Too DeWitt to Quit

A largely irrelevant blog with no discernible theme or direction.

[bookerlegit]

Thinking about pie.

[hustlerose]

[fujiwaradivebar]

Just got a baffling survey from Google rewards

[kim-jong-chill]

[bookerlegit]

On my latest foray into Silvermoon City, one of the locals saw through my clever disguise, and I had to take drastic measures to ensure they didn’t alert the guards.

Thankfully, I am a master of seduction.

[bookerlegit]

Eat shit, Tumblr! You missed the most sexually charged post on this site.

[timsutton]

I think the worst thing about the slenderman movie coming out is that slenderman will finally be getting twenty dollars

I hope everyone sees this

[theonion]

Grumblethor The Mischievous Pleased With Mayhem His Magical Antics Have Wrought Upon White House–FBI Relations

THE REALM OF MISDOING—Cackling with glee while observing the turmoil brought about by his consternating ways, enchanted goblin Grumblethor the Mischievous—creator of the world’s chaos and confusion—revealed Wednesday that he is pleased with the mayhem his magical antics have wrought upon White House–FBI relations. “Look at the halfwits in Washington as they fall under my bewitching spell, sniping at each other like the hapless fools they are—Oh, it has all been so devilishly simple!” said the Lord of Mischief and Mayhem, peering into his smoke-filled Globe of Deceit with visible delight as resentful tweets appeared from Andrew McCabe, Donald Trump, John O. Brennan, and James Comey, among others. “Soon, I will befuddle the dunces in the Supreme Court into posting Facebook statuses about their anger toward Congress, and so Grumblethor’s diabolical plans will come to fruition! Fye-dee-dee, dum-dee-dee, another triumph for rascally me!” At press time, Grumblethor was seen cantering in joy through his Cavern of Disorder after a minion brought word that millions of Americans believed that a “deep state” in the government pulled levers behind the scenes.

[clickholeofficial]

Und Hungr’y Hogg Have Aten Öll Th’ Bibles Een Aur Vellage Laster Nighten. Kann You Writt Ein New Bible Far Us, Plase Goodest Educated Sir?

Afff! Een thay nighten, und hogge ov greatest hung’r hass Aten ov Th’ Bibles thro’out thar vellAge. Plase, Goodest sir, you must writt ein new Bible far öll ov us parr sÖlls of whome hav gott noone ov goode larnen oter den Hogge-minden an’sötch.

Moree

[theonion]

White House Begins Christmas Season With Ceremonial Lighting Of Cross

[clickholeofficial]

Devastating: Guy With Headphones On Is Rocking Out So Hard He Doesn’t Notice His Wife Getting Married To The Predator

[artmagine]

Life and Death by Nell Fallcard

[clickholeofficial]

Actions Have Consequences: George H.W. Bush’s Wheelchair Has Been Permanently Tipped 70 Degrees Backward To Punish Him For Groping Women

[logarto]

my mutuals: *talking abt wanting to fuck anime characters or cuphead characters or whatfucking ever* me: 

[pochowek]

My current mood is making litttle horror shorts out of buzzfeed videos

[clickholeofficial]

Taking A Stand: Congress Has Passed A Bill Making It Illegal To Sell Firearms To The Las Vegas Shooter

In the wake of the Las Vegas shooting, Congress has been under tremendous public pressure to act against gun violence in America. Today, they acted. Americans on both sides of the aisle can be proud of their congresspeople, who have taken a stand and passed a bill making it illegal to sell firearms to the Las Vegas shooter.

Take notice: This is what it looks like when government works.

H.R.1027, The Stephen Paddock Violence Prevention Act, was introduced last night by Democrat Tulsi Gabbard (HI-02) and Republican Trey Gowdy (SC-04), and rapidly passed the house with overwhelming bipartisan support. The bill itself is straightforward, common-sense legislation that strictly prohibits gun sales of any kind to Las Vegas shooter Stephen Paddock, preventing him from committing any mass shootings in the future. The text of the bill isn’t messing around, either, taking aim squarely at the massacre’s perpetrator without ambiguity or loopholes:

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[clickholeofficial]

Reply with your name! 

[clickholeofficial]

Leading The Resistance: eBaum’s World Is Offering Exclusive Access To An Unreleased ‘Salad Fingers’ Episode For Anyone Who Brings Them The Scalp Of A Nazi

Okay, this is seriously awesome.

Every day, more and more companies commit themselves to resisting the despicable racism America saw white nationalists preaching in Charlottesville two weekends ago. However, one business in particular has taken the lead in demonstrating how companies can effectively pledge their resources to the cause: EBaum’s World is offering exclusive access to an unreleased Salad Fingers episode for anyone who brings them the scalp of a Nazi.

Incredible. EBaum’s World is single-handedly setting the pace for how businesses can help fight fascism!

The long-running viral-content website announced on its homepage today that any user who mails or hand-delivers a detached Nazi scalp to its San Francisco headquarters will be granted access to a never-before-seen installment of the popular mid-2000s webseries Salad Fingers. Each scalp will have to be verified as a genuine Nazi before a download code will be issued to the scalper to prevent people from scalping non-Nazis then shaving a fascist haircut into the scalp.

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