of christopher columbus' ship in a scuba suit planting c4 on that bitch like rainbow six siege. i would be waging a one woman campaign of terror across andalusia to prevent the reconquista. i would be getting way out in front of that shit is what im saying,

[sowhatifiliveinfukuoka]

Time for bed...

[cottoncandylesbo]

goodnight tumblr, goodnight blog

goodnight pics of large round hog

goodnight blocklist, goodnight tags

goodnight lovely fags and hags

goodnight funny, goodnight toys

goodnight to all various joys

goodnight butches, goodnight bears

goodnight tumblrinas everywhere

[xlemonhoneyx]

So is anyone obsessed with me yet?

[mizuform]

bouncing on it stupid and dorky style

[laterkiss]

everytime i want something i should be shot in the head

[laterkiss]

wanting to get shot in the head for wanting something is also wanting

[manincaffeine]

Actually sleeping with someone is so nice like waking up in the middle of the night and snuggling closer or lazily giving them a kiss or just feeling their arms around you squeeze slightly even though they're in a deep sleep or handholding while you both are asleep.

[exitwound]

I have a disease called I can’t reply to your text. I love you

[segamascott]

[kakuriyo]

[cafe-com-rapadura04-deactivated]

[mtfdomme]

Can you describe your dick for us? 🤤

Louder than Gods revolver and twice as shiny

[dragongirlsweetie]

Take my paw and let's smoke spider weed together

we are going to get spider high it will be so awesome

[dykemd]

first season of the bear was a cinematic experience the likes of which we will never see again while every other season of the bear since has been some bullshit they put together for ppl who get off to gentrification and indie music

[kirikomamura]

[weirdgirlvampire]

POPPING BOTTLES IN THE ICE!!!!!!! LIKE A BLIZZARD!!!!!!! WHEN WE DRINK WE DO IT RIGHT GETTING SLIZZARD!!!!!!!!!!

[depsidase]

[fittingoutjane]

Ebola is still spreading in several countries in central Africa. How did the outbreak manage to spread so far and infect so many people without being detected? This guy!

This guy, in violation of Congressional funding allocation, withdrew tons of international aid. The end of USAID was orchestrated without warning, without a wind-down plan, leaving critical infrastructure to simply collapse.