I spent one hundred and thirty dollars so you don't have to

I ordered Taako’s Correspondence School of Wizardry, Cantrips, & other Magicks AND Taako's Sizzling Chef Bundle. Can't afford it yourself? I'll be posting pics and descriptions of every mysterious package I get in the mail this fall, so YOU poor schmucks can stay in the loop! (I'll also be rebloging other good TAZ content to fill in the gaps)

[caelidra]

Alrighty folks! Here we go!

I’m logging out in a moment, and my winter vacation starts tomorrow. So the plan is to unplug from tumblr until I return home in january. And then I’ll pop back to see if this blog got deleted or not. Until then, you can find me at:

Twitter and Pillowfort

My queue is empty so this post should stay at the top of my blog while I’m gone.

It’s been fun y’all, I’ll miss this hellhole :3

[bootlegflipwizard]

All right guys, here's my main accounts, once I figure out where to put this on other sites I'll let you know! Everything is backed up (I think) but if I have to remake my posts it's no biggie.

See y'all on the other side!

[bootlegflipwizard]

hey, i also god the school/chef bundle but i've only received 2 boxes, is that all there is?

There should be three; The first half of the school with all the puzzles, the second half with the rewards, and the box with the chef school goodies (there are no puzzles for that one)

[bootlegflipwizard]

I don't think this would be an issue, but do you have a backup plan if Tumblr (for some dumb reason) deems this content "adult"? ~Student in Arkansas

I'm currently attempting to back up my blogs on wordpress, although it's not really working so I might need to find an alternative.

I'm also working on getting a pillowfort set up, but if that's not ready I'll be posting my main Twitter so I can let you know where we're moving to. If what I've heard about the ban bots is true, it doesn't matter what kind of blog you run. Abra-ca-fuck-us I guess :/

[bottleshark]

Hail and well met.

[bootlegflipwizard]

We'll be at the Youmacon Adventure Zone photoshoot if anyone wants to say hi!

[umbrellaguns]

DRESSING UP TAAKO…FANCY LAD

[bootlegflipwizard]

did you solve the green labyrinth puzzle yet? I'm stuck :(

Hey, sorry we've been dead over here everyone. We in fact have all the puzzles figured out, and I'll be posting the answers for green here as soon as I can. School's been kicking our butts, and there was a family thing that used up a lot of free time for quite a few weeks. Hopefully the entire box will be posted before the end of the year. At the very least we'll have more time during Candlenight break to get everything together.In the meantime, we'll be at Youmacon this weekend! So if you wanna berate us in person for keeping you waiting, just look for the Taako and Kravitz stealing the show ;p

[liz-sketch]

Day 4- Spell

[apollinaresart]

I can’t stop drawing him yall

[bootlegflipwizard]

Lesson Two: Green Labyrinth Folder

Keep reading

[bootlegflipwizard]

Lesson Two: Green Labyrinth Folder

[Transcript:

GEO101: Navigation for wizards

Lesson Description:

As long as labyrinthine corridors hide terrible creatures, and vampiric catacombs exist, it is without a doubt that you will at some point become lost. Basic navigation skills will always be required knowledge for accomplished wizards.

Objectives:

To introduce basic navigation techniques.

To introduce advanced navigation techniques.

Required:

Required: The navigation worksheet.

Supplies: Pencil (not included).

Directions:

Complete the challenges in numerical order.

Each challenge will involve crossing runes on your path.

Collect the runes and send the directions to Taako on the Stone of Farspeech.

Wizard School Advice:

“Fact: Not all who wander are lost, but some fully, totally, are just super lost.”

End Transcript]

(Sorry about the quality, this one was real hard to photograph because of the size. I’ll be sure to post a picture of the rune code with the answers just in case you can’t figure this lesson out from these pics.)

[bootlegflipwizard]

Hey babies, sorry for the delay on lesson two. Some family stuff happened this weekend and jacked all my shit up. It should be up in the next day or two though, so hang tight! In the meantime, I found a small, crinkly letter at the bottom of the box, y’all! it wasn’t even in the inventory list they sent! Secret bonus content! 

Howdy boys!

How y’all doing? Great job saving the world a few months back. Guessing we pissed off some kind of big outer space demon or something? Whatever it was it did a real number on this humble little holler of a town. Tourism’s never been a big draw for Refuge, but don’t nobody wanna come to a town that got all blown up.

I got some bad news. Diamond mine’s all dried up, and we invested most of what we pulled up on... well, a bunch of junk, really. Got a monorail goin in town, which looking back, we probably didn’t need. I put a lot of our finances in root beer barrel futures, which didn’t exactly pay out. Folks weren’t too pleased about that one. Next election’s looking mighty grim for old Cassidy, I tell ya.

Anyways, the good news is we came across an old mining ledger with hope for Refuge township. There’s a vault hidden deep - like, real deep - in the old mines where some shady excavators squirelled a cache of diamonds away.

Problem is they embezzled the everliving hell outta their haul and I can’t even get in the dang front door. Tried blowin’ it up, and - get this - it won’t blow up. Front door is covered in some scratchy Gnoll writing and some riddle I don’t understand. I am positively spooked by this magical door, y’all.

I’m hopin’ you’ll lend a hand to Refuge one more time, and help get our town up and runnin’ again. I’d sat I’d be willin’ to negotiate a cut of the diamond you recover as payment for your assistance, but I’m guessin’ you’re just gonna keep a bunch of ‘em without tellin’ us anyways, so I ain’t gonna waste my ink.

Hope to hear from y’all soon! Our post office is pretty exploded at the moment, but I’m sure your reply’ll get back to me, somehow.

Your pal,

Mayor Cassidy

[bootlegflipwizard]

Lesson One Answers

!SPOILERS! under the cut

Elvish Poem:

To Eat To Sleep

Thoughts pass as gentle brook

Legs stretched eyes closed

Shaded from the sun

Crickets cry trees creak

I wonder not their distress

To withhold is to save

The best for last

Gnoll Door:

Leader Turkash dies this day

raids many towns join lands

smell their fear at dark we

hunt them take what is ours

fear us they run cowards

the gnoll tribe makes chase

all we want is ours

storm barker Khartug calls

rain from sky to honor the pack

celebrate we wash our fur

blood runs to the river

of ancestors

Leader Turkash lives forever

To complete the riddle, enter the Gnoll shaman’s name “Khartug” into the Stone of Farspeech in Elven runes.

[bootlegflipwizard]

Lesson One: Orange Feather Folder

[Transcript:

LNG101: Languages for Wizards

Lesson Description:

This lesson involves a careful examination of language as a tool for communication. Primary emphasis is on comprehension of transliteration basics. This is a practical necessity for all students of magick and should be used as a beginners guide or as a refresher for apprentices.

Objectives:

Introduce the language of the Elves.

Introduce the language of the Gnolls.

Understanding the basic process of transliteration.

Required:

Required: Short Elven poem “To eat To sleep”, Long Gnoll saga in writing.

Supplies: Pencil (not included).

Directions:

Refresh yourself with the Elven language, then use it to decipher the Gnoll scratchings copied from the hypothetical door. Utilize your greater knowledge to solve the riddle” Doors open by the Elvish spell of Gnoll shaman.” Share the solution with Taako on the Stone of Farspeech.

Wizard School Advice:

“Everyone knows this one weird word in Elvish and Gnoll.”

End Transcript]

[bootlegflipwizard]

It’s here! Now you too can go on the wondrous adventure of Taako’s Correspondence School of Wizardry, Cantrips, & Other Magicks!

[Transcript:

Welcome student,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been matriculated at Taako’s Correspondence School of Wizardry, Cantrips & Other Magicks. We trust you have found all required equipment for your introductory lessons enclosed.

You are one of the privileged thousands to join this prestigious (and prestidigitatious!) university.Your dreams of all-powerful-demigod-hood are just a few short lessons away. You will be guided carefully and thoughtfully by the world-famous transmutation wizard, Taako (best known for his many televised appearances). Through each challenging and carefully planned lesson, you’ll achieve mastery of all known schools of magick, except necromancy, due to considerable legal issues associated with ethical corpse acquisition.

To facilitate your scholarly pursuits, we are bestowing upon you an illusory Stone of Far Speech ( taakoschool.com ) where the great wizard himself is presently waiting to hear from you by dialing the runes {see picture} and pressing the send button.

Yours in magick,

Ren Mol’diira

Assistant Dean of Magic

End Transcript]

Lesson One will come next, see you then!

[pickledylans]

so dont bother him!

[apollinaresart]

soft