this is the real world, honey, bienvenue @spider-shoes - Tumblr Blog

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this summer im gradually changing my substance of choice from alcohol to weed bc I love to drink but the digestive issues are getting out of hand #tummyhurty #responsible

as someone who has a crippling anxiety disorder (on ssris AND sedatives) learning to talk to strangers was the best thing that ever happened to me bro. I helped a guy waiting for the same coach bus as me at the airport lug his suitcase up 3 flights of stairs when our bus pulled up to the wrong ramp and we had to hustle. I bantered with the woman sitting next to me on said bus and she shared her m&m’s with me. like the world is such a beautiful beautiful place

spider-shoes

my bf really likes nerds gummy clusters so I keep a bag in my purse and I give him a few whenever he does something good like talk about his feelings or whatever. like a dog

spider-shoes

my friends said it’s unethical to train a guy like a dog but I’m pretty sure it’s consensual so whatever

aropride

why is it called a smart phone if its stupid as fuck

my bf really likes nerds gummy clusters so I keep a bag in my purse and I give him a few whenever he does something good like talk about his feelings or whatever. like a dog

if-i-was-a-wyrm

sonce the sports are happening big rn where i live i made a handy chart of all the phrases i use to communicate with my loved ones during these trying times. i thought others might find it useful too

ive discovered you can have whole conversations with people using just these phrases and none will be any the wiser that you dont even know what sport it is theyre talking about

callizinc

When the story has a sequence where the characters each get personally tortured with their exact personalized greatest fears and traumas

#hi calli

every carnivore diet post is like "at a routine checkup my doctor told me my heart would explode if I don't eat plants in the next 24 minutes. I'm skeptical but willing to try. should I?" and all the comments are like "doctor doesn't know anything" "have you tried oxbile" "just wait another year"

pangur-and-grim

she's starting to look like a stuffed animal that got hugged too much

dogpuppy

spider-shoes

hearing abt my friends’ surveillance state jobs at like big chain pharmacies or whatever is crazy cus like at work the other day my manager AND the owner were hanging out in the dining room doing work while five of us were standing around eating fries and talking shit they dgaf we js asked if they wanted some

spider-shoes

on the manager-in-training’s second day I was showing her how to work the ipads and I rlly wanted a sandwich but I couldn’t figure out how to apply the employee discount to it from the ipad so after I got my sandwich I was like this is how to delete a tab ^-^ and she was like hehe okay ^-^

spider-shoes

some regular was being kinda weird to the female barstaff and my supervisor just went "you can't fucking say that here"

your man thinks it takes 20 mins to caramelize onions. i think abt that post a lot

crowlines

I'm on my way

now that backrooms is released can kane make more of people still live here I miss people still live here

spider-shoes

kane parsons you are one of the only people on this planet I trust to make a good piece of backrooms media. do not fuck this up for us kane parsons please

spider-shoes

well done kane parsons

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this is the real world, honey, bienvenue